Should I let my kids have sleepovers with the same gender?

When my kids were younger I let them have sleepovers with the same gender, they are teens now and don’t understand why I no longer allow this…should I? Or what should I tell them?

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What is the actual issue? Some grown ups do sleepovers same genders as well including seniors in my neighborhood which includes dinner snacks popcorn and movies. I don’t understand why the hesitation. Friends and bonding are important at any age. There are so many who have none or no clue how to keep and maintain friendships.

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I have 10-11 year old boys. I encourage them to have friends sleepover at our house a lot because I won’t let them sleepover at other peoples houses- it’s an unpopular opinion but I’m not taking the chance… way too many creeps in this world that like little boys.

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I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on fb lately about this. A lot of parents won’t let their kids go for sleepovers bc you never know who’s parent is a pedophile that will try things with your son/daughter during sleepovers. A lot of moms have said it’s happened to them when they were younger and they will not let their children sleep over at someone else’s house unless they know the parents really well.

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Why wouldn’t you? I also don’t understand why you would no longer allow this :woman_shrugging:t2:
I am a 30yr old woman and still have sleepovers and girls nights with my friends :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I mean what’s your issue with it? If you set a rule you should explain it. I think that’s fair.

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My son always has friends over and they all crash in his room they’re 15 but they all grew up together since 1st grade! But even if he asked for NEW friends to sleepover I wouldn’t see the big deal…

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I am so confused about this post my children all four of them have always had sleepovers from about the age 8 until now going on 14 it’s a fun time for children to hang out outside of school play board games and just be kids sleepovers have always been my favorite I love having my children’s friends over

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I dont understand with same gender??? What is the issue? I’m confused.
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I had a California king size bed in the basement to myself. My dad was just like “cool.” Everyone always slept at my house. At one point I think there were 8 of us in that bed. Girls and boys. I was 15 at the time. It was awesome. So many fun memories. We did stupid sh*t. But we laughed… a LOT. I’ll always hold those memories. I don’t necessarily see the issue…? :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Yeah um well my boys are 9 and 12. They have friends they grew up with and they are 13 and 15 and often still crash all in one bed together? I invited 9 boys over for a camp out in my front yard in a tent too? Idk I’m 35 and I miss my sleepovers with my friends pre Covid even? Idk I guess I need more contex

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I let my son have all his friends sleep at our house boy and girl

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Gender really doesn’t come into it. I had sleepovers with my friends right through my teens and into my twenties with both genders. What are you really worried about?

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When you have a healthy relationship with your teen it shouldn’t matter. We’ve been doing co-ed for awhile since age 7 no problem they sleep in the living room adults check on them thru the night

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Your sleepover rule abruptly changed, they deserve an explanation

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Um yeah I’ve literally had sleepovers with my best friend since we were 5 . We’re 33 now. :joy:

Would you rather a teenager have a sleepover with the opposite sex?? If you are concerned “which I don’t get why you would be unless you have reasons to suspect something “ then there shouldn’t be an issue.

When I was in grade school my one friend who was a boy slept over every weekend (who I’ve know my whole life, out moms were pregnant together & we were born a month apart). Then when I got into highschool my parents let ALL of my friends sleep over whenever we wanted, so most weekends we would have a house absolutely full of teenagers both boy & girl, there were never any issues with my parents or the parents of my friends who let them stay🤷🏽‍♀️ kids are going to find a way to do what they want whether you allow it or not lmao, so in my opinion it’s better to have it happen at my house where I know my child is at least safe!

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As a teen i had huge sleep overs with both genders. My parents trusted us & it created respect between us & them. My friends would all call my parents mom & dad cuz the trust & respect my parents gave them

My kids all had sleepovers and they are all grown now! Sometimes I’m sure they still have friends crash at their own houses!

What? That makes no sense, you use to, but mow they are teens you would rather not? Would you be happier if it were the opposite sex?? Maybe you need to communicate with your teenager properly so they tell you things and you can trust them and know where and who they are hanging out with. If your child is gay avoiding same gender sleepovers won’t change that :woman_facepalming:

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let them once they’re teens. My daughter is bi, so as she gets older I’ll keep a close eye on her as sleepovers with romantic partners is not acceptable in high school. But friend sleepovers, of course!

I mean, I’m an adult and I don’t understand why you no longer allow it…

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Are your kids expressing a sexual interest in the same gender? We didn’t and do not allow sleepovers with someone who you are romantically interested in, regardless or gender. I don’t care if one of you can get the other pregnant or not lol.

I understand why some people don’t like them. It opens up your child at their house and it opens up your family if they are at your house.

I would just openly explain what about it you don’t like. Ultimately your house your rules. They don’t pay bills. If they don’t like it they can grow up, move out and have all the sleepovers they want lol.

They are hooking up same gender or not it is the experimental age and sleepovers get weird I understand mama you just have to be really open and honest with why you would Be like that there is nothing wrong with monitoring your kids

So ur daughter cant have another girl sleepover? I dont understand what’s the prob??? I assume u dont allow the opposite gender sleepover so again I assume u just dont allow sleepover which again I dont understand why u are depriving ur children of such a childhood right of passage??? This is a new one!

