This question was submitted to our community via our Facebook page and/or our Answers forum. Responses are also taken from the community. If you have your own parenting or relationship question you would like answers to, submit on Facebook or Answers.
QUESTION:
"My husband and I have been married for 18 years. We got married right out of high school. Anyway, after having 3 kids, my body changed a lot and I’ve had to work pretty hard to keep my weight in check. It also brought back some of my dark self hatred and eating disorder symptoms from my younger years. Anyway, my husband has been secretly mean to me lately. I haven’t worked out in a while bc I’ve been super busy homeschooling our special needs son and trying to keep up with everything that needs to be done here..plus I have to bring our son with me to workouts bc I have no help.. I have missed my workout friends and having something that’s just for me & I wanna go back. He keeps saying things like “you really need to work out again” and he pinches my skin on my arms and sides making sure I know he’s noticed I’m overweight. I lost 80lbs almost 10 years ago and I’ve gained about 10lbs back over Covid and I’m not too happy about it, but he knows how I obsess over this and I think he’s doing it to hurt me intentionally(he’s done that in the past) How do I deal with it? Should i confront him or ignore him? Would it even help to say anything? I mean I can’t make him care"
RELATED: AITA For Making My Friend Feel Insecure About Her Weight?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"You 100% say something. Then, remind him… He isn’t in an 18yr old body."
"What a douche is he in perfect shape? Probably not tell him to help out more and give you a break so you can go to the gym or whatever by yourself. I’d give him a taste of his own medicine"
"I’d confront him. Then be petty and start making the same comments back."
"Put him in his place. Does he work out? Is he the same as he was when he was 18? I mean honestly I’d leave, no way would I want to keep my weight in check to make a man happy"
"He should be grateful that you gave him children and love you and your body more!! Don’t ever let a man cut you down about your weight, throat punch him and leave his ass"
"I’d tell him to screw off. He has no reason to treat you this way. You absolutely should stand up for yourself."
"200% say something. This is borderline abusive behavior (if not already crossing the line). People change over time (especially after having kids). My personal opinion: a loving a supportive husband should always make you feel beautiful and help to support you and your self confidence, not find ways to drag you down."
"Umm I would just straight up leave his ass… he sounds controlling and mentally abusive. If have had kids and your not 18 anymore if he truly loved you he wouldn’t do that shit to you straight up…"
"Oh girl confront him. He is being cruel not loving like a spouse should be. I’ve gained 70 pounds in the past 3 years. My sweetie doesnt care, He isn’t a jerk. Congrats on losing the weight, dont beat yourself up over gaining a few back."
"If he’s hurt you in the past make him your ex husband - seriously why keep trying for him? He’s not worth it if he devalues you"
Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!
READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW: