One time when he smacked her butt she spoke up and was quickly shut down by his girlfriend and her daughter telling her to not speak of it again, and they brought it up a couple times after saying that she was making it all up. She was told that this is normal behavior for a father, and that he was just “messing around”.
Now that she’s 18 she’s starting to realize how disgusting and inappropriate it all was, so thats why she only now brought it up.
Since most of this stuff happened a few years back, would I be in the wrong for only bringing it up now?
From the time my daughter a young girl, her father would talk about how big her breasts were getting, and he would just always make comments that would make her uncomfortable. There was a few times he would smack her butt when she was a teenager.
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What is being brought up for? She’s already 18 so it can’t be for custody. At this point I would just let her choose what she wants to do going forward, I would suggest to her to no longer have a relationship with him or the girlfriend, as she tried to make it okay too and defend him. That’s disgusting behavior for a father to do on his own child.
Yes. It is very weird. A father doesn’t do that!
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How do you mean “bring it up now”? Like to him… the authorities?
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That is wrong and his girlfriend should no that’s wrong fathers only spank their daughter when disciplining
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I wouldn’t bring it up to him. He knows it was wrong so no sense in confronting him about it. I would definitely bring it up to authorities. Even though it’s years later they can still do something.
Do not dismiss it overall just because it happened before. She needs justice, even if it can just be yelling at him. For them to say keep it quiet is horrifying.
As disgusting as that is, I hope that’s all that was done 
poor baby.
I would offer her therapy. Some safe place she can speak to an unbiased professional who can maintain a proper appearance as she gets it all off her chest.
I know you would want to know, and you can try speaking to her, but you may lose your shit hearing some of it.
At the least, find out if he needs to be reported (I’m not sure if speech and butt slaps can be, especially if its been years)
Weird behaviour a father doesn’t do that! Are you thinking of contacting the police etc?
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I mean how tf was she not protected then when it happened? How was he allowed to violate her in that way? Disgusting.
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That’s literally sexual harassment!!! I would go to the authorities asap
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Bring that up everywhere! People should know.
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No. It’s not wrong. It was inappropriate and not “normal”. It was unwanted sexual touching of a child. See a woman’s victim advocate or sexual assault advocate to find the best ways to help her.
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Definitely gotta talk through it. With her at least. Repressing things like that is not good for ones mental health. She needs to understand. I remember all the realizations I had once grown. Things were not normal, it was my norm at the time. I’m now a mother and see many things were wrong. Trying to heal and make sense of things later sucks!
Help HER get through it. You’d be surprised how much abuse you can go through for YEARS just going through it all in survival mode until one day you’re telling someone a story about your past and they call it ABUSE (which it is!) And suddenly your survival mode turns off and the lights come on and you start to really see all that you’ve been through… labeling it for what it was, validating her natural instincts that it was not appropriate behavior, and helping her get through it all will be extremely vital for her mental/emotional health and success in her future. Also, she doesn’t need to “forgive him” or keep him in her life…if he’s an abuser that title trumps “father”. I don’t believe in forcing people to maintain contact with their abusers.
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Eww what kind of a father does that to his own daughter disgusting you should let her report the sicko
Nope I think it’s time u find out if something else happened n if so she can still go after him legally
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Absolutely not. She is your child and what her father did was downright disgusting
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It is disgusting. The time to say something about it would have been when it happened. Ask your daughter if she d like to talk about it or if she wants to get some therapy,if not I’d let it be. Her father will most likely never admit he did anything wrong.but if if is bothering your daughter it would be nice for her to have someone to talk to about it.
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A father doesn’t comment on their daughters breast size, a father wouldn’t ever smack their teenage daughter on the ass like that. Creepy perverse men do that shit. So disgusting of him.
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You should’ve spoke up while your child was being sexually harassed by her father….
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This is more than just weird behavior. This is totally inappropriate sexual harassment and assault. If your daughter has made a point to bring it up and talk about how uncomfortable it made her, TALK ABOUT IT. Sometimes when you’re growing up you don’t realize how wrong things are until you’re an adult. I’d be shouting it from the rooftops if I were you. I just don’t understand why you didn’t stand up for your daughter and all of a sudden care? This man would be in jail or have a permanent injury if this happened to my daughter.
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It’s time to go to the authorities that’s grooming
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You would be wrong not to investigate it if you just found out about it. That guy shouldn’t be near children.
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I wouldn’t even bring it up, I’d just break his hand off at the wrist and dare him to come close to her ever again. But that’s just me. 
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If my husband smacked our daughters butt at that age we would have some serious problems. Absolutely disgusting!
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Yeah he’s a sicko I’d be bringing it up and locking him out of her life.
What else did he do ,you don’t even know about
Yuck. I’d be smashing the sh** out of those hands that put them on my child. He’d literally never be able to use them again. What a nasty perv. It’s not something to dismiss. And I’d fully support her pressing charges…
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That’s disgusting 
something she’s always gonna have stuck in her mind
Disgusting. Help her get through this and I would report it. He needs to be a known sex offender.
