If y’all agree a divorce is best and can agree that the best thing is for him to move out and you to have primary custody of y’all’s daughter then go see a lawyer together. Now, if y’all aren’t getting along then you should file asap. And have proof of everything like someone else said.
Have a consultation with a few family law lawyers. Make a list of questions to ask that pertain to your situation.
Always file first. I’ve seen some wait and the other party slams them in the shadiest ways.
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For one you already share your daughter. Marriage is all about being in love it is loving , trusting, respecting and caring about each other.
If he wants to leave, 1. Let him leave. 2. I would talk to a lawyer but not waste your time filing yet or blowing through money when he obviously probably won’t fight for anything
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Talk to an attorney, it’s not doing anyone good just letting it continue…
I wish you the best
Be the FIRST TO FILE!
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You should file. I don’t think he actually will because how he has it good with you.
By using the equity from your first house to buy your second while married it usually becomes community property unless you pre-nupped, so move on from asset shielding and concentrate on not paying a “bum” alimony, also the way you feel about your child is the way his mom will always feel about him so any custody/visitation agreement with her will be for him
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The Mitten is kinda tricky when it comes to divorce and child custody. Although he doesn’t have substantial income at the moment- he CAN apply for a waiver for the filing fee’s. Sit down together and see if y’all can’t come to a mutual agreement about division of assets, living arrangements for child(ren) & parenting time, etc… try to get it in writing, notarized. Judges would rather see two people try to work together, before it reaches their courtroom. & If you’re not able to come up with an agreement, then you’ll already know his stand point, which will help you and your potential attorney.
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Cut that dead weight. He seems like he is too lazy to do anything, so why wait for him to file!?
I wouldn’t risk it going to mediation so soon. Get yourself an attorney that’s going to represent you, because it sounds like your soon to be ex husband had a plan all along. Tell him he gotta go NOW. Get your shit and go please. I’d also sell your house and he wouldn’t get a dime.
You have to coparent which means yes you have to be parents. The child’s isn’t an object to share. She is of the both of you so you have to figure this out with a lawyer if you can’t on your own as parents. I would seek an attorney because Facebook is filled with different people from different states and individual experiences. If you want a suggestion I can suggest you file first based on the info you gave and that’s it. All else seek a lawyer.
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Well, if all that you are saying is true, you probably won’t lose anything. It sounds like you’ve pretty much been doing this on your own. Hire a good attorney and give him what he needs to move on.
Gather up your proof of who bought what. How much of the debt is his …make it plain youre not responsible for his debts.
Get a lawyer and file for divorce…if you wait for him you’ll be there forever…and tell the lawyer everything about down-payment etc so they know what they’re fighting for.
File for full custody of your daughter but be prepared for him wanting 50 /50 .
Good luck
You should definitely get a lawyer and have him served. Be prepared to back up all that you’ve laid out and do it with a quickness. Do not wait or he may do it first.
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Lady, at this point you need a lawyer and request that you will keep the house for your daughter. Once you file for divorce, feelings doesn’t matter and the judge will see what’s the best interest of the child. You need to start thinking like a lawyer and a judge. Judges doesn’t care about crying, debt or past stories. He only care about your child.
Sorry to tell you this BUT, everything you did was your beginning. Meaning you accomplished a LOT because it was your time. Everything you accomplished are material things that can NOT be compare with peace. Your daughter is NOT a property. Until she is 18, she belongs to both of her parents, so you need to start thinking about two different lifestyles, UNLESS you can prove that he is unfit to raise his child on his time.
Divorce doesn’t mean anything bad, divorce is an a result of lessons learned, is a process of learning about how you can live your life by yourself and believe in yourself, it’s the first chapter in your life that needs to end and start a new chapter with greatness.
And it’s best that you divorce now because four years is nothing compare 10 years.
Financially it won’t cost that much. Y’all newly married, so if he wants spousal support won’t be for that long. Maybe a year. He won’t go anywhere because at this point, he doesn’t care. The only way he will leave is, is he a threat to you and your daughter and you will need a order from the judge. Other than that, put emotion aside because is about business at this point.
Sit down with him, and talk about business.
Because in court, is about business. Get a lawyer.
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You are literally me right now
I’m not even joking
And I think the same thing
What to do?
