they want to play tug of war with that child. decide what’best for her. you may want to revisit your divorce papers and take it from there.
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Honestly it should be her choice. If you correct her she’s going to feel like she’s doing something wrong and may affect the relationship she has with him. I am actually in the same situation. I never told my son to do it he did on his own.
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Don’t stop her. Let her call him what she wants to call him.
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Girl It’s up to the baby. let her call him what she feels comfortable calling him.
My daughter has been calling my fiancé daddy since she could talk (he’s her step daddy) he’s been here for two years , she was 3 months old when he came around.
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It’s honestly up to the child more than anything. If that’s who they see as their dad then so be it.
My 4 year old calls his dad by name most of the time (he wasn’t involved alot for the first few years) and seen my oldest kids calling their dad ‘dad’. And he was around more so he called his siblings dad by dad or daddy _____.
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She can call him whatever she wants, my daughter is 3 turning 4 soon, I have been with my partner since she was 1 and a half, she knows who her real dad is, and knows her stepdad is also her dad, she also calls each dad by their names at each other’s houses, I’m okay with that. As long as she’s comfortable and happy then keep it as it is, maybe bio dad should realize too who’s always around her more.
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I wouldn’t stop her. If she’s comfortable with him that’s good. Correcting her undermines her feelings
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You’ve been with this man a year and some change i hope you fully accept her calling another woman mom one day regardless of how long she’s been around
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Sounds like her father didn’t have an issue with it until he spoke with your mother-in-law. Perhaps you should look at it like this - would you be comfortable having your ex’s girlfriend being called mommy?
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I honestly would be so hurt if my daughters called my ex husband’s girlfriend Mommy (gf name) and I know my ex would be upset if they called my boyfriend Daddy (bf name). When we got a divorce we both agreed that they wouldn’t call either Mommy or Daddy.
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We’re blended (I have 2, he has 2, 1 together)We left it up to the kids on what they want to call us. My two kids call him papa and their dad, dad.
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We don’t do “step” in my family…we’re just family. My stepdad(just to clarify) has raised me since I was 5. I introduce him and refer to him as far but address him by his name. It’s just what I did as a small kid and my mom left it up to me. My kids call my current husband( their stepdad) by his name but they are 11 and that’s their choice. I agree it will cause confusion if you correct her. Your ex needs to look at it from the child’s point of view and not be selfish. With that being said, I can see where it may bother him but he should be grateful that there is love between her and your fiancé
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No I think it’s disrespectful, she HAS a dad that you mention you share 50/50 with why confuse her? If she was calling your ex’s fiance Mommy I’m sure you’d feel some type of way 
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My daughter chose to call her step dad, daddy, my ex hasn’t rarely had anything to do witg her an my partner has been her main support an my ex hates the fact he isn’t daddy or anything, an seriously its up to the child to what they call someone who makes them feel safe, you can’t rip that away from her but sitting down an having a chat an reminding her tge difference between step dad an daddy
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That baby has a right to her feelings and opinions. And, no matter how ANY of the adults in the situation feel about it. Her calling him DADDY (NAME) is her showing her feelings and opinions on him. If she wasn’t forced or coerced into it, then she loves him like any little girl should love their daddy/father figure. If anything, this baby is blessed to have 2 men to show her love and what to expect in life. Correcting her would only confuse her and make her feel like her feelings aren’t valid. Specially in a time where a new baby is being introduced and she will already be feeling off!
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If she does it on her own then obviously Hes a daddy to her. Blood dont make you a daddy and you can have 2
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As long as your child is happy and he loves her as his own then leave it alone. I’m sure it does bother the father but you could sit down and explain your concerns to him, acknowledging his feelings and why correcting her now may cause issues for her life. I wish you luck, it should be the child’s choice and decision on what to call step parents.
