Please remain anonymous. I have a good relationship with my boyfriend; we’ve know each other for 4 years, dating for one. I’m currently seven months pregnant. We are signing the lease to an apartment tomorrow. Today the unexpected happened, on my birthday my heart shattered. I received a Facebook message from a crazy ex-baby daddy from a girl my boyfriend said he went out with twice before we started dating. He said it was nothing serious because this supposed crazy ex-baby daddy found out and started threatening my boyfriend, and my boyfriend said he didn’t want any problems and told the girl to leave him alone, and that was that. Now in the message, it said that they had made plans to see each other last Friday night. Now last Friday night, he worked, and after work, he went out for drinks with his friend, and I know this because he FaceTimed me as usual. But then this crazy ex sent me my boyfriend’s number and described to me his car, which he all changed during the time we were dating. My boyfriend has never hidden his phone from me, and I know his password and everything so I don’t know what to believe. My boyfriend tells me it’s some miserable crazy ex that just wants to hurt other people because he got hurt. What should I do?
If he’s shown you no reason to doubt his loyalty, I’d believe your boyfriend. If you’ve known him 4 years, think about if you think it’s something he’d really do.
Ask to check his phone, if he says something like don’t you trust me bla bla, just check the phone. Wish you the best currently going through being cheated on right before my birthday so feel free to message me anytime
Ask her ? Some people are crazy and like to cause promblems just because they weren’t happy with there relashionship !
Is it possible she was there too, but not with him and just saw him? If he hasn’t changed his number it’s possible she just still had it. Also-she could be jealous you’re having his baby. But I’m confused because you keep saying crazy ex baby daddy? Do you mean baby mommy? Does your boyfriend have a child with her?
Nah believe her . Don’t get the place . Except help .
It sounds to me like you should trust your boyfriend until he shows otherwise.
Listen to your intuition it’s there for a reason. If something isn’t feeling right then something isn’t right but u need to listen to your intuition.
Wouldn’t there be some kind of proof text messages or phone calls ask her to send them if she can’t than yeah she’s probably just a crazy ex
If they made plans where are the calls or text?? Girls keep everything and screenshots so if it was true she would have proof. I would believe him until she starts showing some evidence that this was supposed to happen.
I’d leave it alone. Block her and delete her. Y’all have been together to long for someone to try to tear y’all apart.
Do not sign the lease! Leave!
Ask for proof from the person who is accusing him. If that person doesn’t show proof, for whatever reason, believe your boyfriend.
Ask him if you can verify through his friend… without him talking to said friend first.
Trust your gut though because hearts are blind
I also agree with the other commenters… why didn’t she send screenshots of proof? Seems like she saw him there without you and knew she could stir the pot
But then again how’d she get his number? Is it on Facebook/public or websites or does he have mutual friends
How about just talk to him it’s funny how everyone jumps to the most deceptive thing to do . What if she is just a friend now you screwed yourself for being deceptive any GOOD HEALTHY relationship should have open communication
Tell him you received this message and ask him is there something going on he either will tell u the truth or lie but at least you didn’t go invading his personal space your not married and even then it is not ok we are all our own person even after marriage.
If he is gonna cheat he will do it .
And you will find out . Either it will be now or later but at least you went about it the right way.
Once trust is broken it is hard to repair
My husband has many friends who are girls but that’s all they are friends. And I no this to be true .
Guys get burner phones he can have a whole other phone that you know nothing about… If she’s giving you that information there’s a reason if you feel like you have to ask complete strangers whether or not you’re right or wrong you need to go with your good instinct because you already know that you should not be believing him it’s really heartbreaking to be in that situation but reality is reality and ignoring it won’t make it change it’ll just give him opportunity to do it again. He is a lot neater about it on his end than she was on her end cuz she’s the one that got caught. Granted you have been together a long time but you don’t know what else he could be doing behind your back. One trick from a guy is that he’ll act very open with you so you won’t suspect the little tiny things he gets away with behind your back.
This is a tricky one… but… there are no coincidences. You receiving that message the day before you’re supposed to move in is a big sign, baby girl! I’d investigate some before signing anything.
Not for nothing. Check his phone all you want. Some delete everything so you’ll never know. Been there done that
Honestly if she’s crazy, she could know all of this because she’s stalking him. My ex was crazy and got felony stalking in the 1st degree
Follow your heart,I am sure you would know deep down when your guy would be lying
There seems to be some confusion here based on the comments
The ex girlfriend is NOT the one contacting OP
It is the ex girlfriend’s ex
Yea but why would an exs ex partner go out of their way to fabricate stories unless there was truth to the statements
I would want to verify with the friend… like now. Where they went, etc. I’d want to call that friend on the spot. I’d also ask the ex-baby daddy for proof. As far as the ex/baby daddy goes, phone numbers can be found public record. You can always find that information out if you have any form of social media and your number is connected one way or another + you don’t have the settings to show “hide my phone number”. The car thing is kinda weird to me… kinda stalkerish unless you guys live in a smaller town?
