As a step parent I would never ask for compensation. I think it’s just odd & not the route for me.
Anyone wanna make $10, while we wait for the CtC to post? You cannot have the Oxygen Appn already!!!
I would have to say no. You already stated you would watch him and do school with him. He is your SO’s child. You do not get compensated for being involved in what would be normal spouse duties.
I would also like to say great job for stepping up and being a great male role model for this child. Teaching/guiding isn’t always easy when it’s not your bio child.
She should have offered you some pay from the beginning
Before you make a decision think about how everyone else would feel. Your little teammate might feel more like an obligation and if they can’t afford it, it’s just pressuring and poisoning the great vibes you have right now. Besides that, if they refuse, will you say no to the deed, or probably not…
I think it’s fair to ask for anything that you can use in the home, supplies, food, etc. Maybe it’s fair to plan a little day trip and ask the mom to pay for it. Things like that.
Extras, time off, and love. Those are the benefits I would look for in this situation.
It’s your choice not one person can make that decision for u don’t go by any comment cause that don’t mean anything it is your choice you are the only one who makes it.
I’d of said no sounds like you’re a baby sitter why can’t his mum do virtual school she shouldn’t offer to have him if she’s working confused by the whole situation! I would mind a few hours but 4 days out of seven you’re defiantly the free child minder
I don’t think it’s wrong for you to ask for some compensation. Or atleast work something out you would be comfortable with.
You’re kinda already being compensated, since your girlfriend works and you don’t.
At least ask for her to send lunch.
Yes lol that’s not yours or your girlfriends kids that you are babysitting . His mom is straight up using you.
i would ask to be paid. thats not ur gf child and hes not your responsibility
I wouldn’t necessarily ask for money. But maybe food and snacks. But he excelled with you so that’s why she’s asking you to do it again.
Confusing lol
This is not your child. Hes not your partners child but the child of your partners ex …have I got that right ? Youre in 1st grade …not sure what age that makes you but still young im assuming .
You’ve watched /coached him last term and all summer. During the summer you could have had a summer job? So you lost out on some cash
Maybe his mom feels its ok cause your partner was in her sons life…but even family likes to be appreciated especially since the boy did so well under your care /tutoring.
Now she’s asked you to continue which is great for her son and you dont mind…but I feel it should now be a business arrangement if its going to continue .
It would cost her a fair amount to have a stranger do the job youre doing. You would feel awkward and couldn’t expect to be paid the same amount as a tutor…but I reckon she should be offering to pay something . Really she should have offered right from the start knowing you’re not working but could be earning during holidays , evening or weekends …jmo
If you’re home going to school online not working how are your part of the bills being paid?
I mean… I’m a stay at home mom and my husband works. If I have needs he supports me. So if there is anything you need, yes your partner should support you. But asking for “babysitting” money, no…
I would ask the mom to send breakfast lunch and snacks. You are saving her money and honestly she feels safe with you having the boy. You knew what it was going in so now you have to uphold that. The boy will be a part of your life forever. Raise him to the best your ability when you have him. You will get rewarded with something more than money in the long run
I think it’s a great thing you are doing and making such a positive impact on this little boys life. I’d be proud of what u would do. I would ask for lunch, drinks and snacks for him whilst at your place and as long as u are happy continuing such a good deed then what’s the harm. Think how much different it would be for that little boy now and in the future cause someone actually made time for him for him to achieve to the best of his ability
If you were married and you didn’t adopt him (legally), would you be asking the same question? I would just ask that snacks and lunch be provided on those days (if not provided already)
The mom should have offered to pay you.
Heck yes. That’s not your kid or your girlfriends kid. What you did for him was great and super nice and you’ve been very generous but for the kids mom to want you to continue that for another entire school year after you’ve already been doing it, for free, for about a year already, she’s honestly got some balls asking you that haha. You’re literally his teacher/tutor. And babysitter. Well teachers and tutors and babysitters get paid. Period.
Paid to babysit your bonus child?? Do biological parents get paid to watch their kids🤔.
Your girlfriend has took on a motherly role. She choose to always be apart of his life. You have chosen to be apart of hers. That means you should of thought about the commitment to him before getting in a relationship with her. If you aren’t ready to step up then don’t. If you feel some type of way then express it. But don’t lead people on and give an answer before you have actually decided for yourself.
What do you want? That is honestly the correct answer, not what anyone else tells you that you should want. I have people in my life who tell me all yhe time that I should get paid for xyz, I’m too kind, why do I do this or that for nothing. Well, I like being kind and I am happy that way. I don’t know you, but it sounds like you enjoy helping this child and it brings you some sort of inner joy knowing you’re making an impact. Sometimes that is enough of a payment for us, but that is for only you to decide, not your family.
Not do it if you don’t want to. I’m guessing you live rent free in the girlfriends home as she’s the only one working.
Ok, so your girlfriend considers this child her own, he’s important to her and her to him.
You’re obviously also important to him. Biology doesn’t make family, love does. If he’s doing well in your care and you never thought about charging for babysitting until someone else brought it up, then don’t worry about it now. I mean I’d still ask to make sure that they provide his food while he’s with you, but if you weren’t planning on working otherwise, you might as well continue to do something that will mean the world to this little boy one day.
He’s essentially your step child so probably not.
Tbh virtual school is ALOT !
I feel as though she 1000 percent should compensate you in some way !
You are doing a lot and putting forth great effort with great results!
Would they be paying for child are if you weren’t available? If so they should compensate you
Have you considered suggesting the use of a public virtual school? You could still be there for support and to make sure the child is on task and understanding concepts, but they have to attend a virtual classroom with a live teacher? There are private paid virtual schools and free public virtual schools. They usually will send a laptop and printer for free, and you just send laptop back when schooling is complete.
