Just confront him. If yall have been together for 12 years, I’d hope a solid communication was established over the years. No need to be crappy about it, just simply ask him. Observe how he answers and go from there.
It could have been some girls he met at work, or maybe his friend was talking smack? Or he could have been trying to find one certian person and went through the other girls to connect to the one he was trying to find? Idk. Honestly, I personally understand 100% where you are coming from and understand the concern. I’ve learned over the last 5 years, its all about communication. Don’t let it steep and don’t let things just go by. If YOU have something to say, then say it!!!
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I would casually mention it and reiterate the boundary and consequence and your feeling about it, just so he can’t say some lame excuse in the future. Something like…
So when I looked up that group for you on your fb page I happened to come across your searches and noticed there were a few female names. I’m not accusing you of doing anything, but just so we have an understanding, messaging other females or deleting conversations is a disrespect to our relationship. If you are wanting to explore your options and prospects I ask that you respect me enough to exit the relationship first because otherwise it’s cheating and cowardly. And if ANY female messages me or I happen to find out that you are even slightly entertaining anyone, this relationship is over. I will not hear your side, I will not give you another chance, there will be no explanation needed. I just want to be clear so if you have anything to confess, now is the time to address it because after this conversation there’s no gray area of forgiveness.
Then do your best to move forward. Because if you don’t it will eat at you and you will constantly be in a state of suspicion and that’s no way to live. If it happens you won’t be blind sided, if it doesn’t you can continue to be happy.
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The 12 years thing doesn’t always mean he won’t marry her coming from me I was with my baby daddy 16years and we finally got married two months ago. Just my opion on that as for the rest communication is key in any relationship just sit down and try to talk to him ik I’m prob the odd one out but if he asked u to go look in his phone I doubt hes hiding anything idk. If I was in ur situation I’d sit down and just talk with my so and and get my feelings out on the table men sometimes don’t know they are half assing until we tell them how we feel that can’t read our minds. I hope everything works out for u hun
I’ve been seeing a lot of comments telling you to leave strictly on not being married after 12 years. Me and my husband didn’t get engaged until 12 years together and we’ve been married for three years and still happy 
. All relationships have their own pace girl.
Talk to him about the other females he looked up. My husband uses my fb and I seen he searched a few girls, but nothing ever came of it. That’s all that happened, he just looked them up 
and I’d be lying if I said I had never looked an old crush up. Communication is key in any relationship 
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Girl you already lost him. He is cheating on you. Move on.
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Go on, have that talk with him. Just be prepared for “I don’t know” or answers you won’t like. Better to just get it over with.
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I search people on Facebook all the time
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Why were you just a gf for 12 years? Let’s start there 
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So what? Maybe they’re friends. Maybe he’s looking at pretty girls. If he wanted someone else after 12 years I think he’d leave.
Doesn’t sound like your having fun to begin with! Better to move on!
Come straight out and ask him and tell him to be honest and don’t lie if he don’t want you then get out of the relationship and find someone who appreciates you
Honestly in my opinion I don’t see the problem. My fiancé and I are getting married next year and I don’t care what is in his search bar unless it’s an ex or something and he’s never searched for an ex on fb or anything. I trust my fiancé 100% so If I were to go in his search bar and see some random girls I wouldn’t really care. Sometimes he likes to message old friends to check in and say hi and thats fine with me. I’m not insecure at all so I have no problem with what is in his search bar. If you have a problem with him searching up other women then maybe it could be some type of insecurity or you guys just have some trust lacking. But after 12 years of him being a boyfriend kinda says something because you should of been upgraded to a ring by now. Idk
12 year boyfriend… thats part of the problem
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If you’re unhappy and things aren’t getting better/being worked on then just leave while you’re still on amicable terms. Or, have a tough conversation and figure you’re shtuff out.
You’ll save yourself from a lot of undue heartache and self destructive thoughts/behaviours if you stop holding crud in and just communicate.
You only have one life. Make a choice instead of dwelling.
I don’t think who you search on Facebook means anything… but that’s just me
Does no one else use Facebook to look up the correct spelling of people’s names? 
Like I can’t always remember someone’s last name, or how to spell it, so I’ll just use Facebook to check.
Honestly, it’s probably perfectly innocent. But obviously it’s bothering you, so just be straight with your boyfriend. Let him know that you feel kinda pushed to the side, & if anything is going on you’d rather be honest & up front about it.
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JUST TALK TO HIM for the love of God!
Did you ask him about it? Like, he asked you to go in his Facebook and to use the search so I don’t think he is hiding anything. He could have been trying to remember an old elementary school friend, or he saw a post someone made about someone else and went to search them because he’s nosy (I do that). Could have been looking up old coworkers for a friend to have references for work. Could have been searching them because a friend (or friends) want to date them and asked if he knew them. Could have searched them because they did another friend wrong. There are so many reasons. Just talk with him before jumping to conclusions. If you don’t get answers from him, then that’s your answer unfortunately.