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My kids are 11 and I have been with my husband since they were 6 months old. I always referred to him by his first name but they started calling him daddy on their own. Their dad did have a problem with it and I spoke with him and explained that I didn’t tell them to call him that and that I wouldn’t hurt their feelings. We came to an agreement that they can call him daddy at my house but the 4 days they are at his house they have to refer to him by his first name. Kinda silly honestly, but it made him feel better 
Ok I have been through the opposite situation. My ex got with his now wife when my children were very young. After they got used to her they called her mommy, but because they were afraid i would get upset they would correct them and I could see how it hurt my babies because she took care of them like a mommy would and then thought they would get in trouble if they slipped. That hurt me worse then them calling her mommy. She is an amazing woman and put herself into a position she never had to take on and I love her for how she has handled everything for the past 10 years. Do not discourage your child from saying what comes freely. It will change how they feel as time goes on.
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I guess at that age I would have to ask how her calling him that came about unless someone said oh you can call them Daddy such and such. Which if it was anything to that I’m sorry I feel like you’re in the wrong. I’m divorced my ex is remarried & I remarried a woman. My son has 2 step moms and while he knows their role he doesn’t call either of them Mommy. That’s my title and sorry but I would be hurt if my ex encouraged him to call his new wife that. Besides, there are many other terms that could be used. I think you need to start by asking yourself how you’d feel if your ex remarried and your child started calling another woman mommy. Especially given that you share parenting and there’s no lack of a “daddy” in the child’s life. I personally think you were outta line allowing that at any point and especially when you weren’t even married yet if I read that right. 
just my opinion. Don’t come for me.
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We cannot leave decisions up to a 4 year old as many are espousing. Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
She only has one biological father who is actually in her life. Steer her away from calling another man “dad.”
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It’s a name. I’ve had step moms and step dads and it’s a name. It’s only disrespectful to someone If the allow it to be!!! She’s a child, she’s not doing it to be mean, she saying cuz that person takes care of her like her dad, loves her like her dad, and makes her happy like a dad. Their are so many more important things to worry about than a name. If my child felt that comfortable with her dads soon to be wife I would thank her for being that good to my daughter: why would want anything less?
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I feel she should call him dad he’s fixing to be her step dad and she made the choice to do it herself y’all didn’t force it upon her I would just let her keep calling him dad
I’ve had my step-daughters since they were 3 & 5, they’re adults now. Don’t take this as mean/hateful, how would you feel if your daughter called another woman Mom? I told my girls they could call me anything but Mom, because they have a mom. They asked when they were small and I said no, because that might hurt their mom and it wasn’t worth a altercation or something to cause animosity between she & I. I know this isn’t the common opinion in the room but… We have a total of four kids, mine, his and ours, and I don’t think I’d like my bio- kids calling someone else mom. That being said, I never corrected people, if we were out and someone said “your mom” to my girls we just went with it. A title doesn’t change me being their parent. Maybe you guys could come up with a different “nickname.”
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I’m going the right the same thing with my ex husband and my daughters 2. She calls my fiancé dad and she chose to do that so I’m not going to stop her I really think these dads need to start being thankful that us moms have met men that were mature and awesome enough to want to help raise another mans child like his own!
I honestly do see anything wrong with it to some degree if she really did by her own choice but it just doesn’t seem that wasn’t suggested somewhere somehow but you also have to consider the dad’s feelings on this to maybe talk to him and understand his feelings on it and maybe come up with a compromise cause seriously not trying to sound rude or anything I understand he’s your fiancé and getting married and what not but y’all only been together for over a year that’s a little quick for your daughter to be calling him daddy and maybe that could be the issue bio dad could be having idk it’s your choice your kid but I’ve personally seen so many child have different guys calling dad if it were me I’d definitely put that on hold and come up with a compromise with her dad
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You guys are getting married. He’s her daddy and so is her bio dad. Sit both dads down (if u can) and explain that all of you love her so much and as crazy as this situation is while all of you navigate it together, u dont wanna make it more confusing for her. Shes clearly going bu what she feels and if she feels so loved by step dad that she calls him “daddy” you just have to go with it. No need to confuse her more or scold her for saying something that is not “wrong” or a bad word or offensive.
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I would be livid if my son called anyone else mum. They’re not his mum. I’m his mum. I would give his dad the same respect, too… But some are good for it and well done them but naaahhh, I don’t get it, myself…
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She should call him what she wants. My dad was there most of my childhood but wasnt a father in the sense that he didnt take care of me and was on drugs and is an alcoholic he had visitation rights and I had to see him because the courts said. My stepdad came into my life about 5 or 6 years ago and has seen me get my license get my ged seen me have my heart broken seen me cry seen me have a child. I’m 19 now and I tell people he is my dad. I call him by his name but I tell people he is my dad. She should call the fiance whatever she is comfortable calling him if he is comfortable being called that
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My daughter calls her step daddy Daddy or sometimes Daddy Dodson.
