No they should show respect but not forced to call someone. Mom or dad just like making them kiss gma or gpa good bye if they don’t want to fine you’re just trying to my your self fell better its about the child conferred not the adults
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My 4 year old step daughter calls me coco. Never once have i or anyone else asked or encouraged her to call me any variation of mum. Though she did say to her mum the other day “mummy coco”. If that’s what she wants to call me, I’ll take it with the biggest grin on my face, but her mum is her mum, and if I’m forever known as coco, I’m happy with that
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We always told my husband’s daughter she could call me whatever she felt comfortable with, which was my first name, her mom forced her to call her husband dad, she grew up resenting them both for that and many other reasons.
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Nope, never forced. Allow the child to call you it if they feel it. The child defines the relationship with the step parent, they don’t actually have to see their parents partner as a parental figure. Maybe they just see them as a mentor? Or something even less.
I’ve been a step parent and letting them decide how they see me has worked. They have my unconditional love and support, and they know it, regardless if I am a Mother figure in their heart or not.
I also was forced as a child to call my step mother Mom. And to this day I absolutely resent it. It took away my choice, forced someone into a role for me that I wasn’t ready or wanting for.
And as a biological Mother, if my kids felt like calling another woman Mom, in their hearts. I’d be more than happy they have such love in their lives. But If they were forced to? Hell hath no fury like a momma defending her babies.
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No, if biological mom is active in child’s life they can call step mom by their name. Same if it was other way around with step dad
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I think you should let your step child call whatever they feel comfortable doing so. I’ve been in my step daughters life since she was around 6 and she and I are comfortable with her calling me by name. I have a step dad whom I refer to both by name and papa. Its whatever works within your family not someone else’s.
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Surely this should be up to the children child as to what they call their step parent with no influence from anyone else.
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I can’t call my step dad dad it just feels wrong for me I live him to death and he has been amazing but I could never bring myself to call him that
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I would be devastated if my kids called anyone else mum… but would be fine with a special nickname.
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Only if the child feels comfortable. That relationship might not be there yet for the child. You should never force a child to acknowledge an adult as something other than what they are comfortable with. Just because they play the part, doesn’t mean they are entitled to the title. My step father gave me shit for a long time because I wasn’t comfortable calling him Dad in the time frame he thought was appropriate for him.
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NO! A child should never be forced to call a Step-Parent mum or dad!
If a child is comfortable with that and has that relationship with the step-parent, amazing & encourage it.
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If it’s being used as a tool to cause the biological mother distress than it’s wrong I know people who have done that and it puts their kids in a really unfair and toxic position
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I’ve been a stepmom for about 7 years, officially 4 years when I married her dad. She was 2 at the time when we started dating. I always encouraged her to NOT call me mom even though it happened here and there. If mom wasn’t in the picture I would consider it. She calls me by my first name or a nickname like jazz. She still sees her mom but also doesnt have the best relationship. She often opens up to me instead of her parents if theres something bothering her. Our relationship is usually pretty good - getting to the age where she is finding her own personality and has her own thoughts so it can be battle some days. She is now 9 and I also now have my own daughter who is 18 months.
Forced? No. Encouraged? Sure. I personally think it would be best to allow the child to call her whatever makes both of them feel most comfortable with. Regardless of the bio mom’s feelings, the child now has two mothers and should treat both with motherly respect.
I think it depends on the individual family. My granddaughter calls her step mom by her name. But she was involved with her bio mom. But now she has a daughter and she calls her step mom mama and her special name she gave her. In the world we live in today it takes village to help raise kids. But that person needs to treat the child like his or her own. Love and respect is the the key words.
I believe it’s up to the child. I call my step mom, mom or momma. But she was the one raising me when my bio mom couldn’t. And now that my bio mom is better and even when we were kids she always supported what we wanted. It never was anything against. Nothing wrong with having more than one mom or dad. 
Never force anything on a child…. They will do what feels right to them. If both women really want what’s truly best for the child then it will work itself out. Just be mindful of what you say about each other in the child’s presence because she will pick up on that as well.
