I kept mine. Been divorced for almost 7 years now
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I go by my maiden name. My kids could careless
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I also kinda wondered why women don’t abandon the married name… like if I’m divorcing someone. I don’t want their name lol
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Change both…you go maiden and hyphenate both last names. Boom- both parents included- problem solved.
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I changed mine back to my maiden name. She’s my daughter no matter what my name is. She never felt isolated because we have different last names. I’m now remarried and have taken my husbands last name. What would you do if you remarry? Keep your ex-husbands name?
Change your name. You treat the kid like an invalid and he will become one
Uh. I’m with my kids dad and we have different last names because we’ve never been married. It doesn’t make a difference.
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If you have any thoughts to not change it back DONT!!! I was married for 4 years had a 2 year old at time of divorce and kept ex’s last name. I hate it but I didn’t want him to be alone. My ex moved out of state and my son thinks his last name is my maiden because of my niece and nephews.
I’m keeping mine when we finally get divorced easier on the kids I keep my maiden name on Facebook but it’s easier to just keep my maiden name on all the documents
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My mum kept my dads name she said because it was easier. If you think it will be an issue it will be an issue. If your son doesn’t have a relationship with his dad change both of them
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Change you name and keep it even if you remarry.
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You could change your name and hyphenate your sons so he has both names
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I was sad for so long my eldest and l never had the same last name l always wanted it the same I’m now with another partner and have a mother daughter with a different last name and l don’t really care to be honest a name is a name I’m actually kinda happy I’m still my maiden name as my dad passed away a few years ago and we don’t have many boys too carry the name on and he was very proud off our last name Lil it’s like I’m still connected to him my mum changed hers back as soon as she divorced my dad made no difference in any off our lives change it don’t change it l don’t think in this day and age it matters
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Um ok its up to you actually I’m divorcing and I am keeping my married name because I can
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My kids were 8 and 6 when their dad and I divorced. I talked to them about it and they both agreed i needed to do what made me happy. I told them that if I wasn’t going to be married to their dad, that I didn’t want his name either. I went back to my maiden name, but I never get upset if someone calls me by their last name. I know who I am and they know I’m their mom. It was never been a problem. They are 21 and 19 now.
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See I got married & didn’t change my name since my daughter carries her bio dad’s name & he his never around.
I guess I did it to show her names mean nothing & also not to exclude.
Hope this puts a different insight to it.
I wish I had never changed my name in the first place, so this year I went back to my given name. Do what makes YOU feel the most authentic–and you will be mirroring for your son authenticity, and showing him what an empowered woman looks like. 
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Go ahead. He will be fine
I just got divorced in March and I changed my name back to my maiden name, was married for 7 years
I changed mine back after my divorce. But I know plenty who haven’t. Its really up to you.
I divorced and kept my married name for my son. If I remarry I will change it.
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My mother in law changed her name back to her maiden name, but on all school paperwork for all the kids she hyphenated her name
I have three children. Their dad and I are not married. My last name is not the same. They know this or will, youngest is one. It doesn’t have any effect on them in my opinion. We are clear about my name so that if they need help or to find/contact me for whatever reason they can do it correctly.
My oldest son has my maiden name. When his dad and I married I took his last name but didn’t change my sons name to his dads. We eventually had a daughter and she has his last name. We divorced and I remarried and I had another son who has my 2nd husbands last name. When we divorced I kept his last name because I didn’t want to go through the hassle to change it. So my two oldest kids have the same dad but different last names and my youngest son and I have the same last name. They’re 12, 17 and 21 and never once have they ever asked why they have different last names.
My point is you’ll think about it a lot more than your child will
Personally I’d want the same last name as my kids… but I completely understand how this could mentally take its toll on you. I’d only change if I re-married after a divorce.
If I was put in the same situation though of course I’d probably change my mind. Do what you think is best for you
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It has been almost ten years for me and I still have my ex husbands name for the kids 
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It is your choice- either way your child will be fine. My ex and I have been divorced for over 13 yrs and I have since even remarried so I went from my maiden name to my new married name even since. Still I sometimes get labeled with my previous ( first marriage ) last name in stuff with my kids for example - my son’s baseball team has me labeled in as my last name as his just this year. Personally I just left it that way for the season just to make communication easier as it isn’t for a long time. I will get called the wrong last name by his friends ( he will correct them) but that is life. I know I was that name before and don’t take offense. For important stuff I will correct people.
