Thatâs really a hard spot to be in. I would first bring it up to your gf and see how she feels and then make your choice.
On one hand I think you shouldnât be asking for money to watch your gf child. When you enter a relationship with someone who has a kid you accept them and the kid. On the other hand I donât know the exact circumstances around the child and your gf. Does the kid call your gf mom too? or is just that she kept in contact with the kid? Does your gf get equal time and rights to the child (even if it wasnât covid)? Like does she help support the kid etc that a divorced parent would do? Does she consider the kid to be her child? If she just happened to keep in contact with the kid after the breakup then I would say asking for money might be ok. If the gf is âmomâ in all sense of the word still then I would maybe think twice.
I can see where your mom and sister are coming from. You are working hard and giving up your time to look after the kid and help with him school. I think the mother should of at least offered you some compensation considering it is no longer necessary to keep him out of school, she just choosing to. I will say if you donât speak up now that you are continue to be used as free labourâŚbe that as a tutor or babysitter.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I be paid to watch my girlfriends child?
Ummm how serious are you. If sheâs been in his life consistently, sheâs technically his parent. If you plan on having a life with her then plan on being a parent to this child also. As for the money, like I asked how serious are you? I personally wouldnât ask for money and when I had my boyfriends oldest with me I kept him, never asked him to pay me but we also have been together for years and have kids togetherâŚ. Soo⌠yeah
Uh⌠First off why are you even questioning this. You knew she had a kiddo, they are a package deal. Iâm sorry, but I would be mad and upset if my bf asked me for money to help me with my kid. Whatâs the point of being in a relationship with someone whom has a kid, if your going to ask her for money to watch a child you knew she had.
You arenât obligated to do anything with said child letâs make that clear âŚ& technically if both are working & you have him every day itâs basically responsibility that you didnât sign up for you can absolutely say NO ! & not feel bad ⌠thereâs a difference between co parenting but your doing all the work pretty much when heâs really just your girlfriends ex girlfriends kid ⌠sorry not sorry ⌠
It seems like you enjoy this and you could have such a positive impact on this childâs life. If it doesnât bother you, donât let someone else being bothered, bother you.
Kindness of your heart thing at this point. Youâre like a step parent of sorts so itâs just kind of part of the whole thing.
Nah i wouldnt ask for money. Youâre not actually doing it for the mom youâre doing it for the kid. And asking for compensation from the mom feels like youâd be telling her youâre only spending time with her child because of money. Thereâs no reason for it.
Do for the boy, not money.
Heâs lucky to have you and the bond you have obviously created together, donât have him grow and later wonder if you only did it for the money.
From what it seems like youâre getting to stay home and do your schooling on your partners dime so no I wouldnât ask. If youâre serious about this relationship youâre basically stepping into a step parent role.
Nope as you said you weâre aware before that the person your dating was a package deal which means if your the parent figure that is available to attend to the child then thatâs what you should be doing without asking for money.
Well thatâs basically family so instead of money Iâd probably exchange favors. I donât think thatâs unreasonable. Money feels really weird, and once you start mixing family and business it gets really messy. I really think exchanging favors is the way to go.
Your sister and dad need to not worry about your dynamic. Basically this kid is your stepchild now so do your part and do it with a good heart
It use to take a village to raise a child. We donât have that any more. Please just do it from the kindness of your heart. I think sometimes our family see things differently.
Knowing the situation going in, I feel itâs wrong you taking money from her. It should be reward enough that he did excellent last year and if you do it this year, knowing that you helped this child learn and grow, that is a reward in itself.
I think you are probably an amazing role model for this little boy. This sounds like an amazing situation to be a part of. I personally would not ask for compensation unless itâs hindering you financially to be with him instead of working. Honestly, the mom should be offering compensation and since sheâs not I wonder if she can afford it? Just my thoughts on the situation. Itâs definitely a personal decision that maybe you should discuss with your girlfriend?
Youâre in a serious relationship with his mother and want to be paid to basically be âstep parentâ? Maybe this relationship isnât for you.