Your boyfriend sounds pretty solid honestly. He’s never hidden his phone from you, you know his password, etc gives me a feeling he is being honest with you. It also helps that he’s honest with verifying with you that yes, he went on a couple dates with the girl but it didn’t turn into anything because this ex-baby daddy went nuts.
I say follow your gut. If he hasn’t thrown actual red flags or given you any reason not to trust him, I would trust him. I would want to verify with the friend just to be sure and ask for proof from the ex, but I am just assuming that the ex is still holding a grudge because his baby mama doesn’t want him it really sounds like drama between the ex-baby daddy and the baby mama lol I would sign that lease but still verify with the friend tonight.
There is an option to restore old messages on a phone even after they have been erased. Try that. Good luck mama.
My husband had a girl that stalked me for 2 years trying to break us up:woman_shrugging: he got new job, new car and she couldn’t verify that info. She would make fake fb and twitter accounts to fuck with me… it was sad honestly
Ok. To clarify, because no one here seems to understand…
OP’s boyfriend (we’ll call him John) saw a girl for like 2 dates (we’ll call her Lisa). Then Lisa’s ex, with whom she shares a child (we’ll call the ex-bf Loco) began to harass OP’s boyfriend, John. So John told the girl, Lisa, he didn’t want that kind of drama, and John stopped talking to Lisa. Shortly after that John started dating OP, and he promptly knocked her up. Now, right before OP and John are to move in together, and 2 months before their baby arrives, Lisa’s ex -Loco- tracked down OP to say that John was with Lisa last Friday. He proved it by describing property that wasn’t purchased until after Lisa was supposed to be out of John’s life. Now OP doesn’t know why Loco would have that info unless Lisa was with John recently. I assume Loco was describing what he saw on Lisa’s phone? Now that we are all up to speed…
My advice is to not have kids with people you’ve been dating for less than 6 months because it leaves a lot of room for drama and trust issues that one doesn’t necessarily have after 2 or 3 or 6 years. And if they do have trust issues after all that time, that should be a very easy way to tell it’s a bad idea to share a child, much less continue their relationship together.
Anyway… good luck.
He FaceTimed you from the place. That doesn’t seem like something he would do if he was hiding where he was or who he was with. Seems fishy to me. Your bf has given you no other reason not to trust him? If that’s the case then give him the benefit of the doubt. I would tell him that you were contacted and see what he says and how he reacts.
If this was me I’d believe the crazy dude. Chances are he’s not so crazy and is being cheated on. Most of us have been on that side of things… if he’s reaching out to you I’d hear him out, ask for proof and see what he has to say / show. Guys delete things out of their phones all the time and tell women not to text them until they text her etc etc. so that’s really not a way to verify any type of trust.
I’d leave way to fishy for my liking
The girl your bf went out with twice seems to be the common denominator that is nothing but drama. She is obviously still in communication with her baby daddy outside of the child for him to have gotten access to her phone ect. This is a whole.bunch of drama. But trust your instincts. The timing is far too coincidental when it comes to the Friday night situation.
I think he’s cheating on you
Memories. I got a phone call one morning from a crazy woman that said she had been dating my husband for 2 1/2 years. She proceeded to tell me everything about my life, including naming friends that were coming to my house that day for a cookout. My husband claimed it was a sick woman just making up stories. It was the beginning of the end. Good riddance.
Sounds like the ex isn’t crazy, YOUR current bf sounds crazy.
Something isn’t adding up here…I’d be asking both of them questions together…her on the phone on speaker and my old man right there in front of my face…and then if I don’t get the truth I’m leaving…case fucking closed yo…you have a child to think about you don’t need to be stressing about their daddy…I’d rather raise my baby by myself than deal with someone’s bullshit on top of it…
I give benefit of doubt unless you have real Proof not hear say… Let it go… Don’t be some psycho… Deal with problem if it 100 percent sure happened … If he not hiding his phone you know his passwords… Not being suspicious let it go
Let me tell you, he doesn’t have to hide his phone from you to be hiding something from you.
I was told all those things and we didn’t hide anything from each other either, and then I got a random fb message that he claimed were all lies, they weren’t.