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I think the child should call stepparents what they feel comfortable with
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No if the mom is in the child’s life there is no need for it. I had three step children who were 15 4 and 2 when I met their dad and they called me by my name 36 years later and we all get along fine . They do however allow me to be called grandma by their children and their real grandma is called mini.
Forced never encouraged is iffy
My bonus daughter (10) has been calling me mom for 2 years she started doing ut on her own her bio mom only came back into her life like 9 months ago and she stopped calling me mom until her mom started canceling visits and she started calling me mom again…
It’s what the chd feels comfortable with. It’s not up to parents It’s up to that little girls heart
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My step daughter calls me Jessie or dad. Which ever she chooses. I’ve never made her call me mom or dad or anything of the sort. When my wife and I first got together I would encourage her daughter not to call me mom or dad just Jessie incase things didn’t work out. My daughter has the choice of what she calls me and it will forever stay that way. Also she calls me dad and her mom mom of course but her sperm donor is not in the picture hasn’t been her whole life. My wife and I are her influences.
Whatever he/she is comfortable calling her. I have been in my step daughters life since she was 5years old. And have never forced or told her she has to call me mom. So she calls me by my first name, she’ll call me mom on a rare occasion, but other than that she calls me Holly. And I’m okay with that, it has always been about what she’s comfortable with. Her mom and I are super close, consider her one of my best friends, so if my stepdaughter would want to call me mom, I know she wouldn’t mind.
My daughter has called my husband daddy/dad for as long as him and I have been together, but he also came into our lives when she was a year in a half, so he is the only father figure she has ever known.
I don’t believe a child should ever be forced to call a step parent anything. I’ve had 2 step children. One called me momma and his mom mommy he was not even 2 yet when his dad and I got together and was almost 4 when we split. I have a step daughter now that calls me by my name and I am perfectly okay with that. My children call my husband by his name. Occasionally they call him dad. My two youngest lost their dad almost 4 yrs ago so when they talk to people they tell them daddy is in heaven but they got a bonus dad. My oldest 2 their dad isn’t involved at all. My 12 yr old calls him dad my 11 yr old calls him by his name. My son calls him by his name as well. I feel the choice should always be left up to the child.
I’m a step child and I never called my step dad “dad”. My mom didn’t encourage, she let me decide. I personally wasn’t comfortable with it because that’s not my dad 
but I don’t believe a kid should be forced to call someone mom or dad. I wouldn’t force my kids to do it.
I think it’s up to the kid. If the kids gets comfortable enough to develop a nickname for their step parent on their own, then people should respect that. They should also respect that relationship even if they don’t agree. It’s about the kid, not the adults’ egos.
I think the child should make up his/her own decision. I never called my stepmother Mom.
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I never forced my kids to call their stepdad anything. I feel that’s up to the child. They love him just the same as their dad. As for me I call my stepdad by his name a nickname or dad. Lol. Whichever one flows out 
. And if he’s being a pain in the …. Deliberately, I call him by his full name like I do my kids. He gets a kick out of being scolded. Me bring 5” nothing.
Nope! My ex husband’s girlfriend (turned wife)had my kids calling her mom. The judge put her in her place. Now his new girlfriend has the grandchildren calling her grandma. Those names are reserved for parents and actual grandparents. I get she is in their life but you have to learn to stay in your lane and pick a different name. My daughter in law doesn’t see my view on it and it can be hurtful. She wouldn’t want the kids calling someone else mom.
My daughter has a step dad and she calls him by name never daddy she sees her dad u have one mum and one dad what they choose when they are older is up to them I would hate for her to call her step mum mummy or mama but she calls her by name too
Definitely not! Mine called their step dad dad but it was their choice. When I spoke concerning my husband I always said his name to them.
I believe children should create their own special words for people close to them, and certainly not have to call anyone mama unless they want to.
