Should I let my child's father sister in my life?

The father of my unborn child wants nothing to do with the child. His sister recently found out from a friend that I was pregnant, and now she wants to be involved. I don’t know if I should involve her in its life. ( I’ve never met her before) plus I still have a feeling for the father

32 Likes

I would for sure…as long as she isn’t a harm to the baby or you…the more people in that babies life to love it the better!! :blue_heart::purple_heart:

11 Likes

Okay so if this baby is the niece or nephew of her yes. We break up with boyfriends/girlfriends. But that baby will always have the same auntie. And it takes a village!!! The more love that baby has the better off it will be!

13 Likes

Dont deny your child the opportunity of knowing an awesome aunty… If she does the wrong thing by you, fair enough. But its not her fault you are in this situation. Keep an open mind, you have no reason not to.

7 Likes

Same as my experience before. I wanted to move on with my life and from the feelings that I still have with the babydaddy so I didn’t let anyone of his relative became a part of my journey. It may be selfish at first, but it was what I needed to heal from the heartache and to have peace in mind. But that really depends on your emotional capacity. Either decision is not bad. Just choose what’s best for you.

4 Likes

What does she have to do with you and him? Why would you deny your child a (possibly) amazing aunt cuz you’re bitter at baby daddy? F him! If his family wants to be there, and theyre generally good ppl who can be trusted, then let them…they’re your child’s family too

10 Likes

I’d meet her first. And just ask what her intentions are

3 Likes

Let her but keep it strictly about the kid don’t talk bad about her brother let her until she screws up

1 Like

I would. When me and my ex husband split he left their lives completely for a little over 5 years but his sister wanted to be in their lives still so I let her. They were all young (newborn, 1 and 2). So they just knew she was aunt Jackie and didn’t think anything of it or ask any questions.

Yes dad may be an ass but doesn’t mean his family is. Best thing i could’ve done for my now 12 year old daughter. Was let his family in her life. His mom is one of the most amazing women ever.

Take care of YOU first. You dont owe anyone access to you or your unborn baby right now. Focus on you, establish your role as a new mom and when you’re comfortable you can decide.

5 Likes

The more safe adults you have looking out for your child, the better

2 Likes

Make sure to have him sign over his rights to the child immediately. You don’t want him going back and trying to take the child.

Be careful. Never let the kid alone with him or any of his family. You never know, she could kidnap the kid and give it to the dad if he has a change of heart. People are crazy

1 Like

It takes a village! Get to know her and if you don’t end up liking her you then that’s that.

3 Likes

I would never keep a family member away that is trying to be a part of their life. She might not be able to have kids and yes it might seem selfish to allow her to see yours but you might just change her life by letting her be an auntie

5 Likes

She may become your biggest ally and show your baby such love from an Aunty. She is family now so I would at least try for your baby’s sake

2 Likes

If they are not toxic then yes!!! Family is important. A aunty for your daughter. And you and her may get on really well.

1 Like

As long as she respects you and isn’t causing drama yes absolutely

1 Like

From the aunts view…I missed alot of my niece’s and nephews lives, due to issues from both parents, funny as adults the estranged ones have come to me, love family :sparkling_heart:

2 Likes

Yes my sons father isnt in my sons life but his family is more active in his life than my own! I am forever grateful for them and my son adores his aunt and nana to the fullest. Go with your intuition I’m sure they have nothing but good intentions!

5 Likes

She could be the best auntie in the world def give her a go but I would be clear about boundaries just keep the relationship between you her and the child nothing else should be brought into it or brought up x

4 Likes

Don’t cut all ties, you or the child may need her one day

2 Likes

I would follow your gut. If you’re hesitant, then there’s probably a reason for that especially considering you’ve never even met her.

From experience, she could have an alternative motive and she could be trying to keep an eye on you for the father. Although, it is possible she simply wants to be an aunt to your child. Either way, your baby’s best interest is most important and if you don’t feel comfortable having her involved then don’t.

She is the aunt that wants to be involved. Please let her be part of the child’s life!

2 Likes

Ok, so here’s my 2 cents…

You say you have never met the sister before… make sure her intentions are good. Make sure you get to know her. I’m not saying she’s crazy or anything but the world has gone extremely nuts. Just be careful. She could become a great asset to your child’s life. However, just be careful… do a little research before allowing her to be alone with your child.

