Should I cut my parents out of my life?

My mom and I have never really gotten along. When I was younger, she always told me to lose weight and that I was big and unattractive. She always favored my brothers over me. Now I am a mother to five girls, and she treats my kids horribly. She favors my brother’s kids over mine. We live in the same town, and they hardly ever see my parents. Their other grandparents live out of town and see them more often. My kids have not spent the night at their house in over a year, but my brother’s kids have. I just don’t think it is fair to my kids the way she has been treating them. There is a whole lot more to add to this but I didn’t want to type that much! Should I just cut my parents out of their lives or should I just deal with it and accept that she will never change?


I definitely would. An absent parent/grandparent is better than a toxic one.


I sure did was best part of my life gone. She was a nasty bi***. I am so glad. Best feeling ever. There dead to me as far Iam concern

Boundaries. Set them and read the book.
I have a super twisted dynamic with my parents. I keep my distance. Play nice when needed. Or defend my stance. I’ve gone a full year with no contact. I accept it and keep close eye on what happens.


Your children don’t deserve to be treated badly. When they are older ( if some already aren’t) will clearly know that their cousins are favored over them and don’t know why.
They don’t deserve that and you definitely don’t deserve the question of “ why doesn’t grandma love us like she loves them”
I would personally cut her out and that be that.

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I cut my mom out of my life because she is toxic and because of personal issues. Best decision I ever made


I would totally go no contact. Her treatment of you and your children is just awful. No one needs that toxic bullshit in their life.

I did, and my suggestion is for you to do what is best for your children. Don’t let anyone make you or your girl’s feel less/not enough.


If she dont bother anyway continue ur life without her cutting her out no i wouldnt because ur kids will see it on their own n let them decide for themselves what they want i had this same issue and guess what my older kids dislike her but my younger kids adore her because she is more active now then she ever was my older kids are now 25,22,20 my mom got a second chance n im glad i never kept her out if she wanted to be there which with my older kids it was holidays only

If you are a good daughter and mother? Before you cut her out of your life you need to ask her why she treated you this way and now your kids. Try to get some closure first.

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I cut my mother to… she don’t even know any of my kids had them after I cut her… and honestly I think it was the best decision I ever made… sucks to be her she misses out on everything not me!!! Especially having identical twin granddaughters …


I’ve had to make this hard decision myself, here’s how I came to my conclusion- I weighed my options. What are we gaining from cutting ties? What are we losing, if anything? Will it bring me more peace or more stress to terminate a relationship? Could this be fixed with some boundaries? It sounds like you already have your answer and need validated. The bottom line, nobody NOBODY is worth your peace.


It doesn’t take children long to figure that out. Been there.

Do what’s best for your family.

Same exact situation here except the favoritism

I wouldn’t cut them out I’d minimize contact to very little see how that works first given time they might make an effort

Yes cut her off cuz favoriting kids or grandchildren is just so messed up

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Cut her out and never look back. You said yourself that she’s treating your children horribly. Never let anyone treat your children like that, family or not.


Cut her off. I cut my dad out of my life and my childrens. I didnt know he was my father until i was about 15. Moved in with him. Got to know the real him after being there for a couple years. We reconnected. Had a great bond as so i thought. I became a mom and went thru some struggles in life. ALWAYS treated me like i was a fuck up. Didnt treat my kids bad but never really paid attention to them either. Cutting him out of our lives has made our life so much easier and happier.

They need prayers because it’s a hateful spirit and God can change them I will be praying for them and you

If you feel that she is toxic then your children will feel it also. There’s no rule book that says that because shes your mother that she gets to treat you this way. Cut her off. Set boundaries. You and your children deserve better xx


My mom treats my sisters kids so much better than mine. They stay at her place all the time and mine very rarely. The list goes on but I keep my kids loved and feeling special because it’s not them that’s the problem

I have cut her out of their lives … huge weight lifted from our shoulders

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I would do what you think is best for your children. If they are going to get mentally and emotionally abused like you did (or what sounds like you did as a child) I wouldn’t allow my children around them.

