This is a hard one to answer. I always felt like the biological parent should do that , with the step parent in agreement. And , please, watch your kids. I had step fathers, whose intentions were not always so good.
1 Like
You already know the answer to this question!!! With 3 kids, I’m Sure you know, Nobody’s messing with your children!!! pERIOD!!!
He should be allowed to discipline them EXACTLY the same way that you do. Any devation of the disciplne methods you already use in your home can confuse and frustrate your kids.
3 Likes
If he cant discipline them then they won’t respect him and as your husband (their step dad now) he should be respected. If you only partially wanted him involved in their lives you shouldn’t have married him and live with him because that’s unfair to him. They’re tour life and now they are a big part of his
1 Like
No should leave it up to you the biological parent if there’s something that needs to be addressed
Be a team. That is part of being married. Let him do what is needed so the kids know that he is to be respected too.
1 Like
He needs to earn his respect back to his children .
Depends on what you mean by discipline and how old the kids are. Just be careful…my husband had joint custody and we didnt find out until way after the fact when his son finally opened up…but his former step dad had previously abused him…the mom allowed him to do whatever he pleased in regards to discipline. We now have full custody
I don’t agree entirely agree with step parent discipline. It’s the biological parents responsibility to make it clear to the kids to not mess with the step parent period! But in a situation where the children are small and bonded to them it’s a little different. That being said it’s also different if the child has behaviour issues, lacks boundaries etc my kids are under some pretty strict rules / guidelines not mess with my boyfriend /stepmom from me and their dad. But they’re older, well adjusted kids
Bio dad is not in the picture. If your husband stepped in and is taking care of them he has every right to discipline them. My 2 older kids were pretty much raised by my husband. He came into their lives at 3 and 2. He was allowed to discipline them. He never spanked them but he did put them in time out or ground them and have talks with them when they did something wrong. We also have a son together who was always disciplined in the same way as his siblings. They grew up to respect him as their father. They are now 18 and 16 and have nothing but respect for my husband for doing all that he has done for them.
3 Likes
Umm he’s their dad now so yes he should be allowed to discipline them. Obviously not beat them or water torture them but he’s the only dad they have. You married him. You shouldn’t have married a man you can’t trust with your children…
5 Likes
Everyone discipline different. I don’t let any man put a hand on my kid not their bio dad not step dad not granddad I once caused a family rift for an uncle swatting my toddlers butt men are too rough and too strong to put hands on kids. Besides that all parents should be a United front on discipline
If u want him to feed the kids and clothe then u gotta let him discipline them as well. He’s part of your team now so unless he is abusive I see no reason why he shouldn’t be a disciplinarian
4 Likes
It really bothers me that discipline is synonymous with physical harm to so many people
1 Like
As long as he does it like u u cant beat a man that is willing to help and u need help sometimes
1 Like
Allow him wiggle room. Like allow him to put them in time out and tell the kids that he is my equal so please respect him. When the child gets out of control he needs you to step in.
I am in the same predicament and was having the same feelings about my new partner. I think he should be allowed to discipline the kids as he is a part of the family, the provider. However if i think he is going a little to far with it then i will step in and say so. You trusted this man enough to marry him why not to help raise your children whom he has accepted as part of you?
Do what ever your comfortable with! But in my opinion if the father is absent your husband is the best father figure they are going to have and you should let him be a “father” too your kids that includes discipline. Now I’m a step mother, and I discipline my step kids but only to an extent. Like when my personal kids are bad the get a smack on the butt or hand. My step kids I dont physically discipline them. Just set boundaries your comfortable with!! Good luck!!!
1 Like
He needs to support you and y’all can discuss discipline but you should be the one to actually do it especially anything hands on
My husband is my daughter’s step dad, but hes actually her only dad.Hes 100% more of a dad than her biological one. Hes her dad. He disciplines her as her dad. We’re a team and we are her parents. Me and him, regardless of step.
1 Like
My husband disciplines my son we r a team and that’s his child too
They need discipline from both or the run wild, trust me my partner dosent do any discipline unless I’m at breaking point and the kids freaking listen to him, drives me nuts
1 Like
Im sorry but u married a man you didnt know?
If you marry someone you should know there going to be 100% in your kids life and become a parent or step parent.
If you are always taking the kids side and bashing him for discipling the kids he is never going to bond or have those kidd listen. There going to gwt away with everything.
If hes not abusing them though.
You both should have a discipline routine plan. So both of you are on same page.
Stop and breathe and allow him to step up to the plate .
If u spank then maybe tell him to do it after a routine. 1. Warning. 2. Time out or something taken away. 3. Spank
2 Likes
If the bio dad is some what still in the picture, the three of you should sit down and talk what is appropriate.
It really depends on so much more than what’s written in this post. Have the children has trauma? How old are the children? What kind of discipline?
How long have they known your now husband? How do they feel about your husband?
I would never ever allow anyone biological or not treat my kids with disrespect even during discipline. Loving, compassionate communication and clear boundaries with consistent natural consequences. No physical discipline, shaming, seclusion.
1 Like
I would give it a little time first, personally. If you just got married, then they are still getting used to each other. Wait until they bond a bit. Also, if stepdad isn’t used to having children, I don’t think he should be the one disciplining until he is.
I feel any adult should discipline! I mean would you have an issue with the teacher? With the daycare workers? My son knows his dad and I are first to listen and discipline, whoever watches him if we ain’t home does. A child should respect any adult period if they’re a safe person!
My step dad always disciplined us kids. If mom or dad spanked us he was allowed to as well. There fore I don’t see a problem with it 
1 Like
you married him so you trust him he s helping you or the kids would play the both of you
As long as he does it with love
Everyone has different parenting styles and this would have been a deal breaker prior to marriage, with a counseling session.
I think everyone around should be involved in discipline, if you’re the only one doing it, no one is reinforcing what is and isn’t acceptable.