Pregnant and needing advice

Is it really possible for just me to take care of a newborn and a 1 year old? I’m 28 weeks & my first son will be a year old on Sunday. But he was born premature so his adjusted age will then be almost 10 months. He’s also physically delayed due to having hypertonia so not yet sitting or really crawling. I have to get another c-section. I know I can’t lift my first son then. He’s currently 23lbs (no clue how my 2lb 6oz baby got so big) I’m a single mom. I want to do this on my own. I don’t really have a choice. But I’m afraid it won’t be possible. I don’t know if by being optimistic that I’m being unrealistic and therefore unprepared. There’s a good chance I can have this baby prematurely as well. Both of my babies have the same father but after we found out I was pregnant again he decided after a few days he would rather be a single dad to two kids instead of raising two kids with me. He only considered staying with me if I had an abortion. I knew my pregnancy would be high risk and I knew that I’m even now still processing my birth trauma from last year. But I didn’t have an abortion. I felt like I couldn’t give him that power over me. And I felt like maybe this was supposed to happen. But as I hit my 3rd trimester and things get scarier and scarier with hospital stays, multiple appointments a week and the realization of everything that’s happening I haven’t been able to be as positive about it. I‘m truly worried that no matter how badly I want to do this and how much I know I have to do this and how much love I have for both of my babies I am so worried that I’m not physically, emotionally or mentally able to do this. Is it even possible?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Pregnant and needing advice

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Its always possible. Where there is a will there is a way. You got this mama!

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Honey, your in your 3rd trimester…
You Can do this…
You need a plan and some help. So the dad wants to be a single parent then he won’t have a problem paying child support.
Do you have any family nearby?
Good friends who can help?
Little momma your in deep but we women can pull of miracles!
My Prayers go out to your and your Babies!:pray:t5::pray:t5::pray:t5::heart:

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My sons are 19 months apart. They are both C-section babies. My youngest son went to the NICU after birth, and they found out I was in afib after my delivery of him and I almost died and had to have a heart procedure the next day. As soon as my son was out of the nicu, my husband had to go back to work. It was me alone with a teenager who is no help, a 19-month-old, and a newborn. My husband works from 10:00 a.m. to midnight 6 days a week. So yes it is possible, you just go into survival mode. I don’t remember much of the first year because I was so busy, but we made it and my kids are happy and they are loved. I would definitely recommend therapy though, especially with your baby’s father leaving you, I’m sure that is traumatic and very hard to deal with, especially while pregnant. If you ever need someone to talk to that’s been in the situation, my inbox is always open. When you have little kids relying on you, you just do whatever it takes and don’t think twice about it.

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I don’t know you but I admire and respect you so much. It’s ok to need and ask for help but I have no doubt you can do this. It won’t be easy but you’ll get through. Wishing you all the best!

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Anything is possible. Don’t ever doubt that. Will it get frustrating? Yes. Is it gonna be hard work? Yes at times. But you chose to keep the baby so let’s make the best of it. Even though he’s choosing to end things between you guys hopefully he can still help you with the baby at times. I commend you, because what a scum giving you an ultimatum like that smh. Wish you the best and you got this!!! Trust me!! Think of the good and how strong this is gonna make you. Them babies are gonna love you so muchhhh

May God be with u and send the help u need,spiritually,physicall,emotionally and financialy…may there always be and extra pair of hands or to to not just help the babies but u too…in Jesus Name.,Amen

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You can do it mine where 11 months apart and premature it’s going to be hard but you can do it and take the father to court he needs to be accountable to best of luck to you you have the strength it’s inside

Possible not easy. Try to enlist a few friends and family to help you on a regular basis. This will allow you to sleep, run errands, take baby to doctors alone, do something fun with just your older child, whatever. Have a schedule such as friend A comes Tuesday from 1-5pm, cousin B comes Thursday from 9am-12pm, your sister comes Saturday from 10am-2pm. Then you know when you will have breaks even if you don’t leave but just get extra sleep.

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You got this. I’m the mama of 1 medically complex child and 1 special needs child. My advise prepare now. Make you home as easily accessible as possible. Use laundry baskets to keep in each room with all the essentials you will need. That way you don’t need to run all over to find things.

You got this. My boys were ten months apart. It’s busy but it’s possible! Goodluck

U got this. Get child support maybe your local DHS office can help with daycare or other things.

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It is possible. Will it be easy probably not. But mom’s are incredible creatures that always find a way for their babies and more than enough love

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You got this. You’d be surprised what moms can do. When you have second baby he’s going to have to step up even if that means sleeping on the couch. Major surgery. Also could save up and pay a sitter to come by. Also other family and parents. You got time so maybe talk to everyone and arrange stuff to have help. Set up a station next to the bed etc as well so you don’t have to walk around all the time.

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I took care of three on my own for six years….

