Screen time and kids: Advice?

How much screen time do you give your kids? My husband and I are in a disagreement at the moment. These are not his biological kids but I am trying to become accustomed to having him help me decide parenting things with them. My kids go to school all day, when they come home from school, they go straight outside to play with their friends. After they come in, they eat dinner, take a shower, do homework and then it’s about 6:30 pm. At this point, I let them play on their phones or video games the rest of the night. They get off of them just fine and go straight to bed with no issues. They are 11, 10 and 8. He thinks they should only get 30 mins of screen time a night during the school weel, but I do not see an issue with our current arrangement. They play outside and don’t just sit on video games. But I just want to see what others do and try to see things from his point of view. Thank you


One thing for sure they shouldn’t be on them before going to bed…And your husband is now a stepfather, he has rights!


My step kids are on them the minute they come home from school till they go to bed and that’s not my choice I limit them to maybe an hr if that and they don’t like me but their dad let’s them on them all the time anytime they want for as long as they want

Mine came home from school, had a snack, did thier homework{no tv or anything until homework and chores were done} Then they could play until dinner and then baths and cleaning rooms up and choosing what to wear next day !

You could have15 mins to discuss their day and then they watch television to about 8.30 or 8.45

Let them continue doing what they’re doing until/unless it becomes an issue in any way. If it does, make that the first restriction put in place.


Google it and read different articles according to their ages. Then take a little time off of that for good measure. I’m not sure they have too many long term studies that show the damage accurately.

Our kiddos have a checklist after school made up of 1 household chore, their homework, picking up their room, 30 minutes of fresh air outside, and 30 minutes of exercise. If they get their stuff done they can use electronics. The electronics are shut off an hour before bed. That last hour is spent drawing, reading, coloring, journaling… Anything relaxing and screen free.
That works for us because it’s rare that they find the time for electronics during the week because their other activities will typically spark an interest and then they run out of time.
You and your hubby have to do what’s best for your family!

Keep doing what your doing. The kids are not glued to them at all times like most CHILDREN. As long as they are getting homework done chores ect and going to bed at a decent time not affecting school what’s the big deal.


What is his replacement activity?

It’s the start to addictive personality traits. Limit to less than an hour per day is ideal.

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We limit our daughter to 1.5 hours a day, this includes tv, and all time on ipad(including her educational work)

If there is no problem with the current situation why is he wanting to change it? It feels like he wants to have control for control sake. I understand working together as parents, and it’s great you are trying to do that but I don’t understand this situation when you stated there’s no issue with the status quo just a disagreement with him.


I think you’re schedule is great. And if they are doing good in school than there is no problem. 30 min isnt really a long enough time for them to enjoy their games. My sons are older and I ler them play for 2 hrs a night. But that’s because they do good in school and they do their chores.

My kids get to watch till bedtime as long as all their after school duties and reading for 45 minutes ate done. They go straight to sleep no problems. If they do all they have to and ate out of time then no screen time and it works. Dont let strangers tell you how to parent your children at all. But if you are looking for him to step into the step parent role and help out then its up to you to come to a common ground on what is acceptable for both of you. Good luck.

My first thought is what time do they go to bed so we know how much time they are using the phone or playing video games.

Honestly whatever works for your kids do it. Everyone is different when it comes to this subject. It’s not like they are inside on them 24/7. They do other stuff too.

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Where is family time/talk time/cuddle time? There must be some uninterrupted person to person time. No tv, no cellphone/tablet, no music. Just parents and children. I cuddle my little one, 3, we talk about his day, his worries, his highlights, what he would like to eat the next day, what he watched on tv, about his interaction with daddy and brother and me, about his toys (i know them by name) and then it kissing his toes and making him giggle as he has a bit of titty and he falls asleep. My 11y old son chats to me, we laugh, we discuss, and once the little one is asleep-he gets a chance for his cuddle. They both get screen time and i tell them when they have reached their limits. More importantly in our home is time WITH our babies. My hubby also plays with them. Make what is important to your children become important to you. Your children will feel important, heard and loved. I get down there and play cars, sometimes Im the petrol attendant, sometimes shopkeeper, sometimes customer in restaurant… They love it. Connection on a human level must be regular and meaningful.

Discuss why he wants to limit the time. You could definitely compromise. One hour of screen time and then read.

I have the same kind of problem but it is with his children they do not do any playing outside they are home-schooled when they come from their mothers on the weekends they don’t want to do nothing but sit around and whine and cry cuz they want to play video games while my five children play outside it’s next to the normal time go to regular public School if they freaking used to interact with my children when they are here for their weekend visits

Sounds fine to me! As long as they are not glued to the tv and they do not throw fits when it’s time to turn it off then I don’t see a problem at all!