Tbh I would probably ask for proof from the ex’s baby daddy before I even confronted him. Otherwise you could be accusing him of something he didn’t even do. If there’s no proof I would drop it other than maybe just talking to your bf and seeing if he’s friends or anything like that with the girl. But I definitely wouldn’t come at him in any way that’ll make him feel attacked unless you know for a fact he did something wrong. Trust me I’ve been accused of things I haven’t done and it hurts, and may break his trust of you as well. But also keep watching, when I was being cheated on I just watched until there was enough evidence that I knew without a doubt, it sucks, but I wouldn’t give up that easy without even knowing for sure.
What do that have to gain from lying??? I say he is probably still messing with this girl…
I’d dig deeper to find out for sure.
Are they stalking him? Pretty sure a lot of this info would be pretty easy to obtain. Numbers can be given out or even out on fb… and vehicles well all they would have to do is run into him and find that out by stalking him to his vehicle. He FaceTime you where he was supposed to be and with who he was supposed to be with during the supposed time he was supposed to be with this girl? If he was hiding anything from you seems to me he wouldn’t even answer his phone. Weird thing is, is why are they so obsessed with you man? I would give him the benefit of the doubt but definitely let him know the situation because its odd. People like to talk and cause problems. I had a friend message me asking me if I was in the town she lived in. She swore I was at some bar. I was not and hadn’t been to her hometown in years. But now its going around I was in some bar with her brother. Like wtf.
I had a crazy lady call me yelling and cussing me out one time how do you said I was dating her husband had no clue who this person was or who she was talking about so do some of your own investigation before you jump to conclusions could be somebody just trying to get even
I’m not gonna say leave. But I’m gonna say this is a big red fuckin banner…
If it was me I’d probably contact the girl and ask her
Follow your mind not your heart
Talk to the “crazy” ex bd, ask for proof and get his side. Your bf sounds like a liar if the ex bd could specify so much. If I were you, I would leave before it gets even deeper into the rabbit hole.
Find out more info. Has he ever given you a reason to question him? My husbands ex fiance tried messaging me saying all this shit but could never prove anything. Im like k show me text anything. She had literally nothing to prove. She was just trying to ruin my husbands family. If theres no prove of anything then maybe these ppl really are just trying to cause drama
Life 360 his ass and show up on him and flex
Girl, he cheated on you.
Ex baby Daddy? I am confused. Message was from a girl though? Maybe hold off on signing the lease? Find out what the heck is going on!! Your post refers to a girl then a ‘he’. Are you dealing with a she or a he?
Run for the hills sis
Ways they hide cheating… whole different snap linked to their number if they use their email or linked to their email if they use their number… WhatsApp allows them to use their actual phone number but keeps messages off actual sms… if he has an iPhone check his apps that have been “purchased” it’ll show you the history of everything and when it was installed if he’s deleting them… oh also I have huge trust issues because of my past obviously… my husband and I have Life360 on our phones, secretly download onto his and you can track his movement and all of that!! Then hide the app somewhere on his phone like off of the main page. Don’t link yours to it though or shut off the notifications to the app on his because he could get notifications from it
Sounds like the crazy ex likes to stir the pot.
Dig around. Go to the source.
No smoke without fire
If he described his car and gave you his phone number, and you say those were changed while you two were together, then he shouldn’t have access to that info. The only explanation would be that he found it on her
I would follow him go where he says he is catch he can’t lie then
Idk I kinda believe this one to be honest. I feel like your boyfriend is probably fine. But just to be sure check his Apple ID and see what he’s been texting the chick if anything. He shouldn’t even be talking to her so
Believe him and block her… Any insecurity speak to him for reassurance
On iPhones , even if deleted, go to text section , search bar , type name or number and it’ll pull up messages even if deleted. Your welcome😎
I feel like crazy ex would have taken photos as evidence
This is why you stay single. If you feel as though you can’t trust him, no need to be some private investigator. Sounds like you may just need to be single
… everytime someone gets caught cheating… They pull the “crazy” card… F that.
If you love your boyfriend trust him. Fb has a way of causing real issues for couples. Youll kniw if hes unfaithful. Trust your gut.
Don’t believe someone you don’t know over someone you have known for 4 years…
Sounds like he likes to stir the pot to cause trouble for your BF…
Plenty of ways to see if it’s true and if you really want to know for sure start your investigation. Warning don’t lose your shit if you find something because you had a choice to leave it be for now and trust him or go with instinct… this last word… yah she’ll never fail you!
Yep she has popped up for a reason either he is fucking her or something else is in her plans. Fuck the bitch up and move on.
Has he ever given you reason to suspect him of cheating before? Honestly they could’ve gotten his number from anywhere. Maybe this crazy ex knows one of his friends and they gave it to them. They could’ve seen him in his car one day. Maybe look into it some more, but if he’s never given you a reason to doubt him before. Don’t let some random person cause you to doubt him now.