Hi there! I’m a bit stuck regarding changing my last name. I was married to my ex-husband for about two & a half years. I’ve since been divorced for several months. We have a two-year-old son. I desperately want to change my last name back to my maiden name. I haven’t for fear that I’m isolating my son. Thoughts?
22 Likes
I’m sorry I don’t understand
I would always want the same last name as my child 
3 Likes
I’m divorced with two sons. I kept my married name because of my boys.
1 Like
No. A name won’t do that. Attitude will
4 Likes
Your son has his father’s name. That name no longer belongs to you. Change it back 
4 Likes
I waited 8 yrs I wish I would have gone back to my maiden a long time ago …
1 Like
Change back to your maiden name
I’m going through this process and have a one year old going through the divorce. I requested a name change because my marriage was very tough and he’s being very very nasty custody wise and I just don’t want to be associated with this name anymore. Someday I’ll explain it to her. 
4 Likes
I still use my maiden last name and I have a 5 month old.
Changed mine, and love it
Just change it and if it’s that big of a deal try and change ur sons last name. I had all 3 of my kids last name changed to my maiden name when I divorced and changed my name
2 Likes
My husband and sons all have the same last name but I kept my maiden name for personal reasons. A name doesnt define a family.
1 Like
I’m married and I still don’t have the same last name as my son since I kept my maiden name. He doesn’t give a hoot. Not one. Change it back if you want to.
1 Like
Ive been with my husband for 10yrs…his ex wife kept his laat name because of their daughter
2 Likes
Hyphenate your son’s name
1 Like
I chose to keep my married name. Now that the kids are grown I’ll change back to my maiden name.
1 Like
My kids wish they had my maiden name yet I told them when they are old enough they are more than welcome to change it. Their dad isn’t in their lives. Yet they didn’t care before that mine was different
1 Like
Whatever makes you happy. You don’t won’t to sign papers regretting writing down the last name. Its just a last name it doesn’t defined the person you are. Your babies will soon grow up and unstand why you changed it.
My mom finally went back to hers. All depends what you feel. My daughter has a different last name than me and personally it’s a bit weird.
I hyphenated my kids last names and it’s upto them to decide which one they want to use when they’re older.
1 Like
I wanted to go back with mine until I seen the difficulty at the schools that other parents have had with different last names. I’m waiting until my children get out of school which hopefully will only be a few more years.
1 Like
Or wait until the kids are adult. I’m happy my mom went back to hers
I didn’t change mine until I got remarried. I wanted to keep the same last name as my boys until then… that being said, my ex and I get along really well so there weren’t any hard feelings there.
Stupidest thing I ever did is go back to my maiden name.
I kept mine because of my daughter
I kept mine specifically for my daughter so it would be easier when I picked her up from school or had to take to the dr etc. didn’t change it till I got remarried
My mom has been divorced from my dad for almost 25 years and still keeps her married name.
I changed mine to my married name after I had to hyphenate my oldest’s last name (which was my maiden name) with his Bio Donor’s last name. I don’t match my oldest’s name anymore, but he doesn’t seem to care
I didn’t. Just changed it when I got remarried
I went back to my maiden name. It’s just a name and since I’m no longer married that name doesn’t mean shit to me anymore. My children have their fathers last name.
Your son will always be his however you will not. Move on your son won’t care
1 Like
If you feel strongly about it then just go for it. Your son will adjust. I have been divorced for 20 odd years and the only reason I kept my married name was all the cost and hassle that would have come from changing my drivers licence and passport.
I’m changing mine back to my maiden name as soon as I can. That may be your sons last name doesn’t mean your isolating him. Your doing what’s best for you. On a side note I was abused and can’t wait to change my name. My children are a blessing and I love them more than anything.
1 Like
It can be a real hassle to fly and especially go out of the country should your name differ from your childs. If your name is different you may be required to get court-ordered permission from your ex. Depending on the nature of that relationship, that could be a hot mess.
