My daughter wants to get acrylics for her 14th birthday and my husband is having a fit about jt. He said they’re “too grown” for her and she absolutely isn’t getting them. She’s a good kid and it’s the only thing she asked for… should I take her anyways? Idk what to do and feel so bad for her
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At 14 she is a teenager and and I feel it is both parents disitiion in the fact of how she should and should not be able to do … but as well the daughter should be able to voice her opinion and they should listen to her !!
I would not. Because that would teach her to respect her father. She is young… she can get gel with designs or gold sheets added on to her nails… there’s other way to be creative.
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I wouldn’t go behind his back
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Personally I wouldn’t get her acrylics cause it’s really damaging for the nail.
I’d look into poly gel nails. Basically the same as acrylic but better for your nails especially if she likes them and wants them all the time.
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I wouldn’t do it without talking to him first. Maybe have him set limitations on length and color so he feels like your not going against him. But still letting her do what’s important to her. He just sounds protective over his daughter. Explain that she is young but will also be an adult woman in 4 years
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Sounds like he needs to be schooled on bodily autonomy. He does not own his daughters body and he should examine exactly why it is he has a problem with it. His reaction is NOT normal.
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You can make the decision to take her even if dad doesn’t agree. You should tell him beforehand though so it’s not a surprise when he sees her with them.
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To each their own but my daughter wanted to get some for her 10th birthday. No issues from her dad.
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Personally i wouldnt, best to show a united front when parenting and in my opinion 14 is too young, does her school even allow them Take her for a manicure and painted nails which in my opinion is much more appropriate
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She is a child. I wouldn’t. We are allowing our children to grow up too fast, become sexualized via clothing, make-up and nails.
Most important… Do NOT teach your daughter that it is acceptable to go behind the back of a partner.
You will be setting her up for failure in her personal relationships.
Get her a regular manicure at a salon.
Buy her a manicure kit for home use and some great polish colors. Do a girls spa day at home once a week. At her age that is more than enough.
Acrylics need to be kept up. In addition to the initial full set which cost at least $50 - $80 plus a tip depending on where you are.
And then they need regular maintenance every 2 weeks. Fills cost are $25 to $35 plus a tip. Is your budget ready for an additional $60 to $84 monthly expense ($25 - $70 plus a $10 - $14 tip.)
Also acrylics ruin the nail beds and it takes months to return to normal.
If you go against her father’s opinion, you are doing your daughter a GREAT disservice.
You would be teaching her that it is ok to not listen to what dad says. You need to find a common ground that both of you can agree on and she needs to know that dad is ok with what you’re doing. You wouldn’t like it if it were the other way around
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I completely agree with not going behind dad’s back. However, I would talk to him and ask him to take a good look at his impressions of why long fingernails is a problem if he thinks it makes her look “older”. Manicured fingers, makeup hairstyles and clothing should be up to the person wearing them. Sexualizing and worrying about a child appearing “older” because of those things is very concerning.
Sexual assault and behavior happen regardless of appearance.
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Dad needs to step off. She is 14. They are HER hands. And it’s just nails……… tattoo, piercing- an actual body modification and I’d give him a say.
At 14, he can get over himself, I’m taking my daughter to get her nails done.
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No. You still need to respect your partners opinions. You can tell her no she’ll get over it. It’s good for kids to not always get what they want.
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As a father I understand where he is coming from but I say pick and choose your battles if it were up to me I would let her get them for her birthday but as far as any other time it depends on how the child’s behavior is to me a 14 year old that is well behaved and and does not cause any problems should get special treatment compared to ones that do not act properly
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I’d find a compromise. I probably wouldn’t let my kid do acrylics but I’d most definitely let them do something that’s easier on their nails.
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See if your husband will compromise for dip over her natural nails. Then over time, if she continues to get the dip, her nails will grow long and look just as good if not better than acrylics. This will give your husband time to adjust and eventually, your daughter will get the nail look she really wants.
You can tell your husband that it’s just like getting her nails painted except this will last longer.
What about taking her just to get a regular manicure, without acrylics. I’d never go against the dad’s opinion.
Find a middle ground, maybe just take her for a mani pedi day instead. For starters; you should be considering his opinion as her other parent. You wouldn’t be very happy if he went behind your back, would you?
Personally, I wouldn’t allow my children to get acrylics, it’s terrible for anyone’s nails. And honestly, I wouldn’t want my child to deal with that at school, as an adult the few times I’ve had my nails done; they get in the way and I fight to get them off within the same week. I can’t imagine it would be different for a younger child that’s never had them.
