Can you post this? Should I not allow my daughter to call my boyfriend Dad?
So basically my daughter is turning three in september and my boyfriend has been in her life since she was 9 months old. Her bio dad has been here and there, moves away and doesn’t take her, comes back and wants her again, etc. Fast forward to now, my boyfriend has helped me raise her, teach her how to walk, talk, numbers, letters, colors, everything imaginable. She loves him so much her eyes light up when she sees him. And now we’re having issues with her Bio dad because he moved back and told he isn’t okay with her calling him dad. Advice? Opinions on the situation? Am i in the wrong for thinking it’s okay?
If she calls him that on her own, I would let it happen.
I agree but he tells me i’m manipulating her because i allow her to. But i have never once made her, she has done it all on her own.
I am going through this exact same thing with my son, the difference is my sons father is actually involved and always has been. My boyfriend and I have been together since the day my son was born, (his father and I were an oopsie, & he was in a relationship with his now wife that I didn’t know about)… yikes.
But basically I told him that we always call him by his first name when we are talking TO my son about him, but around the house he is Daddy because we have other children who call him dad. My son has picked up on it and calls him dad as well. His father is having a hard time with it, but basically I have told him that I won’t correct this behavior because it is not wrong and we do not make him say it or correct him when he doesn’t. Kids will call anyone what they want, especially when they are in a position to be called dad it will happen. As she gets older and more so understands the family dynamic, I would have a chat with her that she can call your SO whatever she is comfortable with, even if it’s not dad, and you and him will be okay with it. That way it takes the pressure off of her. As long as she and both dads understand that is it HER decision and does not have anything to do with how much or little she loves each of them.