Okay short side of the story is I have a seven-year-old daughter, and about two years ago, her real father completely left her life. He and his now ex-wife have two boys together whom of which my daughter has both met and been with them for both of their births, and she has not seen them. She’s starting to act out, and I think I might be a little bipolar, which is just something that runs in our family, but I think a little of it has to do with him being gone now. I reach out to her ex stepmother and try to set up something to get the kids together. Unfortunately, we are states away from each other, so it is hard. But sometimes I just don’t hear from her when we try to make plans for months, and I’m just wondering do I keep trying to make sure my daughter has a relationship with her two other brothers? Or do I just let it go? Please, no bashing. I don’t want to explain more than I have to; I just want to know to see what others would do.
Ask the child how she feels about it all maybe
Just let it go! I have tried too in the past and it doesn’t get anywhere! They will find each other when they are older.
Get her counseling. Forget her brothers. You don’t have rights to them.
Can she at least face time with them. And if they aren’t trying to respond to make it happen leave it alone. And get her into counseling so she get get some help and vent to someone.
She’s 7. It’s not bipolar. She’s struggling. My daughter is the same age. She has a little sister but her dad is so unbelievably toxic and I’ve been trying for years for them to have some sort of relationship but they use the little girl the dad and her stepmom as a way to get to me and get to Georgia and then they started making excuses on why they couldn’t pick Georgia up and blah blah blah so I just stopped. When her and the child get older and can do more of what they please then it might be different
leave it alone and take care of your daughter
I would ask her what she wants. Does she want to have a relationship with these brothers or does it not matter to her? Then let that guide your decision. Also get her into counseling. She has a lot going on and I doubt she’s bipolar. It’s more likely she is having a hard time coping with her father disappearing.
Keep going, don’t look back
Soo my baby daddy has 3 girls with his ex wife and now 2 kids with me all while they were separated, happened very fast. Its up to HIM if he wants them all to have a connection of some sort as i wont bother because the ex wife likes to make my life harder by bullying and false restraining orders to keep me away and be spiteful.
My daughter is 2 and is all about her sister’s and will act out when it’s time to say goodbye that part is normal 100% and i even have bipolar
I stepped back for my own sake and for my mental health and now those other 3 kids aren’t my problem at all, if my daughter has a relationship with them or not it doesn’t matter and if it did thats on their father.
Me personally would rather hide my daughter from her father’s mess but i can’t be that person sadly i wish my girl didn’t have to fight for her father’s love and attention and always be the odd one out but they will watch and see as they grow and can make up their own minds in good time !!!
I would maybe try doing video calls for them but I still have yet to do a video chat with my 2 girls half brother who lives in England
Leave it alone. Period. Not your children. Her dad isn’t involved she can later. Period.
Personally I’d keep trying. Even if it’s to facetime her brothers
If their father doesn’t see them & the boys mom isn’t open to keeping a relationship there isn’t much you can do. I’m assuming she knows how to contact you. You’ve made it clear that you’re open to relationship. It’s in her hands now. Don’t chase them.
Bipolar doesn’t develop at 7 lol it develops during adolescence or puberty. Don’t self diagnose because being bipolar is a very serious mental illness and needs treatment.
She’s 7. She’s struggling. She probably doesn’t understand the depth of developing and maintaining relationships like adults do. Try video calling or even having her draw some pictures to send in the mail.
I think it depends how important it is to you and your child, Ask her. I believe family is important. I Didn’t grow up around alot of mine. It’s just me and my sisters. And we are close. I want more family in there life. My kids father has 7 other kids with other women and I encourage them to have a relationship with them. I wouldn’t force them but I want them to know there other brothers and sisters. Even tho I cant stand him.
Have her FaceTime them and maybe send gifts or cards around the holidays. Then when they get older they know who eachother are and you know you did your best to keep them in eachothers lives.
Way to go momma! I see you believe in family. I commend you for that.
I would video call them and have her draw pictures and send it to them via mail. It would help her express herself and would also feel like a fun actitivity for her to do.
Since you stay far…when.you can, she can visit her father and her step brothers once a while then calls are also good it also shows she cares.
