Leave for a few days!
I feel like talking would be best… if you leave each other for a few days every time it gets hard where will you end up? You are in a relationship to be there for each other
My ex wasn’t there for me when my dad died. Try counseling so you don’t resent him like I did with my ex. I never forgave him.
Always go with your gut! You can leave for a few days and then talk or talk and then leave for a few days seems like your gut is telling to for a reason
Give yourself breathing room and go visit a friend or something. Just let him know in a nice way
Sounds like you both are going through something. You need to be each other’s rock right now.
Give him peace, but stay. He needs you too. Don’t abandon him during his time of need either. He’s stressed out looking for a job and that is primary right now. Men tend to snap when stressed. So sorry for your situation. Seriously you should consider talking to female friends and getting a job too. These days two incomes are almost always necessary and it would take some stress off of both of you. Seriously he needs you as much as you need him
I’m so sorry for your loss. When my dad passed my boyfriend wasn’t sympathetic at all and was also doing disrespectful things behind my back. I sat with him and told him how I felt, so he became understanding and comforted me when I was feeling down. Talk with your hubby and tell him how you’re feeling. He should be more understanding because you’re still grieving. It takes a toll on your body when you’ve lost someone so close.
It ok for you to take time away from your spouse
Talk and if that doesn’t work get away for a few days
Call a Christian counselor to work on you n what you need A lot of them do a sliding scale google n try 5 stars Usually works well or word of mouth to god bless you always
Lost me at “hectic routine of searching for a job”
Literally everyone is hiring. He’s being selfish.
I don’t mean to be rude or inconsiderate But everywhere you use the word I just replace it with we!!! That’s what a true marriage is 2 become 1 there is no I or me!!! Only we!!! And if you both don’t share that Sentiment you’re wasting your time. Being jobless and the stress it creates is no excuse to be rude or inconsiderate to someone who just lost a love one
TALK, that is the only way to say how you feel! Im sorry for your father’s passing, and im sure it sucks for him finding a job, you guys need each other right now!!!
Prayers for you and your family especially your husband
You lost your father you are still in mourning, your husband lost his job he might feel helpless talk to him go to counseling.
You both need to be supportive and understanding towards each other
I would wait until the children are asleep and honestly tell you’re husband you like to talk to him
Communicate with your partner. Tell him how you feel about he’s attitude and what you need from him. Also ask what does he need from you.
I would leave give each other some space. Of course talk to him first plan it to go stay with a family member or friend. Someone that was close to your dad. Would be great! would be a good healing opportunity for you to talk to someone who loved him just as much as you:two_hearts: and you will be surprised at how much the space could make yall miss each other and rekindle it could be healthy for the both of you.
First thing to do is TALK, and really tell him how you feel. Then if you need a little time out for your own mental health then by all means take a few days
We all need time and space. There is nothing wrong with a few days away. Just make sure to communicate this.
Of course the first thing you should do is run when it gets hard …… or maybe your just extra needy right now (like any of probably would be) and he’s coming up short because your expectations are not realistic? How would you feel if he said hey I’m leaving for a few days because I need to find a job and your being to needy …. I’d assume everyone would say how awful that makes him but yet encouraging you to leave because he isn’t there for you he’s simply looking for a job to support his family I’d imagine as a man not being able to support your family is probably also very stressful
He’s struggling too. You both have losses. Go out go for walks, swim exercise. But abandoning him now during his pain/shame is no a good time idea
I have felt this same way, and are going thru similiar things that you are going thru. I literally went out od town this past week by myself (and my little girl), it was so refreshing. I know this is anonymous but id you need someone to talk to please message me. I will help any way I can.
Let him know how you feel
Pray for your family.
Stay home, call your Dr. Make an appt. Tell him how your feeling & get a antidepressant or some help, just because things are down, don’t walk away because you feel this way, your husband is probaly down also becaus of no work.
First and foremost i would like to extend my deepest condolences in the great loss of your father. I agree that you should take time to leave and get yourself together to mentally wrap your mind around the huge loss that has happened in your life. Explaining this to your husband will probably result in a non approving response but I pray that you are not in a toxic relationship where he will give you an ultimatum. Tell him you need this time to get your thoughts/emotions/ and heart back in track and this time will give you healing. We as women have different roles and where different hats. Right now you are to vulnerable to be the role of wife and need to heal as a daughter. Men usually tend to be selfish and can’t see beyond their own needs so they feel that you should deal with things the way they would not understanding that we process things differently. I hope you heal and find peace in your life.
This is the time to support him, he sounds stressed. However, he also needs to support you with your needs as well. You need to have an adult conversation with him. Leaving someone because they’re not at their best is unforgivable.
