Should I let my child's father sister in my life?

Don’t let his actions keep the child’s family away. The more people that baby has to love them and help with them the better

I’d get to know her and let her be part of the babies life. Her wanting to be there is something and the baby needs as much family around as possible and it gives you that support aswell… I think it says alot about the person she is already :heart: xx

You got 9 months to get to know her

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I would at least give it a try. You may not have the father in the baby’s life, but if and when she has kids then your kid will still have cousins and family ties to that side. My little brother has a son that we just found out about. He got the girl pregnant when he was 17 and she was 18 and they had a really rocky relationship, so they broke up just before she found out and then never told him about the baby. She ended up meeting her now husband while she was pregnant and got married shortly afterwards, so then she came up to my brother and had him sign away his rights so her husband could adopt the baby. He went ahead and did it because they could give him a better life than he could provide. He kept it all to himself and didn’t even tell my mom about his son. She actually found out because he told his current girlfriend and she told my mom. Now my mom and I are kind of sad because we would have loved to have a relationship with them. I just think that my kids would have loved to have another cousin. Would it be weird to message her on Facebook since I never met her? I was thinking about telling her that I just found out about my brother’s baby and that if she was ever planning on telling the kid about his biological dad (when he gets old enough) then I would like to be involved in his life. Even if he just has questions about our family, his dad, and his family tree kind of questions. I just want to tell her that I would support whatever decision she makes and I qould not be trying to start anything. I just wanted her to know that her son has an aunt that would like to be part of his life is all. I just don’t want to come off as weird or anything. LOL

Children need all the family they can get, as long as she’s a decent human being. Why deny the child a relationship with an aunt


I would! Do it for your baby. As long as she is good influence on you and the baby, I don’t see nothing wrong with that. I wish I would’ve had the chance to meet my nephew. I know about him, but he doesn’t know about me. It makes me sad!


If she wants to be,let her.

I think you should meet her and get to know each other. Just because the dad doesn’t want anything to do with the baby, the rest of his family shouldn’t be punished.


If you don’t know her, now is the time to do that. BEFORE the baby gets here. Be upfront with sis. When you have boundaries you will see truths about people. Do you want him involved? To see pictures, to hear about your labor/delivery, to have access later? Many questions come to mind in this situation. Address your concerns on paper then present to her. She either complies or is out. This baby needs family but it needs healthy family.


As long as she isnt toxic, I don’t see why not. I wish my kids had more family that wanted to be involved in their lives. Out of 8 aunts and uncles, just one of them cares enough to video chat (we live in different states) I’d say let her

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That baby is still her blood too, give her a chance and see how it all goes.


If she is not toxic.

My brother wasn’t involved in my nephews life and I reached out to the mother to be involved later on. She thankfully said yes. But it’s always been about what she’s comfortable with. So if you feel comfortable with it, say yes. If it gives you pause and you don’t like the situation, you 100% can say no. Go with how you feel.

Meet her. If she is cool then do it. Kids need all the family they can get and aunts are great! Set boundaries about the dad early on. As long as she is respectful I think its great


Yes! My sons dad had nothing to do with him for years but his sisters been involved since pregnancy. Things are better with his dad now but I’d have never forgiven myself if I didn’t give her the chance. A baby can never have too many people to love & care for them


I say you do what you want and nobody else.

Do not keep anyone from your child who wants to love them and not cause harm

If she respects you and yours, I say yes.

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Its his job to maintain those relationships, unless you want the added task.

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Never deny your child of more love! Get to know her really well first and get a feel for what she’s like, if she has kids, her lifestyle. If you can’t find any other reason to not let her be involved I don’t see why you shouldn’t.

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Yes ofcourse, that’s your child’s aunt and she has the right to know your child. My oldest little girl’s dad was absent for the first year of her life, but all his family were involved from day 1. My daughter went for sleepovers on weekends with them, was a hard decision to make but it was what i felt was best for her.

Dad finally grew up and started seeing our daughter when she turned 1 and she has had fortnightly visits every fortnight for the last 4 years, she still goes out day trips etc with his family too. Do what’s best for your unborn child and give them a chance to know ALL of their family members, if it doesn’t work out you can put a stop to it but definitely worth the chance.

