Should a child be forced to see the other parent? My husband and I split up about 6 months ago…when we were together he was not very present or interested in being a dad to our 10 year old daughter…we split custody because he wanted it and I just wanted things to be done and over so I didn’t fight it…she is supposed to go over there every two weeks and spend the weekend with him but she doesn’t want too…he has a new girlfriend she doesn’t like and she never really bonded with my husband…what should I do?
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You encourage her, you support her feelings while she struggles with the change and you bring her to therapy. If he wants to see her and if there’s no safety concerns then you still send her.
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If you have a custody agreement that was signed by a judge you can’t keep him from her. My daughter always says she doesn’t want to see her dad but I always encourage my daughter for every visit. Please don’t ever talk badly about her dad in front of her either. She has nothing to do with the divorce. If he really wants to be apart of her life then I would really encourage her to go. If you have court documents signed by a judge he can take you to court for that if you keep her from him on his weekends. Also if she is struggling I really suggest counseling for her. It’s helped my daughter a lot
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It is your job as her mother to encourage the relationship with her father and make it a positive experience. Sounds like you are very bitter. Don’t use your child as a weapon. As a woman and a mother, that is one of the lowest things you can do. Rise above the pettiness and put your daughter before yourself.
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Encourage her to. She needs counseling to help deal with her feelings. You come across super negative when talking about her father, I can only imagine what you’ve said to/in front of her.
Children need both parents.
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Way too soon for him to be introducing new people into her life she needs time to adjust. I say talk to him about it and if that doesnt help then go to courts/counselor so your daughter can let them know how she feels about it
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If it’s court ordered, she has to go unfortunately. If not Court ordered, then I wouldn’t force it
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I wouldn’t force her. I was in the same situation, except my ex put zero effort in even calling. 5 years went by with nothing. So on my sons 10th birthday, the man called, saying he got his shit together now after 5 years. Ya ok buddy. We’ll see. They talked for about a week and then nothing again. My son has chosen to not want anything to do with his bio dad, doesn’t even let me refer to him as his father. Only first name. I explained to my son if he’s choosing this, this is what has to happen. He had to take full responsibility of saying, “I’m sorry, I don’t want to talk right now or I don’t want to see you”. I explained to my oldest that I wasn’t allowed to say no because if my ex decided to take me back to court I didn’t want him to have anything against me. So my oldest took on that responsibility. That way, the “no’s” were coming from my son and not me. So if she can understand somewhat of what’s going on, and you explain to her that it’s court ordered, that she has to be honest with her dad. Communication goes such a long way even with kids.
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Explain that is her father’s time. There is not abuse so there zero cause for you to even suggest withholding his time. She 10. There should never even be an option for her to voice that she doesn’t want to go.
Encourage the relationship.
Do not talk negative about her father to her, that is 100% parental alienation.
If she is not, then you should have her in therapy.
Just because they don’t have a bond, as you say, does not mean he does not love her, and she love him.
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Until she’s 12, I believe, if it’s court ordered, you have to abide or he can take you to court and have it enforced. Once she’s 12 then I’d take it to court yourself and she can tell them what she wants, they still don’t have t side with her if he gives good reasons why he still wants to see her, if he pays child support on time and is present when he’s supposed to be. I would encourage her to try. And maybe seek some counselling for her! Or you could try having this conversation with your ex, tell him how she feels and see what he’s willing to do to try and help her not feel the way she feels?! Communication is key for the children in these situations!
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I feel like a broken record saying this but I know a lot of moms don’t know this… keep it out of court as much as you can with every fiber in your being. It’ll eat you alive and that’s not good for your kiddo. If possible try and compromise with dad, maybe try cutting back one weekend and adding just one on one time with them one or two days a week without the girlfriend present and reintroduce her slowly
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Keep encouraging her to go. Think of all the positive things she may have to look forward to but def find a way to get along bc this isn’t good for the kid. She should learn how to accept changes in the family and maybe step up into some therapy to get some executive functioning skills that may work best for your family. If her father and this new girl decide to have a child, then you guys will become a blended family and you would want your daughter to learn to get along, share and all that good stuff. And if not, atleast she would be in therapy for any personal issues she might develop over the years to come, hopefully not but not a bad idea. Good luck and best wishes!
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Is there a court order?? if so, she has to go…
If there is a court order her can hold you in contempt of court. BUT in my opinion you should never force your child to see someone the don’t want to. It’s kinda up to you if you can handle the consequences. Depending on what state you are in she is more than likely old enough for a judge to speak to her privately and consider her opinion.
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We all have to do things we don’t like. Unless she’s being abused in any way? Encourage her to spend time even if it’s just a few hours at a time. She probably feels this new girlfriend is stealing her daddy away from both of you? You have to show her, You are OK with her seeing her dad and his new girlfriend. Don’t make her feel like she’s betraying You by being friends with the new gf.
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6 months is still kind of new for a kid. She probably hasn’t adjusted. Encourage her to go and spend time with her dad and maybe even have a conversation with him about it. See if they can do things just then for a little bit. She probably doesn’t want to leave you alone so also make sure she knows you’ll be ok. My kids struggled with “leaving me alone “ for awhile.