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I hate when people say oh she is your mother…well that is bullshit! Your mother is suppose to love you and be in your corner. If she’s not oh well surrounded your babies with love and compassion…Toxic is toxic!! Cut all ties

My mother did this 2 me all my life. Only doted on my sister n now her oldest. No room 4 anyone else in her life. I don’t bother with her at all.

Wwww my eb

Hj hi■♤■

Have you told her how you feel

Love doesn’t hurt.
Love doesn’t make you feel sad.
And real love makes thing right IF there is ever a time when feelings are hurt.
If it does hurt or make you sad and there is no rectification then there is no place for it because it is not love.


Set ground rules and if she chooses to not follow them your kids come first and you will have to cut her lose

Cut!!! Immediately! Cut them out for your kids sake

No use in hurting your kids.

Cut em out. Sounds like a toxic relationship and doesn’t seem like your mom would mind anyway

don’t put in time of she can’t put in time. I wouldn’t want my kids around that. and they probably see the difference too which is sad.

Cut her out. She will continue to do this. It will be the best decision you could ever make for yourself and especially your kids.

Yep move on. No one needs toxic people in their lives

Cut them out. But make sure u go out with a bang. Explode on both their asses, get everything off ur chest​:ok_hand:t3::grimacing:

How will that help. Will only hurt the kids.

It is the grandparents loss. They will pay some day children don’t deserve to be treated bad even by family

She is who she is, you have to decide whether it’s better for you and your kids to have limited contact on your terms, or let her determine how much involvement she will have Let your children decide what role she will have as they grow up

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If it’s toxic to you it’s toxic to the kids, I’m in the same boat my thoughts is it’s her missing out not us :pray:t3:

I got third sentence in. I got two kids and same exact situation. Cut her out for real. I lived stress free for 2 years because of it. Just bc they are blood doesnt mean they are meant to be in your life. Toxic is toxic period. Dont feel ashamed.


If it is truly toxic to your children, I did cut mine out she is so unstable mentally and all it does is make problems! Best of luck

I would tell your parents if they can’t treat all the grandkids fairly then you will cut them out of their life. My Mom tends to treat my son better than my daughter and it is hurtful. I tell my 13yr daughter to let her know it hurts as well as saying something to my mom my self.

I know how you feel girl if you want you can message me im going through the same stuff

No matter who it is in your life, if they bring you toxicity, it’s okay to cut them out. Don’t let her hurt your kids the way she hurt you. You can stop the cycle mama! I’m sure the guilt is real, cause at the end of the day thats still your mom. You can have the control, and not feel bad about it. Only allow what YOU are comfortable with.

If you allow the space for your children to have their OWN relationship with their grandparents and your parents don’t make the effort, that’s on them. Definitely don’t force something, kids can feel when they’re unwelcome :frowning:

Children aren’t oblivious to what happens around them
They can see and pick up on it

I wouldn’t bother and just keep them out as much as they choose

Don’t allow them to make your children feel left out or miss out
That’s when I would put my foot down firmly

If I can count on one hand the amount of times someone in the family has called text seen my son
In his nearly 3yrs of life then guess what your not a priority at all to us

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Bye bye and go on be the best mom you can be

Absolutely cut her out

Your sanity,solitude and that of your children should mean the world to you her behaviour ain’t ever going to change love her from distance,let her stay “over there wayyyy over there”!!

I would tell her, and than cut her out. That way she knows what and why.
But yes it doesn’t matter who you are or who you think you are, if your toxic to me or my children (especially my kids) than you will be completely removed from us


If she treats your kids horribly, why keep taking them to visit her? That doesn’t make sense to me. You are not obligated to hurt your children, so don’t take them to a place they will get hurt in, by a person who should love them.