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After 12 yrs have you even discussed marriage? Just doesn’t sound right. I’d ask him about it since he asked you to look up something for him. Maybe he wanted you to see it so you would ask about it.
I stalk people all the time 
when I’m with someone or not. I would just talk to him
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12 years is a long time without decision to commit
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I mean he gave you his phone so what’s the big deal
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I think you have already answered your own questions when you said you have been his girlfriend for 12 years.
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Sometimes I look up old high-school friends (male and female) just out of curiosity on how they are doing. Most of the time a nose through their page and that’s it… other times I’ll message a harmless “you have a beautiful family, so glad to see you are doing well” kind of message.
ASK before you accuse
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What’s wrong with him looking at a female’s profile? Are you really that insecure??
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No! If you don’t trust him and are to the point that you actually feel like you need to sneak into his personal belongings you don’t have a relationship. Don’t hide your feelings or start with the wonder and worry game, ask him straight up what the deal is. If you’re feeling unwanted tell him. Don’t accuse him of something you’re not 100% sure of but tell him what you’re worrying about. Honestly is the only way in relationships to keep them alive 
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- he’s still your boyfriend after 12 years. Jeez.
- ask him who tf those girls are.
- you hate being sneaky? But he’s searching up females??? Ok.
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Definitely address it.
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My man of 15 years only engaged still don’t like me having his phone/even looking at notifications
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He wanted you to see this…or he would have ( hide his cookie’s). My EX did this to me as well…it was his way of letting me know , he wanted to start seeing other people…He was married to another woman within a year of our break up… bottom line is : he wants to start an argument…so as to end this relationship with you.
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There’s got to be more to this story… Is there any reasoning behind the trust issues you have?
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If you’re still just his girlfriend after 12 years and he’s looking up other women? It’s time to leave.
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That long and no ring? Lol sorry I’m gonna need a ring if it’s been THAT long…. And I know not everyone wants to get married, but I felt if that was the case she would of said that in this post. Before leaving just ask him and ask if he sees y’all moving forward in the future because you were kind of hoping to be a wife by now…. Just that last part if you want to get married, if not then don’t say it.
I would hate to be judge over my search history. I look up guys and girls. But I have someone I love with all my heart. DOESN’T mean I want more than that….
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How do you know they’re not from high school? Do they have mutual friends? Old friends? Don’t jump to conclusions. I literally look people up all the time so Doran my husband 
. Talk to him about it and be done with the conversation. You also need to address your insecurities with yourself.
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He wanted you to see it. I Hate to say you wasted 12yrs but it does sound like it. I would have been gone. Since your not married, if he died would be a big mess. I can’t tell you what to do only what I would do
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Not sure why a search is cause for no trust? Is there anything else that causes concern? If he had anything to hide he wouldn’t let you on his phone. I randomly search people if I’ve been on about them or I have a memory and like hmm wonder what they’re like now or if someone mentions someone so I can see who they’re on about. Just cause I’m nosey
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Girlfriend of 12 years? There’s your answer
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He’s a shit.
If you feel something isn’t right, something isn’t right. Trust your gut, and tell that mofo to kick rocks. If you search his shit, you’re just going to be hurt.
Trust me, I know all too well. We only live once. Wtf ever waste it on anyone who doesn’t gaf? Go live your life happily and in peace, even if it’s by yourself
12 years if you live together your common law married 
I’ve been with my husband, married for a year but together for 14 years, and I look up ppl from mysometimes. i Have NEVER met up them in persmentor anything. It’s curiosity. Not always cheating
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My search history is insane!! I can see complete strangers arguing and before I know it, I’ve read all 17272 comments, and I’m the whole way on their 2nd cousin twice removed on their dads new wife’s side of the family
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Would you freak if he was looking up men? He could easily by bi. Stop being the jealous gf for nothing.
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Yoy deserve so much better
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Get checked for sexually transmitted diseases
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Just talk to him about it. Tell him how it makes you feel and see how he reacts. If he is defensive then that’s a red flag but if he has an explanation and is calm then you might just be in your head. Use your best judgment and go with your gut.
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I’m a nosey person and someone will cross my mind just randomly sometimes and I instantly go look for them on FB… Male or female. Could be something ad simple as that. But I never reach out. Just stalk basically lol see how they are doing where they ended up stuff like that… I hope you get the answers you are looking for from him. 
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I know this will hurt you but you MUST take care of yourself in this situation!
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No it’s not crazy. It’s usually the case when women cry " I didn’t see that coming ““we were such a happy couple”” I trusted him because without trust there isn’t a relationship but he cheated on meeeeeee" women got to get smarter. Trust is earned not a free for all to abuse. Be vigilant and aware.
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Me and my bestie talk everyday on the phone and we often talk about past friends or just basic gossip lol and we search people here and there just to be nosey. Bit harsh to judge it based on just a search history. I’d say just ask him about it 
I would just ask him about it. Tell him how you feel.