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If she calls her dad daddy then maybe she should call her stepdad something different
Whatever shes comfortable with! Fuck what anyone else thinks
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Yea why not? Ur not making her. He is only hurting his relationship with her.
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No, hes not the childs father
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If she grows up seeing her sister calling him daddy and she’s not aloud to she might feel left out or like he doesn’t love her as much as he loves her sister. She might develop an envy towards her sister and they won’t grow up as close as they could’ve if they had been treated the same as children. I had a step father so I know exactly what I’m talking about. I grew up feeling disconnected from my family especially my siblings because I never understood why I was treated differently. I say as long as she’s comfortable calling him daddy and as long as he’s a good father then nobody has the right to say he doesn’t deserve that title or that she can’t call him daddy. As long as that man treats her like she’s his own then I believe he deserves the title more than the dads that don’t even take care of their own kids. He stepped up to take care of a child that wasn’t even his so he deserves that title! Any man can have children but not all of those men are dads and it sounds like to me that he’s her dad. You parent her however you wanna parent her and nobody else has any kind of say in how you raise her unless they are paying your bills. You should sit down and have a talk with her real father and explain to him that she should be allowed to do whatever makes her most comfortable. A parents job is to help guide children into becoming successful adults, not mold them into someone you would want them to be. Parents should accept what their kids decide even if they don’t like it sometimes as long as they aren’t hurting themselves or anyone else or breaking the law.
If her father is ok with it then yes, if not and he is actively in her life then no its disrespectful.
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Maybe the bio dad can be “daddy”, and the husband can be “dad”.
I have two dads. And that’s what I call them. I know who my father is. Just let it be. In time they will find something else to blame you for.
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let her call him whatever is comfortable for her.
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Let her call him whatever she wants
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My 16 year old son calls my husband dad/daddy and always has. We have been together since 2 weeks before his first birthday. I’ve always allowed it but also made sure he understood that he has his bio dad and step dad and that he knew the difference. It did bother my ex at first but once he realized that our son knew the difference he got over it. My son is lucky to have 2 dad’s that love him. But I think it’s all dependent on the situation also.
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It’s up the child. You will do more damage and cause hurt emotions if you try and correct it and change that.
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This is a hard one and I’m sure someone will bash me but I’m in 2 different situations. My 1 yr old his dad we both said no one gets called mom or dad but us and we respect each other to do it. I couldn’t imagine him calling anyone else mom. For my 4 yr old my x took him from me on false allegations when he was 2. I couldn’t see him for 15 months. In that time he made the girlfriend mom. When I saw my son again he didn’t know who I was. So now I’m momma but he calls her momma to. Like no you stole my kid you not his mother. I finally won my son back but his father already did the damage. It kills me to hear momma b (the gf) my oldest 2 are old enough to where they won’t call anyone else dad. So since your child has already been calling her daddy it’ll hurt her more to change it now. As much as I hate hearing momma b not putting my son thru the confusion.
My SD calls me mom. She called me Vee until she was about 5 (met her when she was 2, started dating her dad right before she turned 3) Her mother hated it so much that she made a huge stink over it and was even smaking my SD in the mouth for it. In our situation, she left my now husband for his best friend, then got exstreamly salty when he started dating me. My SD is now 10 and lives with us full time. She calls me mom, or momma Vee when she’s with her mom and there are no more issues. We told SD that she could call me whatever she wanted to and she chose that. I would sit down with bio dad and explain that it the way you did here. Tell exs mom to put her nose back on her own face, this aint her dog fight.
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Y’all are aware that y’all can have more than one mom and dad right? (Ex: in divorce with step parents, in marriage with in-laws) Whatever the child is comfortable calling you- is what’s best. Especially forming a family together with a new sibling, you don’t want anyone left out. Set the ego and pride aside and just enjoy the co-parenting and growing family.