A baby can never be loved to much

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Better to find out now before the baby is born what her agenda is if she genuinely just wants to be involved that’s awesome and if you find out sooner rather than later you can cut her out if she’s bad for the kid before the kid even knows who she is

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Figure her out before the birth. You will know if she is gonna be over bearing and toxic. If toxic run!


It’s clearly up to you hun

At least meet her. He may not want anything to do with the baby but if his family wants to, and they are not ‘toxic’, then I don’t see an issue.

Make the decision that let’s your child know that u tried

My opinion is let her in as long as she doesn’t cause any drama. Sometimes the mother has to be the better parent and make those connections for your child. Your child will thank you some day for keeping those lines open.

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Absolutely I think the sister should be allowed in the child’s life even though the the dad doesn’t want to be

Meet her and see how things go. She is the Aunt after all.

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My brother had nothing to do with his kids, my (ex) sister in law was amazing enough to see my nieces and nephews when ever I wanted! I took them every other weekend and 2 weeks in the summer for 6 years. I don’t have anything to do with my brother because of the way he treated his kids- even to the point of denying paternity.

Yeah just because he’s a moron doesn’t mean she is. She may help you a lot

Definitely yes. The more family to love that child and be a positive in their life, the better!

Always try. Its not the aunts fault. Kids grow up and will want to throw in your face that you kept them away from family.

Its nice for the baby as long as you get on OK she isn’t the dad and I would give it a go

I’m sorry to tell you this but keep everyone as far away from you as possible once you have that child go have DNA done and file full custody of your child I don’t care if you’re married or not just do it because these people all have agendas

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They will steal your child out from under you

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My child’s father hasn’t got much at all to do with our son but his family is AMAZING. I could never deprive him of a family because of of 1 persons poor decision. He is so loved! As long as her intentions are genuine you and your baby have nothing to loose :relaxed::heart:

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What if you were in her shoes? Your brother knocks someone then ditches them. (No fault of yours)They are now prego with niece/nephew. …
I’d say meet her. You could always use the help and support. If shes nothing but a drama filled headache drop the association. Sometimes the guys a dick but his family is amazing. I would leave the door open but expect nothing. If they choose to put forth the effort to kno the child awesome.

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I’d say no. If she didn’t care at all about you before she found out, and now all of a sudden wants to be up your ass because you have a baby, that’s not going to be a healthy relationship. She’s using you to get to the kid. Especially if the father wants zero to do with it. As someone who had people try to do that to me when they found out I was pregnant, those relationships won’t be at all healthy. And it creates unnecessary drama no matter what you chose, but always remember, YOU ARE THE MOM and if YOU, as the MOM, don’t want something or someone around YOUR child, especially if you’re the ONLY parent in the equation, it is always 1000% YOUR choice to do what YOU feel is right for YOU and YOUR BABY. Nobody else can tell you what to do. At the end of the day it’s YOUR choice, YOUR life, and YOUR child. PERIOD.

She’s not your family, but sure she’s your baby aunt, so let her be in the life of your baby.

I am not a mom. But my bio wants nothing to do with me. He made this painfully clear to my mother, then me when I found out he was my bio. But I still have my grandparents in my life (his parents) and I am so thankful for that. This might not be the case for everyone but… If things go well and the fathers sister stays in the babies life, it will make the fact the father chose to leave a little less bitter. At least that’s how I think about it with my grandparents

If she wants to be apart of it why not?

I may be overly cautious but if you ever plan on establishing a relationship with members of his family do background checks. You have no idea who they are beyond what they choose to tell you. Best of luck!

Having an aunt is special but also be wary and on guard nobody these days can be trusted she may be sincere but also have a motive

If you don’t feel comfortable with it then no
But if she is genuine and wants to be in your life and babies life and makes an effort to then I don’t see why not


One of my coworkers had a situation like this, except she did know the father’s family. She became very close to his sisters and parents. They were a really good ally to have when the dad did want to come into her daughter’s life around 10 years old! She was very apprehensive but knew she could count on the family if things went wrong or the daughter felt scared.