Keep doing what you are doing. I speak with 5 teenagers and a 4 year old. It’s not hurting a thing. Shot most adults are glued to

Your kids your decision, maybe find a middle ground and decide on something to do in place of screen time

Depends on what time bed time is. If they’re on electronics till like 9 or 10 then he is right. That’s ridiculous. If we’re talking like 730 or maybe 8 not the biggest deal. However, his feelings need to be considered and a negotiation needs to be made if he is helping to raise and providing for them. Plain and simple you don’t get to have it both ways. My 3 year old gets zero screen time ever and she’s much better for it. As far as tv she watches maybe 30min broken into morning before daycare and then at night during or after dinner.

Half an hours not long but I would sit them down and do home work after school then play with friends

Keep it as it is, or you could even turn it all off 20 mins/half hr before actual sleep time so they can read and settle before they close their eyes

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My children have always enjoyed such luxury on weekends only. The same with sweets. I find parents that allow this everyday are avoiding spending real 121 time with their children. Playing ‘outside’ everyday??:flushed: The streets will raise them. I am with your partner on this one. It is to much…

I run pretty much same way with mine. My hubby bitches too but he does it from in front of his PC so I kinda just ignore him :woman_shrugging:

Not many children play
Out side anymore you are
Lucky youse do
Merry christmas

Do get home at noon??? How the heck do you get all that done by 6:30?

You have the right system going. If outside play and homework are done before hand, and they don’t give you any issue about getting off and going to bed there is no reason to limit it to 30 mins. Honestly that isn’t much time at all if they are 0lahing a video game, you can’t do much in 30 mins…My daughter is allowed as much screw time as she wants, she rarely wants to be on any electronics and always does homework the min sh3s home before even outside play so she’s fresh as long as she asked to turn it on before hand just so I know shes on something. And I monitor her internet use big time. My son. He is on struck limits cuz he doesn’t want to do Anything else but be on some kind of electronic anything…so he gets no more than 1 hour a day and has no access to internet because he likes to do stuff he’s not supposed to. And no it wasn’t porn or anything that bad, he just doesn’t follow the rule. We only allow them to watch you tubbers we have previously screened and he likes to search and watch new things we haven’t approved gets so he lost the right to internet all together…You sound like you have a health routine so no bed to change it up

The only time I limit screen time is when there are respect issues and attitude problems. Those usually come from having way too much screen time so the solution is to take it away or shorten it. I’ve done both. If the kids are respectful when asked to do something (for example) then in my opinion they have earned that freedom

They sound like great well balanced kids. Keep doing what you’re doing. :+1:

I think that’s fine. It’s not an all day thing they have a schedule I think your right.

I only do 30 minutes for my kids but thats because 6 of them share 2 phones to play games. I have 9

How much time are they actually on them?

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My son falls asleep with the tv on… however he gets 1 he a day of video games during school week

I see no issue with your schedule. It’s not all they do, and they seem to have no problem when it’s time to be done with them.


My kids TV is on all the time in his room and I’m always watching TV in the living room. He basically is playing in front of a TV all the time. He’s not always watching it but it’s always on in the background.


My daughter is almost 3 and gets about 30-45 min after her bath

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If theres no issue with your current arrangement why take it away from they that would be like punishing them for no reason


What time is bed time my sons tablet and phone have sleep mode so from 9pm to 7am he cannot use his electronics for anything other than preselected calls like me or dad


My children are about the same age and we do not do Electronics every day. we have board games, arts and crafts and other things to do but our electronics are for the weekend unless we’re watching a movie together as a family


I think what you’re doing is completely fine. Tbh my almost one year old watches learning programs and plays with his toys all day while I do housework etc. But ofc I take breaks and play with him myself and we cuddle. So I don’t think it’s too bad.

If they are doing fine in school I don’t see an issue with that time

We do an hour on school days and 2 hours on days off.
However, if I just need them to be quiet and out of my hair I let them go longer :joy:


I think it’s a great arrangement… They get their stuff done they are out playing!! Good work mama


AAP’s recommendation is one hour

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My kids get an hour a day, but if your kids are not giving you any issues I don’t see any harm in what you are already doing.

I see no issue with what you’re already doing.

My kids are on there’s a lot longer then that :woman_facepalming::woman_shrugging:

I don’t agree with your method. I think if you have to schedule a time for it and etc they shouldn’t have it. I also think it should be a weekend thing not every day. I’m in the minority but that’s how I feel.

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It sounds like you have a good , fair plan.