I think I realized yesterday that it is over and it is what it is
And it’s time to move on
Nothing in life ever stays the same
First of all make him move out n now than let him file where will he get the money to file if he cannot keep a job
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Get custody out of the way first and then do divorce. Whomever has physical custody of child gets house.
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Ok I just read the first line. You file. File now. File swift. File fair. Get it on paper even if it seems like you are getting along well. Don’t let him do what my ex did to me. I pray no woman and mother goes through having to fight for their child back
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If he doesn’t hold a steady job I wouldn’t expect him to hire an attorney and file.
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He only married you because you had the money and probably was motivated into trapping you…I wouldn’t give him a dime …
Get an attorney and discuss your options. If you havent already, take some of your money and put it in an account with your name only on it. Not knowing where you’re from you want first chance at the good ones. Keep his ss# and drivers license written down somewhere in case he decides to disappear. Good luck!
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And remember, you can ask the courts for anything. Child support, alimony, him paying the mortgage on the house, supervised visits and so on. Make a list and submit it. Worst the courts can do is say no.
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I definitely would file for divorce and file to keep the house. I wouldn’t wait for him I would get a jump start on it he obviously doesn’t even care about himself. My heart goes out to you and you’re in my prayers men really suck
You should file. Prove that he’s unfit to care for your child. He can’t keep a job & has anger issues. You’ll be fine. 
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Find an attorney and realize you will need several 1000 dollars for reatiner. Get a good one so your interests are served. First consult is usually free but you get an idea where you are
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Discuss your options with an attorney… including saved money and custody… he may be able to go after a portion of your 401k since y’all are married and you have been the main provider and he hasn’t half worked… sounds like he’s after money and wants to be supported. Prayers to you! You sound like a very responsible and strong mama and wife! Best of luck! 
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Give him the divorce. If he is not happy where he is, let him go. But do not…I repeat…DO NOT wait on him or anyone else. Why would you wait for someone who has clearly stated they do not want to be with you? Why would you waste your time and energy waiting on a “maybe” or a “possible”? LIVE YOUR LIFE. That’s all you can do. Your daughter is his daughter as well. If he’s not abusive, he’s allowed visitation. But if I were you, I would ask the Court for Child Support. My point with all of this is you don’t want to make it look like you’re trying to keep him from her as punishment. You don’t want to look like the bad guy yet you don’t want him to be able to leave without taking care of his responsibilities as her father. Even though you’ve been basically living as if he wasn’t there because he doesn’t help with anything, you’re really not going to be missing out on anything when he leaves. The divorce is a formality because he mentally checked out a long time ago. Seems to me he just used you as a step up and now that times are hard and he is supposed to be fulfilling this role as father and husband, it’s too much for him. He’s not qualified for the role. So let him go. You can get back on track with your daughter in tow. And eventually, you’ll find a good man that appreciates you. But for now, you should focus on yourself and getting yourself to a point where you don’t need ANYONE. When you get to that point, you’ll be ready for a relationship and a relationship will be ready for you. I’m afraid you’ve wasted the past five years on this clown, but at least you got a great kid out of the deal. Oh, and make him move out. He can easily find another place to stay. You and your daughter should stay in the house. And if you have to buy him out, then buy him out. You’ve got this!
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I’m guessing a moody, snappy, unmotivated, self absorbed, lounge lizard type of smoker? If he behaves that way now then look out, once the D word is being seriously mentioned I think you’ll be surprised at how much worse some people often are. Talk to a lawyer, get as much dirt/evidence as you can as a draw card because he’ll probably be doing the same. Better to have and not need then to need and not have. A divorce should be civil but he sounds like a calculating, entitled grub.
Buy stuff that you can hide money into… maybe a trust account for your daughter etc. Or buy something that holds its value that you can easily hide, “loose” and then sell later. Gold bullion is small for example and easy to misplace, you could protect thousands in money he may otherwise claim to be entitled to if it were in a savings account. Play it smart or he may go for custody purely to get maintenance.
Discuss everything in txt/email only, if he wants to discuss something in person make an excuse to be busy, and txt him about it when you’re out only etc. Be aware of him trying to gather/create false evidence to discredit your character.
On the other hand if he’s easily angered and ever excessively aggressive or intimidating towards you now is the time to document it, especially incase he goes for custody. A restraint order when deserved will work in your favour to show his true character and will look natural rather then forced if you did it closer to the divorce.
