Should dad help?

So I am a SAHM with four kiddos (two of which have Autism & ADHD). I try to stay on top of all the chores but my mental health isn’t making that easy— I’ll admit that and I have some health issues like easily triggered back pain & this chest pain thing where the walls on my chest were inflamed. Should dad be expected to participate in upkeep of the home?

He works 25-35 hours a week and I am so grateful for that, but when he gets home at 10PM, he just plays his video game until around 3/4 AM (maybe even 5 in the morning!). I keep up with everyone’s doctors appointments, everyone dietary needs (textures mainly), and keep up with every day chores as well as I can. It’s five vs one at this point. I take care of the vehicle, the kids, the house, and even make his doctors appointments for him. I am getting really worn down and have told him as such. I am so stressed during the holidays already let alone the fact that there is a person in our lives who is making me stressed out enough my health is being effected… I’ve tried sitting down and talking to him, having him record a video of him saying he will do these things and then him still not doing it, and giving him the same energy back by not doing some of the things that I do for him. Nothing works. According to him, he should have to do nothing but work. Btw— all he does is whoop the kids when he is home. Doesn’t really take care of them/ change diapers, etc.
He will just let everything sit until I get so fed up with it, I do it. I am about at my wits end and have actually considered having him live somewhere else…

Am I overreacting? Am I the arse?