Should I have a baby shower?

I am currently debating on having a baby shower. Alot of my friends are encouraging me and asking if they can help or offering their help. But I just dont talk to all my family like I use to and my bf doesnt talk to his cousins and aunts like he use to. Its kind of upsetting that I was so supportive in peoples lives for all these years and now that I am a FTM… I dont have as much support from my family. I use to watch their kids, give them clothes, take them places, and just be there for them. Feels like a total waste of time and money that I spent for nothing. I guess what I would like to know is what are the pros and cons that FTM think there is in having a baby shower or not having one?


I chose not to have one since I had all of five people to invite and felt it would bring more stress and be a waste of money than anything.

Honey, the baby shower is to celebrate the baby… If you send everyone an invite & only a few shows enjoy it anyway be happy & don’t let things bother you… I had a very small one but that was cheap & it turned out okay it doesn’t have to be over the top… & who knows babies have brought people close again


Send them a link to your amazon wish list.

20 will say they will attend, 2 will actually show up. Perhaps you have better friends than I do.


have one with people who support you. you don’t HAVE to invite “family”


Make it a family reunion

Have the shower. Even if only a few show up.


its such a strange world now when the pregnant girl gives herself a shower… it used to be that friends and family who love that girl plan a surprise shower. back in the day that would have been frowned upon… its like calling all your friends and family and saying “give me gifts cause im having a baby” I just dont get this thing of people giving themselves showers

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As someone who did not throw a baby shower it’s totally up to you. The people who supported me helped me out anyways and the people who didn’t didn’t give a damn even after my baby was born. So do what you will but in all honesty I wish I would’ve done something to celebrate her, even if it was simple

I chose not to have one w/my 2nd child since I had one w/my 1st born. But friends had a surprise one for me my boys are 27 yrs of a difference…

I would have a shower to celebrate your baby and invite the people you are close with. If you feel uncomfortable about the gift situation you can write on the invites “no gifts please”. Chances are people will bring gifts anyway.

I’ve never heard of someone hosting their own shower. Is this how it’s done now?

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Send out invites with a link to your registry. Generally people who don’t show up will still send a gift. I had no idea how expensive it could be to get all that stuff for the first time and my baby shower was a life saver.


Have the shower anyway. My mom told me nobody sould show uo ti mine amd i had 40 people! With my 3rd a friend threw a sprinklr (we had a 6yr gap between the 2nd and 3rd) and i invited 20 amd 5 showed up. I did an amazon registry tho anf got gifts in the mail as well.

literally the exact same thing happened for my baby shower and none of the people on my mom’s side of the family came except for maybe three people. but a lot of friends came that I was actually very surprised by and very grateful for. All in all it was a good shower and we got a lot of stuff for my baby. I say have your shower and don’t worry about the people who choose not to be there because they aren’t worth it. I was a little annoyed especially because one of my cousins thought I really thought would be there didn’t show up. so that was hurtful but it was counteracted by the fact that so many other people came.

Do things for people because you want to, not for the things you can get out of it.

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I had one with my first but didn’t with my second because they were the same gender and saved a lot of baby things just in case. My sister in law threw it for us and we had a very small intimate shower. People who didn’t show and couldn’t show sent items on our registry.

Have a baby shower for yourself. But one thing that stuck out that i wanted to mention is when you said you feel like all the money and time you spent was for nothing. Uhhh so do you always do everything with the expectation of someday getting something in return. People can pick up on that vibe and maybe that is part of your problem? I wouldn’t want to be around a friend who makes me feel like i HAVE to reciprocate if they do something nice for me. I reciprocate on my own not due to pressure. You should really evaluate that phrase u said and yourself and grow a bit. Js

sounds like you have plenty of support from your friends… YES have the shower

Sometimes people take your kindness for granted. Let that be who they are. You obviously were there for them thinking nothing would change and it did. But that shouldn’t define your future celebrations.

Hosting your own shower that is rediculous. I am sorry for your hurt feelings. I don’t know how family and friends can be this way. Friends and family to this hurting person listen up she is reaching out try extended a hand out to her. Leave past grievances in the past where they belong. When you hold someone down you hold yourself down, too.

I hosted my own shower gave put over 50 invites. And did everything for it even made little gift bags for people to take home and jello shots. And a while 2 people showed up. No friends no family 2 coworkers thats it. So for me i wouldnt do it again.

FTM. Not a lot of ppl went to my baby shower either, but it is worth having. Even if you plan it yourself.
Between the clothes and the diapers and wipes you get (I was good for 3 months) of course you will have to do some exchanging, but it will last a while. You also might get a few gems.
I got lots of sleepy time baby bath, normal baby bath, a grooming kit, tons of bottles and binkeys (which my daughter never used) tons and tons of clothes of all sizes. I got a baby bath (thank goodness for that because it completely slipped my mine before hand) a swing, towels.
There are a lot of little things that you know you need before hand, but kind if forget along the way. A baby shower, regardless of how many people show up, if helpful. You always get diapers and wipes!!!