Yes, cut your toxic parents out of your life forever. I did it and it’s liberating. They will not change and you need to protect your children from their poison.
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Cut them off! I am a grandmother and I can’t go a few days without seeing my grandkids. If they don’t want to see them or make an effort, your kids are better off without that negative energy and people in their life! Don’t allow her to effect you or your kids. You and them will be much happier! Sending love, hugs and prayers your way!!!
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I am an orphan, my parents are both dead and its truly heartbreaking. I miss them so much. Dont wait to try and work things out. You never know when you too will be an orphan 
prayers, may God Bless you
Horrible treatment n unfairness… yeah, OUT!! But subtle. Meaning you dont contact them or invite for nothing. Dont push your kids to talk or anything. If they decide and want to talk to granny, fine. Let her call. Kids are not stupid. If they see and feel love, they will go to it. If not, then they wont and you dont need to stress about it. Your first priority since becoming a mom were your babies.
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Please don’t let the children be a part of someone life that does not show them love and attention. As they get older they will understand why you make this decision.
Blood means nothing. I’ve cut a couple immediate family members out of my life and I’ve never been happier. It’s been 10 years for my bio dad and 3 for my younger sister. Both were toxic and I don’t miss either one. Honestly, I’ve got blood relatives and friends that I consider family. They have supported and built me up. Just because you share blood doesn’t mean you should have to endure the abuse.
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Yes, it’s an unfortunate situation but your mental health matters. I recently had to cut my mother out of my life.
I haven’t been on good/speaking terms with my mother for like, 7 years. My life is much better. No bullshit. 
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That’s not right at all! You just do what is best for your family! I would personally just cut them out! I just had to cut my family out cause all they do is lie and start drama and tried to get me to leave my Husband.
How old are your kids?
I wouldn’t make any effort or go out of your way for them at all. Let them come to the kids unless your kids ask.
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Was foster grandparent to two of the boys that why iam closer to them. I live all my grandkids
Simple cut them out! They know where you live! If they need you! Cut them out!
I wouldn’t put an effort in if they’re being treated that way. Cut her out
A world recognized negotiator once told me the best tool is “I care but not that much”. So I took that stance with a toxic relative. And it did work for me When they would try to be mean say tell me about something they were doing that my kids snd I were not included in. I would say that’s wonderful I hope you did or will have a great time and thank you for letting me know. I would hate to have interrupted our plans for that Very unemotionally and very calmly. As I gained confidence with it I began to feel powerful and when they realized they had no power over me they went crazy. Now we have very defined boundaries set by me and frankly I don’t care I am kind considerate but entirely unemotionally invested and my kids learned from me. When they complain to anyone the person says but they are so nice to you Never fighting or causing conflict and I never ever defend myself I just let it be
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Cut her out and face facts she won’t change
Protect the well fair of your babies at all cost
Your parents don’t deserve grandchildren !!
Sometimes family is not worth the effort, surround you kids with loving friends instead
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Don’t waste time n e on them
Amen
Whatever is toxic for u & ur family needs to be taken out.
Depends on the kids ages… is it worrying them? If it’s not worrying then I’d just leave it alone. If it’s worrying the kids I’d talk to them first and then if things don’t change then let the kids make the choice.
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For your own mental health you should step away BUT there is a lot of emotional stress that goes along with the guilt you will feel. Do what helps YOU heal and with you being healthier your kids will be much better too.
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Listen, I never beg anyone to love and spend time with my kids. Especially if you grew up in torment from your Mom and I suppose your Father doesn’t defend you. Knowing me, I’d stay away and keep my distance. She would always be my Mother and I would always have love for her, but at the same time I won’t allow her to hurt me nor my kids and if she wish to see her Grand kids, she needs to be the one to reach out.
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I would definitely cut them out of your life.Otherwise your children will get hurt like you were hurt.Just because they are your parents doesn’t mean you have to put up with them.Cut your losses and don’t see them any more
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Do what is best for your little ones and yourself. Personally" she seems toxic asf, so I would.
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Momma, you don’t need this toxicity spreading to your kids!! I would keep my distance to protect my kids!! You have done nothing wrong, and neither have your kids!! You are all beautiful & NEVER let anyone tell you otherwise. I would respect the fact that she carried & birthed you, but, there’s nothing you need to say or do. It’s her move now on whether she makes them a part of her life or not!! That’s not up to you!! I am happy you & your kids are blessed with another set of loving, caring grandparents!! Sending hugs 
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If my parents treated my kids like that I would not allow my kids to stay there anyway! Ur kids will know who was there and who never was,just because someone is family doesn’t mean u need to put up with their behaviour and keep them in ur life! Either have it out with her tell her how u feel and see if use can solve it or cut her off u know ur situation better than us so u know what the right call is x
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If anyone was horrible to my girls they would be getting drop kicked, family or not. I hate confrontation unless it involves my children then I magically grow a backbone 
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I wouldn’t cut them out of you life but I wouldn’t put any effort into trying if your family doesn’t. Let your kids make their own assumptions of your family.
