Man, this is touchy af. Why did they ask for the money? How did you turn her down? In a rude way? Degrade her or maybe a lecture? Not accusing, I am asking because how things are said and full context of the conversation gives a better view of the whole picture of why she may be so butthurt. Or is this a case of entitled child syndrome and she thinks you are obligated to loan her money because she’s ur daughter and is having a child of her own ur granddaughter and she needed help getting a few things for the girl and felt like u snubbed her. There’s a lot that needs to be put in context here.
My mother tried to take custody of my son. Of course she lost & now she has to live with the fact she will never see me or my child again.
You don’t have rights to her child regardless of her reason why
Unfortunately grandparents have no rights in courts anymore and you would be treated as someone trying to gain access by court order when the mother would otherwise allow it and you’ve never met the child and it seems almost conniving to think you have rights to the child in court. Sucks to miss that time, but give her that time. Whatever may have been said, may pass and she may reach out. Most new mothers are emotional af because of hormones but once they cool down, any reasonable mother would want her child to know her family, and not lose a potentially amazing granny being in her life over an argument over money. Don’t go the way of the courts. You’re overstepping you’re bounds and forcing something that isn’t in the best interest of anyone not even you. The anger and resentment you will create will poison the air of your life forever. The relationship with your granddaughter will backfire and blow up in your face down the road. Dragging a kid thru court is pathetic unless the child isn’t being taken care of properly, but you wouldn’t know that since you’re not around. You have zero grounds. And it would be flat out atrocious behavior.
Sounds so petty. Life is so short. It will cost you more emotionally, and in time to go to court. It’s not worth it.
Not sure what state you live in but NJ has Grandparents Rights. You can file for visitation here and in several other states. Find out if your state has a Grandparents Rights statue in their family courts. If they do then file. Kids aren’t pawns for money or to manipulate anyone. If there is anything to salvage with your daughter she will eventually come around and work things out with you, but for now work on building a bond with your grand child.
There is no grandparent rights…
Not sure where you are but in Texas there are no Grandparents rights. It is totally up to the parent whether you get to see the child. I speak from experience!
Unfortunately, legally you don’t have rights as a grandparent!
Stand your ground, your doing nothing wrong and if she’s going to hurt her own child over money, it will always be over something, she Dangling your heart string
I’m in Idaho and grandparents have NO rights here ! My poor grandson had to go into foster care at 10 months old because the state took him from his parents but would not give him to me ! The state dropped the case and my son got full legal and sole custody and then my husband and I got guardianship of him when he turned two
NO ONE has any rights to another person’s child. Just because your grandma…that doesn’t entitle you to anything. That being said I would let things blow over. They are mad because you wouldn’t help them…I’m sure they’ll get over it. They are mad at you yet happy about their baby so their are alot of emotions going on right now. You taking them to court for visitation that you are not entitled to is going to make things 10 times worse. As much as it hurts I would definitely wait it out. They will come around. Good luck!
My advice not that you asked…
Mend the relationship with your daughter.
She is important, whatever she is going thru is important.
You wont ever have a relationship with your grandchild like you want until you mend the relationship with your daughter.
And like others have mentioned Grandparents dont have rights while living parents are taking care of their child.
I know its your grand baby but it is their child.
Focus on your relationship with yours.
Stick to your guns mama. Giving your daughter. Oney all the time doesn’t teach her anything. She’ll just keep doing the same things over and over while expecting you to bale her out. I’m speaking from experience. As for seeing your grand baby, your daughter will give in.
So, grandparents rights may be in your state, but… grandparents rights would only be if you could A) prove her unfit as a mother B. If she passed and the spouse wouldn’t allow you to see the child or C. If she had an issue as in drugs or jail time you could get them. Grandparents rights aren’t just “my daughters mad at me and won’t let me see my grandchild.” Maybe not in all states, but from what I just read that’s was 99 percent of the list says. I’d wait it out. If you take your own child to court she is going to despise you. And then you’ll really never meet the grand baby. It’s rough. It sucks when people use kids as pawns, but there is not much you can do. It’s her baby. And that’s her choice. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
U can try to see if they are on drugs!! To stop talking to u because u didn’t lend them money sounds like they are drug addicts! That just my opinion people but from experience that’s has to be it!! Babies can be born early for lots of reasons and not all hospitals test for them if it’s not noticeable that they are on them!! There has to be more to this story with u and your daughter’s relationship if it’s not drugs!!!