Change. It would have been easier during the divorce. No government questions asked. I kept my married name for years for my kids, then I realized they didn’t care a bit. When I petitioned the court to go back to my maiden name, I had to have state and US government background checks. It had to be published in a local paper for weeks. A lot of time and a lot of money… Kids just know their Mommy. They don’t care what your last name is. Do what feels right for you.
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You know? They dont care. I had 6 kids before i finally took their dads name. When I did they diidnt care. Im their mom. Connected enough
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My aunt hyphenated her last name after she and my uncle divorced. Our family name and her new married name.
I wouldn’t just so you and your child remains the same. The past don’t matter, he is your future.
I’ve been divorced for 5 years. I still have my ex husband’s last name. At this point I’ve been divorced longer than I’ve been married. I personally love sharing a name with my son more than I dislike my ex, and when I get remarried I just plan on adding my new name, so I can share a name with both my boys. To each their own.
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I didn’t change my name at all, my son is almost 15 and we have never had a issue with it. He has lived with me mostly and I have taken him to most of his doctors, school, all appointments and never had a problem.
Hyphenate it. I did that when I got adopted as a teen. I wanted my bio connection and family connection.
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Been divorced for 20 something years. Still carry the ex’s name. Had a child. In Florida you can give your child any last name you wish. I gave her my my maiden name. NowI need to change my name back to my maiden name so we have the same last name.
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My oldest son doesn’t have my last name. He has his dad’s last name. We never married and now I have my married last name.
If changing your last name gives you a peace of mind, do it. But, it shouldn’t have any affect on you and your child. It’s about the emotional bond between you, not if you guys have the same last name.
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My dad’s ex wife before my mom STILL has his (our) same last name over 40 years later. 
They have a child together. When she’d call our house when we were little it was always so weird to see her last name pop up on our caller ID 
I was so confused. I think she just wanted to keep same last name as my sister too. I think it’s a personal decision that only you can make.
My daughter has my ex husband’s last name. I changed my name back last year. It also says my maiden name on her birth certificate and I was married to her father at her birth. Tho my last name wasn’t legally changed yet. She’s 8 now and doesn’t care if she has her dad’s name and I have a different one.
I would keep the name your child has. If you ever get remarried consider changing it then but for now why do you really need to change it
Kid’s don’t really reflect on last names like we adults do. They don’t really care that much. Especially at his age. If you change it he won’t really know any different. I say if it makes you uncomfortable having his last name then change it. I was married also for 2 1/2 years to a cheating bastard and never got my name changed… here I am 7 years later with a fiance and a baby, it just reminds me of the past and the ugliness that my life once was.
I have my last name the kids have there father’s last name has t made them feel any different
After 17 years of marriage when we divorced I changed back to my maiden name. It doesn’t seem to bother my kids at all (we had 2 together). I also had a son before marrying with my maiden name. Now I’m remarried with a different last name.
My parents never married, my brother and I have our dad’s last name. I never married my ex, our daughter carries his last name. Haven’t married my current s/o, our baby due in April will have his last name… If you want to change your last name, trust me it shouldn’t affect your connection to your child 
I was divorced for my daughter was 13 I kept the same name until she turned 18 and I took my maiden name back
My 3yr old sons last name is his donors last name. My last name is still my maiden name. I want to one day changing my sons last name to mine but for now I’m putting up with it. I love my son no matter what and I don’t feel as tho it’s isolating him. He’s still my heart and soul no matter what his name is.
A last name is a family name to me. Not an ex or person removed. Whether or not you want the same name as your children, should have had some forethought if you choose to keep a name that is since removed after divorcing
My oldest has my maiden name and we have only had one issue he asked why his name was different then mine and I told him he has my first last name but once girls got married they take their husband last name and we asked if he wanted to change his name he said nope. I was just wondering And hasnt asked since
Mine was changed, free of charge as part of my divorce decree. I went back to my maiden name, did not affect either of my kids, their peers sometimes still refer to me as Mrs. X (kids last name) I answer without a beat despite being remarried and having a different last name. The trauma of the divorce will always trump any difference in last name
Been divorced for 36 years. Still go by Clark Hall. Just a name. Easy when kids were young.
My mom never changed her last name from my dads but she couldn’t do any of my older sisters paperwork. She couldn’t even get my sister her license bcuz their last names weren’t the same.
If it’s what you want, do it. I’ve told my husband and many other people if we get divorced, I’m keeping his last name because I want the same last name as my kids. If that isn’t important to you, then I’d say change it back.