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Maybe you could move closer to the area where your in laws live? Then you would have some distance. It is your parents responsibly to create & establish a relationship with their grandchildren not yours. If they don’t their loss. I would not allow them to treat your children poorly or abuse them.
I’m not sure what you mean when you say they treat them poorly but in your home you are the boss & they & other family members should go by & respect your rules.
Do you want your daughters to be writing this same question in years to come? They’ve traumatized you enough, now they’re doing the same to your babies, I wouldn’t deal with it at all personally. Maybe explain to yourself mother that you won’t allow that type of behaviour any longer… YOU have to protect your kiddos and break the generational burden. It wasn’t fair to you as a child, so why allow her to carryon the same way with your girls? 
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You didn’t like being treated like that as a child so put ypur foot down now and be the voice for your children do not let them be treated that way your parents will realize what they miss out on later in life your children deserve to be loved endlessly good luck to you mama!
End the relationship. Do NOT allow your children to be subjected to the same abuse you survived growing up. My mother was the same way, and I had to cut ties for the sanity of our immediate family. When my children became adults, they understtod why, after trying to attempt a relationship with the narcissistic queen.
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Nah man drop her. Having anyone toxic in your life for your kids isn’t a benefit to them at all. You don’t owe her nothing. She owes u. The same way you owe your kids. Give them the best possible if she doesn’t want them that’s fine. Don’t let her have the most amazing gift u can offer. For your sake and your kids don’t deal with it
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I wouldn’t go out of my way to please her with your kids company!! If she comes to you then see if your kids want to go. Her choice! 
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My therapist told me my mother was poison and I kept opening the door to take a dose. So I closed the door. She never seemed to notice. I made sure my kids knew it wasnt about them, but about her inability to love. Then I made sure I knew it wasnt about me, but about her inability to love
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Protect them kids. Your mom’s a narcissist. If she treats you like trash, she’ll treat your kids like trash junior.
I guess I’m speaking my experience, I cut both of my parents off 5 months ago for the same issues. Life has been peaceful and full of growth. Hugsss
I think you know the answer. Don’t take advice from strangers that don’t know your situation. You know your situation. ALWAYS protect your children, plain and simple.
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Was in same boat. Tried to get out at 12… but didn’t until 18.
Took a major unfortunate event to decide to cut my mother out completely…
I am sad because I gave her too many chances just because she was family.
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This is your Parents loss. Someday they will realize what they have done and try to make amends to your Children and they won’t want to have anything to do with their Grandparents. So sad.
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Its not worth it, even with the family ties. I grew up constantly asking why none of my family was involved in my life like all of my cousins. It has done so much damage and even as an adult I still struggle with it. Our family dynamic is still messed up with even fewer “family” members than when I was younger and just the thought of my kids going through anything like that makes my blood boil. I have made it very clear to all of my family and to my husband (his family is just as bad as mine) that I will not allow that in our children’s lives. There will be no favoritism, they can be involved and love them all or they can fuck off.
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Id withdraw contact-i would just let it fizzle out-u dont say wot age ur kids are-but if they r old enough-id explain to them-and leave it up to them if they want to keep her in their lives-but stress ur done!!Good luck!x
Why would you want them to spend the night if they treat your kids like shit???
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Cut them out. Orherwise your kids won’t feel good enough and no one should be in your life or their life if they make u feel like ur not good enough or someone else is better than you guys.
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Think of it like this, you wouldn’t want your kids hearing what you heard growing up. Cut that mess out of your life, if she has no problem treating her own daughter like shit, i wouldn’t put it below her to treat your children badly. Ultimately it’s up to you but your kids are more important than someone’s feelings, family or not.
My friend went through a situation where her dad would constantly chose his other kids/women over her and her sons until she finally cut him off for good and he played victim, the way she put it, and what I will always live by, you don’t want your kids growing up thinking they don’t deserve the love of others or it effecting their future relationships or it’s okay for them to be treated that way bc that’s what they were raised around
U sure ur not one of my sister’s? . Sounds exactly like my mom. She never cared about me or my kids. Favored 1 brother and I sister over us others. And I’m the oldest of 7. Never gave my kids presents or cards. Nothing. Ya mom’s gone now. Never called me unless she had gossip . Oh well. My kids don’t have grand parents left.
Take the kids to the Zoo, wii jump, wild water typer slides, live them N keep them entertained, life is too short to worry about ppl who treat ur children differently, memories mom, with u r important. If she treats them horribly, prevent that experience. Let us stop forcing love n
It sounds like a toxic relationship for all parties involved, and you should just cut the cord. Your kids have people who love them, and show it, and those people are the ones that matter.
Keep them the heck out of ur kids lives! Just cuz they are ur parents doesn’t mean they have to be around. Ur kids will understand.
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You and your daughters don’t deserve that. Your in-laws are a blessing.
Toxic relationships are no good, do whats best for your babies!