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All these women staying yes she has to go is just appalling. I grew up in a divorced household I was around same age. I had a relationship with my dad and would go see him but then he met a woman who would do things (narcissistic things/ mentally abusive things) to my sister and I while my dad was at work and never really knew the extent of it cause every time we would reach out it backed fired on us as we would go to our mom and then it would just be a huge mess and fuel the fire even more to the point my sister and I shut up and took it. We were miserable and didn’t want to go. So even though I greatly agree the child needs counseling but support her decision… more times then not THERE IS A REASON WHY!
If it’s court ordered it’s mandatory. If not, he can easily take her next time and not return her to you if he’s BIO dad. Then you’ll need a order to get her back. Pick and chose your battles wisely. These seem like fixable problems. If something more serious is going on and that’s why she doesn’t want to go then it’s your obligation to fix that legally.
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Children need both parents. U encourage her to have a relationship with her father. Maybe some counseling will help.
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You have an agreement and she isn’t quite old enough to courts to be making that decision. He can file contempt of court and idk if you want to go through all that. Such a drawn out process. He wanted some time with her. Encourage her to try. If she still struggles I would look into therapy to help her process her feelings. While it’s not ideal foe the girlfriend and I know a lot of divorces get it written for them not to have contact with the child until a certain time frame but u less there aren’t any safety concerns legally she has to go. Let her know you hear her but Encourage her to try and see dad. Your feelings she knows you have may even be fueling her decision as well. This adjustment is very new to her and hard. There are therapists that deal with parents that have gone through a divorce.
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Hmm I don’t think the court is going 2 not make her go see her dad just because "she doesn’t want to " or because "she doesn’t like dad’s girlfriend " 
you agreed to the court order if you don’t follow it you will get it for keeping and enticing a minor child from their father.
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If Dad and new GF are not abusive towards her you need to be encouraging the visits. Especially if it hasn’t been a full year, she’s still adjusting. Otherwise you are alienating her from her other parent and it is a form of emotional abuse. Courts don’t like when that happens either and could flip and give him full. She’s never going to develop a bond if she’s not encouraged to spend time with him. The past is the past and now is now. Sometimes divorce helps men realize they want to connect and step up. Encourage it.
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I’d send her to therapy, but if she really doesn’t want to, do not force it. Work with what she wants and is comfortable with, maybe the girlfriend isn’t nice or welcoming to your daughter. Some people don’t want to be step parents and don’t treat their partners child with love, kindness, respect and understanding. Definitely send her to therapy though
Don’t force her to go. She’ll start to resent you for making her. My cousin did that with her daughter, she literally had to drag her out to the car and it was terrible. Just explain to dad that she doesn’t like the new girlfriend and if he’s any type of man who cares any amount about his daughter then he’ll figure something out.
You should really encourage!!! Im not saying force, but encourage, do not talk bad about the other parent, and dont tell child they shouldn’t see other parent, its very important that the children see both parents!!
I mean if you don’t the court will so I would try my hardest to help her cope with the change.
Yes they need both parents! And their families 
If you want to change things go back to court.
Let her decide at 12 years she can decide on her own
Follow the court order and give the dad his time.
If it’s court ordered then make every attempt but if no order then leave it be is my opinion
To everyone saying the mom needs to encourage her… no she doesn’t. It’s the fathers job is to establish a relationship with his kid. Stop enabling shitty parents, and if they want to be absent let them. Less stress.
I was that child at one time! My parents split when I was 5 (they had 3 children together, myself and 2 brothers) dad immediately remarried to a woman he was having an affair with and immediately started another family (having another 5 children with her). By the time I was 11-12 I refused to go to my dad’s I fought every visit and eventually mom stopped forcing me to go. When I went to dad’s I was immediately put in the role of taking care of my younger siblings from his second marriage. I was still a child myself I wanted to be with my friends, playing, reading my books etc not taking care of babies. Dad threw a fit to my grandmother saying mom was keeping me from him and my grandmother flat out told him why should she come to your house? You don’t spend time with her and your wife just expects her to take care of the kids who aren’t her responsibility.
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If it is court ordered, whether the kid wants to go or not they must go.
You should follow the court order until you can petition the court to get it changed.
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It’s court ordered they have to. You will be held in contempt. Keep a child away from their other parent in a court order continuously and you could lose custody.
As long as there is no abuse, you should encourage her to go. There is a big change happening but I would still encourage that relationship.
If it’s a court agreement you have to abide by it. If you don’t he can get you for contempt then he’ll get full custody.
You can put her in counseling. Maybe she will define why she doesn’t want to go. The counselor may take further steps.
You can also file to change the court order. Depending on what your states right to choose age is she may have a say in the order change.
I don’t see in any of the context provided where it seems like the mother has an issue or is bitter. It’s weird that so many people would disregard their child’s feelings. I get that there isn’t much to be done other than petitioning the court but like holy s I’d never want my kids to be in an uncomfortable situation. I suggest this mom seek advice in a different group that pertains strictly to matters of custody.
If it’s court ordered there’s nothing you can do
Sounds like your the one with the problem…send her.
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Yes. Children do not get to make decisions and they will continue to have a poor bond if you allow her to refuse to go, on top of giving her the impression that she is allowed to make adult decisions.
You have an agreement so you need to follow it for now. If your daughter is truly unhappy then go back to court and change the agreement to you have sole custody.