I’ve been in your exact shoes don’t fight the children will hold it against you later
Of course the kids love him, there probably aren’t many, if any rules to follow, so they can do what they want to. The kids are old enough to decide where they want to stay in the eyes of the court, & if it can’t be proven that dad’s home is unfit, they could choose to stay there. Not only will they live there, but you’ll be paying him child support. Speak to a lawyer, & really consider everything before making a rash decision, that could seriously backfire on you.
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You’re number 1 priority should be the safety and well-being of the children. Personally, I’d at least go speak with an attorney and get their advice on how to proceed.
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Get all your proof together and then get a good lawyer and take him to court and get supervised visitation only!
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Don’t worry about it, if he is selling drugs it’s only a matter of time that he will get caught. And will be out of your life. And of course your kids want to be with him. Dads that are part time are more fun then full time mom’s that have to discipline and be a parent.
When I was 12 years old my sister toke custody of me when we went yo court with our mom the judge asked me who I wanted to live with he told my mom and sister both that I was old enough to choose who I wanted to live with. Your children are old enough in the courts eyes that they can choose who they want to live with. And really what is the dad’s side of the story you told yours let him tell his I’m sure you both have done bad things not just him.
If they adore him then he must be good to them. Just because you’re remarried, doesn’t give you the right to take them away from their dad. You may hate him but they love him.
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Get a lawyer, he will tell you what is best for you and your children and he’ll be honest about it. Don’t make this decision without getting the right information it could backfire in your face and loose them to him. Make sure if you talk to someone, it’s a family law lawyer. Good luck
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Having full custody doesn’t mean he can’t see them. I would take the kids and just leave the state. If they are in danger there’s nothing that would stop me for making them safe. If the courts didn’t stop him back then they never will. You can only pray he gets arrested for pot selling. Turn his ass into the authorities. Have them set him up and then pray they lock the cell forever.
You could try but the children are actually old enough to weigh in on this decision in the eyes of the court and you may lose everything. Honestly, it sounds like you have a vendetta against him and are wanting custody out of spite.
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You need a good lawyer and go back to court at the very least to change the order. I can’t believe they made you do that. The system is broken. But you need to get your kids safe.
Yes, or in the least supervised visit. Have the courts have his home inspected if you truly believe it’s not suitable or children.
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Counseling for them. And regardless of anything that may happen, make the hard choices to do what you know is best for them! It’s easy for him to be their friend because he doesn’t have to parent. But someone does! You don’t have to tell them how bad you think he is
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I think it is wrong to be forced to agree with the stupid judge to even divorce. Kids should never have had to be around him. judge maybe should have to live with him
Don’t do it. It can back fire. The courts will ask kids their input because of their age. They will put all your business out and you might not like what you hear. You picked their dad. It seems like you both have a past. However currently he is not beating them. And the courts ordered visitation. You can open Pandora’s box if you want to. Just be prepared for the outcome!!!
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I would get a good lawyer and ask to have a guardian ad Litem appointed to come in to both homes and evaluate the situation. While the oldest is old enough to choose who he wants to live with, the youngest isn’t yet, and if things are truly as bad as you say they are at the fathers home, a guardian ad Litem would be able to express this to the judge.
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You truly need to do what is in the children’s best interest. Document any concerns you have. Document any marks you notice on children after visiting him.
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What was he really charged with when ot comes to your kids. Is he really a bad parent or just ba shitty spouse??
Can u imagine what their life will be with that kind of influence??? Fight for cistody.Kids don’t know what’s best for them that’s why we have to make the decisions.
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Ok if he was abusing your kids too why in the he’ll you leave the kids with him stupid
There’s no fight. He doesn’t have a house or separate rooms for them. He can’t afford to take care of them. That along with the pictures you’ve taken of the shithole he stays in, you are golden.
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First n foremost, mind your goddamn business FOR REAL!!! You sound so annoying and childish that I feel bad for your kids. You’re a piss poor parent if you take them kids from someone they WANT TO BE WITH!
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It’s important the kids have a relationship with their father. U picked him they didn’t. Its not your business who pays for their food when he has them as long as they are eating… if he’s not harming them I would encourage a healthy relationship not discourage it
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First off, probably over half these idiot commenters are bots or completely ignorant so ignore them.
Second, the admins on this page should start doing their jobs and monitor before they get their page torn down.
Third, you are their mother. You need to find what will work for your split family but keep documents and go back to modify the order.
By the sounds of it you wouldn’t even get full custody anyway. If at the time of divorce when the abuse was more recent and they still gave him shared custody that won’t change now 3 years later and with no signs of continued abuse. Also from the sounds of it your kids really enjoy spending time with their father and he treats them good. I think it is selfish for you to want to take that away from them because of your own feelings regarding him/the situation.
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So I’m not sure how it works in other states, but sole/full custody doesn’t always mean less time with the other parent. When my divorce was finalized I won sole custody but my kids still went to their dads almost exactly 50% of the week and we split all the holidays.
So I would really research on exactly what you want and what it all means in your state. I would also make a report to CPS if you really feel the fathers home isn’t in suitable living conditions and get the children (and yourself) in to counseling.
i don’t think the court will let you cut him out completely. that being said, let him talk shit and be a bum, he’ll also promise them things he can’t deliver, and when they’re older they’ll realize who the better parent is. then the kids won’t resent you later for trying to keep them away from their dad, even if he is a POS.
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First I would recommend counseling for you and your children. Any time there is abuse you need counseling. Find somewhere you like and feel comfortable. Second I would hire a lawyer that specializes in custody and abuse cases. Let the lawyer explain your options in your state with the evidence that you do or do not have. 
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I followed 5 other pages similar to this one… all of then with these fan questions… slowly but surely I’m unliking them. Not sure if anyone else noticed too…
They love him. He’s their dad. He’s not abusing them (messy house/talking crap is not abuse.) End of story. He’s immature/annoying but he’s THEIR DAD 
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Check out this app. If you can get evidence of unclean / unsafe living conditions, his illegal sales activity, lack of legal income and / or any other abuse, this can help you document it in a way that it can be used in court. Consult a lawyer and get family counseling. https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=26289&fbclid=IwAR3ORZ-oeA3VujXbOZ_m5UNaKz5ygoXwZBzKomH4ZH3ajglx0dvUvBIYR8M
If the kids are happy with him and are willing to go with him during his time. I wouldn’t bother. If he’s talking bad on you that eventually will come back to bite him. The kids will grow and notice the manipulation. Don’t make it worse
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Protect them. Always.
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No he is still their Dad
If the house is in deplorable conditions then when the children are there do a well check on them and if it’s that horrible cops will call you to pick your children up at this point try everything possible to prove he’s unfit and go from there otherwise you won’t have a chance if the state already washed the abuse too contact an attorney ASAP but honestly this should have been done three years ago
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I would just request a wellness check if the house is as gross as you say it is.
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The 12 year old is old enough to decide in courts you gotta wait 4 more years for your daughter. You can’t pull the plug on the dad just cause he’s clearly an ass, but the children can when they hit the rightful age.
Seek out advice from attorney and if the house is truly that nasty and unsanitary call health department and file a report