I changed mine as in immediately… and my son’s grew up like that without any problems … their teachers knew who was who
You’re fine. If it bother you that much change it. My husband and I have 2 daughters. We were married when our oldest was 2. I had a hard time changing my last name to his because I lost my birth certificate and was born in a different state I’m living and lost my social security card. I JUST changed my last name to the same as my husband and daughters. The school never gave me any grief. My kids didn’t care. My mom had a different last name then us.
Me and my son have different last names as me and his father are not married . Doesn’t effect anyone It’s just the norm for us
1 Like
I’ve had a different last name then my mother for as long as i can remember. I don’t believe its ever been am issue.
2 Likes
I changed my name back once my kids graduated from high school
As a product of a broken home, an as a child that had a different last name than the rest of my family, it was very isolating! My family always said it didn’t makeme any less a member of the family, but i never shook that feeling! As every situation is different, it truly is up to you! This is just my personal experience!
1 Like
I have a friend that was married and her girls had her married name when she was remarried she kept her old married name as her middle name for her kids
1 Like
How would you be isolating your Son?
I don’t understand what you mean by you don’t want to isolate your Son, by changing your name back.
I kept mine for my kids
Do what you need to do to move on. It’s okay for him to have a name with daddy. He gets to be with you and share a name with daddy. Completely normal. I mean you might get married again so your name would be different then mabe. Right? 
2 Likes
My mom didn’t and I thought it was weird.
I never took my husband’s name (either of them) & gave my daughter my last name; my son has his dad’s last name. Nobody cares. The only name that matters to your little one is “Mommy.”
I’m going to be getting a divorce and I’m just going to keep my married name. If you want to change your name back to your maiden name, then do it.
I kept my married name, because when my boys started school, our last name is the same. Kids are cruel & growing up is hard enough. Kids are mean, it’s one less reason to deal with
1 Like
I didn’t change for the same reason you state. Years later, my daughters married and have a different name and my son legally changed his name!!! Left me as the only one with the name and regrets!!! Change it!!
Do what you feel is best. I took my maiden name back and the kids just know that they get their dads last name because that’s how it works. 
This is so dumb just grow a pair and change it A name doesn’t change dna or the fact that you’re his mother.
4 Likes
I’ve never had the same name as my children. No one has ever questioned it and ita never made a difference in any way. My 4yo knows hos full name, mine amd his dads and sisters in case he geys lost. Hes neber asked why my name is different How ridiculous.
I’m married to my daughters dad and she has his last name but I never changed mine
My mother remarried and had a different last name. It didn’t make any difference.
I have 3 kids and only share a last name with one. All of them have their fathers’ last names…and I was only married to my late husband. (my oldest’s father and I split due to abuse) My youngest daughter’s father and I have been together since 2011 and if we ever get married, I may or may not take his last name…
Doesn’t seem to affect my kids any tho…
You can always hyphenate ypurons last name? I am married but havent changed my last name i have 3 kids they all have their dads last name
1 Like
Ok so been there done that.
I got divorced, kept my married name to match my kids…
Remarried and had another child. Felt guilty for matching the new husband and baby and not my other 2…
Divorced #2, and went back to my first married name because husband #1 and I reconciled and #2 was downright horrible and I personally didn’t wanna live with his name any longer myself.
Now I match my ex husband (now boyfriend) and my other 2 kids… and my youngest is the one different one…
I debated going back to maiden and saying screw it I won’t match none of them, that way I don’t have the guilt of picking and making any feel less like part of the family because of their name not matching…
My attorney and all my close friends and family told me … you’re thinking way too hard about this.
Be a good mom, love and treat them all equally, and no one will feel isolated or less than… and I truly believe that will be the case.
Just respect your ex the best that you can, don’t bad mouth your kids dad in front of him, and everything will be fine and your child’s feelings will be protected.
I do not regret my decision at all.
I’m 33… my mom and dad have been divorced since I was an infant… my mom still has my dad’s last name and I think she kept it so she’d have the same last name as me and my sister… honestly even if she changed it back to her maiden name all those years ago it wouldn’t have mattered to me 
You could change yours back to your maiden name and hyphenate your son’s.
That’s a bit to undertake. It depends on how important it is to you that
A) your son might feel alienated
B) you just can’t imagine living the next 16 years (or remarriage) using your exhusbands name.