How inappropriate and disgusting of the step mom and step sister to shut her down and make her feel like she couldn’t express her discomfort. They should’ve been the first to call him out after witnessing this. I’d be having it investigated for sure.
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I would definitely do some therapy.
That’s disgusting and wrong yes she should bring it up talk about it and hopefully now that she is a adult she never has to see this man again.
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If the daughter wants she can stop seeing that sick man!
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My cousin’s step dad did it to her. Would make comments ab her breast size , grab , smack , etc… years down the road it came out he was molesting her. He had been her father since she was six months old. I’m not saying that’s the case here I’m just saying yes bring it up. U should have said something when it happened.
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I would report it to law enforcement.
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So are you asking if you should have brought it up then?? If you knew about it…YES. Now that she is 18…you follow her lead with it…help her through it…and don’t force your opinions on her…it isn’t about you… ask her what she needs from you.
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As someone who lived this… just support whatever decision she has about it. Let her call the shots.
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My dad would comment on me and my sisters breasts once in awhile once we got them like “when the hell did that happen”. He used to call me big boob mcgee. He was more or less making fun of us or trying to embarrass us. None of us took it in a weird way. Now, if he grabbed our butts, that would be completely out of character and out of line. Sounds like this situation happened years prior, it should have been addressed then. I can see if you’re just hearing about it now, it’s common for girls to hold that stuff in for years before saying something. But if you knew this whole time, I don’t see why you wouldn’t have brought it up while it was happening? Not enough context imo. If it’s still bothering her, address it now. Don’t put it off any longer.
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She needs to press charges against him for sexual assault
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Totally should be bringing it up and investigating that. Especially how the step mom and step sister shut it down right away. 
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So I kind of just went through those. I went through something with an older family member of mine and I haven’t really talked about it until recently. Everyone is annoyed that I’m bringing it up but I am grown and mature enough to know that I was 100% inappropriate and disgusting. Be her protector
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No she should report him to the police.
Sexual harassment and sexual assault has no statute of limitations.
She can file charges and have him prosecuted for it.
If thats not the route willing to take. Then she should now as an adult, cut out all contact from him, but there is no need to bring it up and start confronting it now. That will only be more traumatic for her. Because of he seen no wrong in it then, he will see no harm in it now, then he will turn it on her and make her feel worse about it and herself.
You as a mother, let her know it is not, was not, and never will be her fault. Let her know if she wants or needs to talk about that you are there for her. Or maybe she can get a councilor to talk to.
Sorry she had to deal with something this sickening. I hope she can grow past this.
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Your daughter should confront her dad. If she’s not satisfied with the conversation then let her chose what’s next.
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Definitely seek out a therapist and let her open up about what all happened. Therapist are mandatory reporters if she’s not comfortable doing so by herself yet. But this isn’t something that she needs to hold in or be told to sweep under the rug. Her feelings are valid and I would be right there next to her supporting however she feels is best for her to overcome this trauma. I really would want to at least have him reported and investigated. What if he’s doing this to other girls? Someone needs to be their voice since they are told to be quiet.
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Bring it up. That’s revolting that no one spoke up about it when it happened as the adults around her.
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This is not normal behavior
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No. Stop it now before someone else gets hurt by him. As for the idiot stepmom and her daughter they are no better then the father for covering this up and the stepmom needs to protect her own daughter before she becomes his new toy 
He is her father he is so suppose protect love and care for her.
I believe it’s your daughter’s right to charge him. If she could tell you all of this she should tell the right person and get the help and take legal action.
I am a survivors of sexaul abuse I was 27 years old when I charged him. I went to court on a 20 years case. I was not happy with the out come of his sentence but I stop him he could no longer hurt anyone else and everyone in my home town new about him. Believe God is good I witnessed the S.O.B suffer until he died.
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Help your daughter get into therapy, I suggest a program like The Alice Paul House that will have therapists and resources to help her. They can help with everything that she could need for herself and any legal actions.
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No you wouldn’t be, maybe sit down with your daughter and have a proper discussion about the situation then you can both decide where to go from there, he has no right to be behaving towards her in that way
Wow, " just messing around "
I’d go to the police , this is disgusting. Maybe even try getting her some counseling since she was made to believe she was in the wrong for defending herself by them.
That’s her father. In no way,shape or form is that appropriate. In fact I see red flags all over
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Report to authorities and hold him accountable for his actions. He likely has abused the step daughter as well as any other girl he has had access to. He’s a pedophile and needs to be stopped.
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Be with her and help her voice her feelings. He needs to be locked up. Praying for you and your daughter.
Not normal behavior of a father at all​:triangular_flag_on_post:
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ADDRESS THIS IMMEDIATELY ruin his life.
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How do you. Woman have children w creeps.
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wouldn’t that be sexual assault?
Id bring it up to the police
Why was he even allowed to continue to be around her after the first time he was inappropriate with her?
