Should I be the one who contacts my exes side of the family?

My son’s father and I are no longer together and he has no contact with our son. Should it be my responsibility to contact his side of the family to spend time with or get to know our son? His family knows how to contact us but haven’t.

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Nope they will if they want y worry bout them just do u

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I wouldn’t. Just keep on doing what your doing :blush:

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No ma’am it is NOT your responsibility. If they know how to get ahold of you then they will if they want to. Otherwise don’t trouble yourself

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Nope not at all. If they cared they would have.

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Nope, it’s up to them. If they wanted to see your son they would contact you.

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No. Not your responsibility

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No. You can let them know that if they would like to see him to let you know and something can be arranged but that’s about it.

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My ex mother contacted me and she sees her grandson every week his father hasn’t seen him in 2 years

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No it’s not your job. But when morales come into play, you can invite them to see your child but if they don’t act upon your invitation I wouldn’t hurt yourself or go out of your way to make this happen

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Sometimes family don’t no how to without anxiety either. Like they’ll upset there son or you by asking. Or scared of rejection for trying. My ex father in law ended up going through mediation to get contact with my son when my sons dad went to jail. the first thing I said was why didn’t you just ask me I don’t mind at all I’m not scary lol.
He just missed his grand son and had the wrong people in his ear.

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Did they have a relationship with your son before the separation? You can ask if they want a relationship with their grandson. But don’t be surprised if they don’t

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I never have. Depending on the age of your son, maybe discuss it with him and let him choose. If he’d like a relationship with them, then reach out or let him reach out. I agree, it’s not necessarily your responsibility but I always try to take my kid’s feelings into consideration before I make decisions like that. If he’s still small, maybe reach out to them once or twice, only because they could have been told a lot of bs and it makes it uncomfortable for them as well. Good luck. :heart:

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Nopeeeeee :-1:t3::-1:t3::-1:t3::-1:t3::-1:t3::-1:t3: that’s their choice :disappointed: I know it’s not fair

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Nope. They can contact you. I dont chase anybody

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Let them contact you.

I am going through the same thing & I was with their dad till they were 3 & 2 now about too be 5 & 4 no need to try when it’s not my job to have them be apart of my children’s life. My kids are good either way.

The phone works BOTH ways! If they DON’T contact U then NO U shouldn’t reach out to them unless U want too but honestly I wouldn’t!!:purple_heart::purple_heart::pray::pray:

I’m in the same situation my sons father is out of the picture and I wasn’t sure his family would want to be apart of my sons life I ended up reaching out to his sister and she’s been 100% wanting to be involved she said it is her nephew so yes :100::100:. They may be a bit shy to reach out as they don’t know if that’s what you want.

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Reach out once. Then you have passed responsibility to them.

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No. That’s there place to have a relationship with the kids . You shouldn’t feel obligated to force anyone to make that commitment.

Nope its its there’s if they don’t bother then fuck them they don’t deserve to know ur son

No, they’re adults. They can do it if they want it

Speaking from experience, at the end of all your efforts, regardless if you reach out or not if they want to be involved they will and if they don’t, they won’t. I spent waaay too many years being that person who would constantly make the effort and nothing ever came from it. There’s ONE person out of multiple people who reaches out and that’s every 3-4 months. I’ve had some of my exes family literally live down the street and not bother. It’s sad, but you can’t force people to want to be involved.

If they wanted to spend time with him they would contact you

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Nope! Going through the same thing and I gave up reaching out to them they know how to contact me :woman_shrugging:

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Maybe they feel the same?

I would and just let them know that they can see the children. They could be thinking you won’t let them stay in the kids lives cause of the father

I know it’s on your head but tbh it’s better leaving it. If they wanted and know how to contact, they will x

In my opinion if they really want to see him and spend time with him. They would make some effort into calling or trying to contact you somehow. If not then you know everything you need to know.

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Leave ut alone, if they want to they will.

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Zeroooo percent . Let them goo.

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You could make an attempt if you don’t get a response then you an your son just move on an live happily ever after.

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Try once , after that it is their responsibility

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Or maybe they think u mite not want them to see there grandkids believe me this does happen i no x

They don’t care u don’t care buy buy​:wave::wave::wave:

No it’s not your responsibility. But if you’re having second thoughts about what you should do, I recommend reaching out once and let the ball be in their court, that way you can have your piece of mind if you need it

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I’d try once, especially If my child was asking to see them. But I wouldn’t keep contacting them if they weren’t making any effort

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It’s not your responsibility however sending a text message or giving them a quick phone call to let them know that you’re happy for them to have a relationship with your child gives them an open to make the first move to arrange something. If they choose not to then you know you tried your best to keep communication open with your child’s family

No. That’s probably a bad idea. His father doesn’t want anything with him his family is the same.