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Whatever she is comfortable with. If that is what she likes to call him then so be it
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Let her call your fiance whatever she wants to call him. Making her call him something different is going to make her feel like an outsider. She can have two daddies. Tell your ex to get TF over himself. What’s he going to do when he finds someone else make her call her something different? No! Tell him that he’s going to be apart of her life and y’all need to all be a family unit for the sake of your child. Also tell his mom to go stick it where the sun don’t shine. It’s not her place to talk about anything. It’s between you and your ex and your fiance.
Leave it up to the child. Just be prepared for her to call someone else mom when her dad finds someone.
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Just remember, it goes both ways. Are you going to be comfortable having his next wife be referred to as mommy (insert name)?
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They’re stupid
Let her choose
I would correct her considering she has her real daddy in her life. It would bother me if my child called my finances new fiancé mommy. 
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Just as long as she knows who her biological dad is, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things. Some kids are lucky if they have 1 dad about. As you say to do this when another baby is just about to make an appearance could be upsetting for her as this little one will call your partner dad so why can’t she, she’s not old enough to understand it upsets biological dad. But the dad is old enough to protect his daughter from upset. Hope all goes well xxxx
My stepdaughter calls me mom. And she always has. We told her she could call me whatever she feels most comfortable with, we never wanted her to be uncomfortable. Before we got full custody she use to call her moms husband dad as well.
We went through that with my granddaughter. After talking with her biological father everyone agreed that he would be daddy and her step-dad would be dad. Solved the issue for everyone
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If she is comfortable calling him Daddy then it should not be an issue. It sounds like maybe her biological dad is jealous.
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I always let my kids choose what they called their step parent as long as it was respectful. Only issue we had was when the kids would talk to other family members or friends about the stepparent ( calling them mom or dad) and we would just tell them to ask which mom or which dad. It also helped that we taught the kids very young about names.
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No no and NO. Is every fiancé gonna be daddy_____? that’s gross, trashy, and disrespectful to her father whom is clearly in the picture.
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Seems like this is being made to be about everyone but the child. Her dad should be happy she has a stepdad she loves, and your ex MIL is just petty.
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If she comfortable calling him daddy then let her. My son calls my husband dad sometimes. I never once told him to or not to, it was always up to him. Bio Dad is jealous. I wouldn’t worry! She loves your fiancé and he treats her like his own child so of course she’s going to want to call him daddy. He’s there when her other dad isn’t. Nothing wrong with that.My son knows who his real dad is and he loves his stepdad just as much. My husband has always been there for my son and would do anything for him. Loves him like his own. I would ignore your ex’s mother too cuz it’s not her place. They should be happy that more people love your daughter. That’s how I look at it. All kids want is to be loved. 
different story if the child was forced then that’s a big no no. It should always be up to the child and never forced!
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The adult, her bio Daddy needs to grow up. She should call him what she wants, Daddy (first name) is acceptable. Do not alienate her with her sibling being allowed to call you fiancee Daddy but she can’t, she will not understand and why risk it. Like I said Bio Daddy needs to grow up, he should have spoke up from the get- go not now months later!!!
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Definitely kid’s choice. My daughter goes back and forth calling my now ex fiance either daddy or by his name. She refers to her biological father by his name only. Granted bio father hasn’t been in her life for over 7 years, but she doesn’t have any confusion or sense of disappointment from the man she calls daddy even though he and I aren’t together.
I don’t think children should be given a choice in this situation. Her father is involved. And honestly, even if not, children wouldn’t completely understand how this may affect their parents. I would be incredibly mad and hurt if my child had ever done that.
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Your not a bad mom I think it should be up to the kid. If I read that correct bio dad has been ok with for the past year correct?. If so then it seems like maybe grandma is upset and dad said he upset because it’s his mom. since he mentioned it and then grandma texted you also.