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Were you aware this behavior before? That’s sexual abuse. If I knew something like this was happening to my daughter if be going to court. She’s 18 now. Can’t do anything about it. If she wants to talk about it let her don’t continue to encourage her to stay quiet. Tell her it’s ok to speak up to her father. It’s also ok to cut him out if her life if she decides to.
It may bring her some relief if you talk about it. Abuse victims can suffer in silence for decades
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you seem like the mother that was completely oblivious to her daughter being raped her entire childhood, and everyone questioning how the hell you couldn’t see it. you should have been the voice for your daughter. that’s your job.
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Did you know this was happening??? It sounds like u did!
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She was a teenager while he was doing this to her, it is not normal father behavior! Something is wrong with all of them if they really tried to convince your daugter it was normal.
I really think that’s between you and your daughter. Whatever she wants you to do you should.
I would bring that past up and my opinion would be raised don’t let this go as a mom show your daughter that you stand with her because if my daughter told me this I would lose my shit… if this happened years ago this so call father wouldn’t be stand up straight that’s a fact.
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Sounds almost exactly what my father did when growing up
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Lol be prepared for your daughter to have resentment towards you for seeing it happen and doing absolutely nothing about it. Little to late now love. It’s already traumatised the poor girl.
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Depending on the reasons behind it and if its to help her or just stir the pot? If one of mine ever came out with out like that towards any adult family members or someone known to me they would no longer have contact with my child/children an be lucky to leave with both hands attached along with anything else if found to be true I don’t mess around when it comes to serious shit like that no idea why you would of left it until she was 18 to bring it all up? Even more so if she’s came to you/others about it while it was going on when she was growing up.
All yall attacking the mom, she said THE DAUGHTER IS JUST NOW BRINGING IT UP and it’s obvious she wasn’t/ isn’t with him by her post, so all of the behavior was at dad’s house with stepmom. She didn’t know, WHICH IS WHY SHE IS ASKING IF SHE SHOULD STILL BRING IT UP NOW. God. People. Reading comprehension is essential.
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Buy her a taser. Next time dad is around and inappropriate tell her use it. Bet u won’t hear about him being touchy with her again.
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I would talk to your daughter and ask her if she wants her to say anything on her behalf. It doesn’t matter if it was 5 years or 5 mins ago. The victim as the right to a voice on this issue. But it has to be with the victims consent.
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Ask your daughter if she wants you to day anything and if she wants anything done. This is her story and things that happened to her. What is done about it at this point is up to her since she’s now an adult.
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What about the dads girlfriends daughter??? What’s happening to her. If you speak up you could be saving her life too
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I don’t think that’s weird it’s more horrible than that I’m sorry your daughter had to go through this you as well and I’m sorry people are being negative in their comments
I was in her situation too but more so when I was a teenager and I didn’t say anything and refused to believe that someone I loved would be like that with me
I just pushed it aside in my mind but thought about it
Fast forward about 30 years my sister and mom got into an argument that I wasn’t even there for and my sister blamed my mom for never doing anything years later my mom called me to see if it was true and she will never forgive herself
I’m glad she came to you that shows that she is ready to deal with this situation I would support her in however she wants to deal with it weather it’s not saying anything to having the 3 of you sit down and let her express her feelings toward him then go from there
I chose to tell my dad after years of him doing it here and there before I told him how much it bothered me and he has not done anything since he actually thought because I didn’t say anything to him I wasn’t weirded out by it
I really hope the best for you and your daughter and I hope with my experience you get an idea of what could happen
It’s never to late to bring that type of behavior back to light… just make sure your daughter is ready to confront it with you cause she could get major back lash from them since they made her brush it off back then and tried to say she was fibbing about it so be ready for the both of you to stand ground. Narcissist will fight and gaslight you to the bitter end over the truth they do not want to admit to or take acceptance for, speak up and say something, he knows what he did and hopefully this makes him crawl outta his skin in embarrassment and disgust. Goodluck to you & your daughter. I’m sorry that ever happened to her especially coming from her father.
If she’s bringing it up now she needs some clarity which will involve sitting down with the father, his gf & whoever so she can express how she feels/felt at the time. If they carry on denying it or try to brush it off at least she will be able to choose if her relationship continues with them!
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She’s 18… Let her run the show and how she wants it all to unfold…
I really hope you didn’t know… but it sounds like you did and it’s completely DISGUSTING you let her around him.
It’s not normal. That is harassment and the father is on the wrong. I hope he is not a pedophile. Never in my life my father touched me in anyway. He never touched me in anyway while I was growing up.
My mother’s father did this to her and worse do them and, my grandmother never spoke up as she was a victim of violent abuse so as my aunts and uncles. That makes me cringe and it’s just not right.
That is entirely up to your daughter.
My father is exactly like this to the T!!! I cut off complete contact with him!! Yall should do the same! I still struggle so much for having to had expierienced things like that! I would just cut him off & not have to worry about her being more traumatized by bringing it all back up. & maybs start some therapy for her!