15 Likes

My ex left me while pregnant and both his sisters were very supportive and continue to be in my life even now that my husband adopted my son. Family is a choice too

3 Likes

The more love and support that child has the better. I broke up with my first born’s dad when I was 3 months pregnant. Have never heard a peep from him or any members of his family since. Luckily I have an amazing family and group of friends and he now has a DAD so he has never been denied love. Had any member of my ex’s family reached out and wanted to be part of his life, I would have embraced that. The more love and support surrounding a child, the better. This, of course, is assuming that the family isnt toxic.

1 Like

Just be careful, interest might be all good, but also she might be looking for information about the baby and you for the father. You never know the good or bad, just enter with your eyes wide open

1 Like

It would be weird for me if I had never met her, but maybe she feels like she should because of the way her brother is being

I say get to know her and let her be around as long as she proves she trustworthy and a good person for ur child be around. I personally wouldnt leave my child alone with his family members unless u feel otherwise after getting to know her.

Never keep someone who wants to love your baby from them. Your baby can never have enough love.

4 Likes

If your unsure, then you can eather A) tell her your unsure about how you feel about it, and that you need time to adjust to the new situation, and figure out how you feel about it or B) set up a time to meet her to feel her out. If your still unsure by the end of it, tell her as much and get her contact info. That way your opponent’s are open.

1 Like

Let them be there at your pace you will know if you trust them the longer it goes

I would never deny my child love

1 Like

Meet up with her before you make up your mind you never know you might get on very well and become good friends .

1 Like

it sounds as if she want to give you support from his family. Take it for what it is, and then stop if you feel uncomfortable.

1 Like

Maybe chat with her first and get to know her, meet her in person, and establish a friendship/get to know her before the baby is born.

1 Like

I’d say give her a chance. Family is important, if your child has the opportunity to be loved by an aunt, grandma etc on the other side of his or her family, give them a chance to love your child. If they aren’t respectful of you as this child’s mother, THEN you can decide not to have her involved.

2 Likes

Yes you should… It’s not her fault her brothers a dumb ass… She is still the childs aunt. My brother has a little girl that he has nothing to do with and even just gave up his rights too… Me and mom were heart broken and angry at him… But I reached out to the mom and told her how important it was to me to be in my nieces life and how much I love her and that just cuz my brothers dumb please dont punish us and she has been great, she sends pics, and let’s us FaceTime (they live far away) as long as my niece knows I love her and that I always tried to be in her life is all that matters to me.

I did this with my kids father’s sister and mom. He wasn’t around but I didn’t want to deprive my son of his family they were wonderful with him we would have play dates since his sister’s son was close to the age of mine and they would babysit if I ever needed it. Yes every family is different but you don’t want to regret it later ease into it and feel the situation out

1 Like

That child has family that wants to be involved. Let them. Your feelings towards that man have nothing to do with that child. My oldest child’s father has not stepped up in fifteen YEARS yet I allow his stepmother and all five of his sisters as well as his cousins, aunts, and uncles in his life. I would never hold his ignorance against them. My son is a better person because of them being involved (thank you Nika Martinez). Put that baby FIRST !!!

5 Likes

I would be devastated if my nieces mom shut me out just because my brother doesnt want to be a dad. Thankfully shes always been good with me and i see my niece pretty much whenever i ask! All she wants to do is love your baby. I say you should let her.

1 Like

Siblings should be able to form a bond if healthy to do so!

Hmm… I would meet her first and go from there. She could be super nice and a loving aunt and want the best for her niece or nephew. See the vibe you get from her. If she is that way great I wouldn’t keep your child from her because of fathers shitty decision. But if she is toxic or wanting to start stuff then I’d cut her out.

It would be great for the love and support but just a suggestion if at all possible do a background check on her first

It’s hard to say. I would want to expose the child to as much family as I could because they’ll want that love and support. But I completely understand not wanting to be involved with a complete stranger. Maybe get to know her before baby is born and see how it goes? You can always walk away at any point if you have an off feeling.

Let her, she has done no wrong.