I never changed from my maiden name and it didn’t bother my children at all. It caused no problems at school. But I didn’t travel…only crossed the border into the States (I’m Canadian) once with my youngest daughter. It was before we needed a passport… Only show birth certificates. My daughter was 11 yrs old. The border security just asked her a few questions…if I was her mom, what was MY name, etc
Travel with the children might cause you problems now since 9-11, and more diligence with child abduction, a lot has changed. And rightly so.
You need to consider all of the pros & cons.
I’d change it back. My husband and I are married almost 5 years now and I have not legally changed my last name and don’t think I ever will. Our daughter knows all our names and she has not even bothered to ask or even noticed, she’s a kid and nothing in her life has changed. On another note I’ve worked in a hotel where a mom remarried and her son had a different last name he was 8 and feeling left out so they legally changed his name to her new husbands and we did a mock ceremony to celebrate. Little guy was 8 years old and happiest in the world. My take? Give up that last name if u want to it will mentally free you and thats what your kiddo needs a happy mommy with the last name she wants!
2 Likes
This legit has nothing to do with your son… change your name and move on. He still has a father that YOU CHOSE to give him HIS FATHERS last name.
5 Likes
My fiance and I have been together almost 7 years. We have two children and are just waiting until we are financially stable to have a big wedding. I told him we need a house before we wast money on a wedding party lol. At times I wish my last name matched my children but I love my last name and at this point I would rather just hyphen it with his.
Hope that helps.
1 Like
My son is 9 and has his fathers last name … Never been married … Never have i isolated my son over my maiden name 🤦
1 Like
In the grand scheme of things, is really that big of deal? Your the same person either way.
You should do how you feel you are comfortable. I personally would keep my his name if we were to divorce. But that’s just me.
Well i have a different last name than all 4 of my kids. My 3 oldest kids dad changed his last name when he got married and took his wife’s maiden name as his new last name leaving his 3 children out in the world with a different last name than both if their parents. You should make sure that your ex will keep his last name of he ever gets married before you change your name. Just a thought. I know its uncommon but it’s this new age thing men are doing these days so just make sure. Now I have to ho through so much legal crap to get my kids last name changed to my last name because I think its absurd to allow them to walk around with some random last name that doesn’t belong to their mother or father.
1 Like
Me and my kids dad never married they have his name… i have my maiden name if i got married id still not take his name… im super thran and i always say I’d never give away my dads name to anyone lol
Isolating you son? How would you be doing that if he has his dads name?
2 Likes
Angela cause she would have one name and he would have another. I stayed with my married name. Made things easier for me and my son. But I was with my husband for 10 years. Now a days many Mom’s don’t change their name or hyphenate it.
I don’t have the same last name as.my kids because I never took my husband’s name. I was gonna hyphenate it but I was just too much trouble so I just left my name. My kids have their dads last name. Sometimes I think about changing it so we all match, but I don’t think it isolates my kids. They are still my babies and I’m still their mommy no matter what my name is. Do what feels right for you and what brings you peace, all that matters is your babies know they are loved. 
Here’s a funny story, my ex bioglical sure name was his mother’s at four his step dad and mother changed it because he was supposed adopt him but never did walked out in him years later he was planning on changing back his brith surename so when are children where born they got his brith surename, 10 years later he never changed it to his sure name because he’s extremely cheap and lazy my kids have different names then me and their dad, honestly its just a last name I would never want to keep my ex last name I’d want to move on, your child should have it because it’s his father still
My husband and I were married for 18 months we divorced I took back my maiden name 9 years later we got back together and remarried I then hyphenated my name so I could use either or strange thing is after he died all my doctors want both names listed all my legal documents they want both so when we were married 30 years I didn’t have a problem when he died now I have this problem
My daughter was given my maiden name and I’m now married with a different last name and she’s perfectly fine. She’s almost 16 so if was a prob for her she would definitely told me something. I’ve never had any legal or school issues or anything problematic.
1 Like
I didn’t change my name when we married but did the day after my son asked me why my last name was different than his and daddys so I hyphenated it 
. Had my son not felt sad about it I wouldn’t have changed it.
