So me and my husband have been married for 3 months… I know it’s not a long time but we have been together for a good while. Well, here several months ago when we were just dating, he went from being the sweetest guy ever to treating me bad and blaming it all on his anxiety. Well I dropped him off at his house cause he asked to be alone. The next morning I was gonna bring him some breakfast and coffee I walk in the house there’s another woman and her kid there. He pulls me to my car and tells me to drive so I did. He claimed he wanted to be with me and everything well long story short he ended it with me. A few weeks later his friend calls me and wants me to come to my now husbands home to talk. Well we did and I forgave him and things have been perfect ever since. He earned my trust back and has treated me amazing until after we got married, Well, a few things have been bothering me. First thing is he doesn’t have a job, I have a part time job because that’s all I could find in my little town. He gets disability, he doesn’t do anything around the house unless I gripe at him to do it…. Then he gets mad and half way does it and then starts doing other things that he wants to do, and I get upset about it. The next, I’ve caught him watching porn before which I wouldn’t mind him watching porn but we haven’t had sx in months! So it kinda offends me! I’ve looked at his internet history and he admitted it and he blames it all on me that he can’t have no privacy and he gets mad and gives me his phone saying he doesn’t need it that he’s always with me anyways…. well then we have an old cell phone I was trying to cell I kept in my drawer. I asked him where it was at and he said he had no idea. It came up missing so I looked everywhere for it. I found a stick halfway under the bed so I got down and looked under the bed and found that phone and it had porn on it…. I asked him about it I didn’t accuse him of it but he gets really mad and says that I don’t trust him that someone else must’ve done it keep in mind we don’t have anyone else in the household but us, he says that maybe my family broke in our house and found it but it showed porn in it while I was asleep that night. I wouldn’t be mad about him watching it if he was attentive to me! He doesn’t look at me or have sex with me of any kind and I’m very very self conscious and I hate myself to be honest and that makes it worse and makes me feel like he doesn’t want to see me naked but he wants to watch these beautiful hot girls have sex… another thing, he doesn’t show me affection or call me honey or baby or anything like he used to. He starts arguments and claims that I’m the one who started them. He gets mad over little things that make no sense…. And I have anxiety and panic attacks really bad and he used to bring me out of them now he just says well I don’t know what to do and ignores me. I told him all of this because it’s the way I feel and he doesn’t know what to tell me or he gets mad and somehow it’s always my fault. I know he’s under a lot of stress because he is going to court over a custody dispute over his kids which I’m the one gathering all evidence and getting everything together for…. Which is extremely stressful on me which I have my own court hearing to deal with as well for things that happened in my past…. Not to mention he gets mad if I ask what he’s doing and said he doesn’t need to be up my as all the time. He chooses to go with me and do things with me everywhere! I ask him some things cause I want to make sure he wants me, I ask what he’s doing cause maybe it’s something we can do together cause we don’t get 1 on 1 time with each other relaxing or doing something we enjoy. I love this man with all of my heart, I’ve done and continuously do lots of things for him and I do them all out of my love for him. I have no family or friends around here, he’s the only one I have in my life. I just feel unloved, unwanted, not cared for and I am so depressed I’ve thought about ending it all… we went to counseling for awhile but then we got to where we couldn’t go due to funds. Any advice on how to fix my marriage and my happiness?