My daughters father is in jail for a year. My daughter and my son went over to his moms for the weekend since I work a bar job and she let his new gf who hes been seeing for only a month or 2 pick my children up from her house and take them to the jail to see him. I have previously asked her not to allow this woman around my children because 1. Shes already asked my daughter to call her mom and 2. She slanders me to my children every chance she gets. Am I petty for taking the children out of grandmas life because she won’t respect my wishes and told the kids to lie to me about it.
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She has a copy of their Birth certificates? She needed that to get them in and they usually need you to sign a paper giving permission .
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And no, if grandma is going against your wishes when you have expressed them, AND telling your kids to lie about it, absolutely stop her from seeing them. She has zero respect for you
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Not at all , do what you see fit for your Children . Bye Bye Gramma !
either cut her off or supervise her vists with them untill she learns to respect the mother of her grandchildren
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Toxic is toxic family or not those are your children !!! Do what you gotta do for your children
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Grandparents can be toxic to your relationship with your child or they can be a blessing. If you feel she is toxic, don’t trust her, don’t rely on her, don’t use her, don’t excuse her. Gramma wants to see the kids, it’s on YOUR terms. Gf is out of line on the mommy-label.
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Let her see the for birthdays and Christmas and no other time
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No, I wouldn’t trust anyone who’s trying to convince my kids that it’s okay to lie to me. She couldn’t respect your boundaries with your kids so she doesn’t need to be around
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I wouldn’t let my kids go to the jail period…
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No. If anyone is disrespecting you, you have every right to keep them away! They’re yours. You do what you feel is right.
If you have asked her not to do something and continues to do it she needs to go. I once told my grandma I would never speak to her again if she didn’t stop giving my ex my phone number. Don’t feel guilty for making sure you are healthy and happy even if that means some people gotta go.
Regardless of what you said before - anytime your child is asked to lie to you… it’s a big NO. Your child is suppose to trust you with everything… anytime a child is asked to lie to their mother, it opens up a door for abuse of any kind… no one should ever tell your child to lie to you.
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Tell grandma you want her to go to counseling or no visiting tell her she’s causing to much drama for your family say you want to understand her ways she won’t go but it will be hanging over her head
Absolutely not! Cut ties and burn that bridge. I would be infuriated. Stand your ground Mama!
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Whew Chile, I would’ve cussed her ALL THE WAY out! First of all, if he was only seeing this girl for a month or two, how well does the grandma really know her. 2) Maybe that’s why her son is in jail now because she’s morally bankrupt and encourages lying. 
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If she demands visits only allow supervised visits with you there. Take it or leave it !!+
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Hell No you’re not wrong! You are their mother! Get that toxic anchor out of their lives
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Id hit the roof. U do rite.
You need to have a serious chat with her and tell her my children don’t need to call any body eles mum or dad ok thats how it works otherwise I will stop letting my children come over here
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Maybe you should be the better person and invite her out for a coffee, just the 2 of yous. You both can get some one on one time, get to know each other for yourselves. Also let her know her place in your children’s life such as not to teach them to call her mum. I know it will be difficult but if she is your children’s only connection to their father at the moment, don’t take those visits away. Try and all get on the same level as eachother for the sake of the kids. Good luck.
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How old are the kids?
I’d be absolutely fummmming! Bye granny, bye New girlfriend 
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Owch. If you feel your children are in danger…
But first step would be to speak to Grandma & GF about the situation and make them aware of the possible outcome.
Oh nah. That’s not her place
only a month??? fuck no
Its never ok for grandparents to go against a parents wishes or encourage the children to lie to their parents.
Personally I dont think jail is any place for a child to visit and if its happening at all they should be under your supervision …not a new gf.
