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QUESTION:
"I have a 9 year old daughter who has a mental disability and she is more like 4 to 5 years old. My daughter is very close to my mom and dad and my mother got very sick very fast spent 2 weeks in hospital and is now in a nursing/rehab place and my daughter is having a hard time with her mamaw not being able to get up when we go visit she isn’t able to get up and walk or even hardly able to sit up by her self. And I’m in between not wanting to take my daughter back to see her mamaw and taking her back. I’m scared my daughter might get upset at me if my mother passed away and she didn’t get to see her but she gets so upset when we do go visit. So question what would yall do if this was your child and your mom? Thanks"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Have you tried speaking with her & ask her what she would like to do?"
"I’d talk with your daughter to see what she wants to do."
"Take her and answer questions honestly. Never hide the realities of life only support her"
"Explain it all to her in a way she can understand and say do you still want to visit her"
"I took my kids to see my dad, who they loved, in the hospital because I knew it was the last time they’d see him. They are both delayed. Ultimately, my youngest would not go into the room to see his grandpa. He was too scared. That was ok. I tried and gave him the opportunity and he made the choice that was right for him. Maybe take another adult with you if you’re not sure it will go well who can help you or your daughter."
"Only you can answer that. But my mom was 9 and wasn’t allowed to see her Gramma who she loved dearly and she still has issues over it at 63 yrs old. You know your child and do what you think is best. Sry to hear about your mom."
"Please let them see each other, if possible. Your daughter needs to see her grandmother and to have these precious memorie; not all memories need to be perfect or happy; loss and death are part of life; don’t take away from them the possibility of a last few moments of shared love. Don’t rush to do what death will do, to set them apart."
"I’d take her so she could see her one last time. You’d regret it in the long run if you don’t."
"Yes. My brother’s and I were at my daddy’s bed when he passed. I was 11, my brothers were 3 and 5. It gives closure."
"I would take her. She might not understand but in good faith to say you tried to create that last memory I would do so."
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