Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I fell bad about not wanting to have a birthday party for my son?
How old is he. Have the party some place your mom is not. Not your sons fault
Hi… you could plan your son’s birthday in another way, like take him to some amusement parks (if the covid situation allows) or take him to some chalets or hotels. I live in a tropical island, this is quite usual over here. If finance allows, take him to a trip to a nearby desired place that he wishes to go to.
I havent thrown my kids birthday parties since my oldest turned 2… litterally no one showed up and I planned a big thing. So now we just let them pick a place to eat and try to do something fun with them and get them a gift
We like to do big outings with our kids and do something fun instead of parties. So far they’ve loved it. My 5yr old will probably want a party with friends next year though. See what your son wants maybe? Depending on how old he js.
How old is he? If she’s the issue then she’s the one that should stay home 
Don’t punish your child because of your mother Smfh that’s the worse excuse I’ve ever heard
Girl skip the hassle and go do something your son wants to do
How old is your son?
I personally stopped having birthday parties for my kiddos years ago. I got tired of buying tons of food and drinks and the stress of planning. We let them pick a restaurant of their choice, cake, ice cream and gifts at home, sometimes we’ll add in bowling or arcade or something. If they want to invite a couple of friends to join that’s okay too. I would much rather put my time, effort, and money into my children.
How old is your son? It isn’t his fault your mother will be there! I mean I would do what your son wants to do, & if that means a party, throw one.
We don’t do parties, going on 3 years without a party and I have 4 kids
We do cupcakes and give them money, and go out to eat for their bdays don’t feel bad! Family don’t even call for birthdays anymore
Try not to take it out on your child. Invite everyone in his class and then some, and maybe exclude your mother then do something simple with your mom and him
Devon Brooke ask some life questions here anonymously LOL
If you want to throw your son a party, throw him a party. Don’t let your mother ruin it. Or if you’re concerned, you can do a small party with her and then plan his birthday party elsewhere and don’t have her come. Make it a “friend” party. Another alternative is to, instead of a party, have a Birthday Day, where it’s not really a party, but you spend the day doing things he wants to do, just the two of you (and dad if he is in the picture). Let him decide where you have lunch. Let him pick a movie to go see. Take him shopping to pick out his own present. Stuff like that.
I don’t do birthday parties because I got to experience the pain of nobody coming to my 9th birthday party. I don’t want my kids to go through that. I just plan a day out with them or they can take a friend
Have a party at a bowling alley, pizza place, rent out a movie theater (You can actually do that. Our theater does) or maybe mini golfing?
Do just cake and ice cream
My kiddos are toddlers still, but I’ve literally just had a party and it be just us. Dad and I make a huge deal about it and they both love it. Our oldest just turned 4. And he’s still talking about how it was “the best birthday party ever” for the 3rd week now
Always have a party for your son, even if it’s just you two. It’s not for you but for him.
Honestly, I give my kid parties every year. I want to celebrate it. Let them have fun.
Don’t let your kid miss out because of your mother and how your birthdays turned out. It’s not fair on your kid.
Not about you or her
break the cycle
Do it for your son
Umm don’t take it out on your kid! Your kid. Comes FIRST. Don’t invite your mother!
Do something with just you guys, or take him out… you should be celebrating his day of birth & another year with your baby! That’s worth celebrating!! But just with you guys if you’re worried about others & your mother… either way he’ll forever remember you celebrated him!! Really makes kids feel special yk
For my twins, I never wanted parties. I gave each grandma one. After that we do vacation birthdays. Their 5th one coming in March will be 5 days at the Great Wolf Lodge. We went this past March and had a wonderful time.
Can you park her in a corner with a job to do? If shes fully able bodied, Send her to a hotel 
Its not yours or his fault, Neither of you should ever have had to suffer because of that, Its a mothers job to make sure these things work out as best as they possibly can and your mum didnt do that, But you can 
Dont decide in your head that thats whats going to happen for your son xx
Why don’t u ask people to rsvp
Encourage him to get together for play dates with a couple of school friends before his birthday and if they interact well, invite them to go to McDonald’s or something for his birthday. If your mom is that toxic, she doesn’t need to come…its a kids party
We allow the kids to invite one friend and do a sleep over . We still make a big deal out of it
Leave her at home and have it at a local park?!
My girls birthday party we planned for like 50-60 people coming and only maybe 20 showed up so we sent left overs we couldn’t finish before it went bad home with people if they wanted to take it. But last time I go buy that much food we spent maybe 150 on food 80 on bounce house that didn’t really get used, a kiddy pool got used more it was pretty warm but still were only doing family/ friends that actually showed up and the ones that had real reasons why they couldn’t come and not invite the ones that didn’t bother to let us know anything just read our messages. But smaller parties are best in my opinion less headache and you can get around to everyone and thank them all for coming out
Thats so sad, do not deprive the child, better yet dont invite her,chave a kids only party
Parties don’t really happen much around here. Nobody wants to deal with them. Maybe just invite a couple friends to go do something fun. Without mom no one needs toxic stuff around.
Have dinner with mom, and party for kids without her.
Give your son a party create memories it’s not about you or your mum …It’s your sons special day
Does he have friends? if he does, have a party!
It is a celebration. His day, not your mom’s. Make the change
Put must R.S.V.P by such in such date on the invitations. Then you will know if anyone plans to show up or not.