I’ve helped raise my stepdaughter since she had just turned 4. She’s now 15, I never had any bio kids but I would lay down my life for this girl in the blink of an eye, no hesitation. Her mother is very much in her life and I’d feel like I was disrespecting her mother if I even thought about encouraging her to call me “mom” or any variation of it. I’m Jenna and that’s okay.
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No its not OK to force …i was when I was 6 …didn’t understand why it didn’t feel right until I was much older …one of the many reasons I was resentful towards him
That is completely up to the child. If they feel close enough to their step mom then they should feel comfortable doing it. No one should force anyone to do anything.
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i wouldn’t care what they called me as long as it was respectful. if they felt close enough to call me mom i would feel honored
Bio mom should be momma. A child will decide what he or she is comfortable with calling a step mom but they should NEVER be forced to call her mom or momma under any circumstance unless you want the kid to resent you for the rest of their lives
All depends on the family dynamics. My DIL had 2 daughters when she married my son, he has always been called dad.
A child should never be forced to call the step mom mama. They have a mama. Maybe she could be called mama Beth or what ever her name is.
Not ok. Kid has a mom already and should be call the step mom they are comfortable with but never something they would call their own mom.
Forced or suggested? No. IF the child brings it up and wants to call her that way then yes. But forcing or suggesting it to a child may feel like you are imposing that person into a role that is already filled by the real mom and confuse the child. I have always called my stepmoms and stepdad by their first name or nickname
I call my stepmom “mom” or her name when need be. My mother is no longer in my life, and actually didn’t deserve to be called anything besides “Mother” or her name due to the abuse she put me and my sister through.
If the kid wants to, then let them. Don’t force it.
We let the kids know that it was ok to call us all mom if they choose too. I’m step mom- and bio mom is married to a woman. So they have two step moms. They still call both of us step moms by our name. The kids were 3 and 5 at the time. Five years later, it don’t bother me and I’m not going to force anything on them. Either was the other step mom.it was the kids choice. And bio mom was ok with it as well. We did talk to her about it before we talked to the kids.
Absolutely not. It should be the child’s choice if/when to call a stepparent mom or dad or some variation thereof. My daughter was forced to call her stepmom, mom, and I was mommy Lori. Messed up my daughter.
If the child is comfortable with the step mom and the feeling is mutual than I thinks it’s time to sit down and speak about it as a family … 4yr olds are smart and are at the age of curiosity and want to be included in everything including decisions … Its a Lack of respect for the child when one forces to oblige to a adults enforcement
No! I’m a step mom and I don’t ever expect my bonus daughter to call me mom. She has a mom and I’m not here to replace her just be an extra person to love her. My girls call my husband dad but they did that on their own and he is the only father figure they have all known. Their fathers are not present nor have they ever been. Neither one of us made them or encouraged them to call him dad. They did all on their own
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As a step-parent myself I never forced the children to call me anything. I expressed this to my s/o that as long as they aren’t being blatantly disrespectful they choose what they comfortable with calling me
To answers to this if the mother is in the daughters life and she has a relationship with her real mom she will never call another woman mama, now if the fathers and the relationship and he’s telling the child to call his new wife Mama then that’s wrong there’s other name for maybe a nickname or call a Miss Barbara or whatever but it’s inappropriate of course a child call another person by mama or Papa unless that’s how they feel about that person.
Don’t force anything. A child will give you a name. Usually it is the name they hear everyone else call you. My grandson calls his cousin’s grandmother “maw” because that is what her grands call her.
It should be whatever the child is comfortable with.
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Its the kids decision. Its the mothers responsibility to earn the child’s love and comfortability enough he or she feels okay with calling her mama.
I believe the child should call her whatever they are comfortable with calling her. My sons dad tried telling my son that he had to call his stepmom by her name and that hurt her feelings. I told my son you call her whatever you want and he chose to call her mama A since her first name starts with an A and I was perfectly fine with it.
I think it’s up to the kids really. If they don’t want to call her mum they won’t. I have always called my step mum by her name and it made no difference i still love her like another mother. 