I would try to start up a relationship with the sister first and see how that goes. If she send trustworthy amongst many other things then I feel that’s ok but obviously it’s your decision. If the father doesn’t want any part of the baby, his family still does have the right but in the end it’s your decision.

Test the water first. If it’s cold then no but if it’s warm then when the baby’s born it’ll have an aunt from that side. No harm no foul to try. If she starts stuff drop her.

There’s no harm in trying to start a good relationship with her. The more support and love that baby gets the better :two_hearts:


There’s no harm in trying! She just wants to be in her nieces or nephews life

She did nothing wrong. I see no harm in meeting with her.

Also, her brothers actions have nothing to do with her. She’s done nothing wrong. It’s possible she has the best of intentions.


You can’t force people to be apart of your child’s life, Like said above if she is truly genuine about starting some kind of relationship, then no harm. My brother is not with his child’s mother, but I am involved in my nephews life… No harm in extra family loving your child :yellow_heart:


If that child has people who genuinely want to love him/her let them. Meet her a few times before birth and get a feel. You don’t have to let her take the baby or babysit.

I would let them, I’d try to have a relationship with her first so you’re more comfortable and she doesn’t feel like a stranger but the more people in the babies life that love and care for babe the better

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Yes! That baby needs an aunt who loves them too. Maybe she becomes someone whos 100% on your side and will help you out when you need it.


Don’t let a bitter relationship stop positive people from being in your child’s life if she’s a good person let her it could be wonderful for your baby we can’t let our personal feelings get in the way of what’s good and healthy for our babies :heart:


I personally wouldn’t until you know her motives


I still talk to my son’s grandma (father’s side) my son hasn’t seen his father in 6 years his mother has been a blessing and she’s so good to my son

Mama you need to do what you think is best and if he is not included then you need to think before you allow his sister to be because there is a reason why your not allowing him to be I am Sure

I would try and get to know her now while your still pregnant she may be the only one fro. The father side the baby has and/or she could be the bridge for the child to get to know its fathers family with or without dad. You have to put your feeling for the father aside its about the baby

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I would meet her, keep the baby’s dad out of any conversation you are having. Start slow, maybe a wonderful friendship will develop.

Absolutely. You can never have enough people in your circle who love your child. As long as she is respectful and safe, let your child have that auntie.


I believe it would be good to be in contact with the sister, you never know when your child will need information about the paternal side of her family tree.

You are going to want all the support you can!

One thing to always remember is you can’t miss what you’ve never had.

Different but same… my son was a baby his bio committed suicide… in turn his family bailed on me and my boys, except his one sister… she respects my boundaries of our situation now that my son is older but she is like my sister… our kids love each other I love her to death… i guess i see it as anyone willing to love your child like u would should be given at least the opportunity… I’d be letting my son do without if she were not in our lives…

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She’s your baby’s aunt. I would let my child be surrounded by all that love them.

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My ex husbands sister is in my daughters life and my daughter is now 12. She tells me all the time how thankful she is to have an aunt that loves her so much. Don’t let the bitterness take over your judgement. The more people who want to show your kid love, the better for the kid. I hope this helps in what you decide. In the end, if it’s not a healthy relationship you can always end things later. At least give it a try and see how you two bond also. :blush:


He may not but thats still their blood as well. Of course check it out and make sure it is all on the up and up and that they are good people.

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Get to know her first then make your decision

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Yes. Anybody who is related to the baby and wants to love it should be given the opportunity to. Leaving her out because of her brothers foolishness is petty


…the child’s family shouldn’t have to be alienated because of the fathers choice. What did they do…


I would be wary, especially if you’ve never met her before but like others have said build up a relationship with her and get to know her and if you think she will be good for the baby then go for it. I don’t know where you live but in England the only people who have actual rights to the baby is the mother and father (that’s only if the father is on the Birth certificate too) by law no other people but the parent/parents (or legal guardian if adopted etc) have rights to the child. But test the water and if how you feel once you’ve gotten to know a bit more about her x

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Let her in and see hie it goes give her a chance, if you don’t like her then keep to your self

Yes i think its fair to try.