I would ask for compensationâŚ
Sounds like your doing a great job with this child! Donât ask for money. Do it for this child and that greatest in your heart. 
You knew what you were going into when yâall got together and you yourself said you were fine with it⌠youâre pretty much a bonus parent to the child. I wouldnât expect my sons bonus parents to be paid for helping care for him
She should be the one to offer you something. That would be the right thing to do.You are doing it because you want to help but itâs going to be holding you down in doing things for yourself. Itâs your call. Thanks for helping him.
Itâs not what anyone else thinks. Itâs what you think. You do have the option to say no if you donât want to watch him.
Hey yes I would ask for money. Itâs my time getting sucked up. I get it went great an you did it in an pinch. But now she wants you to do it this year.
First of all, I LOVE the dynamic you all have. How lucky is that little guy to be surrounded by so much love and support. Itâs so refreshing to hear about not 2, but 3 grown adults being mature and putting a child first.
Iâm not sure asking for compensation would be a great idea. Maybe ask that she provide money for the 2 of you to have a special lunch on Fridays, or something along those lines. It may not necessarily be what you were thinking, but itâs something indulgent and kind of a reward for his hard work during the week.
Itâs not you or your gfs kid, I donât see issue with you being paid? Youâre a tutor and a babysitter at this point. Heâs not your step kid, itâs almost like heâs your godchild. It depends on how you feel, do you need the financial help? Itâs really up to you. How you feel about it.
I think youâre amazing! I love seeing children be surrounded by love! Given the situation (not a bad one by no means) I do believe you should work out some sort of compensation. You deserve it and the child deserves you! 
Donât listen to other people do as your heart feels !!
Youâre basically a stepparent to the child. My daughters bonus mom as never asked for compensation while helping watch/take care of her. I donât feel you should. Your family is looking at it as this isnât your gf child but he is hers and now he has a bonus parent as well in you.
Arenât you being compensated with a roof over your head and food in your belly lights and water blessed with a good woman ? Heck no you shouldnât be compensated! Going to school online isnât a excuse not to have a job! Therefore help with HER child is the JOB!
Go with your heart if you love the kids and do it for nothing if you feel you needed some kind of payment has code for 50 to 75 bucks a week to feed the kids
If this is a serious relationship you are going to be this childâs step parent (whether biological or not). I worked full time and went to school online no problem so if you arenât working and have the time I donât think you should ask for money for being a parental figure.
Do you live together? If you live together and your gf works while you go through school full time then you are living as a couple and her responsibilities are yours, and yours are hers as long as you both choose.
If you live separately and pay bills separately then yes, she should pay you.
Do yâall live together is she paying the bills from you said you were going to school and she was the one working of thatâs the case then no I wouldnât she paying the bills because technically that would be paying in some way shape or form of itâs 50 50 on bills or yâall do not live together then yes Iâd ask for something at least
No parent gets paid to watch there own kid , if you are in a relationship with the mother and plan on being in this childâs life then no I would not ask for money
Tell your family to stay in their lane and let you continue to be an asset for this young man that youâre working hard to help raise up. It takes a village to raise a child and if you never thought of asking for money before then why start now? Kudos for being someone positive for this young man.
No. You are a parent, not a babysitter.
I wouldnât ask for any compensation. Sounds like every thing is working great so donât make it weird
Um your his bonus parent no you shouldnât be paid for what you signed up for you go to school full time that means youâre not working who takes care of the house? His mom right? So youâre a stay at home partner correct? Stay at home parents raise kids right thatâs your partnerâs child thatâs yours too no parent gets paid to raise kids
So you want paid; to watch a child that was part of the âpackageâ when you went into the relationship?! Wowowowowow. If this is the case then Iâm going to start asking my SO for money every time he leaves me with my bonus boys 
It sounds like you and the little boy are having a good time bonding and he is benefitting greatly from the time he has with you. You canât put a price on that. If you plan on making this a long term relationship and this arrangement isnât keeping you from working a paying job then I wouldnât ask for money. Tell your family to mind their own business.
