We frequently have our nephew over our house for days/weeks at a time and when he has to go back home he has a screaming fit. Often yells “I don’t want to go to mommys”. My son is opposite. Cries if I leave. I’m just not sure if I should be 100% worried. His speech isn’t all there so it’s not like I can ask him if somethings going on. I’m not sure if he likes my house better because we have more room or if there’s something truly going on that’s going unnoticed.
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Alot of kids have this response to going or leaving places they enjoy for different reasons. I wouldn’t worry about it unless you actually see something or really have a bad feeling about his home situation
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I would take it seriously. My son does this sometimes, he’s 5. If we’re at my dads he will sometimes cry because he wants to stay at pawpaws, same thing with aunts, grandmas, uncle, etc. BUT he always wants to call and talk to me. And even if he cries it is not a full blown melt down. And he’s with me 95% of the time so I think it’s normal to want to visit with family, but if he’s with you a lengthy amount of time and is having meltdowns about going back to his mom, I’d be concerned.
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Why do you have him for weeks at a time? Do you have any other reason to suspect anything wrong? It could be that you’re less strict than mom, do/can afford more than mom or countless other reasons. I know you said his verbal skills are good yet. But ask him anyway. Kids have ways of showing us things. If you ask him & he hits you or something chances are you should be concerned.
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It could be because your home is more like home since he’s there more. Maybe because he gets attention and love and has someone to play with. How does his parents seem to you when you see them interact with the child? Loving, normal relationship or is it like they try to hard and child pulls away, type thing? How old is child? You didn’t mention why you have hime a lot or the kind of relationship he has with his parents? It’s ok to be concerened. Keep eyes and ears open, be more observant. Don’t accuse, just watch and listen. Maybe ask him why he doesn’t want to go home.
He could just be having more fun at aunties house
Not everything has to have a deeper meaning
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Depends on how old he is. If he’s not talking well he probably isn’t older than two. He shouldn’t be away from his mother that long. It’s very confusing when they are that young. My kids did this when they first started having visitation with their dad, my son was barely two and he would cry for his dad he didn’t want to come with me. They don’t understand why they’re being taken away from their loved one. I would say limit him spending the night with you to maybe two days. This mother needs to be with her child. If that’s the only reason to suspect anything I wouldn’t worry. He is probably very confused about where he is supposed to be.
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Ur house maybe more funs
What’s concerning is why you have him weeks at a time… Days at a time I could understand but weeks? If hes with you more than his own mom…he could start thinking that your home is his home… He could be looking at you like your his mom since it sounds like he’s with you way more than his mom.
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Why do you have him for weeks at a time?
How old is your nephew? My 2.5 year old nephew isn’t a big fan of leaving my house. I have him most days throughout the week and this is like a second home to him. Your nephew might just feel like your house is like another home to him and/or he doesn’t want to leave because he loves being with you.
He may see your home as his home maybe separation anxiety from you
It could just be he likes your house. My daughter sometimes cries and throws a temper tantrum when she comes to my house, but she’s not being abused. I just have stricter rules at my house.
What I find the most concerning is that his parents give him up for weeks or days at a time on a regular basis. That with him getting upset I’d start to wonder why. To me it does seem like something isn’t right because I couldn’t imagine letting my kiddos go like that. Trust your gut.
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If he is an only child he may like being at your house because he has a playmate , being an only child when you’re reallly young is lonesome
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Don’t know what to say… When I use to babysit ,the kids always wanted to stay at my house and not go home. So it’s hard to say. Does he ever have any bumps or bruises when he comes over?
Something is wrong and you need to find why.
It could be he gets decent meals at decent times, has structure at your home…he feels better taken care of…especially if child is around arguing or fighting at home they want to be else where
Definitely if u feel something is wrong it probably is. But before u freak out. My daughter never wants to go to her dads either…she says she just likes our home better. She feels more comfortable
I think he might just really enjoy being at your place. I used to cry when i had to leave my grandmas house or any of my aunts lol just cause i liked being there
My kid has this reaction, and I did too growing up. It’s more fun staying at someone else’s house.
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Is it not because he use to being as yours for days/weeks? Plus why would he been at your for weeks? That seems abit strange
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Separation anxiety and is attached to you. I wouldn’t think too too much of it, I hated going to my dads when I was a kid and would bawl my eyes out for hours sometimes to the point where my mom had to come pick me up. It had nothing to do with hating my dad or how he treated me cause he was an awesome dad, just love my mom more I guess! She’s my main guardian
Humans are hedonistic and they seek comfort. Obviously since he spends alot of time with you that is where he is most comfortable.
My daughter’s friend is like this. She hates going home. She lived with me for a year until i had to move put of town
If he’s the only child maybe he just doesn’t want to go home alone
My son never wants to be home and always at his cousins , he is the only child and I’m always working and studying so he feels lonely and has nobody to play with
Keep him as long as you can, the mere fact that his parents allow him to be away for weeks then he throws a tantrum when it’s time to leave is very alarming to me.
I sense danger
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If a kid is enjoying their selves they dont wanna go home.
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I would be concerned. I mean it’s a concern that the mom even allows him to come for weeks at a time, at such a young age. I couldn’t part with my baby for even a night, let alone a week. Be on heightened awareness🙏🏼
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Ask mom how he behaves when he has to leave her home and come to your house. Depending on the answer—tearful, excited, or neutral—it will give you more of the answer.
Try having rituals about going back to mom’s so that he can start to detach in stages: have “last meal”, a final fun activity (bonus if it’s always one of a very few fun things you only do when you’re saying goodbye), a final hygiene element like bath/teeth brushing/hand washing, potty sitting, and a final story. Always do things in the EXACT same order.
Maybe send him home with a surprise box he can only open at home (cookies, inexpensive toy, new socks) so he has something to look forward to after leaving your place.