Im gonna be the one who says no… especially not after only a cpl yrs… and the fact her daddy is there… my sons step daughter doesnt call him daddy- and they have bn together since she was 1 yrs old, and have a baby with the mom. She has a daddy. 
also might be bc i raised him the same way
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So what it sounds like is that CHILDREN have to do things a certain way so that they don’t hurt ADULTS feelings…
Bio dad is in her life and is doing his part and also sees that mom has a soon to be husband in his childs life that loves HIS child. Loves his child enough, that the the child feels comfortable calling him daddy. Bio dad needs to grow up and look at things a different way. My daughter calls bother her Bio dad and step dad, daddy…and if her Bio dad ever say or said anything about it I would rip his butt apart! That’s her choice!
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My daughter’s biological father also had a problem with my daughter calling her step dad ‘dad’ fast forward ten years and her biological father now refers to his daughters step dad as daddy lee! 
As long as she knows who her REAL father is… it shouldn’t matter.
Kids choice. The dad needs to grow the fuck up. The dad’s mom I’d tell her when to shove her opinion.
I think your right to let your daughter choose and I agree if you correct her now once her sister comes she may resent her and feel pushed out as she is adding his name on the end of daddy I cant see the problem
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My daughter is 12… We had a long talk with her and told her she can call my future hubby whatever she’s comfortable with. As long as she’s saying Daddy (first name) I dont see a problem with it. She’s finding her way in this relationship too.
Suggestion only. As a “step-child” , I was gracious enough to have my dad (biological) and my pop (“step”).
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I wouldn’t let my child call my husband daddy if he were her step dad. Especially if her dad is active in her life and is bothered by it
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Im sorry the biggest issue i have with this is " he is ONLY a step dad, he doesnt deserve to be called dad"
Anyone (male or female) who steps up to a child who isn’t theirs and chooses to be a mom or dad to that child is VERY MUCH a mom or dad. There a some step parents, Foster parents, adoptive parents etc that are better than the biological parents. Let your girl call him whatever she wants. He has stepped up to fill that role when the dad isn’t around he is just as deserving as he is.
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It is 100% up to the child. If they feel comfortable and loved enough by their step-parent to call them mommy or daddy they should be allowed to do so. No one should have the right to tell the child that they can’t. They are expressing their love and trust by calling that person mommy or daddy. The more people the child feels loved and supported by the better off that child will be and we as parents have to be confident in our place and relationship with that child to except that. I am a momma who has two girls that have a step mom, it is difficult to hear them call their step mom, mom but I say nothing about it. They feel loved by her and feel that she deserves to be called that so I am in no place to crush them for doing so. In my opinion no parent is in a place to crush their child like that. Yes the child(ren) have one bio mom and bio dad. But there can be other people come into their lives to also fill the roll of mom and dad. That’s part of the deal when parents/families split. The children hopefully get bonus family members and extra love!!!
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I don’t think you should tell her to stop.
Yeah that’s over stepping the boundaries to me. If yall split up and he shares custody then no she has a daddy. If he was non existent then yeah
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How would u feel if your daughter called another women mommy? I know I wouldn’t like it
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My daughter called her step mom “momma Jo”. It hurt at first but then I saw the love my daughter and her momma Jo had for each other and it didn’t bother me anymore. The more people love my girl the better off she is!
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So I’m understanding, she doesn’t just say daddy she says his name along with it? If that is the case then there should be no problem. She is not calling him daddy alone and I would presume she did not replace calling her biological father daddy/dad, so it is her level of comfort. As she gets older it may change but that is for her to decide at this point. As for the mom of ex, she needs to shut her mouth it doesn’t concern her and given what she said and the time passed I can imagine she had some hand in bio dad all of a sudden having an issue.
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She’s been calling him Daddy for a year, so it’d be cruel to force her to change it now. Aslong as the biological dad is in her life, she will always know who he is to her and as she gets older she will understand it all. But for now, it’s just a name.
Let her call him what she’s comfortable with, she is only 4, it may change as she grows up
Leave it up to the kid.
That’s a shame that bio dad is kind of missing the bigger picture. I could understand if this was just a boyfriend for a short time but you all are having a baby and getting married. It’s just another person to show your daughter love and that should be the main focus.
Names and titles are just that, how your daughter and your fiancé’s relationship blossoms is the priority. Ex MIL can take her comments elsewhere. I would just try to have a really healthy and mature relationship with your ex let him know how much she adores her real dad but that your fiancé is also a father figure / supportive figure in her life day to day. As long as he’s showing her unconditional love he should be happy that she has that loving and supportive person in her life every day and not just the days he sees her. Good luck mama.