My grandson did this to my daughter for no reason and she hasn’t seen her grandson or her son in 1 1/2 year’s
I wouldn’t if where you live is anything like where I life. Grand parents rights do not exist anymore.
Idk about other states, but I believe, in Kansas… grandparents only have 8hrs of rights/yr!
I might be incorrect, but last I knew…that’s all it was.
Perhaps you could explain to your daughter why you could not lend her the money and let her know you support her and love her unconditionally.
It would be helpful to talk to your daughter and each of you make amends. But if you wait and do nothing eventually she will let you see your grandchild but I am sure neither of you feel good about this situation. Your daughter will always be your daughter no matter how old she is.
Our children are precious to us and we never know what the future holds. Life is too short to be in anger.
Its her child not yours. If she doesn’t want you to see the baby then thats it you don’t see the baby. She just went thru labor and having a child why would you put more stress on top of a newborn??? Be patient she might come around if not then there’s nothing to be done. She may be your daughter but she just had a child of her own let her have her family and if she wants you to be involved later on down the line great but don’t force her that how you lose her and your grand baby
You probably won’t like my opinion. But just because she is your daughter, does not mean you have rights to her daughter. If you do that she will probably never forgive you. Plus Legally, I don’t think you can actually do that just because you guys aren’t getting along. Have you tried to actually have a conversation with her, and try to understand her side? It may not even be about $$. Could be something else. I would focus on fixing the relationship. Consider her feelings and be the bigger person. Most women that have a new baby want their mother around. It’s a very difficult time. She may be waiting on you to make the first move. Who knows. She needs her mom to be there for her right now. One things for sure, you should not try to take your own flesh and blood to court just because you’re mad.
People commenting grandparent rights should do some research…it’s not for grandparents who are fighting with their child.
I didn’t read all your comments… no grandparents rights in NJ… just see if you can talk or figure out how to let go. It takes the most special stupid people to hold kids or grand kids from family. Sorry. Sad but true. Good luck.
It’s not your baby. It’s hers. Simple as that. Respect her wishes. Maybe she will come around.
Unless your daughter has severe issues there is no reason to take her to court.
In Australia, there is no such thing as grandparents rights… Been there and heard it from an actual lawyer.
Grandparent rights do not exist. Leave her alone and let her live.
Unless they are unfit parents you really don’t have any right to the child, that’s just my opinion though
Ohio has no grandparents right
Check your state laws on it. In most places unless you can prove unfit or on drugs Grandparent laws are non-existent in visitation areas. Parents are the sole decision on who visits and who does not. I hate to sound cold but it is reality unfortunately.
It’s her child. Leave the sitiuation alone. Maybe not being an a**hole and even mentioning court may help the relationship.
Depending what state I live in grandparents have no rights
My advice for all seperated loved ones no matter if grandparents or parents. Is to set up an email in the childs name. And write them letters etc.
Be it memories. Be it photos. Be it of events that you think shed like know about like milestone birtdays etc.
Dont slate mum coz she will be protective of her parents.
Sit it out. Send a letter congratulating them bejng parents. And maybe a small gift. And hold in there. Remember they need time adjusting to being parents and a family. Chridtmas card for family. For first christmas. But dont bombard them and be ott. Remember if you push too hard you could help push them away. Make her feel ill and not good mum…
Hang in there. And congrats on birth of granddaughter
Unless you’ve already had a previous relationship with the child (newborn so obviously not) you might not be able to get visitation rights. I suggest talking to your daughter about going to therapy so you guys can help mend your relationship.
I’m so sorry, it must be really hard. Try and try and try again with your daughter… Making things right with her is really your only option… Good luck…
Maybe you let her know that you are there if she ever needs help… I personally couldn’t do without my mother when baby was born.
I would try and mend your relationship with your daughter.