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My youngest 2 are 13 months apart, both high risk, 3 months premi, then 1 month premi, now 7 and 6 and I’m on my own too but we’re all doing just fine. You got this mumma :two_hearts:

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I feel like there’s more to this story. You said you still haven’t processed your first pregnancies trauma. Do you think that might have a lot to do with how your husband felt? Maybe he was terrified of losing you? Especially since you said your current pregnancy is high risk.

Anyways, you won’t be able to physically do it all. Do you have a good support system? Maybe they can help out, besides the father of your kids being there (of course).

I wish you the best of luck. :black_heart:

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Do you have a family that can help for awhile ? You can totally do this. Arrange for child support immediately. DHS can help also WiC After birth do not lift more than 10 pounds for 6 weeks.

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Girl…You’ve got this :point_up: If God brought you to it,he will bring you through it…round up all the help you can get friends/family,it takes a village…Get yourself a good attorney and make sure your babies daddy pays for at least half of all expenses… take your vitamins and take care of yourself! Breathe,you’ve got this! I raised four children on my own,we had plenty of ups and downs,I can remember not wanting to think about the fact that four lives depended solely on me or I would get to overwhelmed, I just went one day at a time,that’s all you can do.,it was no where near easy, but I promise, it was totally worth it!the youngest is 19 now, still finding his way but they all are doing good,my oldest is a nurse practitioner, second a truck driver, 3rd works for electrical co. and just got married to a lady with a lil boy & bought a house…Best of wishes,One day at a time :rose:

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3 kids in 4 years, all csections(vertical) my hubby worked 12 hour nights for 6 years. You can do this! Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t

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My last 2 are 18 months apart. I had a csect. I took care of both babies from the time my son was 2 hours old. They took me to my room. Their father gave her to me & said she needs her diaper changed. She had been sitting in a wet dirty diaper for hours. So without feeling in my legs I changed her while holding my newborn. He left her with me. So I had both babies all night. My point is you manage to do what you need to. When it comes to your babies you are capable of things that seem impossible. It wasn’t easy. There were many times I wanted to quit. But we all survived.

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Your feelings are valid , you have the right to be scare, it’s not going to be easy but you can do it , and is Oky to ask for help if you need it , if your mom , grandma or a friend is close maybe they can help you until you recover from the c- section .
In the mind time get prepare as much as you can, try to keep your house clean and organize, have your hospital bag ready , try to have someone on call , ready to help when you are in labor etc .
I wish you the best of luck

God is blessing you with another beautiful miracle, of course you can do it , not alone but with God. Talk to God He will provide the support you need. Hugs.

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It is possible. It will be hard but as a mom of 4, I can tell you that they grow so fast and all of the hard moments will pass (you’ll have other hard moments as they get older but thats different lol) praying for you mama.
See if you can find a part time sitter or nanny and make your douche of an ex sperm donor pay for it.

I had a 15 month old, gave birth to twins 4 weeks early and the day before my 20th birthday. Their dad never woke up to help and worked long hours. It was just me taking care of them 24/7 maybe 2 hours of sleep a night. You can do this you have no choice really. Just take one day at a time. FYI I had to use a leash for my 15 month old while I had a car seat in each hand going to drs appointments. It helped keep her safe.

Yes, you can absolutely do it on your own

You got this momma! I had 4 kids in 4 years (twins and 2 singletons) dad was no help whatsoever! Left him when my youngest was 5, raised all 4 of my babies alone, including one who is special needs who is now 24 with a brain of a 7 year old, and ran my own child care from my home. It’s hard but not impossible! Now I’m the grandmother of 4 beautiful grand babies and still working pretty much 2 full time jobs

Stay strong file for child support too. Get it from day 1 for both of your kids. Mommas are strong. Emotionally hard at times but we brought these babies into this world. :heart::heart::heart:

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I didn’t need a c-section but my latest(3rd) pregnancy was high risk. My 2nd born was delivered at 22 weeks. She’s 5 now & special needs(like having another baby/toddler on top of my soon to be 5 month old). It’s hard, utterly exhausting. But they’re my sweet loves & we’ll get through this.

It isn’t fair but I believe you’ll make it. You’re a mom. We always find a way. :heart:

Mama…YOU GOT THIS. I am a single mom. I’m a mama of 8. Ages 16,14, 10,9,8,5,17 months and an 11day old. Days can be sooooo hard and you will doubt yourself and wonder how in the world will you make it through…but SOMEHOW, you WILL always find a way…It seems a weird thing for me to say but it is true. You find a routine that works for your family and you just do what you have to do and you make it through.:rose::rose:

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If you have any sisters , super close friend or an aunt or a parent . Someone you really trust . Ask them to come stay with you for a couple weeks . At least until nearly heal ?

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yes I Looked after two Kids All by myself For years before I met my now Parther. You have Got This! being a single parent is hard but honestly it’s all about routine. Don’t let anyone tell you can’t.

You can do.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
And after it’s all said and done. And you kids dad comes to his senses. Please remember the way he’s treated you.
Take time to heal.