Someone would of had to teach her the roles and titles it seems since it is typical to have only one father and one mother to a child so young it seems having both roles already assigned the use of his name would be most likely the preferred choice. So be honest with yourself and everyone and stop participating in alienating tactics like this. Just think one day the table could turn and you will see how hurtful this can become really quick. Leave the kid out of the adult stuff . Let her be loved by both her parents without any confusion or a pawn
I think the child decides. Yes, it would be uncomfortable to hear my children call their stepmother mom. But it’s not about me. As an adult, I put my children’s needs before my own. Loving her enough to call her mom means she has earned the love. When your children are in the home of your ex, you want them to be loved as YOU would love them. Don’t think that because they call a stepparent mom or dad that you aren’t still #1.
Changing now will have the effect you stated. Just let it be. It’s a good thing. I could never call step father dad because it upset my real dad. And it did make me feel like I was not his daughter. To this day my step dad doesn’t introduce me as his daughter either and I’m almost 50. I missed out.
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Explain the difference to her and let her do her still
Okay so a little background on my end of this I have 2 from a previous marriage and my husband has 2 from a previous and we have one together. His kids call me my name. We have always left it up to them what they wanted to call us. We been together 3 years married 2. I share 50/50 with my kids dad. My kids always called their step dad his name until recently. My 8.5 year old (he met stepdad at age 5 going on 6) he just started out of the blue calling him dad. We are okay with this because his step dad does so much with him between school sports etc. where as dad doesn’t he’s to “busy” to do anything and grandma takes care of them. I never pressured them. Just make sure you let it know it’s okay to have 2 dads or 2 moms that just means there’s extra love
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Its all up to the child my step dad is my dad my bio dad tho was always referred to as daddy mark or daddy depending on who’s house I was out cuz I also have younger siblings lol
This is a hard one tbh, it’s hard to tell a 4 year old child to stop calling their step father daddy ‘name’ especially when your new baby is going to be calling him daddy.
On the other hand though I know how the father is feeling because i would be the same if my little ones called anyone else mum. It would hurt. I would try and explain to her that she has her daddy and her 'step daddy ‘name’.
If shoe was on other foot I’m sure it would really hurt you. As it would me. I’m not sure about this though as she had her dad in her life before and no other children of his about it seems like learnt behaviour calling him daddy ‘name’ x
You and your partner are doing it the right way, if she wants to call him daddy let her! His your ex and still gets addressed as daddy and probably onle has an issue with it because you’re having another child to someone other then him, probably just jealous.
His mother shouldnt be getting involved as it isn’t her business what so ever. Don’t doubt yourself, you as a mother and parent have done the right thing by your daughter.
Some of you people are just sensitive, she let HER DAUGHTER CHOOSE!
She is just one lucky little girl to have a step dad like she does. She is even more special because she has 2 dads that think the world of her. You are never going to stop her from calling him dad. Tell others that think they have the rights to tell u different to pass off. I have been in your situation before
If the biological father is actively in the child’s life and expressing his feelings on this, then respect him and correct her. I would daddy for only the bio dad. And maybe just dad for step dad. Its great that she has 2 father’s in her life. But at the same time, it’s very inconsiderate to overstep the bio dad.
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I’ve been is this situation only my oldest bio dad got married and they pushed calling his new wife mommy (daughter was only 1) even tho it bothered me they wouldn’t change it. As she got older she understood. You just have to be honest and let her know she’s 4 she doesn’t grasp that concept yet.
There shouldnt be any problem with her calling him daddy… if she is comfortable calling him daddy let her … smh… nothing wrong with having two dads… if one is more active in her life like your fiance is thats why she is calling him daddy… bio dad shouldnt get butt hurt over her calling him daddy and fiance daddy … may be she sees something that no one does… my 14 yo has been calling my fiance dad since has been 7 or 8 yo …
My daughter called my now husband by his name, since my daughter was 5 and now she is 15. She haven’t call him (daddy or dad).
Its all depend on the child and the child’s relationship with biological’s spouse.
If he is cool with it and she is doing it on her and not being made to then there should be no issue