So I’m not married or anything like that but in my opinion what’s a few days going to do? If he’s being rude now when you need him most and not supporting you now then will he ever? sure have a break for a few days or a week or something but realistically will it change? That’s what I’d be asking myself
I think you both need to talk about your feelings and be there for each other. He’s going through a rough patch too. Don’t just see it from your side, see it from his as well. In a relationship you work for it. Don’t give up at the first hurdle. He may not be aware of how you are feeling and he probably doesn’t intend to be rude, he is probably just stressed. Talk to him, see how you can both help each other x
Personally I would tell him how you’re feeling, might make you feel abit better and then absolutely take a break!!!
I’m not married but I see nothing wrong with needing a few days. Have a conversation beforehand and lay everything on the table
Sorry for your loss dear! You’re both going through trying times so just give each other space, be there for each other but keep your distance for now and just give it time, things will sort themselves out!
Firstly I’m sorry for your loss and I send you my condolences.
Both? I think its time you took a break and with that tell him how you’re feeling and how you’re feeling unsupported by him especially during a time when you are grieving the loss of your parent.
Y’all are weird and clingy you can’t go a couple days without talking to your spouse??? And I understand that you’re going through some thing I really do but you need to go through it you need to go through the grieving process he cannot fix that for you and I think you need to learn how to be a little bit more independent to be honest
You have to do what is best for you hun. If that means getting away for a few days, do it. Mental health is very important, especially in the role of mommy/wife.
I’m always for a few days away, when I get overwhelmed. If you can swing it, I’d go stay somewhere alone.
You have to do whats best for you. How can you support him if you don’t take care of yourself. Grieving for the loss of a loved one is so hard. There are no rules.
Chesterfield Mental Health Support Services.
Help is available regardless of your financial situation.
Sometimes a little space can really help. Your not leaving him, your taking time for your own mental health. It’s human to need time to yourself, as well as it’s absolutely ok to take time to reflect and think about everything.
Communication is the key!!! BOTH of you are hard pressed and suffering. This is where the rubber meets the road. United you stand, divided you fall! What happened to your martial vows before GOD and Guests… through God times and bad, for better for worse.
This is where you lean on each other AND GOD.
END OF STORY.
When you take your vows between man and GOD, you’re are committing that you are not a quitter!! Recommit. Amen.
Your mental health comes first.
You both are going through emotional stresses. Both experiencing different forms of loss. You need to buckle down and hold your head high, be strong for yourself and your husband. Don’t leave him , that can create more issues. Instead maybe think of something that you both can do to help you both relieve some stress and hurt, some type of healthy interest you both share. Marriage is about both of you and sometimes even when you are down you still need to hold eachother up, both of you. Take a breath take a nice warm bath and have a clear mind.
Try a romantic getaway together to take your mind off the negativity. Prayers
Doesn’t sound healthy.you lost your dad not so long ago you allowed your emotions and how you feel.dont keep it in because he can’t find a job…the more you keep it in the more resentment will start and you both will suffer and stray
Y’all need to communicate. Your feelings as well as his matter. Maybe you can also find a job if you can. Help him out as well. And maybe he can be more understanding to your father passing. Your both lacking the sympathy for each other in these hard times.
If someone left me in that situation, I wouldnt take them back. It’s like saying that your feelings and situations are more important than his. Talk together about it and come to a middle ground. You both should get something out of it and you both will need to give something for it too.
Sit down with him and explain how you’re feeling. Communication is the key. He may not be aware as he’s focused on getting a job.
You need to sit him down and explain to him you are NOT there to take his rudeness and attitude! We all have stress and you CANNOT take it out on your partner! The stress of looking for work ?? Does he yell at his potential employers? Why yell at YOU? He better straighten his attitude or i would leave him for a LONG time.
Talk with him. Sounds like you are both under a lot of stress. Probably need him as much as he needs you. Heart to heart. Team work makes the dream work
Take a break for you sis. You need some healing. Give yourself what he can’t right now.
Leaving him a lone and not talking to him ok. Saying you need some tlc ok. And you do. Saying you are taking a break from your relationship can destroy your relationship. I have been in your boat. Not only did you loose your dad and stress but stressed financially. His side. He just loss your dad your depressed that is going to bother him. He cant provide for his family. You guys are in the same boat but cant see each other pain. Work at it slowly. Work on yourself to heal. I know this sounds off but me and my husband have been there and done this a dozen time. We loss 3 kids. All our grandparents my parents and more.
When my man is stressed and gets rude while I am in my depressive state. It can be like that too. Quite often actually. (Its been a long year.) So what I do is stop the convo, look at him and tell him “youre being a dick right now. And I will not deal with it because I dont deserve to be talked to like that just because youre upset over your problems. You dont want my help. So Lower your tone”. I tell him to lower his tone every time he starts to get frustrated and raise his voice. Its gotten better over a few months of consistently being fed up with the things he says to me because hes being short. And working at him on it. But when I hit a point where my temper is brought out over me trying to express how he made me feel, I walk to the bedroom and thats our sign that tells him I’m upset or sleeping because im done with his shit🤷🏻♀️🤌🏼 Because hes not the biggest on communication. But it gives us both time to reflect on what we said/did and how the other might feel. He always ends up coming to my side of the bed and tries to make it better. Sure its not resolved quicker than a few hours. But honestly. If you need a day or weekend to get away and think about your life. Do it!!! I do and it feels so much better. Because if those feelings still reside from him being rude to you. Then it gives you time to be in the right mental space to formally bring it up in a convo and figuring out what you want him to know
Talk to him and tell him what you need. If he doesn’t facilitate it, then make your own arrangements for a weekend away.
let him know how you’re feeling and then let him know what you’re doing. You should take some time for you it’s OK to do that
never Kick A Women Down Either
Talk to him and if he is rude about it then leave for a few days
Communicate but if he doesn’t comprehend, then do what you feel is best.