2 Likes

You should definitely try to give it a chance!
Get to know her, I can speak from experience that aunties are great to have in a child’s life especially if they’re the ones reaching out

2 Likes

Yes you should, they are 2 separate people. I dont have any brothers but if I did and he didnt want his child first off I’d slap some sense into him and second i would still want to be there for my niece or nephew. I do agree be cautious bc some can be crazy or in it for the wrong reasons but i would giver her the chance. Your feelings for the father are irrelevant you are a parent now time to do what best for baby.

I would absolutely let that baby know his/her other half of the family… they wanna meet that baby obviously so i would say yes. If he doesnt wanna be involved fuck him.

I would let her if she wants to be…it’s not her fault her brother is a deadbeat

3 Likes

I cut my ex out of my life and kept his sister :joy::joy:
Never underestimate extended family!!!

3 Likes

Get to know her then decide. She could be the complete opposite of her brother. As a single mom take all the support you can get. Having aunts and uncles who care is a blessing and never a bad thing.

1 Like

Unless or until she gives you an actual reason TO keep her away, let her around her niece or nephew to be.
Her BROTHER is who did you and baby wrong.
NOT HER.
You know what they say about karma.
How would you feel in HER shoes?

1 Like

Try getting to know her first. She may be a really good person and if the father is not going to be there at least she’ll have some type of exposure to her other side.

1 Like

Yes let her its about the baby the more love the better. Shes a good woman for stepping up that already shows for somthing

1 Like

Family is family. Its the right of the baby and the aunt to have a relationship.

1 Like

Let her that’s the childs auntie at the end of the day and she wasn’t the one who did you any wrong.

2 Likes

Id make sure you get a custody order or transfer of parental rights before you do.
She has a right to see the child but you need to protect yourself and the baby.
If she wanted to she could take the baby away and youd never find her and the police cant stop her because there wasnt a custody agreement.
And dont refer to your baby as an “it’s”

Speaking as an aunt to a nephew I have never gotten to meet, I feel like you should giver her the opportunity to know her niece or nephew. Just because the “bio-sperm donor” wants nothing to do with it, doesn’t mean that’s how the rest of the family feels. In my case, she’s still trying to hide the paternity or avoid reminding her boyfriend that he isn’t the father, so therefore won’t allow me to be in my nephew’s life. But I think about him often and how much I miss out on, especially since I have a couple of babies now myself. They will never get to know their cousin, and I miss out on his important milestones and just being able to be there for him, because she feels guilty for cheating on her man with my brother.

3 Likes

My neices mother and I never met until she jumped on a plane with my neice to bring her to meet my family despite my deadbeat brother being the father he has absolutely nothing to do with my neice but my whole family my mum dad sister and younger brother myself and my son all play an active role in my niece’s life even though she lives on the other side of Australia. My brother’s loss because my neice is absolutely perfect in every way. As a family we want nothing but to know our family and have a bond with her and her mother is amazing for allowing us to

6 Likes

His family deserves to know the baby just coz the dad wants to be a dead beat

2 Likes

I still have contact with my baby daddy’s family they love my children and accept me as family, I personally will never keep my children from seeing them.

Yes I would never stop family they haven’t done anything and it’s not there fault u have feelings for him still.

1 Like

As long as the lady doesnt think she has any rights as shes a blood relative etc I’d let her, she is the babys aunt after all, my girls absolutely love their aunties to pieces

1 Like

If I were in a situation like this I definitely would give her a chance. That is her niece/nephew, she could be a really good person who wants to be in the babies life. I think any family member who proves to not be toxic/a danger should be allowed to see the child. This is my opinion though, you’re the one who can choose to involve her or not.

I was in a similar situation my son’s father has been inconsistent in his 3 yrs on earth but his sister has always been there calling to check up on us making time to visit when she is in town (she lives 3 hrs away) all I’m saying is it is nice to have someone to connect your child with their father’s side even if its not the father himself she was a great asset when medical issues with my son came up and doctors started asking about both sides medical history im forever grateful for her reaching out and staying consistent for my son

2 Likes

Definitely. It’s an awesome feeling if her intentions are genuine. My ex was doing drugs and that was all he cared about. I left with my daughter who was almost one year old at the time. No one in his family ever ask about my daughter and we lived on the same street. When they would see us they wouldn’t even say hi to her. Nothing was her fault. It was an awful feeling but, I realized that she didn’t need them that I shouldn’t feel bad. It was their loss. The only one that reached out was his older niece. To this day she calls her and even comes to our new place with her kids. We also visit her and my husband is very supportive.