Maybe write her a letter and tell her how you feel and maybe get some therapy together.
Please don’t go down the legal path because if you do you will never see your grandchild.
Be patient or you will lose her forever. Send messages that you miss and care for her. That’s all you can do.
Not to sound insensitive…I know it must be hard what you’re going through…but truthfully it’s the parents decision who gets to be around their children…No one has the legal right, nor should they, to time with a child other than a parent, SO LONG AS they are not abusive, neglectful or otherwise unfit…it’s their choice and right as a parent on who sees their child…again I’m not trying to take away from the hurt you feel as a grandparent…but just as it was your decision who could be around your children so it is their decision for their children…just because someone is related that doesn’t merit them any sort of rights over the parents
The time you’re losing with your granddaughter is irrelevant. You have no right to any time with her. Work on getting to at least an amicable place with your daughter so you can see her child. Without backing down, ie don’t give her the money. Don’t apologize where you aren’t wrong. Don’t become her stepping stool (read: bitch, lap dog, etc) just to see her child.
Yeah if you were my mom and you tried to get rights to my newborn because I was upset over something and wanted distance from you, you would never see me or my child. Ever. Until my child was 18 and could make their own choices you would have nothing to do with them. Trying to strong-arm someone because you feel you have some rights you don’t have is not ok. I feel bad that you don’t respect your daughters boundaries or wishes right now.
Try and repair your relationship with your daughter instead of trying to get legal rights you aren’t owed and don’t have.
She’ll come around. I regret every minute the days I didn’t go see my mom with my daughter and she unexpectedly passed away when my daughter was 1.5
Grandparents have no rights at all so the only thing you would be doing is igniting a fire in her to get her child as far away from you as possible. The only way you would get any rights to her is if the parents have been deemed unfit and then the parents can still fight to have their child placed with someone else other than you or if something happens to the parents. The fact that you think your ENTITLED to this child just shows how toxic you really are.
As a grandma I can tell u more an likely u have no legals rights. However even if u do that would be so wrong off u to pull that card. You’ve got to make a mends with your daughter 1st. Threats will only push her away probably for good us parents gets our feelings hurt so easily and yes right now she’s not speaking to u but stop and ask ur self why really why have u been to pushie have u already threatened for grandparents rights it takes both the momma and child to repair an adult relationship not just one please don’t rush this or u could risk this all Ma’ma just friendly advice from a mom & grandma
You are the one person who are responsible for the relationship with your daughter. You were the one who initiated it and who set the rules. Now you take the consequences!
Ummmm im sorry what? Take her to court for visits of a grandmother lady it doesnt work like that. And if it did and you did this to me you would NEVER see the baby. Period
I feel sorry for you and know it is hard but just her out. Grandparents may not have legal rights but she is wrong. To try to use her child as a blackmailing object.You give us money or you won’t see the baby. That is terrible.
Don’t even concider going to court… Don’t ruin your relationship with her any further Pray for her and trust that God will work all in your favour… Stay patient… Blood is blood
Some mother’s just brainwash their children to dislike dad’s and grandparents. Living in the nightmare now with my X daughter in law. Cruel to take love from children. And replace it with hate…
Honestly, I wouldn’t go the court route. You wouldn’t get very far. The judge would dismiss that case so fast. Grandparents don’t have rights typically, unless under special circumstances. If this was my situation I would just try to reach out to her everyday. Even if she shuns you. Atleast she knows your trying and that she matters to you. Maybe suggest therapy, so you both have a safe space to talk. Best of luck. Everything will work out for your family.
Sounds like a controlling bf.
This happened to my parents for almost a year (not regarding money though). My mom wanted to go to court too but honestly that would have made it so much worse. I think give her time but let her know you are still here for her even if you can’t be financially.
You legally have no right to the child. Yes it hurts you bc you have gotten to spend time with your grandchild. But legally there is nothing you can do about it. You should just try to mend your relationship with your daughter first
There is such a thing as grandparents rights.
I know what you mean! I have to keep my mouth shout but, stand your boundaries. If they owe you money ,they won’t come around either. Damn if you do ,damn if you don’t. I’ve decided I want my money in my pocket!!! What little I have, I need myself!!!