So my twins father left at 2 weeks old. His sister is pretty active in their lives, video chats, phone calls, sending money when she can. I’ve always said, I won’t keep my kids from anyone who actively makes an effort to be involved


If you meet her and feel comfortable with her, then absolutely yes. Another person to support you and your baby, and more family for your baby to love and be loved by. It takes a village to raise a child, so if you have good people, keep them!

If u have negative feelings about it, don’t do it. Don’t mess up ur peace.

Yes but I wouldn’t talk about the brother at all with her.

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You chose him as your child’s father. Your child’s father has a sister that wants to be an aunt to her niece or nephew. Let her.
Don’t keep people out because of their association. But don’t beg them to be involved either.


If she is genuine and you get to know her and trust her then I’d say yes. The more people who you trust that loves your child the better in my opinion

If you have never had an issue or you don’t have a reason not to let her. I don’t see why not. Just because the father doesn’t, the rest of his family that wants to be involved in the child’s life should have that opportunity. I wouldn’t stop them, unless you have a legit reason too.

Sure. She’s still that child’s aunt. Unless she’s toxic around the child she should be given the opportunity to be an aunty. Having good family around is never a bad thing for children. Don’t let your feelings for the father make your child miss out on having a relationship with his family. Unless she’s toxic and causes trouble for you…

A child can not have enough people to love them if the aunt is willing to put forth the effort to be involved then I would allow it. As long as she respects you as a mother and is not toxic or dangerous why not?? I split from my child’s father he wanted nothing to do with the child and his brother and sister in law remained an active part and is even “aunt and uncle” to my younger child that is not even related to them.


Do you have other children? Because it takes a village.

Yes. So long as it’s a healthy relationship. Also, she didn’t bail.

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Take baby steps with her. Find out if she really wants to be involved or be there to gather info against you. I hope she is genuine and really wants to be involved but in this age one never knows.

Let her she could be an advocate in your corner

my brother and his baby momma were best friends for years. our family housed her countless times and even saved her life once. many years of friendship. then she got pregnant by my brother and threatened to cut us off. the only time i met my neice is the day she was born. my mom never got to meet her granddaughter. its sad. i wanted my kids to have a cousin. i want to be an aunt. growing up our best friends were our cousins. now that baby is over 1 maybe 2 and has no idea who we are :frowning: ive reached out countless times but she doesnt care. it sucks

Just because the father is a loser dont cut out the rest of the family . Let them make their choice to be involved with the baby . Never keep family from your baby or the baby from them .

Yes! As long as it’s a healthy relationship.

Maybe give her a chance. Its not her fault the father dont want nothing to do with the child. The family shouldn’t have to suffer. Just try it and see how things go. Make sure u trust her first before leaving the child alone with her first. Kinda like supervised visits.

The father and his sister are two different people. Absolutely try to spend time with her first to get a feel for her, but don’t shut her out just because the baby’s father doesn’t want to be around. I can’t imagine telling my in-laws they couldn’t see their nephew/grandbaby if my husband ever took off (not that he ever will, but as a “what if” haha). But absolutely I would try to vet them first to make sure they’re safe for the baby to be around.

It’s not about you, it’s about the baby. Anyone that wants to be in the baby’s life should be.

I think you can try, I would plus you need all the help and support for the days ahead…

Go with your gut. A women’s intuition is always right !!

I say its their choice (of course if yall can get along and agree on things) the father said no but she wants to he an aunty and his parents might want to be grandma and grandpa too? Ya never know !!
I would do the same thing if my brother was a douchbag it would crush my heart not taking my neices to go get ice cream and pants from the mall :frowning:
Ultimately it is your choice and you do what you feel is right and best for you and your child!! no one can tell you what is or is not right for you and your child always remember that :yellow_heart:

My sons father bailed when I was pregnant and baby daddies family is full of nothing but liars but his sister reached out to me and I’ve accepted her fully. She lives in Florida while I live in West Virginia but we check on each other and give updates on our kids (they are only a month apart in age) and despite the bad blood with my sons father, she’s a good auntie! Don’t exclude her if she has good intentions and just wants to be involved :blush:

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Can’t let peopel here answer for you, this is your call.