You are basically the stepparent it isnât a paid job sorry you knew what you were walking into that part of it all free
First of all, youâre an AMAZING PERSON! So is your girlfriend for being in his life itâs honestly what you feel what you want to do, not what your family is saying you should do. If it hasnât been a problem then all should be fine.
My daughter married a woman that had two kids. The kids were almost 1&2 when they met. They have been together for eleven years. Part of the deal is if something did happen my daughter would always get to be in their life. If you are serious about your relationship I would start thinking of that child as your child also. Honestly you must be amazing because if the mother wants you in the kids life it must mean you are doing something right. A lot of people donât believe that in a two girl or two boy relationship the person that isnât the Biological parent isnât the parent at all. But I can promise you that other person loves that child just as much as the one that is. A lot of the times their love is stronger in a different way because they couldnât see themselves physically giving birth or couldnât do it due to their sex. I personally would tell your family that you canât ask for money because that would be taking money to keep your own kid. I do have a feeling if you ask for money your relationship with your partner will change for good because they will see you donât see that child as theirs and also see how you view it as babysitting instead of being another bonus mom. The money isnât worth losing it all. Be grateful you get a child and someone that loves you, it is worth way more than money.
Itâs up to you. If itâs not hindering you at all, why not? He needs the help.
If you hit a financial concern related to this, discuss it with the other two parents. Other than that, I see a lovely growing family coparenting together and building relationships.
This is the dumbest fucking thing Iâve ever seen. NO, YOU DONT GET PAID FOR BEING A STEP PARENT.
I wouldnât ask for compensation, but I surely would never ask another person to take on teaching my kid 4 days a week without offering them something. That shit last year was hard af, especially with a child (like mine) who has a learning disability.
Yep. She would pay anyone else.
Everyone is getting money for kids right now. Your doing the schooling. You should be getting atleast $100 a week.
You literally just said you knew thatâs how it would be
The way I see it is your playing the role of a Step parent since your gf has stuck to being a role model in his life. I wouldnât ask for money. If your serious about the relationship and staying that is something that would be normal. Now if you split up and was asked to baby sit and what not that would be a different story.
If your online classes are going well, youâre uncomfortable asking for money & you feel good about being such a positive force in this childâs life then your heart is in the right place. Tell your family that you appreciate their concern but you donât feel you are being taken advantage of & that what you receive back, in appreciation, love, and contributing in that way to the household, is all the compensation you need for now. Let them know if you ever felt you were being taken advantage of you would definitely speak to your girlfriend and her ex.
Sounds like youâre a lovely person 
Best wishes!
Wait. Heâs yours gfs exâs son?
Honestly, I would ask for compensation. Youâre providing a service and should be paid for it.
Thatâs up to you if this is a girlfriends child or one that sheâs close too it would feel awkward to ask for anything ( at least Iâd feel that way )
I donât think asking for anything extra for him is ok. It you certainly shouldnât be out anyway. Food you give him, school supplies, that should come from them. Not you.
This is sad! Obviously, your mom and sister donât see your gf and her son as a FAMILY! With what Iâve seen, many parents and families milk other families for money. When Money gets Involve it becomes a business friend. Itâs not HELP nor LOVE. If I were your gf, you asked for $$$, Iâd be terribly disappointed as you see it as a business!
Honestly, if you two didnât discuss you playing a parent role to her kid, then yeah, I think you should be getting paid 
Idc what anyone says, just because people date, doesnât make the non parent a babysitter automatically. Things like that should be discussed.
It would be hard and a bit devastating to ask for money at this point regardless. And youâre more or less a step parent. Do step parents or SOs get paid to babysit? Idk Iâve never had my SO before we were married babysit. I actually had them in daycare. If itâs too much for you Iâd ask if mom could sign up for child care assistance and put the child in daycare. Or⌠if mom does quality for daycare assistance you may be able to get paid and not put mom out too much? Idk this is up to you but I feel if you ask for money now someone is going to get upset. Also it sounds like they asked you and you already agreed.
If my partner asked for money to help a child that i consider mine I would be so hurt. Do you pay any of the bills or food cause it sounds like your gf works and provides for you alreadyâŚ
First let me say you are awesome. If you need the money and mom can afford it then have a talk with her.