1 Like

That is his aunt. If she makes the effort, you should encourage that relationship.

2 Likes

I’d test the waters. She might be a really nice person. She can’t help how her brother chose to handle being a dad. At least your baby will have someone on the paternal side that wants to be around.

1 Like

I would. My sons family is in his life.

2 Likes

Omg yes. As an auntie I’d be absolutely guttered to not know my nieces and nephews :sob::sob::sob:
Regardless of the father and how you feel, thats still the babys family. Start of slow. Gain a friendship with her. No one is saying let her babysit your newborn. But let her be the fun aunt that your baby adores its whole life.

3 Likes

The more people in a child’s life who really love them and care about them the better

1 Like

That’s still her niece or nephew. Get to know her so you can judge for yourself whether you want her involved or not.

1 Like

Meet her!! Get to know her!! Then make your decision :heartpulse::heartpulse::heartpulse:

2 Likes

Yes allow her…i would have accept any help you sure didnt get your self pregnant…and maybe he’ll come around too…everything happens for the best…

1 Like

the more people who love your child the better

1 Like

You can befriend her and allow her to be that baby’s auntie without mentioning the father.
If he chose out, you have to respect that.
Your village can never be too big.

1 Like

Awwwww have a little trust never keep family away even if it is father sister who cares could be two competly different people all reality it’s not fair to this woman to hold you’re child against her :broken_heart: broken family all ready what else is there to loose shit like this pisses me off as this was done to me and my own children father and his family kept my kids from me if you’re going to the same it’s out of despite and jealousy nothing more nothing less

My niece’s father is not and hasn’t been in her life for years, but she still has a very close relationship with his entire family. It’s been a great circle of support for both her and her mom. That being said, I agree with what someone else said. Be cautious, and get to know her to make sure she’s asking for the right reasons.

2 Likes

give her a chance she might be a good auntie to him.

2 Likes

Get to know her first. But as an aunt myself I love my nephew I never get to see because my brother has problems with his ex. Please consider it, but don’t jump in without getting to know her, she might not be someone you want in your childs life, but for sure give her a chance!

2 Likes

Please please please do it. I am in her position but unfortunately the Mother of my Niece is a horrible person. My Niece is 8 and i have seen her twice but that is it. Last time was 5 years ago. Just because our Brothers are horrible doesn’t mean we are. She is my only Niece/Nephew also as i only have 1 Brother and him and his current Partner don’t want kids. Trust me these last 8 years have been torture and if i didn’t have 3 kids of my own i don’t know where i would be now. Those that keep Family away should always remember they are keeping their child away from their Family. It is the childs Grandparents/Aunt/Uncle etc not the Mothers :cry: Please don’t be one of the horrible ones. Who knows you may become great Friends with her :blush:

The more support you have and your child has. The more successful she will be. Plus having an aunt is like having a best friend! I was always close to my aunt growing up and now my niece is very close to me. These relationships are important for your child and your feelings towards him has nothing to do with whats best for your child. Family is family regardless of what side he/she comes from

2 Likes

I would involve her. She could be an allie should anything bad ever happen down the road. A child deserves as many people to love them.

4 Likes

If my brother had a child I would want to know that child no matter how foolish my brother was acting

5 Likes

Get to know her she could be a good friend/aunty. Good luck!:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

3 Likes

Give her a chance! Meet her, get to know her, and see how you feel about it. It’s your child’s blood aunt and it would be good for your child to know his or her other side of the family even if it isn’t dad. The more support and love for your child would be something he or she deserves.

5 Likes

His actions don’t define her. My first and only time becoming an aunty last year was heart breaking because the mother kept her from everyone else due to her own problems and issues with my brother.
Give her a chance. From the other side, I would love my sons aunt and uncle to be a part of his life, but they’ve followed their brothers footsteps and my son has no idea who they are, not for lack of trying.
It can only go one of two ways but if she’s willing to contact you and wants to be in your childs life as their aunty, let her. It doesn’t mean you have to become close friends or anything, just be kind. She isn’t her brother and she deserves a chance :slight_smile:

6 Likes

Let the baby have something to do with it’s family. If the time comes where she starts sketchy behaviour then remove her.