Maybe he’s just trying to find job for himself too and he’s also stress abt it. Talk to him sis.
Talk to him. Leaving him for days isn’t going to help anything. Explain how you need to feel supported.
Communication is key. Running away from problems doesn’t solve them. They will still be there waiting when u return. Talk it out.
If you feel like you need to for your mental health then. you should
You Deserve Better Than Whose And That’s Jest That’s It
If you leave your husband in his time of need why are you even married?
Leave for a days and talk to him
Mcd9nalds is always hiring on mean time is what I’d tell his butt
Talk to him, explain how you feel.
Communication is key. Talk to him, girl.
Talk with him…let him know how your feeling if he doesn’t have compassion leave and think about your options
Communication works best in my relationship we are 20 and 21 yrs old with 2 kids and he isn’t so great at communicating but I am and when I talk he listens and it really helps us out tell him how you are feeling but in a calmly manner don’t make it seem like you’re ambushing him (I learned that the hard way) but also yes it is totally okay to take a few days to yourself if it is what YOU need you can’t make someone else happy if you aren’t happy
Take a few days out for yourself. I’ve done it. Sort your head out. When you go back and you Still feel trapped. Then you need to rethink your situation
Do what is right for you and kids. If you need a break take one.
I would talk to him and take my week or whatever I needed. You need compassion but you also sound like you need space.
I felt like that with the muscle aches and all my dr couldn’t find anything wrong with me and told me I’m feeling this way due to stress and sure enough she was correct.
Marriage is not easy, but stay work it out, trust God to lead and guide you both.
Take time fill up your cup
sit down and tell him how you feel. let him know that you don’t feel like he cares… then take some time to wrap your head around your circumstances and just breathe. pray a lot and don’t beat yourself up for needing some space to recharge a little. God bless and heal you.
just remember he can’t know what your feeling if there isn’t any communication
First I want to say I am sorry for your loss. But honestly communication is key. Tell him how you feel. If talking doesn’t work write him a letter. Also talk to your doctor about the depression, I use to be one of those that thought I didn’t need any help with my depression. Talking with your doctor works wonders.
My condolences on your loss. Your communication has become broken, you both are responsible for it. You both need to remember how to lean on each other. You need to be there for him and he needs to be there for you. Work on it.
I would come away for a few days go to be with someone who has the time for you not in a horrible way but sounds like you need your peace at the moment he will probably realise soon enough and you’ll be ok just sometimes you can’t help each other that’s why it’s so important to have other people to lean on perhaps you could let a friend of his know or family know he is struggling so he has support too x
I’m sorry you’re going through this at this time x
Insta cat needs to quit suggesting stuff. I’m glad I joined this site to know why shoppers do the things they do. I would have thought you done list your mind if I ordered something and you brought noon food items. If I ordered the balloons and you brought me the Barbie I would have thought what the heck! Are they crazy out what? Lol, I didn’t realize they choose replacements until today. This may explain why instead of gasx we got spaghetti sauce, lol.
I get that you are wanting his time and sympathy, but are you also returning the same energy to him? Finding a job can be stressful, especially if you feel like it’s all dependent on you finding said job. It’s a 2 way street for sure. You both need to sit down and be there for each other.
Talk to him about how you feel, he should be able to understand you. And if not then let him know you will get away for a few days which I wouldn’t recommend. Maybe call your local church for counseling as a couple or just for you.
Yes you are right. You have to fuel up your batteries girl take care!
I’m the one in my relationship that when I’m stress or emotionally exhausted I shut down and want to be left alone… I will only talk when I’m ready… otherwise I want to be left alone… give him time.
Let him know he’s hurting your feelings. Take a bath. Walk. See a friend for a couple hours. Cry. Do what you gotta do
Sounds like he is trying to find a job, not lazy status so NO do not leave. Take a walk, a bath.
she Deserve To Be Treated Better She Need His Support Now Not A Beat Down
You do you. If you need a break, take it.
Do what’s BEST FOR YOU!!
Maybe he needs alone time too. Ask him. And both of yall take your time outs🥰
He is acting this way towards you because he already feels bad about not having a job and men want to provide for their families so he is pushing you away thinking you don’t want him anymore and you would leave him now but you don’t know how to,so in his mind he’s helping you do that but it’s killing him.talk to him let him know that you are in this with him and you will never give up on him. Support each other.