Family is family , kids need all the love they can get. Kudos to you all working together for the kid!!
You donât work and stay home while mom works so Iâd say youâre paid 
I wouldnât ask for money
If you donât mind
Then go with it
Anyone that helps a child develop is beautiful bio baby or not
Maybe your mom and sister are being selfish 
they are not the ones helping you are go with what you feel you want to do
If you are giving up the opportunity to otherwise earn income, absolutely. That child is not your responsibility and you shouldnât be taken advantage of. While you are doing it out of the kindness of your heart, she should be compensating you out of the kindness of hers.
Personally speaking⌠the boy is basically her son⌠and you having a commitment with her in a relationship⌠she would be your step child. Why should you be paid to help you step child
Are you contributing financially to the household as a full time student? If not I would consider it compensation.
If you think itâs a good idea, than it is. If you would like a little compensation then YES, you should be compensated. Most def. itâs appropriate and the mother should def be offering to pay you. If she isnât, she is just getting over in the situation. I mean is your girl planning to parent the child forever? 3 yrs isnât long enough to feel invested for lifeâŚ.especially if she has moved on. I would be feeling suspect about this arrangement. Idk, maybe she should be considering moving on instead of making the situation life long or super difficult to walk away from. Idk.
Your family is so very wrong.
Wow some of these comments are mind blowing.
Ummmmmmm arenât you like the step parent?!? If thatâs the case, then you should probably break up with the other parent. If you feel the need to be âcompensatedâ they you arenât ready to be a parent
What do YOU think and how you YOU feel about the situation?
I Have a friend who has had custody of daughter. the mom has 2 other girls from diffrent relationships. Summer time the dad and his wife watch the duffer daughters sisters so they have time together.
No, you donât ask for compensation to watch your girlfriendâs kid. You CAN HOWEVER ask to cut down the days if him being there is too much.
Yes Iâd ask for something for food or for teaching him or for watching him. Itâs not your child or your girlfriendâs child.
Only if its taking away the time in which you can make money yourself. Other than that no.
For a lot of yâall itâs only blood that makes up a family huh?
For all of the comments saying because heâs not truly the girlfriends kid, theyâd charge, is ridiculous. My ex husband didnât meet my son until he was a year old, has been âdadâ ever since, even after our divorce. He recently started dating. If his girlfriend was in this situation and asked me for money to help with our child, I would be APPALLED and I would lose a lot of respect for her and her position in my childrens lives. Blood doesnât always mean family. If you have the means to do it, do it. If it is keeping you from gaining employment, say that, but yes, I think itâs wrong for you to make her pay you.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I be paid to watch my girlfriends child?
Geez this one is tough⌠I feel like you should be compensated⌠but itâs a tough call
You sound like a wonderful person. Wow!
Am I the only one reading this assuming the OP is a woman?
My oh my. Can I just start off by saying what an amazing man and care taker you are? This little man sounds so lucky to have such a group of amazing/loving/caring/compassionate adults in his little life. Reading this I can tell you have so much on your shoulders. You are doing something that most wouldnât do. I would feel super weird asking for money. This is such a hard one. Personally it should he a given that they give you some sort of compensation as you are going far above and beyond. I wish I had a better answer to this question. I just wanted to give you some props and the admiration you so deserve. You are a rockstar
You should have been paid from the beginning and Iâm shocked no one brought up compensation. Youâre being used as a private tutor and a babysitter, both are expensive. Youâre saving the mon a ton of money and worry. Itâs a huge commitment for you because you canât relax during classes or work. I lived in campus and there was so much free time between classes. I also was a full time student (6-7 classes per semester) and I worked full time. You donât have that option to earn money because youâre working for free. Maybe tell the mom you were hoping to work because you need $ and see where it goes from there? (Coming from someone who is not good at asking for money so Iâd probably be doing it for free, too. 