I was with a man that had so much control over me and my kids. He wouldnt let my mom and dad come see me or the kids. In result of his abuse throughout the years they are in fostercare and being adopted out. I’d rather not get intö the story because it not about this. My point is to whatever you can to see your grandchildren. My mom only got to hold my boys once but never got to hold my daughter and now she never will. I regret not letting her because of my history with my mom as well but people change and she has. Just do what you need to do to be there for the baby and your daughter.
I would at least try with the courts. If it works in your favor ,she wouldn’t be able to play that card anymore.
I get that you’re missing out on time with the baby, but, firstly, a lot of new parents these days are choosing to not let anyone see the baby at first, so they can bond together as a family, and now because of Covid. That should always be respected. Why has your relationship with her had its ups and downs? You have to acknowledge any part you played in the downs and try to put yourself in her shoes on what could have been done to upset her, acknowledge it and apologize for any parts you have played when y’all relationship wasn’t great. And just my advice, but if my mother ever pulled the legal card on me for grandparents rights, I would probably never speak to her again.
She will come back around when she asks for more money
If you’re Daughter has stopped talking to and refuses to let you see your Grand child just because you would not give her money then then she is not worth calling a Daughter
It depends where you are located. In my state, Pennsylvania, grandparents have no rights. So it would be alot of money for nothing.
No court. Time is going but this is your granchild. Child trumps grandchild. No grandkids should have yo be between family wars. Work it out with your child and if your child doesn’t want to work it out leave them be. They will have to explain to the kid one day why grandparents not in their life. These situations are complicated and can often get very toxic so Instead of going that route just try the peaceful way and if that doesn’t work step back.
Depends on what state you are in. A lot of states dot have grandparents rights anymore and if they do it’s quite a process to get them
Why do people think they can control their adult children and think they are entitled to their grandchildren. The truth is 9 times out of 10 if your adult children don’t want a relationship their is a justified reason. If someone doesn’t have a good relationship with their parents their is usually a reason beyond the petty reasons like “money”. If you guys have “always had an up and down relationship” she doesn’t owe you a relationship with her or her children. The mere fact that you are posting this and thinking of going to court to control your daughter with your grandchild screams toxic to me. Mend the relationship with your child or dont see your grandchildren. That should really be the only answer here. Good luck getting “grandparents rights” you have to actually prove that whatever reasons your adult children dont have a good relationship with you is invalid or doesn’t exsist. Which involves alot of gaslighting from toxic parents usually. You rarely win these kinds of things. And i know if my parents did that they’d lose and I’d completely not even try again in the future to mend that bond. Your adult children owe you nothing. Especially time with their own kids. This is something you should think about when raising your children. Children become adults. If you were/are a good loving parent they’d want to come around on their own. Im surprised with the comments here. None of you guys actually know the daughters reasons. And its very toxic and gaslighting to take this posters side. You can’t really think that people want nothing to do with their parents because they were good to them the majority of the time. You want to see your grandchild? Listen to people who have had real issues with their parents. Start by NOT minimizing the reasons she and you dont get along. Dig deeper. Acknowledge your mistakes as a parent and things that likely drove you apart. Validate. Acknowledge. Show understanding and compassion. Show remorse for your part in the broken relationship. Show respect because she IS an adult. Talk. Communicate gently. This post says you haven’t acknowledged the real issue. You admitted you had an up and down relationship. Do the work. You’ll probably lose in court and completely severe any chance in meeting your grandchild otherwise. She may not be answering but if you’re sending messages she’s reading them. Make sure your messages involve the things i mentioned above. We as parents focus on raising our kids certain ways to do certain things in life to be successful etc. Raise them to like you. Behave to your children like they will be adults who you want to like you one day.