1 Like

Your in a vulnerable stage right now, I’d wait until after baby is born and things are more settled to even pick up a relationship with this person. Before they ever have a relationship with your child. Sharing DNA never guarantees a right to a relationship.

I’d let her be involved but I wouldn’t let her alone with the baby until you completely trust her. Like when the baby is an infant, after you feel comfortable with people being around the baby (due to sharing viruses) then allow her to meet the baby. She might even babysit her a few years down the road when you really need a break or need someone to help out. Put your feelings aside. I understand that’s hard but do it. Be an adult and try to move past your feelings. She is apart of your babies family, and your feelings shouldn’t be a decision into letting that family see the baby (unless they are horrible people).

1 Like

Yes do it, same thing happened to me but with his mum, I couldn’t stop my daughter from seeing family, that wanted her. She is amazing with her and we have a good relationship.

1 Like

I’m so thankful I was in my niece and nephew life … Just because my brother is a piece of shit don’t mean the kids should miss out.

This is just my opinion… Take what you want and leave the rest… My brother’s baby mama always let me and my parents see the kids. We were their family, we weren’t bad ppl. We didn’t make the choices, my brother did. It’s the only experience I had with divorced parents, except for my parents and my mother would never have kept me from my dad. He was a pos and she protected me from the stupid things he did, but he could come to our house and see my anytime. I stayed with my aunts and uncles and grandparents alot. Anyways When I started having my own kids and shit went sideways with their dad, he was making some super bad choices. His family wasn’t bad though and my kids got super close to them. His parents and siblings. You can get to know the sister/family and go from there. Or not. I want my kids to have everyone in their life who wants to be here, as many ppl to love them as possible. I don’t come from much close family lol so they wouldn’t be gtn that from my side and I’m glad they have them

Meet her several times before she meets your son. The more family he has the better it is.

1 Like

As the paternal aunt, I’m blessed to have a very close relationship with the mothers of my niece and nephew. One brother is deceased. The other has a lot of growing up to do. But their mothers do not keep me from them. They allow me to be very active in their lives and teach them about our side of the family…so I would say, try and build a relationship with the aunt. She could very well be one of your biggest blessing when it comes to your baby

you should definitively give her a chance! never keep them away from her family unless they are harming her physically ot emotionally. my ex sister in law never kept my niece away from us ever! my mom and i have always been in her life and we love her to death and she loves us too! her little sister from her mom’s new partner calls me aunt too even now that she’s 15, bcz to me she is also my niece even though she’s not blood. the fact that she’s my nieces sister is more than enough. now my niece has a beautiful 3 year old baby girl and we are also in her life. my ex sister in law has always had a special bond n relationship w my mom and i, and that makes my brother super mad bcz we don’t have that bond with his wife of 15 years, but because she never accepted my niece and always kept him away from her and he agreed. so the children that he has with his new wife are not close bcz of that, but i know for sure that i am there for them if they ever wanted to have a relationship with me.

LOVE SPELLS THAT WORKS
am very happy today with the world, My husband left me for good 2 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr Agbaka a spell caster, who helped me to brought back my husband after 48hours. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email [email protected] com… Now i will advice any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without stress… He is always hello, now i call him my father. contact him now he is always online email ([email protected] com) or contact him on his whatsapp mobile line +2349052647861.

My husband left me for another girl, I needed him back desperately because i loved him so much. I became very worried and needed help. as i was browsing through the internet, I came across a particular testimony about this good Dr Agbaka help get ex back fast and stop a divorce or breakup and so on , So I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (return Love spell) for me. 48 hours later, my husband came back to me crying and begging for my forgiveness. Today I’m so happy and i want to recommend this great spell caster to anyone that truly needs an urgent solution to his or her broken relationships and marriage email him at: Agbakaspelltemple @ gmail. com Simply contact the great “Dr Agbaka If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you., do not cry anymore-contact this powerful spell caster now. Thank you Dr Agbaka for saving my broken relationships and brought my husband back to me!” email him at: Agbakaspelltemple @ gmail. com,you can also call him or add him on WhatsApp: +2349052647861…!!!