)
Iâm not sure how long you and your girlfriend have been in a relationship but I believe you need to have an honest conversation about this issueâŚthat should not be a problem. It was awesome that you were home this past year and was able to help,however you were working on your own education too. This child can now go to schoolâŚwhile being able to be home works for everyone else itâs not working for you at this point. Not that youâve minded but you need to focus on your own education. I feel youâre being taken advantage of and youâve been put in an awkward position. Honestly no one should be upset if you say youâd rather not.
I would first talk to ur gf about it and tell her how u feel? Tell her u love helping and donât mind but since u r in school full time as well with no job u feel the extra cash could really help u two out especially for breakfast and lunch during the week when he would be there then have ur gf talk to her ex about it.
You do what your heart tells you! Sounds like you love and care for this precious child! If you need help and she is able thatâs definitely a discussion! What a trueBlessing you are for this precious boy ! I applaud you ! Iâm sure he is and will be thankful for you and will tell this story when he is grown!! Amazing ! Wish they were more people in this world to give a child such a wonderful gift!
You being there for him might be just what he needed a man in his life to help guide n love him. I had a 2 year old when my husband of 32 years met me n took care of both of us. I would definitely ask her to help with food for him. I have a 6yr. Old grandson that I watch. He did virtual learning last year. It was so hard for him to pay attention for that time. But I would do it all over again.
I did have my (almost) stepdaughter for 90% of her virtual schooling of 1st grade. We have her bi-weekly normally, but mom works full-time and I am a stay at home mom with my twins and 3 other kids. It was a very difficult school year, and I wouldnât sign up for it again without compensation, honestly.
Personally I would feel weird asking being as you have kinda sorta stepped into a step parent role but I would ask her to atleast send food and stuff being as that is a finance that would come out of your pocket
So your watching your girlfriends step child? Thatâs a very hard one since none of you are biologically related. I have one step child myself so I know how it feels to have them feel like your own. I feel like⌠I think you should get all together and talk it threw.
Being that there is the option for the child to go in class but she is asking you to keep him anyway & school him, I feel that would render some type of compensation. Over the summer is different considering you said she works full time & probably had no one else to watch him. But now knowing school is an option , I feel this is you basically working for her not just a favor anymore.
In many situations, the state pays people to do this kind of thing⌠the parent of the child is the one who needs to qualify for the assistance, but the state will pay the person of the parents choosing. Just a thought. BTW you are a wonderful human for stepping up and helping out like that!!! We (the world) need more people like you!!!
Absolutely would not ask for compensation.
You got into a relationship with someone whoâs a parent (step⌠whatever it doesnât matter, still a parent) and then you took on some responsibility for this child who youâre a parent figure for now too by the sounds of it. Sure youâre not obligated to do what youâre doing, so Iâd suggest saying no before asking for compensation.
This said as the mother to a step child who I raised even after my marriage to his dad ended and when I got with my now wife she knew my stepson is just as important as the kids I birthed.
If you feel like you need compensation and she can afford it ask. If not donât. Since it wasnât your idea I donât think itâs what you want. And donât let others alter who you are and what you wanna do with their ideas
You got into a relationship with someone knowing that, essentially, they have a child; and now youâre wondering if you should be asking for compensation to be with your girlfriends child?? You should be treating that child like your own⌠I would never ask my boyfriend for payment to spend time with his child, regardless of the circumstances.
She shouldâve been giving you money from the start.
You are not a daycare or a teacher. You are taking your time and watching this child and teaching him. Especially since this child is able to be going back to school in person. You should absolutely be compensated. this is not your child or your girlfriends biological child and you are not a free daycare.
I would ask for some sort of compensation yes.
Youâre not just baby sitting. Youâre essentially teaching the child. And as a mum of a special needs child it isnât an easy task AT ALL!
Honestly thatâs a private tutor positionâŚpretty expensive to hire one. Also, youâre giving the child and parents something hard to put a price on which is a safe place to flourish and academic success plus there are special needs involved. You definitely deserve compensation.
Depending on how long youâve been together, then youâre basically the step parent. I wouldnât ask for money unless itâs not a long/serious relationship
Your being used as a teacher and a baby sitter Iâd be asking for money