Of course be fair though.
I’d ask him to leave and see how he likes to survive without you.
Once he realises you’re serious he may see he’s going to have a hard time getting an affordable rental after his mates get sick of him sponging.
Offer him free rent until the kids are grown etc, a set timeframe, strictly as a housemate in exchange for him to sign a contract that works in your favour, eg: you keep the house, something you have discussed with a lawyer and basically leaves him with little choice and works against his weaknesses because he’s too lazy to hold a job.
But include clauses so you’re not stuck if he becomes toxic. eg; if he becomes violent ect he must leave.
I’ve learnt the hard way that trying to be nice and optimistic never works with ungrateful, calculating types.
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In most states you won’t have to pay alimony if you are married less then 5 yrs so at least there’s that… well maybe I’d look into your stats alimony laws. And if that is the case you should file s sooner rather then later
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Youve only been married 4 years. He’s not likely to get much. He would have to buy you out and without a job he can’t do that. So you keep the house. Car in his name? His debt. You’ve been doing it yourself this far. You file, ask for house, your personal things you came with and any retirement assets. If you bought anything together such as furniture. Either divide it up or again you can buy him out or vice versa. I’d ask for small weekly support and make it amicable. When divorce is over and he hasn’t paid take him to court for support unless you can do it all on your own-then do it.
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You should file first and show you pay for everything.
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First of all, if he is any kind of a man, he will be honest and admit that you should keep the house free and clear, as far as your daughter, you can ask for supervised visitation in the beginning, and if he even comes then as she gets older you can make it longer times.
You need a lawyer not Facebook. He will absolutely get rights you can not take them away and give them to the grandma. Michigan does not have grandparent laws. It’s more damaging to a child staying together then it does splitting up.
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You file first, ask around to see if any one knows a very good lawyer, I would start with your beautician they hear everything, and once you get one you will have to stay on top of everything,
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Find a good attorney and start preceding. Stand up and be the boss and save yourself and daughter.
If you do absolutely everything already then how are you gonna lose everything? The way you explained in your story… he would leave and everything would remain the same? Right? And if so of course you should file for divorce. Why wait?
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Those two books have completely changed the trajectory of my marriage
File first because he could go for alimony (depending on where you live).
File first.
Talk to lawyers & start planning to be single.
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Get an attorney with buying a house it can get complicated. Make sure you have proof of your finances including using the sale of your old house to pay the down on the new one. Make sure all liability for his car is solely his financial responsibility. As far as visitations go you can request that his visitations occur at his mother’s until he can prove he has a safe and suitable place of his own. Start documenting everything from when he spends time with how long he spends with your children, how much he helps financially. Also ask for half of all child care costs. File first making him move.
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You chose the wrong man… my god, how many of us have married poorly! Start over… baby has his dna… you r not sharing… it’s his baby too. Material things don’t matter. Start over.
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Call a family attorney. Laws differ widely by state and given what you’ve written, it’s unlikely that you can handle this without legal counsel.
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why people post here their matters here?? lts Facebook not advice center
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Get legal advice before doing anything
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You need to file first and you need to figure out who is the BEST attorney near you for the situation. A great lawyer and you will have proms custody and he’d only have standard visitation. It will be worth the money for a better lawyer and to file first, than getting stuck paying him anything. Especially considering you have fine mostly all the physical work with the home and it’s up keep and the taking care of your daughter. I’d even negotiate receiving Child Support from him if need be to get primary physical custody and keep my home a s do the what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours including asset and debt before and during marriage.
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Definitely seek out legal advice sooner rather than later.
If he was any sort of a decent man he would walk away, you seem to be doing fine!!!
You file first. Be in control.
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Fall back in love with your husband. Start all over again like you were dating. Your daughter deserves two parents who have done everything and anything to work things out.
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If you have proof you e supported your hubby. And you have kids. More then likely you will get the house.
You do everything already. Tell him he wants the divorce anyways. He can leave and take only what are his personal belongings. When he realizes it’s no fun flopping on friends couches he will try to come back but don’t let him. In most states if your spouse moves from your home and is gone 6 months it’s them deserting. U automatically get all your stuff u paid for. Look into your laws.
Cover yourself legally by getting an attorney and filing for divorce first.
