I’ve been with my partner for 2.5 years and I’ve been noticing a woman commenting on his posts on ig. I asked him about her and he said he didn’t know her and she was just some Instagram garden tool that he follows. I just thought it was suspicious because she lives in our same city and he’s been dating only me since he moved here 2.5 years ago but I let it go. I was at his house tonight and he was talking about how he feels about marriage and I was named nowhere in that picture. I didn’t say anything because his son was in the room with us. So tonight I come home and the woman posted a comment on his IG that definitely indicates that they talk outside of ig. I’m 43 and feel so stupid and insecure and that I’m too old for this bs but I want to contact her so bad and ask what the nature of their relationship is. I know I shouldn’t but I really want to because I feel like I’ve wasted so much time with him and don’t want to waste anymore. What do you guys think? Should I contact her?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I message the girl who has been commenting on my boyfriends instagram?re
I would. Maybe just tell her you’re really innocently just asking in some way do you don’t come off threatening
I don’t see the harm in messaging her … Especially if you don’t think he’d tell you the truth
Hell yea I would have already
Once u cross this bridge you can’t come back from it even and especially if it’s not what u think. But u should do what u feel is best so send her a message if u want ask her how she knows your bf and ask just like that.
Don’t contact her, you will be made out to look nuts. He’s the one u leave !!! He is in a relationship. Not her fault its his
I would definitely message her.
What did she comment?
And when you do contact her give us an update 
Just leave. Don’t contact her she doesn’t owe you. But he does
It’ll drive you nuts if you don’t try and ask her something. If she gets defensive and won’t talk to you then that behavior would give me a huge red flag.
Well she jst maybe a w**** & not tell you anything. I would jst get his phone while asleep n message her acting like him. You sure would find out a lot more 4 sure Good luck. .
No. Stop looking at his social media.
If you dont trust him thats on you.
You need to talk to him then her
Ask her and be prepared to leave if he is stepping out on your relationship. You will be ok! I promise. Take it 1 day at a time. Good luck
So he isn’t allowed to speak to anyone but you? I am confused as to why it is an issue?
Why is she responsible to let you know that your man is acting like a hoe, she’s not in a relationship with you. Confront your man and leave. You deserve better.
She owes you nothing. Take it up with the boyfriend.
I would definitely contact her and find out how she knows your BF…
It’s not a relationship you want to continue with if he’s lying about how he knows her.
It’s not a coincidence that she lives in the same city && he follows her plus she’s commenting. I would want confirmation too Just start with hey and she how she responds -
I would send her a msg, absolutely
I’d confront both of them. Him first, then her.
Talk to him. Be honest about your feelings. Maybe he is being honest. Maybe his not. Just be open. The truth will reveal itself.
Nope, if you can’t trust what he says is true, say goodbye…
Meh. It sounds like you’re a placeholder to that guy while he tries to find the one. You’re putting in effort with no return on investment. I’d suggest you let her have him and cut your losses. There’s no shortage of men, I assure you.
She is not the problem!!! Your man is! He can delete her and block her if he didn’t like the attention!
You don’t trust HIM. Listen to your gut.
O wow i have prob 200 ppl on my fb from my town. Never meet none of them in person. So by what your saying i seeing all 200 ppl. Lol
Honestly, move on. You’re right, it’s bs and just childish boyish crap that you shouldn’t have to deal with. He should block her if he plans on keeping his IG. If he won’t do that, then that’s your answer
Fuck yeah message her. That’s how I busted my fiance cheating
If you are going to confront someone, confront him, she may not know about you…
Yes, I would. If your intuition is sending you red flags, it’s for a reason… Never ignore your gut.
If you plan on messaging her You might as well skip that step and just leave because hes never gonna trust you again Whether hes guilty of anything or not and especially if he is not. I’m a shocked that the idea to message a stranger to get answers about your boyfriend is even a thing. This is not high school sit down and talk to him in demand answers Or I drop it. How would you feel if you had an old male
friend on Facebook that he didn’t know, and the old friend commented on your stuff a lot possibly very innocently and your boyfriend just suddenly message him , aggressively demanding answers.
Statt following her.
Do it! Follow your gut
Do not message the woman who is talking to your boyfriend. If he’s engaging with her he’s the one that you need to talk to and then you decide if he leaves or not
Go into his phone and block her. 
If you are questioning whether to contact her I truly believe you need to end the relationship. It’s not only about him talking to someone else but that after 2.5 years in the relationship you don’t feel secure enough to trust him
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That lady owes you nothing but your boyfriend does. It’s on him.
You need to be confronting your boyfriend. He is the one that is entertaining her. He is the one that owes you loyalty and respect not him.
If you contact her don’t blame her for anything. Just ask her maybe she won’t know and he’s lying to her too and actually tell you the truth. That way you can confront your boyfriend and tell him he’s full of lies and tell him that’s not ehat she told you and you’re to old for his bs. (I just read that someone thinks you can’t be trusted if you contact her calling it childish like you’re in high school. I feel like that is dumb. As long as you’re not lashing out at this woman it’s not childish and as for trusting you lol he’s the one that can’t be trusted. Gosh… if he gets mad and tries to gaslight you into believing you are doing anything wrong then it’s obvious he’s doing all the wrong. And doesn’t she deserve the truth if he’s lying to her too? )
Listen to your intuition it’s there for a reason.
Your beef is with him. If you don’t trust him, kick him to the curb. Leave that particular woman out of it. Sounds like you are committed but he isn’t.
Your issue is with him not the woman.
U don’t know what his told her.