Never, never ever take your daughter to court, you might be hurting but obviously there is something else going on in your daughters life that she will need your support for eventually, reach out and try to mend bridges but taking her to court will be the last thing you ever do with / to her and her daughter, grandparents rights are not a thing unless the parents are deemed unfit, you will loose and you will ruin all future chances of reconciliation, my kids dad was abusive and narcissistic and controlled the finances, he also had a crap tonne of debt and while I was trying to get us back on our feet and asked my parents for help they stopped helping and cut us off when they found out it was for his debts not mine, the exact words said were “while you are with him we can no longer support you”, well I was with him so we moved 4 hours away with my 2 babies to find other support and somewhere fresh and cheaper living expenses, if my mum took me to court over my choice to try to keep my family together she never would have seen us again, as it is now, I left their dad after a few years when I realised just how toxic he was, moved back home as my parents had no money to help me with but could help me save money by being under their roof with minimal expenses and my kids are now 10 and 11 with the best relationship with my parents ever, I couldn’t live without them now, I’m financially stable, have a wonderful fiance, a perminant and beautiful home, a toddler with my fiance, and my parents now come to me for help and live to spend time with their grandchildren, that would never have been possible if they took me to court and made out like I was an unfit mother and forced me to pay legal fees or anything, besides, if something is off with her partner then one day you may need that court money to be helping your daughter get custody in the separation, please think about how damaging and devastating this would be for your whole future and try to imagine why your daughter would be cutting you out right now, stand in her shoes and imagine if you are hurting right now, how much she must be hurting as a new mum to not have her support system around her, this isn’t about you, it’s about her and her figuring out motherhood and when she realises she’d do anything for her daughter she’ll also realise you’d do anything you could for her well-being too and she’ll eventually appreciate it, please just wait and reach out when you can, my mum wrote myself and my partner apology letters so I would go back and visit even though our relationship was still very strained, she sucked it up and it was probably the hardest thing she’s ever done because she was probably right to not help us anymore but she did it, and you should too, you’re her mother, not just the grandmother
I am a mother of a son that has 3 children. I would be mortified and ashamed of myself if my adult child did not want a relationship with me let alone refuse me to see my grandchildren but look here, if you had done your job as a mom then you would be in your grandbabies lives and that is a hard truth you will have to swallow. Shame on you for even thinking of taking your own child to court. No wonder she wants nothing to do with you.
Has she borrowed and not returned in the past. What was the money for that she asked for and reasons why she did not have herself. Those would be the answers I would want. If they just blowing the money and won’t pay it back then I would not have lent either. But there are times when one might need to lend if able. Car might needed fixing or heat pump went out etc. Don’t want that baby to get cold or be able to go to MD if needed. If they just blowing the money then heck no I would not offer it either. Time heals wounds often but really better think twice before going to court. Family should not take family to court unless it is a life threatening thing going on.
Get over it. It’s HER child. Not yours. She has every right to refuse your contact especially since you’ve never had contact before. You seem like a very selfish person!
You legally have no rights to that child sooooo…
I have waited nearly 7yrs to see my 4 grandchildren, Im still waiting
Grandparents have no rights. If she decides to have no contact with you then no contact means no contact. you don’t have a right to her child.
I wouldn’t go legal, just be patient…
Grand parents do not have legal rights! Mend the situation with your daughter do it the right way through communication forgiveness and love
Think about what you may lose , you need to repair what’s between you and your daughter?
As a grandmother I feel your pain
As I’ve gone through this
And it’s so painful
My best advice would be to speak to a solicitor
In regards to setting up a family mediation rather then go to court
As sadly going to court you only have a 50/50 chance of winning visitation depending on what a magistrate deems to be in the best interest of your grand daughter
Also a mediation session(s)
Can often help to get out Any family issues relating to your grand daughter
You may even be able to come to a visitation agreement that works for you and your daughter
I honestly from one grand mother to another grand mother
Hope things work out for you , your daughter and your grand daughter
Grandparents generally have no rights unless the biological parent loses custody or passes away. Then they can file for grandparents rights, which in my state equates to about 2-4 visits a month.
As a mother I would never take my child to court for no reason hopefully they will just get over it and let you in so t give up on your daughter keep trying show her your love
It isn’t your kid. You have 0 rights to it, regardless if you’re a good grandparent or not.
You. Aren’t. Entitled. To. Someone. Else’s. Child.
In many states grandparents have no legal rights so you taking them to court is just a waste of time and money.