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Take your time. Get all of your paperwork together to prove YOU bought the house. Do your own financial audit going back before your marriage. Have the paperwork to prove it was all your money.
Michigan is not a community property state. Instead, courts abide by equitable distribution laws. This means that a court will divide marital property based on fairness, not equality.
This post confuses me. You don’t want to share her, but you’d judge him for only seeing her once a week? And then you agree you should get divorced but he’s again being judged for wanting to live a different lifestyle? You need to kinda make up your mind about your true opinion and feeling on this before you file for anything. You should keep the house if you’ve truly been paying for most if not everything in the last several years, and if you want the upper hand you need to file first and if y’all’s accounts are joined and you’re both on the title for things I hope you have the back up proof of that 70k and all that. It doesn’t sound like he could afford that house anyway
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Prove you put down payment on house. Have proof you are paying mortgage. You should get the house. But you might have to give up something else. I had to give portion of 401k. 
but I kept my house despite his threats.
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first thing, get a LAWYER
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Regardless of anything, you currently “share” your daughter. She’s not property to be shared in a divorce.
Keep records of everything. Wait so you have enough written to show you have done everything, hopefully he leaves and is amicable about it…
First person to file has an advantage
I would tread lightly. If you use the argument that you are and have been the breadwinner, it’s likely you will be the one ordered to pay him child support. Most courts base child support off income. Also, regardless of where the money came from for the down payment on the new house, it was bought as a married couple, making it marital property. He can definitely fight it and there’s a very good chance you will have to buy him out of his half. Custody should be shared 50/50 unless he is deemed unfit. Just because he doesn’t work full time is no reason to keep him from his child or to ask for restrictions be put in place during his time with the child. Just like he can’t dictate what you do on your parenting time, you can’t dictate what he does during his parenting time. Unless there’s a valid reason for wanting the judge to order supervised visits with his mother there’s nothing you can do if he doesn’t agree to it.
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he wants it make him move tell him leave
If you already do everything and he’s not reliable, what exactly is it that you lose. I say get a lawyer, ask for physical primary custody and tell him to move out of the house and get ready to fight for your house and primary physical custody. Document everything in the meantime so you can prove that he’s not responsible for your daughter, or for keeping a steady job. If you have documentation for your previous home and the money you had stuck in it before the sale, id get that all in order so you’re prepared. The house you’re in is technically marital property, but your first was not. Thats gonna depend on state laws and the judge. Worst case scenario, maybe you could file bankruptcy in order to catch up on the debt without it accruing on you?
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You will not be sharing YOUR child! That child is just as much his as yours and needs to be with dad as much as mom.
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Get a lawyer. Get receipts from selling and buying the new house. Receipts of everything u paid because he refused to be an adult and work when hes capable. But if u both want the divorce you wont need that unless he actually tries to take from u. Most couples in agreeance will handle dividing up their stuff without courts
Your first mistake is posting this on Fakebook and expecting to get solid legal advice! Go talk to an attorney, sometimes you can get a free consultation. Good luck 
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If I were you, I would file for an eviction, & divorce first, with your list of wants & an iron clad supervised child visitation schedule with his mother already planned out.
Document everything, prove you pay the bills, you support the child, document his lax work history, ALL OF IT.
You will most likely be given what you want & he will just have to fall in line.
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First , you’re already lost keeping him in your life…you won’t lose everything; you’ll just lose your share. No, I’m not familiar with the laws in your state. I’m familiar with what you’re going through. I realize it’ll be hard for you to grow some balls. But you’d better do something similar, or things will just get worse. for yourself and your children.
Go get a good lawyer…you don’t need a roommate that probably has someone else anyway!!
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You can get alimony and still get a divorce first don’t let him win
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I would tell he can leave/to separate and say you will file and wait it out for a min to see if he has to keep a job to support himself…it may backfire because his momma might step back in but I would not file until he has a job or I would tell courts the same thing… he quits jobs because he is mad etc
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Judge will never kick you, the main provider and kids out of the home anyway. He will have to pay you support or judge will demand he has X amount of time to find a job. He won’t be able to have child visits until he has a suitable home and child has own room and space if you request that so your child is not a couch surfer while he has no job. And when you file you also file for FULL and SOLE custody. They are 2 different things so make sure you talk to your lawyer about that. Best of luck to you!