You can’t safely lift anything heavier than baby for 6 wks after c section.
You’re going to have to have some help.

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You will be suprised of what you’ll be capable of trust me! Seems daunting now but you will find your rhythm, you got this :muscle:t3:

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U can do it I was high risk with 4 pregnancies n they are doing fine …don’t let that pos manipulate u to abort it …abort that pos out of ur life …

You will need help for the first few weeks or you will not heal properly. Do you have a friend, sister or mum handy to come and help. Sounds like you have an arse of an ex not sure he will be much help.

l get paid over $135 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $19431 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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It’s possible. You have to relax so you don’t make this pregnancy harder. It won’t be easy, but it’s been done before. Do you have a good friend or someone who can help you out for a couple of weeks? They won’t want you to lift much but the baby for six weeks. But you will do what you have to do. Your oldest baby will have to sleep in bed with you for a little bit because you can’t put him in his crib. And you’ll have to scrub him down at the bathroom sink because you won’t be able to lift him in and out of the tub. Again, it won’t be easy, but it’s doable. The bending will get to you. But it’s better than lifting. It will be a challenge for six weeks, but then you’ll do ok.

You got this. Just take it one step and day at a time . You will be fine. If you really need talk to your family and friends they should be able to help you out

If you truely don’t have family or friends then talk to social services about nursing assistance, tell your doctor or the social worker at the hospital where you will deliver, but also if possible make friends and call on any family you may have. You might get a lecture but that is better than being in a situation where you cannot safely care for your children or yourself. What are your plans for the one year old, taking him to the operating room with you? You don’t need platitudes you need help NOW!

If you have any family that will help you, contact them now so they can plan

l get paid over $135 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $19431 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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You can do this, I promise :purple_heart:

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YOU CAN DO IT ALONE, I promise :kissing_heart: :muscle:t3:

You got this momma :heart: you would be amazed at what your capable of when it comes to your babies! It’s okay to be nervous or afraid of the unknown but your stronger than you could even imagine.

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First stop stressing that’s most likely causing you to have these pregnancy problems breathe and just trust things will turn out ok let go of all the negative and just breathe please

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It’s very possible. You don’t know how strong you truly are until you get put to the test. I’m being tested as I have 3 children, the youngest has autism and is super attached to me as I am him. Currently 36 weeks pregnant with my 4th. I know I’m strong and I know God is on my side and I will be okay and get through anything that’s thrown my way. Keep positive and think positive and you will be surprised what you can conquer all by yourself. Good luck :heart:

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The fact you’re thinking so in depth about this shows how great of a mother you are. At times our lives will feel impossible to us, like there’s no way at all we can make it through. I promise though, you can and you will❤️.

Both of my babies were premature(32 & 35 weeks) due to me having PCOS and MTHFR. It is a scary feeling and nothing really helps settle it until birth. I was on suppositories and shots with my second though and I made it a few weeks further(almost to term☺️). I can say it’s a bit easier the second time around because you already know what to expect and what the worse/best case scenarios would be if the NICU is involved again.

Reach out to any family or programs that give assistance if/when you need it. Take it as easy as you can and stay well hydrated and well rested. Here’s to hoping you make it to at least term :heart::heart:.

He sounds like a real ass, ask friends, family for help

It’s freaking hard. But it is possible. Mine are 14 months apart, I have been tired for 6 years (since I got pregnant with the oldest). If I didn’t have my husband’s support I don’t know what I would’ve done. I had a bad delivery with my 2nd. I had ridiculous post partum depression and I have fibromyalgia. Omg the 1st year with both of them was overwhelming and exhausting :tired_face:. But we did it. And now that they are 4 and 5 (today is 4"s bday) it’s way easier. Still tiring, still have days of wtf. But it is the most rewarding thing ever

Contact a pregnancy resource center

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It’s possible. Women have been doing this since the dawn of time. You got this. :heart:

Anything is possible girl, your still young I believe you can do this.feel free to contact me if you need help with your children.good luck.

If you can’t get help when the new baby comes, you will need to set up your changing station on the floor or near the floor. You need one of those rubber chairs so that you can feed baby #1 without picking him up. You need to add an attachment to the bath or shower so that you can wash babies in a small basin in the shower or next to the tub without lifting them.

You may want to set up your mattress and baby #1’s mattress on the floor with towels, sheets, baby food, formula, everything you are going to need within easy reach.

It is very important that you follow doctor orders regarding lifting so you don’t get adhesions or a hernia.

If you are receiving support, contact the public agency and ask if there is any way to get assistance a couple of days a week.

You may want to explore counseling to help you get the issues you are facing out there and to try to get help before baby #2 arrives.

I hope the arrival of baby #2 goes well. You may want to discuss ways with your doctor to ensure you get a longer break between babies so that your body has a chance to heal and recover.

Plenty of women have 5+ kids single moms it is definitely possible