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I would confront her and tell her she won’t see them if she can’t respect your wishes
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I’ll be like a raving lunatic. You’re definitely not overreacting. Bye, grand-mama:raising_hand_woman:t2:
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Nope in fact i would change my number and address or go as far as a legal no contact order on grandma and a restraining order on the new girlfriend
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I’d invite her out for coffe/tea just the two of you and very nicely and let her know her place and the role she is playing in their lives. Good luck
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Just walk away none of this is helping your children
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Kids would not be going to grandma’s. If her son was so worried about seeing his kids he wouldn’t be in jail right now. She basically let a virtual stranger take your kids without your knowledge and then asked them to lie. She definitely wouldn’t be seeing them alone ever again.
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A gf wouldn’t be taking my kids anywhere…I wouldn’t even bother with them going over there then.
I’m going through same thing with my kids dad being in jail except I’m not putting my kids through this. They don’t wanna see him. I’m not doing video chats or nothing because it’s to hard on kids.
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LOL no there’d be a major problem
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I would have gone psycho… let’s just say I’d probably catch a charge.
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Um. Granny needs to lose her privileges…
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You’re not petty at all! If grandma can’t follow your rules, then she doesn’t get to be with the kids!
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Not good 
So disrespectful and Evil
They wouldn’t be allowed to go to grandmas anymore
Grandma doesn’t care about her Grandkids or you . Stop the madness 
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I would occasionally allow her to see them at your home or a park. Like very rarely but enough that if she tries for GPR (if your state has them) her case would be denied. What she did was so harmful to the children and she had no right to allow a 3rd party access to them, let alone drive them somewhere, take them for visitation at the jail. Where the kids ok afterwards? Also any adult that asks children to keep secrets from their parents are an immediate safety threat.
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If it’s only a year why traumatize the kids by taking them to the jail.Specially if they’re young
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Oh heck no. There would be a big issue
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Privileges REVOKED!!! Sorry grandma not sorry!!!
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How that possible? When my dad was in jail my guardian had to sign paperwork for my other grandparents to even take me to the jail let alone be let in
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I would find someone else to watch the kids
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I wouldn’t allow them over her house alone.
Not petty no. I wouldnt completly pull them out of her life. That is their Grandma, will hurt them to be out of her life. Just maybe keep it supervised.
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Nope. Not acceptable. My kids wouldn’t go back.
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Not petty at all. Grandma wouldn’t be watching them anymore if she can not honor your wishes.
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Sorry, I had to read this several times, You said your daughter & son went to his moms house, So I am guessing their grandmothers house. But who is 'his new GF?? Your mothers ?? I am lost. Wait a minute, I think I now got it, the guy that is in jail, & this was his GR??? Am I on the right track now??? Never mind I going to get a drink & wait for the show on Jerry 
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If grandma cannot respect boundaries then she cannot see the kids.
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No they’re your kids
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No your not being petty…Grandma would loose her privileges
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How can she do that do you not need to sign consent?
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That is a huge issue I mean who do they think they are if they have only been dating a month why on earth wood she let them go with her bad stuff happens everyday because of that!!! You do what you need to do you are the mom and you can set those boundaries and anyone who doesn’t like it should have not did what they did.
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Granny loses her visiting rights. Kids don’t need to visit their parents in jail. The parent in jail also lost that right when they committed a crime.
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File for custody before he gets out of jail. Because once he gets out, things will get worst with all of them. His mother and girlfriend sounds toxic… he probably is the same way. 
keep your children away from them.
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There are no secrets from mom. If grandma can’t repect your wishes, she shouldn’t be around your kids.
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Not petty at all!! Bye grandma 
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Not at all. If they can’t respect your wishes… your kids can’t go.
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All of that is disrespectful. And then to tell them to lie to you, just makes you wonder what else she would do behind your back. I would tell her she is only allowed to see them if you’re supervising the visit, or if you have someone else you trust to supervise. She cannot be trusted with your children.
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If she can’t respect your wishes then she doesn’t need to watch them 
I think you are acting like a reasonable adult who isn’t go to go back and forth with the arguing and headache of it all. If grandma wishes to see grand kids she can go to your house and see them while you are present. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with some random person I don’t know taking my kids, and I would be very upset if someone took my kids to the jail to visit someone without speaking to me 1st.
