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QUESTION:
"Been dating my bf for almost a year. We met on a dating app. I’m very disappointed in myself for lowering my standards enough to look for someone online. But, it’s the way now. So, anyway, we met we had a connection, he was very interested, me not so much. I eventually started warming up, and we became intimate and I’m the type that when physical intimacy happens I tend to become attached. So I asked him one night If he would want to hang out, and he told me he had plans with his kids, who were 21 and 17 at the time to go out of town with because he has not been able to see them much due to Corona. Ok. Cool. Fast forward to a week later, he wants to take me out of town to this awesome place he and his kids stayed at a week prior. It was lovely. On the way back to our town we were talking about various topics and he slipped and said that he hadn’t seen his kids in over three weeks. He immediately knew he had slipped up. I laughed it off. Deep down knew he was lying but at the time I thought we were barely official and I wasn’t trying to dwell on something like that. Fast forward to now, I have developed a very good relationship with his youngest who is now 18, and it came up last night in conversation and the poor child was so put on the spot and you could see he was a little uncomfortable. My boyfriend tried to manipulate the situation into making his son think it was all a joke, the whole time I’m thinking… what a damn liar. So now I’m kind of upset to know it took him almost a year of lying and to know he took me to the same place he met someone else a week Pryor. Am I being immature? Should I let it go like I have the past year when I didn’t know for sure but now I know for sure and I’m pissed."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I would walk away if I was you as not only he is disrespecting you. He is manipulating his children"
"Girl be smart n leave this man."
"Maybe you need to sit down and have an honest conversation with him. It’s likely he was talking to multiple people and didn’t cut anyone out to talk to only you until he knew it was going somewhere. That’s kinda how dating works. Give him the opportunity to be honest. He’s probably trying to save face. But if he can’t be honest, go. You can’t build a home on a foundation of lies."
"The man is lying to you. He is just playing a role and leading you on while playing the field. Don’t further a relationship like this now that he has shown his true colors."
"Nope! Bye boy!!! Run far away from anyone you catch in a lie early on!!"
"A year later from now if u haven’t left him already, u will regret staying. A man that mixed up his lies and involving his kids is Not someone you can call ur own. Ultimately the choice is yours… call it prophetic vision…he’s not the one for u."
"Do you like the way this makes you feel? Because if you stay with him, you will go through this again and again. I’d ditch him."
"A liar is a liar is a liar. I would say goodbye. There’s no place for dishonesty in a relationship."
"The biggest red flag is the fact that he’s indoctrinating children into his webs of lies, that is the hanging offense here"
"Firstly, you shouldn’t be disappointed in meeting someone online. Meeting people out and about these days is next to impossible. And honestly, my sister met her now fiance 8years ago online and I met my bf of 2 years online as well. Now, as for the actual reason for the post. I say end it. If he still isn’t willing to take it seriously and own up then why bother. Plus whose to say he isn’t still doing it? Lying in the beginning of a relationship and then getting away with it only breeds the ground for more lies and trust issues. I’d leave now before some serious issues develop"
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