Should I go to the baby shower if I was not invited to the wedding?

I don’t know if this is where you ask questions anonymously but here goes. My cousin lives out of state, and we r not super close but used to be when younger. He got married for the second time and I was not invited to the wedding or anything regarding it, fair because like I said out of state and never meeting the new girlfriend now wife. My problem is now they are expecting a baby and sent an invite for the baby shower in a couple months. I don’t know how I feel about this. Is it weird since I don’t know her, wasn’t invited to their wedding but now I’m supposed to go states away for a baby shower? He was only married before for a year but dated that girl for quite a long time so I knew her in seeing her at family functions n such. We quit seeing that side of family since they have split and he has this new wife. Would others feel disrespected if invited for a baby shower and never even mention a wedding beforehand?


I wouldn’t go and wouldn’t send a gift I feel like they invited u just for a gift


Don’t go or send a gift it’s not about you it’s them and they want a gift


Was the wedding small ? Maybe they only invited a small group of people. And an invite doesn’t mean you’re supposed to but baby showers can be a lot less formal than a wedding. I don’t think a wedding invite and baby shower go hand in hand. If you don’t want to go, then just tell them you can’t.


It wouldn’t bother me that much bc I’ve never met her. (Depending how close you and your cousin are at the moment) as for the shower I would go if it wasn’t a hassle but not go out of my way to attend. Maybe just send a gift (again, depending how I am with my cousin.) most ppl, including myself won’t invite ppl they haven’t seen/spoke to within that year. I don’t take it personal.

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Usually they send one just so you send a gift :woman_shrugging: I have family 1200 miles away (I am close with and did send one) but people will send baby shower invites to people they barely know in hopes to receiving something. They probably didn’t expect you to make the trip to go, just send a gift :woman_shrugging:


They chose to invite you for whatever reasons. You get to choose to go or not. If you’re uncomfortable or feel it’s weird then don’t go.

Idk of this fits the situation but I know often times parents, so your aunt, are involved in invitations. It’s possible they invited anyone they know who they think will send a gift. I know at my baby shower 20+ years ago I had maybe 3-5 ppl I had current relationships with. The rest were relatives I hadn’t seen in years or partners of relatives I’ve never met. It was uncomfortable to say the least.

Send a gift and quit overthinking.


I, personally, might send something small thru the mail. A blanket, an outfit, diapers :woman_shrugging:t3:. The invite could possibly be about “a gift”, but wouldn’t a wedding invite result in the same thing? However this gift would be for a baby. Unlike the wedding, where a gift is also expected, typically high dollar,and geared towards the couple. That’s just me tho.


My opinion is no. Invitations are made for a reason.


Not disrespected that just silly. … but I’d just pass Stay home. Don’t get butt hurt over nothing.

why go send them a card on the birth of their baby period

He’s inviting you to be a part of their babys life. If you go it will show you care and that you want to be a part of their life with a new baby. If you don’t go you’re saying that you’ve moved on and don’t plan on being family to that baby… IMO


They just want you to send a gift…


Why would you want to go?

You either like your cousin or don’t . You’re making this about yourself…


Sounds like they just invited you for a gift

I haven’t been invited to wedding of ppl I am very close to, bc they had to pay for them themselves and it can be very expensive, or I have been invited, but told not to bring my kids. Neither time was I bothered. It’s understandable. I still sent gifts. I can’t make everything I am invited to either, doesn’t mean I don’t care. Baby showers don’t cost as much per person, so they were probably glad to invite you. If they realized you felt this way, they would likely tell you if you can come, come and you don’t have to bring a gift, I would.

Maybe just a small intimate wedding and thinking new baby , new start , time to meet more family and to celebrate.

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I feel like you are overthinking this, big time.

You are related to the baby. Who cares about a wedding invite.

If you want to send a gift, do so. If not, don’t.

No big deal.


Wayyyy overthinking. Send a gift for the baby, a well wish for your cousin and the new wife and move along with your day. 2nd weddings are typically smaller and more intimate, new additions to the family are always a celebration. This one isn’t hard.


I’d be thinking they just want free gifts :joy:

How big was the wedding? How close are you to your cousin? Have you mentioned to other family members about you not getting invited and it got back to him and now he feels bad and is inviting you so you dont feel left out? If you don’t really talk to him then it’s just them looking for a gift.

Weddings are expensive. If it was small, maybe they kept it to immediate family and close friends to keep cost down. That could be why you didn’t get an invite. It’s still family so I would send a gift. Up to you if you feel like making the trek to attend in person.

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If you wanna go, go. If you don’t want to, don’t. In my opinion it sounds like you’re over analyzing. You said you understood not being invited to the wedding (from how you described it, I understand too) so to me the baby shower is unrelated. Why ask others if they would feel disrespected about the wedding invite, when it seems you didn’t feel that way at the time?

P.s. weddings are far more expensive to host than baby showers. Makes sense to have a larger guest list for the shower. I can’t really see the issue here?


Weddings tend to be more expensive than baby showers per guest. Don’t overthink it.

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Politely decline simple as that

Send a card with a gift card to a kids store, or target gift card. I agree with others weddings are more expensive. I had like 5 people there and none of them were my family because they all lived on the other side of the country. Baby shower I was closer to family, a lot showed up and the ones who didn’t sent small gifts or gift cards to get stuff for the baby.

You really do not know why you were not invited to wedding. It could of been financial reason. Get over it. if you do not feel comfortable going to the baby shower send something in the mail.