I would let it go.my daughter same thing if that side of the family wants to speak to her they will reach out. Not my job i am not the one who left.
My only advice would be to keep the conversation open! Even if you don’t meet up, juts always call and check on the boys or let your daughter send them cards or letters. Maybe years down the road those two boys will reach out and know they had a sister and her mom who never forgot about them. I know it’s one sided bc you seem to be always reaching out but that speaks to your character!
I would. She deserves to know her brothers and shes not old enough to do it herself. If you gave moms number, ask her if the kids can call or video chat. That way they atleast keep in contact. It doesn’t hurt to try to keep them in contact, id do it if I were in that position
I have very similar situation and it will be hard, but you just stay strong and keep her family connected even if its picd, phone calls or face time. They need their family especially now…because they have abandonment issues now. She’ll act out for a bit, but you keep telling her how much she is loved by do many and (I’m a believer in God) God, who made her perfect loves her more than all and he will ALWAYS be her daddy!
My opinion is that, maybe, you need to figure out what’s going one mentally with your daughter first. Everything else can work out later but her health, safety, and mental wellness should come first.
I, fortunately, have no experience in this. Can they keep up through child friendly social media or letters/cards until they can see each other again? You should absolutely help her maintain these relationships with her siblings.
No I wouldn’t force it since they live states away , maybe they will want to reconnect later in life as teens or adults but I’d leave that up to the kids when the time comes.
I personally think if it’s on again off again it does more harm than good and it reminds her that her dad is not around. Maybe see about getting her in counseling and see what the therapist says
No. It will most likely come. I dont have a relationship with my 2 brothers or my sister. I left for 25 years in the AF. When we got home they liked their family the way it was. My brother and sister said to me…“our family is better off without you.” So I tried hard for 15 years but finally succumbed to all the manipulation and abuse. Im done at 55 years old.
My daughter lives 2 states away from her brothers… I tried keeping in contact with them for years… it wasn’t worth the hassle because they didn’t want it back!!! I have her brothers on my Facebook page and we randomly send them pictures or messages… they will answer back randomly…
Keep trying for your daughters sake. Even if their mother doesn’t respond or cooperate. Your daughter may hold it against you later if you don’t try.
I honestly feel it has more to do with her dad than the brothers…
Keep trying and keep records of some sort. So your daughter will know you never gave up on her behalf.
Tbh … until the adults can work together and do some sort of set schedule… even if it’s only a few times a year… and I mean it’s 100% going to happen… I’d let it go. Disappointment is hard to get over and follows you into adulthood.
With Covid & kids in school its not going to be easy. I think video chat is great for now & maybe making plans, during a break at school, to get them together. Its hard.
No, let them do it on their own!! They know each other exist - they will work it out in time… if ya push - it could backfire!!
You need to contact a family law attorney. Siblings have rights to visitation.
Take it from me I have several siblings and I always regret losing ouch with one of them due to our father dying maybe video chats?
Take her to a therapist ti see what is going on.
Just keep her family connected
Use technology!
She can chat and keep up with them that way.
Figure out what’s going on with your daughter for sure first
Ask your daughter what she wants and go from there. She can always try to build a relationship with them later in life too if she’s interested and perhaps after her feeling of her father leaving dissipate.
Let them videochat each other maybe on the weekends.
Her father walked out on her. But keep the lines of communication open to the boys. One day maybe it’ll all come together.
Don’t force anything she’s not comfortable with
No get her into counseling. You can’t force it and the more you try and the ex stepmom flakes out the worse it might be for your daughter and she might not know how to handle the way she feels so its common to lash out with the person she feels is safe being you. My husband has custody of his son. My stepson has 3 brothers and a sister that his mom had after him w 4 different men. She lost custody of her daughter and hasnt seen my stepson in 3 yrs. He gets angry but we can’t force his mother to do anything. He has never spent time w his sister n hasn’t met his youngest brother who is almost a yr old. Its sad and hopefully when they are older. We tried but his mom kept making excuses or just not contacting us at all…
Get her therapy! The earlier the better!