Can you maybe send a email rsvp invitation or text to count how many kids for treat bags or to order food . All the people don’t always show anyways . Don’t wanna over buy
Don’t deprive your child like your mother did you. That’s not right esp because you know how that feels. Do RSVP and have it at a park or something away from her.
Can you have a party at the park? Or somewhere public and low cost where she won’t be there?
I’d say just make it a surprise party and have people RSVP by a certain date. That way if nobody ends up wanting to come then it won’t be an issue. But also I’d be putting mom in her place real mf quick if her behavior is so bad that nobody wants to be around for my child because of it.
So your money has that much power? Even to your kids? Have the party and let your son enjoy to the maximum
With our oldest (school aged) he has a family party and then seperately a friend party. Our youngest girls are 2 and 1 so they only have a family party.
Buy him something nice i never have parties for my kids except twice and they’re fine
What does the child want?
Tell her to find something els to do that day.dont think it’s fair that your son misses out because no one likes his gran
Have the birthday party at a location and don’t invite your mother if she’s that toxic. Why should your child be deprived of a party bc your mom is terrible?
No, you shouldn’t feel bad. I don’t do bday parties for my children either. I get or make a cake and sing them happy birthday. They are not traumatized, they are all happy kids.
We have small parties for our kids just family n few friends
You want your son to resent you like you do your mom? Have the damn party!
Break the cycle. You don’t want your child to feel the way you did as a child. Your child deserves better. If the child wants a party, you do what is best them. Keep your mother away from the party. Do a small party for family and few friends. IF that is what your child would want. Parties are not always necessary. Some children don’t want parties. My daughter loved lil parties or get togethers growing up but my son was completely opposite and didn’t care for parties. He would rather do something with a few friends than an actual party. So all kids are different. But please don’t deprive your child bc of your experiences growing up. Break that cycle now. And definitely keep your mother away if she is that toxic.
Your son needs to have his special day
Don’t invite your mother? She doesn’t sound like a good person and it’s unnecessary for her to be there
WE ARE NOT OUR PARENTS. WE MUST BREAK THOSE TYPE OF NARCISSISM TRAITS!
Throw that party!!!
Like others said, don’t deprive your child of amazing memories just because of your past. My birthdays were always garbage and yet I go above and beyond for my children. I’m sorry things didn’t go great for you, but that doesn’t mean they have to go the same way for your child.
I didn’t have bday parties growing up jus some cake… an I turned out fine.
But instead I let my kids have bday party friends an family every Birthday… because in the end Family is all u have… an Tommrows never promised. Its how I see now that I’m older…
We don’t have parties for our kids because it’s just us. We do cake & ice cream & take them to go shopping. As they get older I’m sure we’ll do the same or just give them money.
Don’tet your mom ruin your sons birthday! Have a party for him somewhere other than at home!
I’ve invited my sons friends bowling or to play miniature golf and stuff like that for birthdays. Then buy pizza or whatever for who shows up. If food is a concern, buy stuff you’ll eat anyways and don’t fully prepare it until the kids get there? BBQ is always good because you can freeze meats and breads, bags of chips, fruit, and drinks.
Maybe have a party outside of the house so it’s just your son and his friends
Nothing wrong with keeping it small
If it makes you feel better. Make a memory instead of the party. The kids ain’t going to remember his party much there all pretty much the same just a nother year older. But you can do something fun the he will always remember. My kids like the memories better
Time to break that narcissistic cycle. Don’t invite her and make sure you’re nothing like her. Have a party for your son and let him celebrate, don’t let her ruin his birthdays too. She’s irrelevant in this equation. Your son, your life.
Take him out to someplace he’d love to go! And fav food has choice and tiny cake or cupcakes. If ges under 8 a couple dollar tree balloons
I’m confused as to why your mother would be at the party, if shes so horrible that others wouldn’t come.
So you’re letting your mom ruin your sons birthday? He shouldn’t have to miss out on fun experiences cause she’s toxic.
Be the change! Don’t let your toxic mother affect your child or yourself. Break the cycle momma 
Celebrate your son! Make memories with him away from grandma. Do something together and ask him how he’d like to celebrate his day. We always had a family birthday party and a kid party if they wanted one. My son has since preferred gaming equipment presents and one friend at family party instead of the expense of a party where a bunch of friends may or may not come. And my teen daughter likes trips so we’re spending 4 days in AZ in January but had her family birthday party in November. It’s your son’s day.
We didn’t have many parties for our kids. They always get to pick where they want to have their bday dinner and then they get the money we would have spent on a party to buy what they want.
Take you son to a chunkee- cheese party, if older bowling party, some pizza places or small restaurants have party rooms. Or just lock up your mother in her room for the day
Forget your mom. Your life is far different from his YOU are in control not your mother. Make him something small and have his close friends and yours and celebrate your sons life.
Have the party at a park or something and do not include your mother
We usually just invite my son’s cousins, they are best friends, and we do a small party at home. I decorate the kitchen for whatever theme he asked for and get a matching cake. Then we go out that evening and do an activity of his choice. He loves it…
I don’t do birthday parties for my boys anymore. I ask them what to do for the day what they want to eat, offer to bring a friend and we spend it having fun together however he wants. Don’t have to entertain or feed a bunch of people. Instead I get to spend that money on what he wants for the day 
Ask your son what he wants to do. Just take some of his friends to a fancy ice cream parlor - or to a skating rink - or something like that. Tell Mom - stay home.
Have a party at a bowling alley or away from her. I’m sure she’ll be fine for a few hours. If not hire a nurse and celebrate your son. Don’t let him have the same childhood as you.