I hyphenated my name…kept the maiden so it’s there also…
I went back to my Maiden name because i wasn’t part off my ex Husband no more. It never effected my kids with my last name .They are grown now but it never bothered them whatsoever. They have a dead beat Dad who wasn’t there for them at all. I wouldn’t be surprised some day they change their last name to same as my Maiden. I was their for them. Single Mom.But do what your instincts tell you. It’s always your decision.
I kept my ex husband last name cause i wanted to have the same last name as my kids but everyone is different, do what u need to do 
If you’re gonna do it I say do it while your child is still too young to be confused about it. It won’t isolate anyone. “Normal” is what you make it. My daughter and I have different names. I kept my maiden name and she has her dad’s surname. But we’re married. Do what feels right to you.
I
Kept mine as it cost too much to change it back,but go by maiden name from everyday use
None of my kids have my last name. I think about it sometimes, but honestly it’s no biggie. My kids have never once mentioned it like it bothers them at all. (They are 12, 9 & 5)
I kept my ex’s last name for that same reason even though I hated it! I remarried and felt so free when I changed it. If I had to do it over I would have changed it when I got divorced. Do it. I understand your concern but that worry is just in your head.
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None of my 3 kids have my last name I never took his
Was married for 12yrs, went back to my maiden name, my tweens didnt care…your son wont know its different until hes old enough to understand that yall arent together so then he will understand why your name is different than his…
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My only experience would be my 5th grade teacher changing her last name, she seemed happier
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Yes change it. Your last name doesn’t define who you are. Your kids will understand one day.
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It’s just paperwork, you’re still his momma❤️
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Me and my oldest carry my maiden name my husband and other kids carry his I gave my oldest mine to carry it on because I was the last my mom (biologically my grandma but she raised me) kept her 3rd husbands last name and gave her daughters their daddy’s lasts names my sister changed hers to our great grampas her daughters have their dad’s last name it’s literally your name do what ya want kids don’t care if you get questions bout it explain it it’s really that simple
Just change it:woman_shrugging:t3:No biggie:ok_hand:t3:two of my boy’s have hyphenated last names but I only use my last name for their last name’s LOL 
Only one of my kids have my last name and that’s bc I’m married to his father now, it’s not a bad thing to wanna change it back
It’s not the name that matters, it’s all in how you treat your kids. So if you start a new family and push them aside then that would be the issue but as long as you don’t lead on that you started a new family then they will be fine
I will be going through a divorce this year. I’m changing my name back. I have 4 kids. They know I’m changing it and wish that they could change theirs too…which is sad.
Hyphenate? Either his or yours
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I get the fear I think you should change it just make sure you let the kids know how much you love them and care for them maybe take them out for something fun and just have a good time and talk to them
I went back to my maiden name after both my divorces. I had 3 kids from my 1st marriage and I just didn’t want to keep his last name nor my 2nd ex husbands last name. I didn’t want any association with what their last names brought, especially my 2nd ex husband
Could always hyphenate your maiden and married name so you can have both? Then you can use maiden name primarily if you wanted but then on actual paperwork you’d still share a name with your kiddo.
My mom kept our last name for my sister’s sake and now we are older she wishes she wasn’t tied to the last name like that as we will be married and change it one day.
Being you have a boy it’s a bit different situation but it’s just a name… he’s young enough that it will be normal for you to have a different name for him… do what you like best.
I know a women that changed her last name completely different from both.
Or you could torture yourself and hyphenate your name.
Why not hyphenate yours and his?
My mom and bio dad divorced when I was 1, she met my dad (tech step-dad but only father I have ever known and bio has never seen me since he left us) before I was 2, they married and had my brother. The 3 of them obviously have the same last name and mine was never changed (bio dad refused for allow adoption 
) anywho it never bothered me that my name was different and I answered to my own last name or my family last name (like at church). When I got married, I was so excited to change my last name. I chose to keep my middle name and just drop my last name for my husbands.
So from your child’s perspective, don’t over think it… you never know who you will met or how your life is going to change and we kids are so much stronger and resilient that most adults are prepared for. If changing your last name makes you a happier/healthier person, please do it. Your little would rather have a happy momma than a name he won’t even learn how to spell for years to come. 
As a child who has her pos fathers last name after my mom went back to her madien name, I can tell you now, it never bothered me. I know who I belong to. I’m a stuerke by heart, but not by name. I have the opportunity to change my name to my moms last name but I see no point in it as I am female and am engaged.