Up to you, no one can really decide. Do you wanna keep the same name just for your son or would it be better to leave his name in the past. It’s a name, doesn’t define who you are
While it really won’t isolate your son in the way you think, I understand what you mean. I didn’t have either of my parent’s last name. Mom’s brilliant idea waz to give me her gma’s last name lol. For a little while I asked my paternal gma who I lived with until 14, why didn’t I have my dad’s last name, it confused me, but I got through it though and understood that sometimes it just happens when parents arent together. Eventually I went to live with my dad and he was able to get my last name changed to his. Best feeling ever.
Change your last name if you want to, you’ll more than likely feel better about yourself and the situation. As long as your son has at least his father’s last name he will be okay. Best of luck.
I changed mine , it was a bitter divorce after years of abuse
The way I look at it, Is its too much paperwork to change everything lol I dont have the same last name as any of my kids. 4 kids total. 3 have same last name and 1 has another last name. It’s really a hassle to change everything. Names aren’t what make you family just like blood doesnt make you family. Its who you are to each other that matters the most. Different last names dont make you any less of a parent to your child and a child with a different last name doesnt mean your child isnt yours. I think you’re putting a little too much thought into it hun. Good luck.
I didn’t feel isolated when my mother chose her maiden name. I think it’s okay
I did it over 43 yrs ago when I got divorced, it didn’t bother my kids, though they were young, & even as they got older, it didn’t bother them then either. And there was not a lot of paper work, the bank was the only place I had to go to change my name. I had no CC’s at that time , again not much of a problem.
1 Like
It is only a name if you get remarried you would be changing your name do what you want
If you had been married longer than 10 years I would say dont change it. But 2 years go ahead no big deal.
if you think you’ll be happy with your last name being your first last name then do it.
I few up with a family of four and there were three last names. my mom’s and stepdads last name, my older brother’s last name and my last name were all diffrent. It’ll be ok. and if one day he asks why it’s diffrent, just tell him the truth.
I think you should keep it. For your chold
When my parents split up my mom always kept her married name to have the same last name as me… and if something ever happen with my husband and I, I would keep his name to have it with my kids.
Think of it this way, if you remarried in a comme years, and you took the new last name, would you have the same feeling?
I kept my married name because I liked the name better than my maiden name. There are plenty of families made up of different last names. I don’t believe a child will truly have a feeling about it. (My mom remarried when I was 11 and thereafter had a different last name. It wasn’t ever something that was of concern)
I recently went back to my maiden name and we just changed my sons name so he now has both of our last names
I have 4 kids. Two have my maiden name, 2 have my ex husband’s last name. I’m now remarried with a new last name. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, just be prepared to correct people.
A lot of ppl will put in divorce that u drop jos nane and hyphenate the kids name. Works for some. Id do it …
This is something only you can weigh out for you. You won’t be doing any injustice by your son having a different last name. By the time he’s old enough to register the difference he will be able to understand why. My marriage ended very badly about 9 years ago. I kept his last name to be matched to my boys. Their dad wasn’t in the picture. He however tried to force me in court to drop his name lol.
Is it worth the process? Is it important to match the baby to you?
Only you know what is best
My exs mother hyphenated her last name. Barber-semrad
My brother and I wanted my Mom to keep our name, so she hyphenated her name.
1 Like
It wouldnt bother him. Lots of moms dont share a last name with their kids. Do what you want.
Do it! I added my husband’s name to my name when we married
Go back to your maiden name. That is your name. His last name is his, from your marriage. Later on you just explain that he has that name because as married parents, that is his family name. But now that you are not married, you went back to the name your parents gave you.
My mom (a widow) remarried & took her new husbands name. I hated the new husband, but never felt hurt or different with my mom having a different last name. I was happy to have my Dads last name since he wasnt alive.
Keep your married name for the children
It’s just a name… doesn’t change your dna or the fact you’re his mother. Man up and change it already.
2 Likes
It’s up to you. I kept my ex’s just cause it’s easier with a kid and all the paperwork. I eventually got married again and changed it. It’s just such a pain.
7 Likes
If you want to do it…do it. Last names don’t make families.
1 Like