If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

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I think the arrangement you have now is perfectly fine.

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That’s exactly what we do and I don’t see a problem :woman_shrugging:

We do not have wifi… nor game systems. Only my phone and my data minutes… we do not have cable only tv and dvds…

We do one movie (2 hours) a day… the rest of thetime we play outside… board games… crafts… READ… work… school… etc… theres absolutely no reason for a tv to be on all day…

Homework should be done immediately after school… no later so the info is still fresh in their heads… never before bed as they will prolong it to stay up later.

There’s nothing wrong with either method. I guess it depends how long the kids are on their video games/ electronic devices before they go to bed though.
Scientist do recommend having a 30 minute down time from all electronics before going to bed for optimal sleep. I guess you could use that to meet your partner in the middle and encourage your kids to read a book or something similar before bed.

As long as they’re getting outside to play, homework and any chores are done, and bathtime goes ok, and they get off devices when you say bedtime I don’t see a problem with them being on them.

As long as they are behaving, doing schoolwork, chores, etc then I dont see a problem with screentime.

As long as theyre outside and hetting homework done, I wouldnt change it

I think it’s ok. I’m not the perfect parent regarding my kids screen time. If they can disconnect and go to bed when asked, they’ve done their homework already too, like you mentioned, then I see no issue. My 15 year old uses her phone and/or TV whenever she wants but knows when it’s time for a break, studies, does her homework and has a 4.3 GPA. She’s very responsible and her electronics don’t interfere with her priorities. My son loves his video games WAY too much and I have to make him get off and limit his screen time on occasion. I think it all depends on the kid. If electronics rule their lives and they can’t do without it, then too much is not a good idea for them. If they are responsible and still keep priorities straight, then I don’t see it as a problem.

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Sounds like maybe he is just looking for a place to assert himself (not in a negative way). Maybe point out that the arrangement you have is working and altering it would be like punishment. Change the direction, for example, sleepovers. What is a good age to start allowing them. Expectations to earn the privilege. Things like that.

I personally see nothing wrong with what your doing

I don’t see a problem with it. My daughter actually plays on her ipad a lot more and still reads a lot and plays outside with the dogs sometimes. There’s not alot of kids her age in our neighborhood and she’s 9 and an only child at least until March, LOL. Her school doesn’t do homework and she’s top of her class. Now if her grades ever drop or she starts misbehaving they we cut out screen time.

We try and keep it at 30-45 mins

Sounds great to me! Honestly video games kept me out of trouble growing up.

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I think you got a perfect system.


We have never limited screen time. “Screens” are creating our future. There has be time outside, and other activities of course but I never want to limit my child on something that will likely be a huge part of their future career. I have 2 older kids who are 12 and 13. My 12yo wants to design new technology, and improve existing technology, and my 13yo wants to be an international photographer and journalist. As long as it dowsnt become an unhealthy addiction, limiting screen time isnt necessary.

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it


We do bedtime at 730 here so not much help but we let the kids play after homework is done until it’s time for baths and bed

You are asking him to help you parent but not even compromising. Honestly I would try to help or parent since you wont at least talk about it with him.

I only do 30 mins if she my 8 yr old is misbehaving otherwise she gets as much free time as she wants as long as homework & chores are done

I limit my kids to 2 hours before bed, they don’t have friends come over so it is harder for them to be worn out and ready to sleep.

My kids (3 and 7) watch a episode of a show after school (Mickey mouse clubhouse or other kid show). Then it’s homework and play time til dinner, followed immediately with bath. Then more play time, followed by 1 hour of kid shows before bed. Weekends and car rides they get more screen time.

Unfortunately, nowadays playing with their phone is like back than when we played outside.

I think it’s working for you… I’d stick with it. They’re not arguing, they know they can have them tomorrow at the same time. They are still playing outside so they’re not sitting around.


More screen time in the winter is kind of the norm in a lot of places (espicially up north)
As long as they are doing everything they need to during the day (chores, homework, hygiene) i don’t see a problem with how it is.
It is isn’t broken, no point in trying ti fix it. Plus, idk how your kids are but it sounds like it has been this way for awhile. Changing it now could just cause more of a problem and that is the last thing every one wants at the end of a day

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30 to 45 min sounds reasonable

We limit to 30 min max on each type of screen like- 30 min games 30 min tv (phones are for calling and texting not games and videos) during school week and hour gaming and 1 movie during weekend…

If their homework and chores are done, let them be.
Personally I like my kids to have 10-15min before bed without screentime so it gets them ready for bed.
So my kids either have the option of doing a puzzle, read a book, draw etc, but that’s what works for us!