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I’m not divorce yet but we have not been together for 3 years and when we do get divorced I am keeping his last name bc I want the last name the same as my kids I know my kids wont care and I have way to much stuff I would have to re do with my maiden name.
I kept mine and have husbands also When I remarried. My kids have both my last name and their father’s but they only choose to use mine, my babies with my husband now only have his. 
it’s whatever. The hard part is getting a divorce. Lol
You can always leave it up to him, as my family did and still does.
Isolating your son?
I thinking your problem lies deeper girly.
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Could you change both your names? You change back to your maiden name and just add your maiden name to you sons? That way your son has both his parents last name? Honestly asking and if so there’s a suggestion for you.
My kids have both my last names… I wasn’t married and never have been… But they mine… I raise them solo I’m collecting all that…
My son and I go by different last names. When people (not minding their own business) ask him about it. He simply shrugs and tells them " my mom and I don’t share the same father😁.
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My kids have their father’s last name and I have my maiden. I still get called Mrs. -insert their last name- at doctor’s appointments and whatnot and it’s extremely frustrating seeing that I’m engaged to someone else whom they call daddy. I hate it and wish they had my last name but they will grow and know who raised them and know last names don’t matter.
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I would never keep an exs name. For me thats way to weird once i found someone new to continue to use another mans last name that im no longer with. Im currently married now & my son from ex has his dads name & mine & my husbands daughter has our last name & my son knows he has a different name(hes 4) but he still knows hes also a MacLeod as well & its only a name. As well, my ex & his wife is due with their 1st together & that child will have same last name as my son & all of us are raising the 3 of them to be siblings even though my daughter & their son rnt related. Also doesnt affect us in anyway in that The school all knows who parents & step parents are etc. & really i could care less if other people think its weird my son has a different name. He loves his dad & i wouldnt change his name just cuz we didnt work out, but im also not keeping my exs name.
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I kept my ex name only because I want to have same name as my daughter it has no connotations it’s just a name. I changed when I left first husband no kids tho but this one it’s just easier and it does not really feel necessary I feel it’s more important for us to have the same name (me and my daughter)
My aunt hyphenated her maiden name with her children’s last name. She’d change it when she remarried and when she divorced it went right back to the hyphenated name. She just tells people the first part of her last name unless it’s a government agency
As a child of divorced parents I don’t think it matters your son knows your his mother my moms name was always different from mine now she is remarried and it remains different. Parents divorced when I was six. Kicker my father don’t even have the same last name as me anymore as he changes his last name with every marriage.
You should change it back to your name. You’re not together anymore, it’s not right to keep it. Your kid will be fine.
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I kept my married name because I made my maiden name my middle name because didn’t have one. I go by my first and middle/maiden on everything but legal documents. My kids know me as both. They don’t have an issue with it.
Growing up my last name was different then my families, so as grown up I want my children to have the same last name as me. Lol silly but I hated growing up and the teachers calling my parents the wrong last name all the time.
My kids last name is different than mine. They don’t care a bit.
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I have my fathers name my mum has her own name i never felt isolated from either of them
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My mums getting re-married this year shes still using our name but i wont be changing mine to her new husbands when she does… youve had your name this long why would you want to change it back?
I was married for 13 years and when I got divorced I kept my ex-husbands last name legally. I want the same last name as my children as we have 2 kids together. I probably wont ever change it back unless way way down the road I decide to remarry. My boyfriend doesn’t care what my last name is. So its definitely not an issue. Do what you want to do. No need to change it if you dont want to.
It’s just a name…im sure there are other things to stress over
why,you change it if you Re married,
Main question is what goal will you be accomplishing by changing your name? I’m just curious as to why you didn’t change it as part of your divorce, were you asked if you wanted to take your maiden name back. When I divorced I didn’t change my last name back simply because I didn’t want the hassle. I knew one day down the road even a few years later I’d eventually remarry and I was right so I got my name changed. Along with changing my name on everything I had for years. Listed below👇
A few reasons why I didn’t change my name after my divorce $$$
It costs money for you to do
It, if you don’t do it as part of your divorce you then have to pay
You also have to change EVERYTHING…
License
Social security card
Bank info
Insurance
School/day care info
Work
Utilities
Any and everything you have your name on must be changed.
Yes it’s doable but it’s a pain. So if changing your name is only because you don’t want his last name then I’d consider all the pros and cons before I jumped in feet first.
As for your son, your his mom that’s all he cares about your name could be Big bird and he’d still love you just the same.
My kids took my name … change both of your names