They shouldn’t put pressure on the kid either just let the kid call her what feels most natural.
no unless they care to…sometimes that stepmother is more of a mother than their bio mom was…but not usually.A step-mother should never try to take the place of the mom. Maybe they could call her by the first name…till they fell more comfortable to call her other than that…In England they refer to mom as Mum …kinda nice…you might think of using that one for the step mother…as long as things are pleasant between mother and step mom…’
Up to the kiddos and what they feel comfortable with. My stepsons are 13 and 10 and although their bio mom is not a part of their life they still call me Diana but when they are speaking to friends or other people they say “My mom” which makes me feel great. The only complaint I have about them calling me by my first name is my daughter called me Diana for a period because thats what she always heard me being called.
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I am old, do not feel children should call an adult by their first name.
Maybe because my children were calling me mom or ma , my step children started calling me Ma. It was their choice
My granddaughter has two Dads. We did not force her to call either one Dad or Stepdad, or by their names. She chose what to call them both.
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Calling" mama" is a sign of respect and love .Never force it on step daughter/step son when they are not ready yet Be good and probe to them that you are worth their love and respect…be gentle and kind.
Not forced ever should be whatever child wants to call them whatever comes natural my grandkids call me by name
Not forced. Im a step mom and I left it up to the child. They have a mom already.
My step son calls me mom every once in a blue it’s not forced nor encouraged but for the most part he calls me by my nick name. It’s not that deep to me
My stepfather would slap me because I refused to call him dad. I absolutely don’t agree with forcing it. My dad died when I was 4 months he had no respect for him or me by trying to force me to call him that.
I believe the children should forever call their own mother mom or mama…& call the stepmother by her name. I think they should be loyal to their REAL MOM first!!
No. Just no. A child should choose what they are comfortable with, end of story.
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Once my stepdaughter asked me ithat when she was around four years old. Her mom and me have the same name. I had just had a baby myself, her brother. I thought to myself, would I like my son calling someelse mom? No. So I told her to call me by my name.
Forced no. Encouraged maybe. But it depends on how long the step mum has been around, the type of relationship she had with the child, whether biological mum is involved, what her relationship with the child is like etc
Hi! I have been with my husband for 11 years and his boys were only 1 and 2 when I came into the picture. They were never thought or encouraged to call me mom but when we had a child together they wanted to know why sh referred to me as momma but they couldn’t. As I reflected on that question I realized that they didn’t know the difference. Yes their bio mom is and was in the picture but they saw me as a mother also and since I don’t see differences in my children I thought if they felt I deserved the name and had been with them for years. I don’t think a child should be forced to coerced into calling a step parent mom or dad though.
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The most important thing to consider is the child’s preference, if he or she is uncomfortable doing so, then it should not be forced nor encouraged.
My daughter I never forced her to call me dad she did it all on her own.
I think it should be up to the child to decide what they want to call their step-mom whatever the child feels comfortable with.
I’d never force my step-kids to call me mom. Bio mom present or not. If the kid likes to do it that’s one thing but I don’t think they should be forced to do so.
No child should be forced to call the step parents mom or dad. If they do make them do it the child will always hate the parents for making them to that. If you wait a while for the step parent to be in the child’s life it will come naturally. That is if the step parent treats the child right. This is coming from a adult that had step parents. My son called my husband by his first name for years. He had 2 brothers that would come over and play. There father was not in there life. They wanted to call my husband dad. I told them no because he wasn’t there dad. My son said he would be able to call his father , dad any more because it made the 2 boys cry. I told him it was alright to call him Bill. So that’s what my son did.
Never force a child! Let the child call the step mom by her name or whatever the child feels comfortable with since the bio mom is present in their life.
As a step mum - I have never nor will I force the kids to call me anything but my name. If they choose to that’s their choice but I won’t ask them to.