I say hell yes contact her! Not to blame her but to actually find out the nature of their relationship, most likely she knows nothing about you, get ur answers then confront ur bf
Is it known on his IG that you two are together? That makes a difference to me. If she knows about you, she’s just as much to blame as he is. If she doesn’t, that’s all on him. I say message her and simply ask if she knew he was seeing someone. It honestly sounds like one of you is the side piece though.
Your frustration is misplaced. You should have a discussion with your boyfriend and not the woman
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Walk away! After 2.5 years and no discussion of marriage? Hit the road and dont waste anymore time!
I say contact her no blaming her for anything n that way too if she’s lying to her then she’s not waisting her time on him either I’ve been there n I don’t play cuz 9 times outta 10 he’s not gonna be honest
Make comments yourself on his IG . Like…love u can’t wait to see you see how he reacts
Contact her, but know she may not have a clue- I think he is the issue and of he is not being truthful/he has got to go
I am sorry, but you deserve better
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i wouldn’t. you should speak to him about how you’re feeling.
Your problem is with your man! Not that woman lol
Unless she’s commenting sexual or flirty things, I wouldn’t say anything. Ur bf should be the one stopping it, so if she’s commenting flirtatious shit and he’s not taking care of the problem, he’s the main issue
Talk to him. You either believe him or not. Go with your gut.
Yes but be nice 
she didn’t do anything…
I think contacting her will make you look like a 12-year-old go directly to him and find out the real truth and then take it from there.
I would confront both of them
I would but approach with caution. You want to know what’s going on, not for her to lie to you.
Forget her for a moment. There was a conversation about marriage right? And you said you weren’t in the conversation, do you want to be his wife? In my opinion it doesn’t take 3+ years to know if you see that happening with someone. You need to have a conversation with HIM. Also, if she makes you uncomfortable, you need to speak to HIM about her, and if he chooses to find it dumb or you acting crazy, you truly have your answer. You need to be with someone who has no issue hurting another person’s/ females feelings to keep you happy. We have one life to live and You should be old enough to know that time is all we have and wasting it is not an option.
She didn’t say she had a problem with the other lady she said that basically she can’t get the truth out of her man. Some women know a man is already taken and don’t care. If it were me I would ask her but meh who am I lol
Ask him where you stand in his life i.e. marriage etc.
Maybe they are just online friends, it could all be innocent. Can you see the content of the messages between them? That would give you more of an idea what their connection is.
Contact her and ask what is going on. If it’s nothing then it’s no problem.
I’d confront her, but then again, it feels like you’re wasting your time. This is why I don’t date anyone because I just don’t trust anyone period. I hope you follow what your gut tells you. Your gut is always right.
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No, you should grow up and stop being so insecure. Instagram is literally made for people to comment on.
I mean if she thinks she’s in a relationship with him and doesn’t know about you, she should know he’s dogging her too right? If there is no way she doesn’t know about you, then leave it alone. Either way, it’s time to ditch him and move on
I wouldn’t bother contacting her.
If he’s not being honest, and you don’t trust him, cut your losses.
I’d confront her, depending on what she commented. If it’s flirty definetly. When I’ve confronted girls before it turned out something was going on… trust your gut
Contacting her is the fastest way to terminate your relationship with your BF. It may be best to focus on yourself and insecurities. Without trust you have no relationship
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Why don’t you comment on hes ig just like she has/does? If it’s innocent I can’t see it bothering either of them 
if it does cause a scene then I think you have your answer.
If he ain’t telling the truth I’m sure she will. But is it really worth it ? If you’re feeling insecure in the relationship it means he isn’t doing his part in making you feel secure…so I’d leave !!! Never to old to find love !!!
I’d be more concerned that he calls his friends garden tools.
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Leave her alone. Handle him.
Leave her alone and leave him
Leave him, you deserve better
Why contact her, just watch how he moves…. Follow your gut
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I would contact her. But that’s me
If she’s a garden tool, why does he follow her then 
I would talk to him again and I might request that he unfollows + then blocks her and see what he comes back with 
You could always reach out to the girl to see what the nature of their relationship but I wouldn’t go pointing fingers or being hostile towards her. I would be nice when asking about it and see what she says
She may thank you for letting her know he has a girlfriend.
She did nothing. It’s all on ur man.
Comment on his IG too… if something is going on you’ll find out quick.
Girl I would have already contacted her, hacked his Instagram and read the messages. Too old for wasting BS time
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I would contact her. It could be innocent 
. Or she may think she’s his only girlfriend. I saw in a news feed once where a woman replied to a post after the man had died. She just said “how do you know John?” The OP said “he was my husband of xx years” the second woman said “what? He is my boyfriend for xx years”. Sadly neither could confront him about it. Find out what’s happening now.
I have male friends. Both on and offline. Doesn’t mean I want anything more than friendship. Would you be so suspicious if he had a male friend? How do you know he is not bi?
It would be helpful if You told us what the comment was. To see if what she said was really an indication that they do talk outside IG, or if your overreacting ( no insult intented) because you already feel threaten by her. .Maybe they bumped into each other outside of IG and recgonized each other and chatted a few. That happened to Me TWICE! …Also…Most …not all but most men
will not have a side women onhis same IG where is gf is on , ESP if the side women is always commenting and current gf has already questioned him about her.
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Nope just leave. No trust no relationship.
When I was 20, a girl contacted me through AIM asking me about the guys name in my profile, asking me if it was my bf… which she informed me he was also her bf. She didn’t know about me, but I had a clue he was messing around behind my back.
Just saying.
I would do it you deserve to know