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There is no harm in asking, however dont spend too much time trying… Reach out maybe once to let them know that they are welcome to visit etc but then leave it at that… If they come, thats awesome and great however dont get your hopes up… If they dont come then just move on, sadly we cannot force the interaction, ive tried playing that person and in the end it did more damage to me so i just dropped it and moved on with life…

No there not worth knowing cause they haven’t bothered with him

I had/have the same problem I was always the one that would have to contact them to set up days for them to see my son because I wanted him to have a relationship with them but after months/years of being the only one who ever tried I stopped and haven’t heard from them since. Now if my son (5) says he wants to talk to them I would call for him but he hasn’t even asked. Plus his bio dad never went to see him even when he did go to his other grand parents

Nope if they wanted to see your son they would have already reached out to you. The responsibility shouldn’t all be on you

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Nope. I don’t do that bs, never have and never will. People know where you are, they know how to get a hold of you. If they wanna see them and be a part of their lives, they will. Took me a cpl yrs into being a parent to figure that out that it isn’t up to is to make sure other people are in our kids lives. It’s our job to love them and raise them up the best we can and fuck anyone else :woman_shrugging:t2:

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that’s. right. I would. just contact. them once. and let them know if they want to see. him their more than welcome. just once. just so they know. you let them know

Reach out to them and let them know that his relationship with you and your son doesn’t affect their relationship with your son. If they choose not to continue that’s on them.

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No absolutely not, they know about your son and if they can’t make an effort then why tf should you… Carry On

Just remember that once you plant a seed you need to water it in order for it to grow but keep your garden weeded. You need to hang out with that side of his family in order to find the ones you trust him around, and don’t ask just show up out of nowhere.

Same if they dont care to see him there loss

Hell no! That is not your job to involve them! You take care of your child, THAT IS YOUR JOB!
Good luck

I have a similar situation. My sons bio dad has never been a consistent part of his life and that’s giving him credit where credit is not due. I have never changed my number and actually his sisters are friends with me on Facebook but nobody has reached out to have a relationship with my son. Bio dad will call once or twice a year (drunk mostly) and shows his face once every 4 or 5 years. My son is almost 15 now and fully grasps the situation. I never hid anything from him when it came to his bio dad or that family. Always had open conversations about it. Not saying that’s the perfect method, but it definitely works for us! Up until my son was about 2, I would reach out to bio dad and his family on holidays and such offering for them to see the baby even though they never made the effort but after that I stopped because they never took advantage of any time I offered them to form a relationship with him.

It is absolutely not your responsibility, I would reach out one time, give the phone number and any information they need and let them know that they are welcome to be part of the family as long as they reside within your boundaries for your family and your children!
I do not do drama, I do not do toxic,
if you can’t live with that you will not be part of my circle or my children’s

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If they have been good to your son I’d make sure they knew that even though you aren’t with their son, brother etc that the door is open for them to have a relationship with your son. Sometimes the child’s other family doesn’t feel welcome. If they weren’t involved when you were together or know you’re open to them being around & just don’t then I wouldn’t bother.

I think if you’re asking the question, then you want them to have a relationship for the sake of your child. Just because the father has nothing to do with the child, doesn’t mean you can’t try to form or maintain positive relationships with other family members, as long as they are positive influences on your child. The more people who love your child, the better. And they may not feel comfortable reaching out since father isn’t in the picture. This shouldn’t be an excuse or stop them from doing so, but a good gesture on your part may make all the difference, especially if you want them in the child’s life. Good luck

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Reach out once send a message then leave it - the balls in their court then x

I would say reach out and let them know they are welcome in your lives - I always made sure to try and include them in everything and ask them to watch the boys whenever I needed someone to - I made an effort to make them know I loved and appreciated them even though I was no longer with their son. Just like any relationship it takes work on both sides. I know people are saying "do it once and that’s it) and for sure if deep down you know they are assholes! But sometimes it just takes some getting used to the situation and building of trust (How many horror stories do you hear about people keeping the children from the other side of the family just out of spite?) It takes time to build a loving, trusting relationship. Like I said, I dont know what kind of people they are but if you feel like they are the kind you want in their lives for the long run take the time to build the new relationship. Now - if you try and they are vile/and or don’t respond in an appropriate way then don’t torture yourself over it.

If they aren’t reaching out to you just leave it alone. All it’s gonna do is create problems.

is it in custody orders that the baby is with you? Id be worried to drop my child off with anyone if it isnt. He could then keep the chikd until a custody hearing is established with nothing you can do about it.

its their responsibility not yours

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I would reach out just to make sure they are aware that you are still open to them having a relationship with your son, and let them know that you will be leaving the ball in their court. If they wish to have a relationship and continue to actively seek out, I would certainly make it a two-way street and contact them as well, as long as you aren’t the one always in contact. This is what my sister did with her ex’s parents, and they are great with her daughter.

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Usually when the dad leaves, his whole family disowns the kid too :roll_eyes: sad but true

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Nope if they want a relationship they ca contact you. Just focus on you and the kid I reckon

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Nope. My ex hasnt contacted me to see his kids since June of 2019 and I refuse to reach out to him or his family. They have my number.

