I have been in a relationship with the same man for 7 yrs. I have two adult kids and an elementary school girl, and my boyfriend has two older teenage boys. He had a horrible divorce 11 years ago and often says now that he does not want to repeat the horror he had in that marriage. At the beginning of our relationship, he spoke of wanting marriage before he retired. After retirement two years ago, he created his trust with a cousin and his siblings as the executors. I felt excluded and not important when I learned of his arrangements. He will be leaving our state for two weeks soon and leaving his boys in our home. I felt hurt again that he met with his sister to discuss what to do if something happens to him while he’s going. He didn’t want to tell me their discussion because I knew I would be upset. Yes, we are not married, and legally I have no say if something happens, but I feel like I’m being cheated and pushed aside when important matters happen. If he doesn’t make it back, he instructed his sister to clear the house and pay one more month rent and for me to figure out what I want to do. Am I wasting my time in this relationship? He says right now he does not trust that I won’t change, and he does not know if that will change. Am I justified to be upset about not being involved Or informed of final wishes?
I think, you should leave too. He has to many issues, and he is the problem, not you. Find a place of your own, make a life for you and your daughter, make new friends, basically, change people, places, and things in your life. He seems to have a self important attitude, so, just move on, it will get worse, if you stay, people don’t change, what you see, is what you get!
Sorry to say…however, what his arrangements are obviously does NOT include You or your child(ren). It’s apparent that he is only looking out for him himself and his own. What part aren’t you understanding when you yourself says that if anything happens to him, his sister is to pay 1 months rent and WHO KNOWS what you’re going to do? Please don’t blind yourself. It’s time to look out for you and your child(ren).
See if you can get counseling, if not I would break up with him. It might be the boot to the backside he needs. Make sure you are clear on the why of the break up. Write it down discuss with a trusted advisor not you buff who will only agree with you. You deserve better.
Not sure what you have done to breach his trust (if anything), but if there is no trust then there is no relationship. You and the kids do not deserve that. Stop allowing him to push you out and take yourself out. Don’t waste any more time on someone who doesnt trust you. He has made his opinion clear. Make it clear how much you value yourself.
Know your worth! Sorry to say but he’s only thinking of himself and not you at all. You deserve more!
I think you need to set yourself up for a break up. It just sounds like he doesn’t value you and doesn’t trust you, based on the arrangement he has made with other family members. I have 3 kids. 2 are with my husband and one is with an ex. My husband treats all 3 kids the same and is able to make decisions on all 3 kids if something were to happen to me. Your current partner doesn’t seem to even be taking your care into concern if something does happen to him. I would move out with your legal child and make a life for the two of you, without him. He just sounds inconsiderate and wants to care for everyone else but you.
Leave don’t walk run! What an ass. You live together, you care for his kids, you’ve been together 7 years and he treats you like a date. Why are you with an ass? If he said you would have only one month of rent if something happens, then he does not see any value to having you there except to be the adult in the house with his teenagers when he’s gone in my opinion. Why are you letting someone treat you like this? If he wants to know what you are going to do if something happens to him show him, MOVE ON! You can not allow your self to be treated like you have no worth. You are teaching that to his and your children, that it is ok to treat someone you are in a long term relationship so poorly and disrespectful. You are obviously not a priority to him stop letting him be a priority to you, kids learn by example you have a responsibility to show your child at home that this is not ok.
Sounds like he thinks of you as a roommate/nanny not a partner. Time to sit down with him and tell him your feelings. Prepare for a breakup. If he doesn’t trust you there’s no relationship there.
Shoot. That’s your cue to leave and never look back. Take your babies and find a home for yourself. You deserve to be happy and it’s obviously not with this man that you’ve wasted your time on. Move on and pursue your happiness. Don’t waste your breath on matters that don’t concern you. Let them handle whatever happen. Take your free ticket outta there asap. It’ll only get worst.
Get counseling and when he leaves I would also leave but with all your belongings. Because it sounds to me as if he is not in ot for the long haul, that he is only using you until something better comes along or until he doesn’t need you
While he’s gone; take the kids to his sister’s. And move out. Run. You’re his convenience.
I’d leave that relationship. He obviously doesn’t trust you!
Don’t date until your youngest is 18. Focus on your children.
Mardy-Nancy Teigland, you mean take his kids to his sister’s? Good idea. Then like you said, get her children and her stuff and LEAVE!
He’s sending you the message loud and clear. It’s time to quit wasting time.
Sound Like His Going To Be A Missing Person Or A Died Person Honey Pack Your Bags Right Damn Now!!!
Are you kidding? This should speak volumes to you
Get the f out life to short!
If he doesnt make it back?
Where on earth is he going???