My house is full of boys all day and night. I would think it was weird if it wasn’t.

I had more sleep overs as a teen then I ever did as a kid. That being said I would ask questions, set boundaries and get to know other parents first. Things to concern yourself with when a teenager sleeps over…

  1. Do you and the other parent share similar views on what is acceptable for your teen? A.k.a (would they be the cool parent and buy your teen alcohol, let them smoke, not watch them around the opposite sex the same way you would)
  2. Do you trust them? Not to cause your teen harm physically or sexually.
  3. Confirm the sleepover with the other parent, even if it’s just a small text about hey, I’m just making sure this is okay, and what time would you like me to pick them up? If they are driving age it can be common for kids to tell one parent they are staying at the others, and thier friend do the same so they can do what they wish.

Talk to your teen about what to do if they ever get uncomfortable and you would go pick th3m up from any situation even if you would be disappointed in their choices, you rather then be safe then in a bad environment or trying to get home by themselves.

Why can’t they have sleepovers? Sounds like u have some control issues :woman_facepalming:t3: my kids attend sleepovers and also host them :woman_shrugging:t3:

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I’d rather have my child and their friends sleep at our home any day.

I think she means sleeping next to each other in the bed. Like girl next to girl. Boy next to boy. That’s the only thing that makes sense with the same sex thing. I could be wrong though. :woman_shrugging:

I don’t see anything wrong with it. I had sleepovers with friends all my life lol do you suspect they might be bi or gay? Cause even if they are, they’ll still have people who are strictly friends and you won’t have to worry. Sleepovers are part of growing up.

I stayed at my friends houses all the way thru high school I don’t understand why that would be weird regardless of gender?

If they stay at ur house alnite,u know they r safe

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I don’t understand? What’s your problem. I miss sleep overs

I think the poster is assuming sleep overs with the opposite gender as teenagers is an obvious no no, (in case they become sexually active) (obviously not everyone’s opinion of course) but she has gone one step further and banned sleepovers completely - hence the ‘same gender’ comment. What I can’t understand is banning sleepovers with the opposite gender when they were younger. I can understand being uncertain about sleepovers with the opposite gender when they are teenagers. But, what if your child is bisexual? My rule for my daughter is that everyone is your friend, there are no boyfriends or girlfriends at this age. I have tried to explain to her about feelings, sexual attraction and what loves is/means. Keeping the lines of communication open is paramount and of course can be quite difficult at times depending on the child/relationship. There are parents, especially police who are parents who have never let their child sleepover at another’s place due to what they have seen. I have read this online on forums numerous times discussing this issue. Have a little google about what parents think about sleepovers and it’s an eye opener. Personally I think sleepovers are important as the child grows as they get to see how other people live and learn how to be socialised. Teenagers want to be close, in groups. It’s a survival instinct from our ‘caveman’ days when a group affords more safety. Of course there will be kids who don’t want to sleep over at all and don’t feel the need to belong to a group but generally teenagers like to group together. It’s natural.

Do you even have a reason not to allow it? The “what should I tell them?” Got me hella confused.

Doors open rules for multi reason and dint be to strict. It won’t help.

All I can say is seriously?

Well- why don’t you allow it?

They probably don’t understand what changed. If they were previously allowed and now they can’t, what happened that changed it? There is a lot missing in this post. You’re probably not going to get the answer you’re looking for.

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I mean if your child’s gay is the only reason I see rule semi changing… but even then you would just say he she sleeps on couch…where u will know if they get up in middle of night??? I mean you can’t live life for them…

Something missing from the story Are they Bi or gay? Is that the issue with the sleepovers?

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Why don’t you now? I’m 30 and don’t understand……

Why is this even a question? Why would you not allow your child to have friends over for the night? I’m admittedly bewildered. What are you afraid of for Pete’s sake?

I’m confused… you would think the same gender would be a green light…

Uhmmm so your kids can’t have sleepovers with their friends?…. What the fawkkk???
Like what is the reason for this…?

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So you want them to only have sleepovers with the opposite gender? I’m so confused lol.

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that’s one way to make your kid hate and resent you, why not sleepover? let them enjoy youth

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Why wouldn’t you let them have sleepovers with the same gender?

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I personally don’t allow it for safety purposes (no sleepovers no room for rumors) this protects my husband from anyone trying to accuse him of anything and keeps other families safe from any rumors as well also keeps my kids safe from the risk of anything happening

Ughhhh why can’t they……? I would think it’s the opposite gender you should worry about lol. You’re weird :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Why wouldn’t you? Do you suspect they are sexually active with the same gender? Also what’s the friendship? Have they had sleepovers before or grew up together?

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Tell me your homophobic with out saying it

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Why wouldn’t you? This is weird to me.

How would someone else answer questions as to why you do or don’t do something??? That’s a great question for yourself……

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This makes no sense to me

You don’t have to worry about pregnancy at least :laughing: What a bizarre question.

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Why did you stop allowing them to begin with?