Awe. She deserves it! Maybe take him with you two so he can see that it is not all that bad. They have options for children.
Talk about getting her nails dipped it’s not using extra fake nails it’s her real nails. I’m in the medical field and it’s the best if u don’t want acrylic but want ur nails done still
Have her grow her nails a little and get dip nails
Do stick ons. I promise it will will be best for everyone involved! Take her to the nail salon and let them do it if it would be cooler for her
Don’t do it behind your husband’s back. Talk to him and tell him he has to compromise. Let your daughter know it’ll be short ones bc there’s no need for long nails anyways.
The dip is way more comfortable than the acrylic
I wouldn’t do it without Dad’s blessing it could cause a marital rift…
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Lol its nails not a tattoo.
I would not go behind his back. That’s undermining his authority. Just get a mani/pedi with her b
Don’t go against dad. It will cause more problems.
At 14 no I agree with dad, it makes them look older then what they are. I would go get a manicure so she can have the experience and it be a win win for her and dad just no acrylics
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Really not good for her nails though
Maybe have a girls day together, have nails painted, And a foot massage, once you put those fake nails on your fingers, you just have to keep going back, all that sanding is very harsh to nails, especially young nails,
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Kinda think Daddy isn’t ready to ACCEPT HIS baby girl is starting to grow up. If he wants to maintain a good relationship with her. He needs to accept that…With or without parental permission…She can easily have it done on her own…N He wouldn’t want that. The father needs to get on board …Im pretty sure Mom will make sure…its done properly for a girl her age. Come on what’s next…Having a issue with make up or High heels or her ears pierced?? So thankful my late dad was not like that at all…The only thing was everyone loved my dad n would even call him dad …so I had to share him with the world…but it was ok…Cause he often helped n guided them in the right direction…Our door was always open when anyone needed him or my mom…I was very blessed to have parents like mine…RIP.
Don’t do it behind his back… but I would make sure they arnt some ridiculous length like some of these people get…
HER body is hers. She should be able to get her nails done if she wants as long as it doesn’t present a safety hazard. Start with a shorter length so she’s less likely to accidentally rip them off and damage her nail beds. I would tell dad that I’m taking her to get them done and make it clear that calling it “too grown” is misogynistic sexualization.
Take her! I always have and always will put my kids first. Hubby deals . 
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Why would you cause a marital spat over something so petty? smh
Don’t go behind his back. You wouldn’t want him doing that to you.
Has she considered nail dip?
I completely agree with your husband
Don’t go against him
I’ve never ever asked my daughter dad before I let her get her nails done. And you know what, he was fine with it. Why? Because it’s not a big deal. Would get dad prefer she was smoking, drinking or doing drugs? Because that’s a real possibility for her to do at that age. I did however talk to her dad before letting her get her nose pierced. And you know what. He agreed, because he understands there’s worse things she could do. Good luck.
My daughter is gonna be 17 and still won’t let her get them done
They will destroy her natural nails , and why not enjoy her being a kid instead of rushing her to be an adult
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I wouldn’t go behind dads back, that’s just you being disrespectful, on the other hand my daughter is 11 and the only acrylics she’s allowed to have are the ones I do for her. They have a kit at Walmart and it has everything you need I haven’t really noticed any damage to her nails and she only keeps them on for a short time. They’re just nails at 14 I don’t see why not
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I see nothing wrong with a 14 year old getting nails?
Talk to him about why he feels that way and try to find a common ground with your daughter and him. Maybe he would let her get short acrylics, they would look like her real nails. If she can grow her nails out a little she can get them dipped. Show dad a couple pictures of those options and see if he’s still against it and if your daughter will compromise
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I would come up with a good middle ground like maybe the stick on one’s or just cheap ones from the store
Get her nails done. Choose your teenage battles don’t let this be one of them.
Sit down and talk to him my daughter is nearly 14 been getting her nails done since 13, I was very overwhelmed at first but I had to take a step back and realize she is growing up wether I like it or not and with the society we live in unfortunately they grow up a lot faster then we want. Just sit down with him and explain that she is growing up she is discovering her own identity.
I would take her. I’d tell dad I’m taking her tho. My kids dad doesn’t agree with some of the stuff I do, but he knows i also know what im doing & trust my decision on things even if he doesn’t fully agree.