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I had to cut my mom out of my life…not easy but sometimes necessary!!! Got to get poison out of your life, to be a better you and better mom!!!
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You & your kids don’t deserve it. Stop making the effort and they can either step up or tap out. Just because it’s family doesn’t mean you have to allow bad behavior. Do whats best for your heart & focus on your children.
Cut them off.They don’t deserve to be in your or your childrens lives.Simple as that.
If my parents treated my kids like that they’d never see me or them again. But that’s just me
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I would cut ties you never deserved that from her nor do your children deserve it
Cut them out going through a situation just like this with my in laws
Mom or not if she was toxic to you as a child & continues to be to you & your children, let the door hit her in the ass on the way out .
You don’t have to cut them out. Just limit time with them.
Do not cut your parents from you or your kids. Just ignore them. Do NOT bother with your mom
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That’s so sad she should love all her grandchildren the same
Yeh thats not cool parents should not do this but they do ur life would be easier if u forget about them
Leopards don’t change their spots…
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Kids know who wants them around. So stay away from her.
If it’s toxic yes, doesn’t matter if they are family
you don’t need them and neither do your kids…
Don’t keep putting your girls through what you did.
get them out .the best thing I ever did
Deal with it accept she is not going to change.
Sounds like they are cutting you off
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yep drop her like a sack of.wheat
Dropping them is hurtful to your children. We would need examples of how they are horrible to your children to give any legit input. As for you, telling you that you’re fat and ugly is one thing, trying to get you healthier and discouraging you from wearing unflattering outfits is another.
Yup its time to ditch mama and her abusive ways. She will never change in her favoritism. Yes it is a form of mental abuse. Best to cut her outta your life. For you and your girls sake.
You only get 1 mother. If you can live with yourself cutting her out of your life by all means cut her out. My mothers passed I’d give anything for 1 more moment with her. Maybe distance your children from her but don’t cut ties. You may regret it 1 day.
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If you can move closer to you in-laws don’t cut her off just make it harder/effort for her come dish out bull$#@! She probably won’t put the effort in
I’d say, to make it easier on yourself don’t make the effort. If your the one calling her to set up visits and whatnot then stop. If she doesn’t make the effort to see your kids then cut her out. If she wants to be in their lives, she’ll make the effort. If not, oh well. That’s on her not you.
Not everyone knows how to be a grandparent.
Get rid and live your life without them toxic relationship no good for any of you . You will then be happy
Cut off temporarily. When they start to question where they are and why they can’t see them tell them when they get older they can reach out if they want. DON’T TELL THEM ANYTHING NEGATIVE. Just explain that you made your decision in the best interest of your family
Do what is best for u and kids…
Yep. Cut that toxic person out. Just because they raised you does not give them the right to abuse you. If it were your husband doing this people would be jumping on board to tell you to run. Why does this not apply to family? I say limit contact or cut it off completely. But if your brothers are close to her you will probably lose them as well. They may not understand or even see if since their relationship is so much different than yours and hers. So think it all the way through before you take drastic measures.
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Do what cultivates peace. Relatives aren’t excused for inflicting abuse. Mom shouldn’t stay in your life just because she’s mom. Whoever it is, should only be allowed to be in your life if they truly show they have your best interests at heart.
Accept she will never change. Just know you did what you could.
I know how you feel. My grandparents never bothered with my mom’s family. They only paid attention to the grandchildren from his second marriage. I’ve seen this in several families. Your children come first not your mom.
I would. I did it to mine. Such a stresss relief. If she cant treat you and yours with respect cut her off
Cut them out! I mean she isn’t even your kids lives anyway!
It sounds like you nor your children are gaining anything positive from the relationship.
If a friend or romantic partner treated one of your kids this way, you probably would encourage them to end it.
Society has conditioned us that there is a separate rule for parents, but there isn’t. You have to look after your emotional and mental well-being, no matter who it is that’s hurting you.
I have family that are the same way but also worse. My parents never really cared for me and always favored my brother. And then when I had my first child they would post pictures for pitty. But would NEVER make the time to spend time with her and when they did it was long enough to take pictures and then when it was time to leave she’d cried and they would joke about it and laugh. Like it was funny. There’s so people that will NEVER change and there is absolutely no reason to drag you or your children through it only to not even be cared about. I cut my family off and me and my kids and husband have been 100× happier since then. Most of the time letting go and cutting someone out of your life is better than making yourself and kids miserable.
Hell no babe family or not it’s time to cut ties and move on! I know the hurt it may cause you, but if your mother is not showing a interest to better her relationship with you or your kids d be gone! My family comes first above everyone. 🙅
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If you are expecting her to change, people don’t change. If you still want that person in your life you except them for who they are and focus on what they bring to you and if all they bring is pain you don’t need permeation to do what best for you. (forgiveness ) and move on with your life
look I get what your saying but the honest truth is this have you talked to her? if the answer is no then communication might help. if yes you know your answer
Take a huge step back and see how that goes first
Family or not, toxic is toxic. Let them go. Your children deserve better