I had a step dad when I was three and my my remarried. At first I called him by his first name, and eventually one day just started calling him dad. My real dad was out of my life, and I suppose it felt natural. No one insisted on this…
Never!!! They have or had a mama and if the child ever decides to there should be no coaxing from the parents…
No one should ever “force” a child to acknowledge a step parent as mother or father. Especially when both parents are present. If the child decides that themselves then that’s a different story but for a parent to encourage it is a no from me. How would said person feel if the child started calling someone dada? Wouldn’t feel too nice.
I always called my steps by their first names. But then again I never felt the need to call them mom or dad.
Never forced! My girls were raised by myself and my husband whom has been with us since they were 3 and 5. (Now 19/17) They each chose to call him Dad at different times, never forced and we never asked them to. It should come naturally.
If your child is lucky enough and bless to get another parent that loves them like you do, you better get on you knees and be thankful. Let the child decide what to call that person because it will come from their heart with the love they have been shown. We don’t use the word step in our family, its disrespectful to the person that is loving my children like I do and we are great friends. My ex is a great guy but we are better friends then mates. My spouse and him get along great.
The child will call you what he/she will call you when they are ready …. They may call you by your 1st name if their older kids but the small one may start out that way but then ask for permission to call by a different name because it feels better n more natural… don’t stress about it they will make a special place for your name just as you have made for them in your life… this is the lite stuff 
Absolutely not. Mama or daddy is a name that can only be earned in those situations
Nope, certainly not. The child should be allowed to decide what she is called
Only if the ‘mom’ is gone. Personally I had stepmom… called her by her given name. She wasn’t my mom.
This happened to me. I was mommy and his stepmom was mama, he lived with my ex the majority of the time. Now that he’s 18, no 18 year old wants to call their mom mommy, so now he calls me “Crystal” … it’s heartbreaking for me and confusing for the child.
No that is not right. Support it in the sense that it is OKAY to if they want to but never force. My step daughter calls me her bonus mom. And says she has two moms. I told her I would never try to act or force her to call me her mother ever. If she ever wants to I’m totally okay with it. If not so be it. At this point she calls me bonus mom and I call her my bonus daughter.
I have a friend who her step children started calling her mama. They did not want to disrespect their mother so she had them start calling her mama chelsea. (Her first name is chelsea)
That’s a title reserved for a select few. Mother, Mom, Momma, Mommy, are for designation of a specific relationship. Step Mom can be referred to by her name. Or a nickname.
I wouldn’t force it. It may cause problems. They might call her “Mama” later. They’ll just need time
When my mama died and my dad remarried i called my stepmom “mom” but it didnt feel right so i called her by her first name
Never. She is not his mother. Come up with a cute other name. Mama is reserved for the mother. Steps can be anything else.
They should be offered to call them mom for their first name or just about anything else as long as it’s done respectfully!
My kids called me by my first name directly. Referred to me as their mom in conversation. I am a bonus mom.
Let the child to choose. Bio parents done something already wrong if the child is in the position to choose. Do not make it harder on the child
A child should never be forced to do anything they don’t want. Imo it should be up to the child what they want to call the step parent but don’t make them call them mom or dad if they aren’t comfortable with it
No absolutely not. My step dad tried to make me call him dad but maybe if he ACTED like a father then I would have. I hated him. Now my kids have a step dad and they are allowed to call him whatever they feel comfortable with. If it’s dad then cool! If it’s his name, cool!
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No, the child should call the step mom whatever they are comfortable with.
My wonderful step-mother said when we first met, "Now you can call me Sally, or Mam, or Mother but don’t say “HUH’, I would be honored to be called Mother but I will never try to take your Mother’s place”. I called my mother Mama so I eventually called her Mother and I came to love her very much, she was one of the best!
Let the child decide what THEY are comfortable with. Don’t push it!
I don’t think they should be forced or encouraged, if the child wants to then they will.
No you should let them decide on there own what they would like to call her. You should never push something like that on a child it’s not fair to them
No, no, and no. The child should be forced/encouraged to be respectful of their step parent, but not forced to label them something they are not - i.e. “mom”. Let the child choose what to call the step parent - as long as it’s respectful.