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QUESTION:
"My husband's sisters friend visits occasionally and everytime the friend visits the sister in law wants to bring this girl to my house for a quick hi or she wants my husband to go to her house to visit while the friend is here. I get offended bc I feel like it's more her friend than his. But he will make up excuses to go knowing it pisses me off. One reason I dont like it is his sister has disrespected me before about telling child hood stories and I dont want to be disrespect again ..trust me I know it will happen. As his wife I feel like he should respect me and tell his sister that its not his friend its hers. Ive never heard this woman’s name in over 9 years until all of a sudden. Is she really that important? Maybe I’m wrong maybe not… I just don’t see the point. I did go meet her one time she was down and all that was said was hi nice to meet you. That was it. I also don’t feel like this friend is in a happy marriage and when she started coming around it was a really bad time for me and my husband and this friend and her boyfriend at the time were having issues now they are married but he drinks alot and never comes to “visit” with the sister and friend… Theres so many details that have to be left out bc this would be a really long post if not. But am I over reacting?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Yes. You are fully over reacting. Get over yourself and stop micromanaging your SO. just because you don’t like his sister doesn’t mean he has to nor does your feelings dictate his feelings for his sister and friend. You are the issue here. I have friends who I haven’t seen in years but would love to catch up once n awhile."
"I could see the cause for concern, I’d discuss it with your husband. Tell him how it makes you feel."
"Over reacting for sure. Get a grip and move on"
"I really don’t see this as a big deal. You can’t control every little thing that he does. If you really think something will happen just have her always bring the friend to your house so you can watch them."
"Yes… .you are over reacting… you obviously have that man on a short leash…and you try to put his sister on a short leash. How can she disrespect you with childhood stories. It isn’t like she is telling your husband she wishes he would have married this friend…in front of you. He did have a life before.you. And I guarantee he will have a life after you if you don’t change your ways."
"So go with him. My siblings best friends are family to us. I think I see them every time I’ve been home. There’s nothing to back up a negative reason why he can’t catch up with a family friend. Why can’t you go with and have a nice time. Ask her about funny stories about him growing up… If you have such little trust in your partner why are you together?"
"What now?!! He sees his mate sometimes and you have a problem with this? If her marriage is struggling, she needs her friends. Your feller is her friend. Get a grip!!"
"My man has 8 sisters if I acted this way everytime one of the girls life long friends whated to say hi to my man I’d be crazy insane and he’d drop me like a bag of rocks…calm down…this is more ur prob then his and looking to him to fix ur prob isnt gonna get u anywhere!"
"Sounds a lot like jealousy to me. You haven’t given not one legit reason as to why your husband can’t see her. Just because she’s more his sister friend then his doesn’t mean it’s not his friend as well. My best friend from high school lives out of state we don’t talk all the time and he’s married but when he comes to town we link up and have lunch or just talk. I don’t have hi talk to him every day for him to be my friend nor do you have to know every last one of his friends."
"You’re overreacting! Everyone has a past. Stories of his childhood and the time before he met you, shouldn’t upset you. If you can’t trust your husband, you shouldn’t be married to him. It’s as simple as that."
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