Wait until school in on summer vacation. Then do a trial run. A month or a few…see if that’s really what they want. I got a feeling they think the grass is greener on that side.
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I’ve personally gone through this and my answer is to let them go. Sometimes they have to see that life isn’t all they think it should be. Now mine have switched up and wanna come back home. Just because you allow them to go doesn’t mean you’ll be any less their momma. I know it’s hard. It broke my heart but I kept constant contact daily and showed up for every single function they had. Be strong momma. I bet they’ll come back in no time.
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No I wouldn’t go for that.
Kids at that age want to believe they know what’s best for themselves but they are still at an age they just do not.
Maybe they are craving more dad time? Perhaps he could come around more to different events and functions and that could help.
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I like letting them go for the summer idea, just to test it outn
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Do it for the summer and he do transporting back to you for your time. If things go okay I say try it out for a semester and see how things go. If it’s bad. They can always go back in the middle of the year.
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Wait til school is out. Let them spend the summer there. And then go from there. Set a plan where they are with you on weekends or whatever during the summer. Start slow and see how they like it rather than just transferring with only 2 months left of school.
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I’d start by switching schedules during the summer. Let him have them all summer but you get every other weekend or whatever your current schedule is. Ask your ex husband to enroll them in summer school at his residency & let them have a trial run. This too would break my heart but I definitely think they are at the age they really need to be with their dad.
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Why can’t all parents be like you? The fact you are giving it thought is enough to show you care about your children not just telling them no because you don’t want them their. I have a 14 yr old and she wants to live with me instead of her dad now and he refuses to allow her so unfortunately I have to go the hard and expensive way and take it to court so that’s money wasted that could be spent on her instead it goes to a lawyer! Give them the chance and all that can happen is they will wanna come back to you. Atleast you can say you gave them the chance and you won’t regret your decision that way.
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I did this with my son and it didn’t take 1 school year to come back. He thought it would be all fun cuz dads was fun wkends while moms was homework, baths, drs apts, bed times etc (not an every other weekend holiday). Once he realized he had to do those things at dad’s (because now its full.time there not just weekends) he didn’t think it was that great. I told him when he asked that he could, as his dad is just as much his parent as I am , but it hurt. I told him to plz not think it’s because I didn’t want him with me or to let anyone make him think I didn’t love him because I let him go, but I let him go because I do love him that much. He deserved to be where he was happy, it was not about my happiness. He was happier or with his dad because they had 22 acres, sorry bikes, mamaw and papaw right there, etc. He was into those things. I didn’t want him to feel trapped, and I loved in town with little to do. It was so hard but it all worked out. I still had him often and he ended up coming back home not too much later. Never asked again to move and it’s been 10 years… he’s 19 now. But he has always been able to go to his dad’s any time he wanted, me and my ex have always co parented well. Maybe talk to your ex about how you’d work out everything. Good luck…I know every situation is different.
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All good parents are resented… At some point in time… Do what you feel is best for them… Everything is not about what kids want
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I’d recommend maybe telling them they have to finish off the school year, then let them spend the summer there just to see how that goes. They could always change their mind & it would be best before school starts. I know it hurts your heart momma, but this is coming from someone who was 13 & begging my mom to let me move 2 & a half hours with my dad, & it ended really ugly but I got my way. But eventually I went back home. I always seen my mom as the bad guy, & my dad as the hero. Now that I’m older I see everything my mom did was for a reason, & she’s my absolute bestfriend. Not saying my dad isn’t a hero cause he is, but I do see where my mom was coming from. Hugs, prayers, it will be alright 
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He could have them during the summers.
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People here saying the children shouldn’t have a say, they would do if this situation went to court any child over the age of 12 can stand up to a judge and tell them there wishes. 12 and 13 are not longer babies, they have feelings and wish for them to be heard. Dads have equal rights as mums amd should be allowed equal time. If my child wanted to go to their dad their is no way I’m ignoring how my child’s feeling. They deserve to be given that chance with their father.
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I would definitely test it out say for summer break…then if they decide they like they can register for school…
This way no disruption if they decide not for them
You move, if you can’tlet them go.
Listen, you can’t make your kids choose. You just can’t.
My ex got transferred to NC from CA for work, my son went with him and I went a year later.
Spent 4 years there and then moved back.
You don’t force your children to suffer discomfort for your sake, you make accommodations for the kids to live the best life possible
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I think it’s really sweet that you are taking the time to really think about this and your children’s happiness. So first off, I’d wait until summer to let them test the waters. See if their dad’s house truly is best for them. Sometimes they always think the grass is greener because mom yelled at me or something but in all honesty mom just has their best interest in mind 
. I’d also ask them why? Not to be petty or anything but to understand, do they like where he lives more? Would they want to live with me if I moved closer to their father? Have different/better friends there? Are they bullied? All these things can be big contributors.