You just do what works with your family if that system works then who cares.

Everyone parents differently.
The only time I would limit screen time is it they misbehave before bed or during the day.


You’re doing just fine. We have the same kind of arrangement around here. Just because their tv is on doesn’t mean they’re not playing.

None they are 6,4 and 2 we survived with out them and I’m not putting up with the arguments and it being broken there isn’t even one in the house

I’m hoping when my son goes to school only allowing technology on the weekend.

My son is 6. He has severe ADHD. So we try to limit screen time. However we use an economy reward system with him. If he has the tickets he can pay to play. It costs 30 for 30 minutes. So if he has 60 he can pay for an hour ect. The… compromise is that he only has games that serve a purpose (reading, math, following directions, remembering sequences) and because he usually plays before bed the last 10-15 minutes he plays solitaire to wind down from the more exciting games.

Perhaps you can make a similar compromise? Maybe after 30 minutes they switch to a game that has an educational component?

I would also look at…maybe he feels like more time should be spent as a family? So maybe one night a week set something up specifically for family time?

What time is bed time? If they dont make an issue out of it when its time to get off then let them be, i feel like he just wants some sort of control

Why punish kids who are respecting their rules? It seems unreasonable for him to try and take their screen time like that for no reason? That would be more on a punishment and could turn into resentment.


How much does he get?


I don’t see any problem with that! … if he wants them to have 30 mins of screen time I’d try telling him fine he only gets 30 mins of screen time see how he likes it! Kids are just little adults

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My kids didn’t get much TV time when they were young. After everything was done, …we sat down & read stories before bed. As they got to read, they read to me. And they got a little older just talk.

Just depends how long “the rest of the night” is. If you’re talking about an hour or two then yeah I don’t see a problem with it. If they’re up all night playing video games etc then that’s not healthy at all.

Let them continue with the way they are doing it. My granddaughters get half an hour before bed.

We ususly limit it to an hour at a time 30 minutes doesnt really seem like much time when ur playing a game or what ever. However limiting screen time a bit before bed can be beinifcal.

I say if they are current on all school work and chores and they will put them down when asked then no issue I would add a 30 minute read time in the evening outside of the electronic data . Books , magazines, comics . If they have good grades it’s all good . If they need to bring a few grades up maybe somemore study time .

My 8 year old plays on his iPhone as much as he wants. He knows when i say it’s bedtime to turn it off. My 2 year old keeps his iPad on whenever he’s here but 95% off the time he’s not even paying attention to it. If it becomes an issue then I’ll address it but until then when his homework is complete he can watch it. We don’t have the see schedule everyday due to my job & he doesn’t have chores. But also remember that everything works differently for everyone.

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I think that if you were still a single parent, you could continue with your way if it works for you and your kids. Unfortunately, now that you’re not you have to compromise. You can’t expect a man (no matter how much you love each other) to not have a role in parenting but have to assume the financial burden of children. I’m only saying this from experience, after my 2 year olds father left because I refused to let him parent my 11 and 12 year old. It’s not healthy for the kids because they will never respect him if you don’t respect him enough to compromise even a little. Good luck!

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My kids have more than 30 mins a night during the school week and we have no issues. I think that if theres no issues he should just leave it alone. Not to say he shouldnt have a say in making rules for the kids my current husband is 4/5 of my kids stepdad nd so he helps make rules/ decisions I usually have the final say but I only really use that if what he is doing is too much type thing if that makes sense. But seriously if they are already doing it and it sounds like a decent schedule to me I dont see the issue at all other than he sounds like hed like maybe a little more control and no that doesnt mean hes controlling it’s more of like a establishing his place? Idk anyways but if you dont have a problem with it really you could do it too. Even if he was their bio dad this could still be an “issue”. But no one really has the perfect answer it’s up to you and him to decide what’s best for you guys. Nd as maybe bad as this could sound you do in the end have the final say because they are your kids and you know what works best for them

I think thats perfect what they do now. Is he going to spend time with them and keep them entertained in that xtra time they have nothing else to do?

Do your research. It’s really a preference thing but the science that’s available out there supports your husband. Anything over 2 hours is quite damaging to their brain chemistry really. I wasn’t too big on limiting them for a long time but once I started reading source after source all against it and actually seeing what the damage can be and then once I noticed it in my own children already, it was a game changer for us.


I have an app called “family link” from google play store. You can set time limits on games/movie apps, have a bed time and a morning time (which means the device turns off at night and they can’t get on it until a specific time in the morning) it also shows location, you can give bonus time for chores they do around the house, they need your approval to install games/apps. Have attatched photos in comments