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Not cool no kid needs to see their parent in jail setting
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You are not Petty at all grandparents have no rights and she ruined it for herself
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If she doesn’t comply with your wishes they don’t visit. End of story
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No that isn’t being petty. If she can’t respect your wishes or boundaries then she doesn’t need to be around.
No, grandma should loose her privileges to see her grandkids. Remember, just because they’re family, doesn’t mean you can’t kick them out of your life. Family is very much not needed.
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Not at all they are your children and what you say goes. Grandma clearly isn’t listening to your wishes so I’d be telling her if she wants to be in there lives she needs to do as you say or don’t let the door hit her on the ass on the way out. I would never allow my son around a new partner after just a few months let alone take them out alone. Not petty in my book just a mum who is trying to protect her children.
Absolutely not. IF my children were to go to a jail to visit someone, it would only be in my custody whether I liked them or not. I.e. their dad.
Keep them safe from all that
Can’t let your kids go with a stranger. Shame on Grandma.
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Absolutely not! Your job is protect your child. WGAF what granny and dad had to say about it. Girlfriend should not disrespect you like that and she is out of line. You don’t need to ask that question. Your babies, you raise them.
Oh hell no ! I’d be mad asf !
No stand Your ground you’re doing what’s right for your children in you
100% not petty. That’s smart.
Hit her with kidnapping … she has ur kids without ur permission. That should stop it real fast . She is using ur kids to look good to their dad in jail . But I can guarantee u this much , that wont last long , lol. I’ve been on both sides , it’s just stupid games.
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My mom did this same thing with my TIA (my dads sister) my dad was in prison the first 4 years of my life so I never met him before. My mom asked her not to have him around unless she was there because I had never met him and my Tia wouldn’t respect that so we stopped going over there until after the meeting between him and I.
They will go to grandma’s house when dad gets out of jail! You don’t know the girlfriend or what your children are being exposed to when she has them with her!
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Nope she disregarded what you as their mother asked her not too do
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You do what you need to do to keep your children safe!!! Stand your ground!!!
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Nope keep them safe at all costs go mama go !!!
stand you damn ground woman!!! they are your children and Momma knows absolute best!
Naw they don’t need to be going over there.
Yeah no. My kids are not allowed any other female at all idc if their dad is married or not to her still aren’t allowed around them. So I would be pissed if this was my kids and they wouldn’t see her again
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Nope. Done. Cut those ties. I’d be livid. And I’d definitely cut those ties. And if something were to arise in the future I would get the police involved.
Mine children wouldn’t be going-period! She purposely planned all of that behind your back-against your wishes. Bye bye granny, hope it was worth it.
I just had this same type of conversation with my 11&7yo nieces and told them they don’t have to call anyone mom or dad that’s not their mom or dad and if someone force’s them to call them other than there name to call me and I will handle it
Nothing wrong with it. She just sent the kids with a stranger, who if she bashes you has animosity towards you. Who is to know what she could decide to do to the kids to be honest…NOPE Dad is in jail so that is Dad’s problem. Now Grandma would be cut off too. She can’t be trusted to care for the kids.
They’re there to see grandma not dad’s girlfriend. If grandma cannot abide by your rules and respect your wishes then no you’re not being petty.
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Yeah that would’ve been the last time they went. I’m sorry you went through that!
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That’s not a good example of a grandmother, just because those are her sons kids she needs to respect your wishes. And someone who he met for a month means nothing!! If they live with you then you have all rights to cut her out until she shows respect.
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You are right!!! I would be livid!!!
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Anything you say goes for YOUR kids. If anyone can not respect that then byeee👌
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Cut her off, what if this random woman gets in an accident with your kids in the car. I would get the police involved next time Grandma decides to release your children to a stranger that you are not consenting them to be with.
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Hell no she wouldn’t see them. I would be kicking ass.
I hope you have full custody, if not go to court and get an order put in place so that you do.
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Nope. Boundaries should be set and respected. Grandma knew better.
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