She sounds toxic,spare your kids from her

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If she’s that bad tell her straighten up her crap or be ready to never see them

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I cut all my family out and honestly best decision ever. She won’t ever change her behaviour towards you or your kids hun. I would also be cutting the brother off if he hasn’t tried saying how unfair it is to treat them all different and tried proactively to change it. Your mother and her behaviour is toxic.

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Seems like that is what she wants

I will tell you from personal experience with the in laws, your kiddos will see it and it will hurt them. Cut them out before your children endure the heartache from every time they see the difference. My daughter gets favored more than my sons with the in laws. They know it and see it. It hurts them so much. They only go over there now when it is necessary.

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Let it continue. The kids will judge the situation and eventually make the choice to cut them out. Holding a child from any family, only hurts the child.


I personally wouldnt let them around a person with such an ugly heart. Tell her how you feel and the way your point of view is and if she wants to change great if not tell her that’s enough

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I would cut them out without a second glance

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Why would you expose your children to her toxicity? It’s your job to protect them.


Let them make the effort. Let your mother call and check on yall. Don’t call her. Don’t go visit. If they want to see your kids they know the way to your house. My mom tried to treat all her kids and grand kids alike. Even when I brought my bf son into the family he was treated no different.


There’s 2 sides to this story so let’s try to look at it from both perspectives.

Make the effort to try to build a relationship. If you were over weight, and it was an issue for your mom. It depends how she said it maybe it was coming from a place of love and concern for your health. Find the things you have in common. Maybe get counceling.

Kids will ask about them and wonder why they aren’t in their life.

Not unless you want your kids to feel the way you always felt. Cut Her Off

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Don’t put the effort in anymore, I’m in the same boat with my Mom and you can only get slapped in the face so many times that you just give up!

Your children are not dumb they see it.

Your job is to protect your babies cut your family out

I cut my toxic, abusive, alcoholic mother out of my life 7 years ago and have never looked back. I have 2 beautiful children she will never meet and I don’t lose any sleep over it. “Don’t feel bad cutting people out of your life when they are the ones that handed you the scissors”

Just keep living. Don’t offer let it go. Maybe that’s how she was treated and doesn’t know anything else. Hugs. As long as you don’t repeat the cycle you win


I would tell her how you feel and see if you can change things if not then let it go

Cut her off :woman_shrugging:t4: parents\grandparents need to get out of the toxic behavior of favoritism. If it’s bothering you that much I would wipe my hands clean of her.

Ask yourself this: are you happy letting your kids be treated like this? I’m hoping the answer is no. Just because she is blood, doesn’t mean she is family.

Sure would dont expose your kids to that and them and dont let it tear you up anymore.they will regret it someday

Definitely cut off all contact. She doesn’t deserve to know them.

It is your children that matter now. They will remember how you and your husband treated them as they were growing up not the grandparents. Yes, in a perfect world you want everybody to be kind and thoughtful towards each other but we all know utopia does not exist. If, your mother cannot be nice to you or your family keep away do not let her destroy what you have with y

Question for all of you that have cut grandparents out of your children’s lives… How do you explain it to your kids? My daughters grandma lives 5 minutes away and has nothing to do with her has only seen her a handful of times in this last year. I’ve finally stopped putting in the effort, but we live in a small town and every time we drive by her neighborhood my daughter begs me to take her over there, please can I go see Grandma Mama? Please? It is like a knife in my heart, so I make up lies why we can’t go see her. I can’t do this forever, so just curious on how you explain this kind of thing to your children

:scissors::scissors: but! Depending on how this will go down in the long run, I would be getting all and any proof you can that she has done this… or more, what she hasn’t done… just incase if she randomly contacts you or shows up and gets mad that you have shut her out, you can put it back in her face as to why
So that she has no ground to stand on.

If you feel a certain way do it!! Its about your children and YOU!!! Surround yourself with love from other grandparents :heart:
But talk it out with parner/ friend don’t hold onto anger or pain it drags you down. All the best!!!

