Should I feel bad?

I’m married to a man that is very rude and obnoxious, he shows narcissistic behaviors… he used to treat me like a Queen, then back in may, his behavior changed and he was mean, argumentative, controlling, lying. One day, I found him in his house with another woman and he said that she was just friends. Well I believed it then he stopped calling and answering texts til he finally called and said it was over that I was crazy. His behaviors made me that way. The day after he ends it with me he is with another girl. 2 weeks later he calls me wants to reconcile he apologized and made promises and my dumb butt agreed to it, he ended it with her and we got back together and got married… for the first few months I was treated like a Queen again… then behavior changed again. we fight almost every day, somehow the argument is always my fault over the most stupid things or he could start it and say I’m the reason for everything wrong, that my family and the stress we caused him is the reason he left in the first place, he lies, is irritable, easily agitated, I work a part time job cause that’s all I can find where I live he gets disability, he never helps around the house or takes care of my vehicles or anything outside the house and I’m left to do it. I’ve done everything for this man and more beyond belief and for him to treat me like this is heartbreaking. He makes me question myself…. I love him with all my being but I feel like I have to walk on eggshells…. Well I met a man, I did lie and say me and my husband were separated but is currently living with me, this man is so sweet and romantic, he makes me feel like I feel a woman should feel in a relationship. I feel so guilty, it’s eating at me