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Definitely consult with an attorney. Not sure about the Michigan laws but a simple 30-Day eviction does not apply in this situation as others have suggested. The mutual marital property would most likely need to be bought out from his side or sold/split. Custody arrangements lean more towards 50/50 these days unless there are extenuating circumstances, and income disparities will be factored in. Both could end up needing to downsize living arrangements and OP may have to pay some CS given she’s the breadwinner. While he may not be contributing much all the way around, the courts aren’t just going to allocate the home and primary custody on that rationale. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way.
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Sounds like you’re paying everything already
I think you’ll be fine
But it’s your decision.
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YOU can and are doing it THIS n your own… any house can be a HOME!! Go file to make sure you get what you want!.. It’s your home and everything is in Your name so request him to get a job and another place to stay…
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Once you leave the house you probably won’t get to come back. I definitely wouldn’t be going anywhere if I were you. He can’t even pay the bills and the house would end up in foreclosure and that’ll kill your credit.
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You better have proof of all of that proof of every job you’ve worked everything like that and the house and whatnot your money did you guys happen to sign a prenup and I would definitely fight for sole custody since he can’t seem to keep a job
Get yourself a good lawyer now- start keeping track of everything- he doesn’t work - so you’re the one is keeping it. Tell him you want him to leave and have an amicable divorce. As far as your child - it’s up to you to decide what kind of environment the baby is in. Tell lawyer all your concerns
If you’re in agreement don’t wait since you know it’s mutual, give him the heads up you’re starting the process already.
You don’t get to just cut him out of his child’s life and decide to share your shared child with his mother…he will probably get 50/50 custody since he isn’t abusive or neglectful
Also you proving you’ve been paying for everything and doing everything will just entitle HIM to alimony and child support
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I would file. That way you can dictate what is in it. I would have a talk w him, advising what you sacrificed for the sake of your daughter,and get your lawyer to draft up a form waiving his rights to the house and any spousal support. Hopefully he will see that the house will someday be your daughters. Good luck!
Whoever files first has the upper hand. File first. But be aware he could ask for alimony. Be aware that a judge wont allow you any say so on what happens with the kid on his time share. Put specific clauses into the divorce to protect yourself. If he agrees, it will give you some peace of mind. If not, at least your concerns are documented in case problems arise in the future.
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You have the upper hand if you file first
Get a good attorney…especially if you’re in wayne or st clair county
You need to file first
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I would file if I was you and I was straight up. Tell him that you don’t pay this house mortgage payment. I do so I own this house. Good luck trying to fight me on it and that’s exactly what a judge will say. He can move out since he is not tied to the house and financially he contributes nothing
Get an attorney and you file first because the person that files first has the upper hand and because you pay for everything you’ll get everything. But keep in mind he could fight you on alimony
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You file. The sooner the better.
Make sure you tell attorney your 70 grand went as down payment
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Talk with a highly respected divorce lawyer, and hear your options. When small children are involved, you must know what your options are. You need to tell your story to your attorney. Then, he can help you make the best decisions regarding how to proceed to protect you and your daughter. Then, decide what you need to do. 
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File first…gather up all paperwork showing where you have been paying most of the house and bills. They may let you keep it if can show put 70k dowm for it and been making payments.
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People, how do you know everything she says is real. Remember there are two sides to every story which if real will come out in court or with the attorneys involved. If he really is a dirt bag that will most likely be proven. Then again maybe he isn’t a dirt bag after all. Don’t be so quick to judge. She definitely needs an attorney like some of you have already mentioned.
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Make you a list of what you have paid, the 70k from your home that was free and clear. List of support for his apprenticeship. List of jobs he has had and how long he worked them. Don’t put anymore money into a joint account.(if you have one) start a new one to take care of yourself and the children. That way you have documentation. I would talk to the lawyer about him leaving the home. After talking with a lawyer maybe he’ll be sensible and agree to the things you ask for and for the things your willing for him to have. I’m sure he doesn’t want a large lawyer bill. Make sure it’s each pay attorneys fees. You need a lawyer that know just the way to word things!!! Good luck!!
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Definitely see a lawyer but don’t tell him about it
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File! So you can put in 1st what you want and don’t want and a parenting plan!
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Don"t wait you file first so you can be on top of it . And make him pay for it and child support .
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See an attorney don’t wait
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Get a good lawyer and follow his advice
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