Cut toxic shitt out of your life like cancer

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I would try to have a conversation with them. If they start to through a fit like a toddler (yelling and screaming) tell them I’m done and you are cutting them out. I have had to do this with my mother as she was always deciding when she wanted to be a grandmother. I had enough and tried to talk to her about it. She screamed at me and hung up the phone. That will be 5 years this Boxing Day and she still hasn’t changed.
You will also need to look and she if you change when you talk to them as well. I know I always got agitated and angry and it showed. I was never happy which made my family not happy.

If it is your way of educating your children to cut family out because you don’t get what you think you are entitled to? Your children will do the same to you one day.

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I know way you are coming from my husband told his parent to never see us again… Because they wouldnt take the fell for wont they said to him… Haven’t soon them for 7 year only when they are family get together but never tryed to talk to us we did…

You don’t want them making your baby’s feel what they made you feel !!! Cut contract

If they are treated differently then the other grandkids and not in a positive way then they don’t deserve to b in the kids life. As sad as it is! I went thru something similar and tried my best but when it got to the point where the kids didn’t want to go then I said enough is enough. The other 2 cousins of my kids were treated even worse and they just cut them out of their life. U could see the favored grand kids esp at Christmas time. And that tore me up no child should feel that at all!


Cut them out, been down that road…hurts like heck but in the long run your kiddos and you deserve better! They are the ones missing out on amazing grand babies and wonderful daughter! I have a huge family and honestly have cut ties with 97% of them.


I’m going through the same thing.
Christmas is here.
It’s her 3 grandsons only .
She ignores my 5 kids …
But again these 3 grandsons don’t have a great mother or stable loving home…Like my kids do .

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Your mother is missing out on the joy of watching your children grow, their accomplishments and becoming positive caring adults. Your mother is causing stress on you and I don’t think she is worth it, she knows where you are if she wants a relationship with your family. Don’t blame your brother for her pettiness, move on with your life


If they aren’t bringing positive vibes cut them out. When your kids get older they can decide they that want a relationship with them or not. Sorry you have to go thru this. :pray:t5:


Family or not if they don’t bring something positive into your family, then cut the ties. It’s up to you to set the acceptable behaviours allowed in your home, and around your kids. She can either treat them the same, and you with respect or stay away.


It doesn’t matter if shes family or not, if she treats your kids like trash, she doesn’t deserve to be in their lives. Don’t let her tell your kids the same things she told you.


If they’re not bring positivity to you and your children then let them go. As a mom you want to teach your children, healthy relationships . How people show be treated. If they’re bring you done and spending you negative vibes that’s not healthy for you or your children. You and your children deserve better. Your heart may be broken now, but once you break free from the toxic relationship then you will be much happier.

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You are obviously very hurt. Before you cut ties, have a talk with your Mom. Sometimes parents say and do things without realizing they hurt you. I have been there but I can’t imagine how much I would be hurting if I lost My Mother. I don’t think she will live forever.

All I can say is try and live with no regrets. I grew up in a family where my one grandmother had her favourites and the rest of us knew. When she got old I was the one who took her for pensions and doctors etc. Luckily my other grandmother loved her grandchildren equally and I loved her for that. You cannot change someone else.

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Get the scissors out and start cutting. Her loss. Not yours.

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When we finally realize we are powerless to control others we ask god to change us ! My mom is a narcissist & I finally accepted that she is her own problem & Im better without her

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Cut ties, she is very toxic to u and especially her grandchildren. U will be much happier without her in ur lives

If they bring you negative vibes and feelings then you dont need them in your life or your childrens life.


Write her a letter, tell her the problem. Just dont close the door completely, but protect yourself and your girls…

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I went thru that too and yes cut her out. If nobody wants anything to do with your kids don’t beg just take them around the ones that do. Just talk to your kids about it and let them know you and the others will be there for them. My kids didn’t have nobody but me, all my family didn’t have nothing to do with them