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I wouldn’t go behind my husband’s back. But I would have a conversation with him when the kids go to bed. I would explain my side to him and explain that we are at a crossroads. That we need to support our child on the little things and compromise when we can. Because one day (probably soon) it will be a much larger crossroads and our child needs to know their voice, their opinion and their expressions are heard and important. My child asked for press on nails in the 4th grade and I said absolutely not. Although my mom was getting my nails done in the 4th grade 
I refused to allow my child to have them. 2 days later my child came home from school with 3 press on nails. Not 3 sets 3 NAILS. My child traded $50+ worth of brand new fidget toys for 3 plastic press on finger nails 
That was the day I realized I better get on board or I was gonna be left behind. Sometimes we have to bend a little so we don’t break our relationship with our children.
At this point I would just be pleading my case and trying to convince my husband as opposed to going behind his back. And if all else fails I would look him straight in the eye and tell him I’m doing it I’d rather fight the battle head on than to be sneaky. Usually at that point my husband concedes and puts his stipulations on the deal 
I wouldn’t do it in secret but I WOULD tell the dad to get over himself and that we’re going to do it. Nails aren’t too grown, they’re NAILS. You’re literally born with nails, the child just wants to decorate what she already has. If he sees that as inappropriate then that’s a him problem. He needs to learn that it’s not his body, he doesn’t get an opinion here. It’s not like getting your nails done is a permanent modification, jfc. I bet he’d throw a fit if she asked to dye her hair as well.
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Just do a manicure instead?
Ask dad if dip is ok? Dip on natural nail
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Gel manicure? Happy middle ground. I know a manicure would just chip off for me. I was 16 when I started getting my nails done. Or is dad reasonable? Can go with a length that is good for both? Plus they grow out in like a few weeks anyway. It’s not permanent. Does he know that? Because my husband didn’t 
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Dad is a parent too.
Whether you agree with him or not, straight going behind his back sets a pretty bad precedent.
You’re teaching your daughter she doesn’t have to listen to him.
Right now it’s just nails, but that’s not always going to be the case.
When thinking about this…how would you feel if you said no to something and he went behind your back anyways?
What I would do…
*Talk to him when your daughter is not in earshot. Talk about his concerns beyond ‘she’s too young’ and hear him out.
He may actually have some valid reasoning that can simply be encompassed by that.
*Explain your reasons why you think it’s ok in a logical way.
*Talk together to find a compromise. Maybe agreeing to keep it to a certain length and nail shape would help (so they’re not completely gawdy) or something along those lines.
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Personally I would try to find a middle ground. (Short nails, mani, etc) Going against her dad will teach her “well if mom says yes idc what dad has to say.” And Will definitely have your husband feeling you don’t respect him as well and put you two in a tough spot.
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Take her! I was 13 when I first got acrylics!
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Get fake tips and a gel manicure. It’s a decent compromise. Or just get gels on her natural nails. Fake tips don’t require drilling or damage to the nail bed so are far healthier. I got them after someone damaged my nails during a manicure.
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Going behind his back sets your family unit up for a LONG road throughout her teenage years. It’s way harder for me to realize their little girls are growing up but that’s why they have us mom’s to help guide dad’s to understand. Guiding/teaching dad absolutely does not entail going behind his back for any reason, especially if she is aware of his opinion and you do it for her anyway. I would suggest showing dad alternatives (dip, sns, whatever - I don’t get mine done so wouldn’t know where you start but you see the point) or compromising with her to go to a salon for a manicure, Pedi, massage, whatever if he won’t budge on acrylics specifically
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Absolutely not, by going behind her fathers back you are teaching her to lie and not respect her fathers authority. Not to mention the disrespect to your marriage by intentionally not following his request. Talk to him about gel or sns. Promise to keep them short, if not WAIT until she’s older. But most definitely respect your husband.
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Dip is awesome n yes i think she should get them for her birthday . He needs to realize she is growing up
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I wouldn’t behind his back but see if all 3 can come to a compromise. Instead of acrylics, how about sns or a gel manicure?
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To make this even a question. Lol. Either or if u don’t do it it’s probably smart because no kid at 14 needs the nails like that. Get them painted and done maybe I dunno. But if u go against her father your undermining his rights as a parent you both have to agree on shit and stick to it not just go behind each others backs that’s negative af
Sounds like he’s not ready for her to grow up. I’d take her.
So ask yourself this question, how would you feel if your husband let her do something you are not ok with behind your back ???
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