Ask a women’s center, pediatrician, or other professional what signs to look for and what questions to ask the mom to subtly figure out if there’s anything going on at home.
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A mom being okay with leaving her child for that long, constantly, should of been your first hint my dear, plus the crying? I would be worried. I hope everything works out!!
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How old is he,
Is he an only child… Have you been over their and stayed to suss things out, could be nothing but could be something worth checking on…
My daughter used to do this when I picked her up from her grandma’s house. I can assure you she wasn’t being abused. But be vigilant still if you’re concerned.
Maybe he just likes it at yours because ur son is there to play with him DONT always assume the worst
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My daughter’s friend used to do this after coming over for a play date. She even used to say she wishes I was her mum so her and my daughter could be sisters. Her mum and dad are both really great parents though. I wouldn’t be so quick to think anything sinister. Keep an eye on him though.
Maybe have him draw a picture depicting the reason he does not want to return home?
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How old is the nephew a teenager? Then obviously. But my 17 month old was so mad when my fiance and I got back from 1 night away he wouldn’t look at us. So I would be concerned.
Have him draw a picture of why he doesn’t wanna go home
Depending on his age if hes really young I would be concerned
I would have a talk with his mother as well
If he’s an only child having your son to play with is a huge thing especially now with the lockdown. Pay attention to his reactions when you talk about stuff. You’ll figure it out hugs.
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Maybe he likes having your son to play with and the things you do at your house. But maybe play a game what is your favorite thing about home, the your house, what don’t you like about each place.
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I have been with my nephews since they were both born (4 almost 5, and 11) they love to be at my house because it’s not moms house and I take them for weeks and night and days at a time. Just because you take him for long doesn’t mean anything. Ask him to draw what he does at mommy’s house.
I would just keep your eye on things. Just in case.
How old is the child?
A lot of times that means their is abuse and/or neglect going on within the home. Try to sit down and ask him why he doesn’t want to go but do so without open ended questions so that they aren’t coaching him into saying anything that he wouldn’t have on his own. If he tells you something is up then I would take appropriate action with the PD and CPS
That’s a rough question, none of my nephews or nieces want to leave when it’s time. They all have fabulous homes.
I would not let him go home. Something is amiss
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He could just have a lot of fun at your house and is bored at his house. Or maybe you give him more attention than what he gets at home.
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Have him draw a picture of what home life is like with mom & than one with you than maybe yoy can get a picture of whats going on
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My daughter never wants to leave her grandparents but it not because there anything wrong at home she just enjoys being there. She likes the things she gets to do there. I wouldn’t worry to much unless you are seeing signs that there are other problems ( always dirty, underweight, fearful in situations that dont warrant that kind of response, injuries that are more then just kid accidents)
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You need to investigate thats a sign something is happening to them ive been there it’s very important you find out what
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When my son goes to my parents house he doesn’t like coming home but it also depends on if his sister goes with as well. If he’s by himself with my parents he would stay for weeks but if she goes he wants to come home. He will cry and throw fits(he’s 7) if he has to leave. We found that he just wants his alone time away from her, it’s not that he doesn’t want to be here. She is just a very overbearing 5 year that wants her brother’s attention and he’s not having it.
Why aren’t you asking how mother and not fb?
I would just follow up on any gut instincts but my son is the same way. He NEVER wants to go home & I can truthfully say I spoil him & he has a good home life so idk. Maybe he could just like y’alls company. My son is an only child at home so I think he gets bored
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My little one never wants to leave my sister’s house. But it’s cos she misses her cousins…so maybe it’s more of a social thing. My daughter is an only child at the mo so likes the company x
The fact that he doesn’t just spend one night but days and WEEKS at your house is a red flag to me that something is wrong at his house. Pair that with him not wanting to go back… id look into it.
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Why is he at your house for days or weeks at a time. What’s up with mom and dad ???
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My son screams when it’s time to come home because his grandparents let him do and eat whatever and don’t yell at him.
My son never wants to leave my sisters or my mom and dads. He is 5 and currently an only child and there are other kids to play with at their houses and he has a lot of fun.
Not necessarily, my daughter LOVES going to my parents house, she cries when I drop her off (because she doesnt want me to leave) and she cries when I bring her home (because she doesnt want to leave), it could just be where they enjoy themselves more, where they can get away with more, look out for signs if mistreatment. Always dirty, always starved, is hurt more than normal childhood playing accidents.
My daughter hates being anywhere but at home for too long going over to her grandparents anywhere after 4 hours she’s done wants to go home
He could be confused depending how old, spending weeks away from his family home is unusual, maybe he needs stability. I like the picture idea to help find out more.
I think there is cause to be concerned
How often is he over??
Felix Roberta what do you think?
I wouldn’t necessarily assume the worst. It’s also probably a sore subject for his mom too. I know it always made me sad when my kids would cry that they had to come home from spending the night somewhere else. Since he has someone to play with at your house and not his own that’s probably what’s going on. Trust your gut though.
Doesn’t mean something is wrong it could be she just enjoys being at your house. My grandkids all do this. Have you seen or heard anything else that would make you suspicious?
Take it seriously but keep in mind… A lot of kids like being other places, like families houses, because its not the norm and its not theirs. Its more of an ,adventure’. Id ask a few simple questions or even go sit for a few days when you can to see how he specifically acts at home. My nephew does this when he leaves our home, and i know beyond a doubt its just because were the aunt and uncle. Theres nothing bad going on in our situation. He just likes to be here because were not his norm.
My son is autistic and he’s 9 Everytime I tell him “it’s time to go to dad’s house” he throws a fit…and says “no mommy” he doesn’t speak that well and I was wondering the same. If there is something going on there he is afraid of…