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Let them before they turn 15 and 16 cos thats when the headache starts 
fck it if they wanna go let them go, let their father and his misses deal with the headache Lmao 
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No absolutely not, they need to stay with you. I would not allow that to happen.
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Kids don’t always want what’s best for them. That’s why they have adults to make tough choices.
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Let them try and if it doesn’t work out welcome them back
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They are at the age where they can choose which parent they can live with. You don’t like the idea but think what the dad has gone as through now it’s your turn to see what it’s like to only have the kids a couple days a fortnight
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That doesn’t sound like a good plan. I would just up the visitation more
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This all depends on the type of father he is? I feel for you as I have been there but my I didn’t allow it as he wasn’t a good role model… but they still had contact, now they are adults they can see he wasn’t a good father and put his own needs before them. If he is a good father then that’s different and I am sure the children would be happy but you would have to monitor that and also still play a part in seeing them also as much as you can. Good luck 
You wouldn’t be parenting right if they didn’t harbor a little resentment.
Come to a compromise. Tell them they can spend the summer months with him and see if they like it enough to stay after that experience.
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But WHY is it not in their best interest?
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It’s really up to them. Unless there’s a real reason why it would either be unsafe or unstable. It sucks but they will always be your sons, it’s not like they are going to forget who mom is.
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As someone who has been in the kids position, I would let them go. And honestly depending on the state, they are old enough to choose themselves anyway. Not saying that it’s right to put that choice to a child/teen but that’s how it is. They will resent you if they are kept from their dad in that way. You need to sit your ex down to have an adult discussion about them living there. I mean, they may want to live there but does their father? That’s the type of stuff you need to discuss with him. Most dads wouldn’t mind their kids living with them but sometimes when they have a gf or something they don’t want kids there.
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Let them go.stay the summer.
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They are boys that would need a father figure in their life around the teenage years. I agree with the people that say summer stay to test it out. It’s just 2 hours visit on the weekend. It’s a good thing to have a break and self peace for a little bit. Get things done you normally would put off or sacrifice for the boys.
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Try it out give them a trial period see how it goes my oldest 11 wants to live with his dad so we did he still visits every weekend I get him all his breaks during school and in some states kids at this age can voice there opinion in court about were they want to live 
I know mama it hurts but just test the waters see what happens
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I say stand ur ground Mama!!! They are with you to begin with for a reason.
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Have you and your ex speak with them together about how you both agree it’s best to stay with you. Perhaps they could be there more during a school break/summer.
Give it a chance. Doesnt have to be permanent. But it lets them see which they like better and if it doesnt work out they can always come back
Let them try it I bet it won’t last long.
But why is it not in their best interest? Are they abusive, neglect them, do drugs. If they are no danger to them I think at this age boys really need their father more and more.
I’d personally set up a contract with dad, and the boys.
Have to maintain a certain grade point average, not miss school unless sick enough to go to the Dr and rules that need to be followed at both houses.
Have you talked to them and asked why all of the sudden they want the switch? I know my son will eventually tell me that he wants to live at his dads but I also know rules are pretty nonexistent there so obviously any child would want to be with a parent who doesn’t really care what they do. What does their father say about it?
Discuss with dad and do a few month trial and see how it works out. Is the gf up for parenting the kids while dads no there?
Nothing against moms, because I have a son who I love dearly, but boys need to be around their dad. My husband has taught our son so much in life that I could never have done. We were not divorced but had we been, it would have killed me to let him go, however he needed his dad and life skills I couldn’t teach him. Please try to understand it’s not about you, it’s about them and I’m sure they love you but being a male, they may also be needing a male figure in their life more
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Can you relocate as well if you decided to let them live w their dad this way you could still be a hands on mom?
Against their best interest OR because it’s against yours.
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Try it for the summer and see if it works out.
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There old enough to decide according even to courts so honestly you gotta let them so they don’t resent you.
Why do they want to leave ?
I wouldn’t do it… I have a 13 year old daughter and she wants to live with her dad as well when we had a heart-to-heart she just said that he has more freedom and she can basically do whatever she wants. It seems a little bit like your boys would have the same freedom and that is probably the only reason for wanting to go at the end of the day I would just not let them go. They won’t hate you for it( even tho it may seem that way) and later they will thank you…
by law they can decide at age 13
At their age they have a say in where they want to primary live. Have you sat down and talked with them about how they are feeling and why they want to move… not about it’s not in their best interest? Is something going on making them want to move? Maybe they just want more time with their dad. My step daughter went through this at this age. She lived with us for 3 years… Her and mom just weren’t seeing eye to eye now she visits every other week. Let them try it!
They are probably missing their dad, let them go for the summer and see how it goes. I would call everyday to remind them how important and loved they are to you.
Make them wait til summer break and let them go. They may come back.
It would kill me when it gets to the age when my boys get to teen years, but maybe try it over the summer months and then sit down and talk to your son and his dad to see how everything went ect.