This isn’t just babysitting on date nights. Keeping a child is a full time job + being his teacher. It’s a huge thing to ask of someone and she shouldn’t expect you to do it for nothing. Your girlfriend shouldn’t either, it’s not fair.
Of course you should, it’s a full time job and takes away you being able to earn money for yourself. Are you expected to do this until he finishes school? What about when your course is up and you want to do something with your qualifications? Does your course require you to do work placements? Is it normal school week? (30 hours Mon-Fri), if so that’s alot of your time to be asking, especially when your studying yourself. No one else would work full time for free, and being kind isn’t going to pay any bills.
She should have offered you compensation
I may get hate for this but that’s OK. I 100 percent feel like you should get something. That child isn’t your girlfriends biological child. It’s literally like your baby sitting this child. I don’t think its fair for you to have to baby sit and be a tutor to this child without getting something in return not to mention while you are going to school yourself. Thats a lot to be doing.
You should definitely be getting paid. Absolutely
Maybe internet bill, plus supply food/snacks
I as a parent would pay you
I took on 3 kids through the pandemic 1 6th grader and 2 3rd graders I got paid $70 a day and kept them through the summer I am actually stepping back once school starts. I was going to be picking them up and keeping them until 8-830pm 4 days a week but I just cannot do it with my own boys appointments after school and financially it doesn’t work. I can work as a Travel Nurse 4 shifts a month making what I do 16 days a month without having to feed and entertain 3 additional kids. I wouldn’t have done it without pay. And what I got paid was little compared to what I could have been getting.
Thanks all for your insight in this!
Just to clear some stuff up…
I don’t want to ask for money, it was brought up by my family to ask. I don’t mind watching him at all. He does not call my gf mom, and the only time she sees him is maybe an hour a day (Monday through Thursday) when she’s done with work before his mom picks him up. There is no shared custody or anything, I literally just watch him and do school with him while she works. My gf is also not the only one who pays the bills around here. She actually lives with me in my house but we do split bills and everything (I pay with my school money), so I’m not living off her dime and freely (just wanted to point this out specifically). Mom will supply food and snacks on occasion but otherwise we have plenty here for him as well. I really do enjoy the time little man and I spend together, and I’m glad to help him with learning. He has grown so much in just the last year and has gotten so much better at some stuff and it just makes me feel good to have heard that from his teachers. The only reason I threw this up here was because my family had brought it up. I’ve talked to my gf about it and told her I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking money. Thank you all for taking time and passing on your advice! I appreciate you all!
Call cps, they’ll watch them for you.
I don’t think it’s wrong to ask for payment. That’s a lot of work and it takes a lot of patience to do virtual school with kids. It’s not for the weak and you are basically becoming his teacher. This comes with a lot of responsibilities making sure he is caught up on work and learning what he needs to stay on track. I think you should be paid. I think it was rude of them not to volunteer payment when they asked you to do this again. Not that you mind, but me as a parent, I would pay you. Especially if the child does better. I would be so grateful.
She’s taking advantage of you, I’d make sure she isn’t seeing your girlfriend on the quiet
I don’t know the right answer, but if this was your girlfriend’s biological child would you want compensated?
It’s basically your step son, would you be excited to get paid to have your sted son? No, you most seriously would not. If this thought didn’t come from your head then I don’t understand why you would change anything now.
She should have offered!!
Sounds like you need to decide if this relationship is going anywhere…and if ur online school all day…just curious…she must be paying the bills.
If you don’t feel right asking don’t. It’s weird that your family or anyone would say you should ask tbh. If you love being around the kid and don’t care about money then there’s your answer. Best of luck either way!
So you are not employed just a student? Your girlfriend works full time so she’s supporting you? The child’s mom works full time as well? You love your girlfriend? Do you care for the child beyond just “liking” him? If your girlfriend considers him a step child then what does that make you? Isn’t it like a step parent that stays home with the kid while the other parents work? How do you think asking for payment would make the child feel? And you girlfriend??
If you don’t care to do it for free, and I am assuming you don’t because you’ve done it this long and said it wasn’t even something you’d thought of, then there’s no issue and it’s no one else’s business. If it were preventing you from doing your own school work it would be different but if it’s not a problem for you then it’s not a problem, period. If YOU don’t feel the need to ask for compensation then you don’t need it. A kid can’t have too many people who love them and the fact that you seem to genuinely care and like spending this time with him will make a huge impact, obviously it already has since he’s done so much better with you and Virtual schooling, the mom ASKED, it isn’t required and she didn’t demand so if you can and are willing to continue the arrangement then do it. I’m assuming OP is a woman btw, it really doesn’t matter either way though.
Tell your girl that respectfully you need to get paid cause you are watching that child and schooling the child as well.babysitting and schooling are also jobs and full time at that.so she should be considerate and have the mom pay you.you can be doing other things like getting your own job to get money.I wouldn’t feel bad cause it seems a favor turned into a job.so you should get paid for doing your job.you don’t want them to start taking advantage of you and start abusing your kindness.then start using you more than they are.set boundaries and limits.I think they taking advantage a bit.you need to get paid.I get child is your girls step child but that don’t mean your obligated to do things for free all the time.that’s not your step child although you do help with child it’s her step child so she needs to make sure your good if your gonna do certain things that you don’t have to do.you did not offer to school again so since their asking u to do it again now this time it becomes a job not a favor and u should get paid.if it was your girlfriends child .I would say don’t charge .but since the child has a mother and is only her step child .then you should be paid.you have your own education and future job to worry about .
So she’s supporting you so you can go to school but you think she should also pay you while she’s supporting you to help her with her kid?
Wow, you’re a special kind of selfish stupid aren’t you
If located in Canada, look into child subsidy, for child minding.