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If they know and haven’t then no. It would be harder on your baby to have people in and out of his life than the constant of the people that love him and make the effort for a relationship with him…like his momma :revolving_hearts:

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Well its surely not the childs responsibility…at least try to open the lines of communication so they know u are open to it…my mom didn’t let us see my dads family and as an adult it pissed me off they wanted to know us my mom denied us of the rt to know our whole family

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They may feel worried about the situation try given them a olive branch then u have done the very best by your child by at least offering there dessions after is all on them and there choices xx

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Someone suggested that you reach out and make them aware that you’re interested in them continuing to be a part of your child’s life. That was a very mature piece of advice. I’m going to repost her advice in case you missed it because I completely agree with what she said and I would’ve offered the same advice.

I would reach out just to make sure they are aware that you are still open to them having a relationship with your son, and let them know that you will be leaving the ball in their court. If they wish to have a relationship and continue to actively seek out, I would certainly make it a two-way street and contact them as well, as long as you aren’t the one always in contact. This is what my sister did with her ex’s parents, and they are great with her daughter.

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It would be nice if you extended an invitation to the family to be involved with your son, but that’s as far as you go!
:heart:

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If they know how and haven’t, live your life and leave them alone. It isn’t your son’s or your job to make sure they are involved.

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If you want them to have a relationship you may have to take the first step

No, it’s not your responsibility. I do not reach out to my eyes family, he has not seen them in almost 2 years.

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Well if they have your information. It goes both ways

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For me a family will do what they can go make contact. I’ve always reached out to my sons family but end up cutting them off. Because they never make any kind of consistent contact

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Nope! Their not interested!

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How old son and does your ex side know about baby. If not then I would say that your welcome to visit or not. But only reach out once. Leave it up to them.

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Nope. My kids father didn’t see ours for 5 years straight before getting his act together. His family never made one phone call but when the kids grandfather got sick, I took them there but the kids had grown up and made their decisions at this point. I was blocked on social media so the niece contacted me. Their father gets them regularly now but only certain family members will have anything to do with them and it’s not their grandparents either. But as I told my children, it’s the grandparents loss. Our kids have decided who they want around and I support their decisions. Kids know who wants them and who doesn’t. My daughter has expressed she thinks it’s because she looks like me but she’s okay with that because this mama will always be there :heartbeat:

I think it’s best the child knows both sides of family so I would let them know they are welcomed to still see the child

Let them know the doors open but, let them make the effort.

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If they haven’t contacted you about their grandchild it’s their loss. Take care of your kids first. And yourself.

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No not at all. If they want to they will. Don’t beg anyone to be in your child’s life.

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I had to reach out to them best decision ever for my kids

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Not your responsibility. If they want to be a part of his life then they will be.

No I wouldn’t if I was you… their loss not your sons! Xxx

I would reach out once and if they don’t want to or don’t get back to you, then be done with them. I was trying to look at it from their perspective and maybe they haven’t contacted you because they weren’t sure if you would be willing to let them see your son. They may be concerned with crossing a boundary and were waiting for you to approach them. That’s why I would give them one opportunity before cutting them off!

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If they know how to get ahold of you, it’s on them.

Well, yes…I know it sucks, but you want your child to know his family. If your child is old enough, than it would be his choice. That way your child can make his own decisions when he is older about his family and You don’t end up, in the end, being the bad guy( from the eyes of your child).

I would maybe let them know you wouldn’t mind, because you definitely want to take your son’s feelings into consideration. If they don’t answer after that, then that’s on them. Atleast you tried & you’ll know in your heart you did. It’ll make you feel better, because you made atleast an effort for him!

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I’d just let them know that they’re welcome to see him, all they have to do is call or send you a text. Then if they don’t it’s on them if they don’t see him, and they can’t blame you.

The way you behave will be noticed and repeated by your children. Do the right thing. You have no idea what your X has told them,they may think you aren’t interested in a relationship for your kids. Many, many people don’t know what to say or do so they do nothing. Be the better person. If they are uninterested at least you tried. In my case I never wanted my son during his teenage years accusing me of keeping him from his “family”.

If someone wants to be a part of your child’s life they’ll make the effort

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No, they can contact you if they want to be a part of your son’s life.

Honestly I wouldn’t. Maybe let them know it’s perfectly fine if they want to keep in touch and if they want to reach out or see him, they have every right to. It is so exhausting to try to keep the other parent’s family involved.

I did bc my daughter asked until than I didn’t. Period.

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Reach out one time to let them know you are open to them seeing your son then if they dont reach out to you then oh well. You did your part

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No, they know yall ain’t together and obviously know he’s a deadbeat. If they wanted anything to do with the child they would reach out to you. If they haven’t then you know why. Don’t need anyone in your child’s life that doesn’t want to be.

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They might not know that’s an option. Reach out.

I would reach out just based on them possibly not knowing it’s an option. You never know if your ex is telling them you cut them off amongst other things. I would reach out but only once to make sure they know you’d allow them to see the kids. If they don’t afterwards then that’s on them not you.

Amake contact and then see. If they don’t then you know you gave them the opportunity and they let it go. Did that for my daughter and then 30 yrs later his parents made contact and now just before her 34th birthday this year, her dad made contact for the 1st time.