If you can’t trust your partner, you need to just walk away. What your asking for is drama. Its not about the truth, but do you trust him enough to have to ask those questions. My husband searches for people all day long, mostly job related. He’ll go out and meat with me and woman for business. I am not going to question his every move bc I’m not his mother and he is not my 9 yes old son. Trust is the key to a healthy relationship. When you find yourself asking the questions you posted, you know your relationship is comming to an end because you know deep down he’s not the one for you, not the one good enough for you.
I look up complete strangers men or women on Facebook all the time. If I see a police report and wanna look up the person, I type it in Facebook 
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Are you prepared for the answer he’ll give? Depending on the answer if you don’t like what he’s said are you prepared for the changes that may or may not happen or need to happen? The truth actually coming out and you feeling like you know the truth is different… so whatever you decide make sure you’re prepared to deal with it and the changes that come with it.
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Yikes… I look up people all the time. In fact, you comment on my comment you can net I’m probably looking uou up.
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Red flag girl friend
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Let it go. You have no idea who those females are or why he was searching their names. Grow up.
9/10 he isn’t acting any different. This is your head making stuff up to support your paranoia.
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If he is comfortable with you being on his account in the first place then he obviously has nothing to hide. Don’t even worry
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If you don’t have open and honest conversation with your man, do you even have a relationship? I would have immediately questioned it in the moment instead of dwelling on it. And my husband would have opened up messenger to show me without even having to ask if he thought I was suspicious about it. You have to be open and honest and keep that line of communication open whether it’s uncomfortable or not. Dwelling and having little trust in one another is no way to live, trust me.
Call me crazy too then because if my man was looking up strictly random chick’s on fb I’d be having a hissy fit 
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These men aren’t loyal girl! U can ask them but you’ll hear a lie anyways
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Shit, I look up people all the time guys… girls… doesn’t mean he’s cheating.
Why look at his search bar. If there is no trust why are you in a relationship still? Time to split.
Bf for 12 years? It doesn’t sound like he’s all that committed.
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Jesus. Haven’t you ever been curious to see what old friends or exes were up to nowadays? Leave it alone. People check up on people from their past all the time. If you keep acting like this, you may be added to that list some day.
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Communication is key, if something is bothering you, you should be able to talk to your bf about it specially if use have been together for 12 years.
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Ask him don’t confront him… He could’ve just been looking up women who sent him a friend’s request to see who they were (lots of dodgy scammers on here)… While you’re at it ask when you get the ring, 12 years sounds like a long enough wait!
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just get rid of him…if you know he’s doing that why ask??? just get out now…its a sign he’s not faithful
My ex use to allow me to use his phone all the time. Guy was still cheating. But he thought in his mind if I ask her to do things on my phone and she doesn’t find anything per-say I’ve got her trust.
There’s no reason for him to be looking up other women imo.
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Given the fact that he allowed you to be on his phone and had you to search something for him, I wouldn’t think he was being shady/unfaithful. No offense, but I think your insecurities are clouding your judgment causing you to read more into it and making it bigger than it is. Honestly, I’m thinking it’s more along the lines of “curiosity got the cat” kind of thing — like there’s been times where I’ve seen a Facebook friend calling someone out for something and I’ll search that person to check ‘em out or see if they posted something back to the other person on their page. Or when someone asks me if I know someone, a lot of times I’ll Facebook search them to see if they look familiar, etc. Hope this helps relieve some of your anxiety on the matter.
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I woupd but he wont care or will have some excuse
Ask him. I’m sure you know him well enough to know if he’s lying or “omitting” details. I
I search random people all the time for a variety of reasons. Although I still think a search history can tell you a lot; it’s the first place I look when investigating anyone 
So it would also depend if these were old girlfriends, people you never heard of, coworkers etc.
If you feel he’s distant, he probably is. We all have a sense of intuition. Trust it; it’s usually right.
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flat out ask the man. Don’t get in his face, don’t accuse, just calmly, quietly conversate. If he lies, or trys to hide, be pleasant and when you are alone…pack ure stuff and spilt!
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If he was he will just delete the messages probably already has
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Talk to him. Ask him what he wants
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I look up random people all the time 
for one reason or another, if my partner left me because I searched up a guy then we clearly aren’t meant to be together (shows lack of trust and communication) if it bothers you, ask about it. Don’t confront him and go at it crazily, be a adult and simply ask, if his reasoning doesn’t add up, then look more into it, or leave.
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Why confront him when you can just ask him?
My ex did that with me. Found out he was cheating on me as well.
Leave him he probably seeing them to
He wouldn’t be looking up other girls, if he wasn’t looking for another girl…
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Please don’t ignore anything. If it bugs you, voice it. Bc it will be a issue down the road.
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these comments are cringe omg y’all need to calm down
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You’ve been together for 12 years… this is simple communication. Ask what’s going on!!
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