I let my kids read and or write at bedtime as long as they stay in their beds and stay quiet. My husband says I’m too lenient with them they are 6 and 7 btw. Anyways I grew up with horrible insomnia and anxiety and wasn’t allowed to do anything but stare at the walls. I think I’m a little traumatized by the way my parents didn’t help me through my sleeping and anxiety troubles—anyway; I’m just looking for opinions. I know bedtime is important, but so is mental health. Idk. Maybe I am too lenient.
Honestly I feel like it’s a really healthy thing to do compared to just allowing them to watch tv all night. Sometimes reading a book will make your eyes tired and you end up dozing off. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Think I may start allowing my kids to do the same.
When my son was in foster care he had a lot of sleep issues. The foster parents let him stay up and write as late as he needed, even if it was late. It was how he got all the thoughts out of his head so he could stay calm. The therapists and case workers supported it so I would say you are doing the right thing
I think it’s a great thing to do!
It sounds like a good. Soothing creative outlet to me
Unless they’re staying up til 12 or 1 I don’t see it being an issue as long as they’re actually reading or writing. If anything it’ll help them in the future with those skills
Do they have the same sleep/anxiety issues?
I grew up without a bedtime. It was quiet after X’o’clock (it changed as I grew older) and if it was bed or quiet bedroom time it was fine - the only rule was, I couldn’t be grumpy from being over tired, I made the decision to stay up so I had to handle it and not grump at or around others because it wasn’t their consequence. So as my daughter gets older, I’ll do the same with her. She’s only 2 and happily has a bedtime routine. Bath, books and bed. Sometimes she’ll wriggle, get comfortable and sleep. Or she’ll grab a stuffy and lay there playing with it until she falls asleep.
For me I would personally say reading at bedtime yes, because it can be relaxing and encourages good habits. Writing I wouldn’t do though because it is a mentally active thing that would cause them to wake up more.
My son is almost 7 and I let him spend 30 minutes before bed to read his book of choice to his dog or me. He loves it. He picks out his own book and everything. Its a great way to relax their mind from the day.
I loved reading at bedtime. You’re doing great, mom.
i think it’s a really good way for them to relax! as long as they’re up early in the morning at the usual time. the only occasion i would suggest keeping an eye on them is if they’re waking up constantly tired, i don’t know. i read to my 3 year old every night before bed and when she can properly read i’d like her to read before bed because i think it’s a lovely calm thing for kids to do, not to mention it being educational too xx
No problem with it. Awesome habit to have. Good job
and don’t let your husband wind you up saying you’re too lenient. they’re only young once and they will remember how their mama let them express themselves through reading and writing from a young age this is so lovely x
Maybe compromise and have reading or writing prior to sleep time. Still quite, still in bed but designate a lights out for sleep?
You’re doing just fine, Mama.
My son is allowed to do what he wants (within reason…and no tv) quietly for 1 hour after “bed time.” It’s worked out really well for him. He’s 8 and we’ve been doing it this way for almost 2 years. He’s not much of a reader, but he’ll write in his journal, play cards or with his soldiers. Occasionally he’ll build a fort to sleep in.
I think it is a healthy routine. It’s calming and as long as they are getting enough sleep it shouldn’t be an issue
My doctor, after I was diagnosed with anxiety, TOLD me to get a notebook to write in to have somewhere to put all of my thoughts so I could try and get some sleep.
I think that is a much better idea than screen time. If I were you I’d let them keep it up
That sounds like the perfect calming nighttime thing. Mine read too, puts them to sleep
My daughter is 3 . I let her look at the books in the dark while a nightlight is on, haven’t had any troubles, I’ll keep the writing in mind for when she gets older.
As long as they get enough sleep and are healthy then why not? I love falling asleep reading.
Better than tv or electronics for sure
My kids read an hour before bed. Its relaxing for them.
You’re doing something that is AMAZING. Great Job, Mama!
Reading is a FABULOUS way to relax. TOO many parents giving in to TV and screens at bedtime. Remind him how.lucky he is that you have sense and don’t do THAT.
Let them stay up in a family room or kitchen reading and writing until they get sleepy. Make him stay with them. He’ll change his mind
Maybe put them to bed just a bit earlier to do their writing/drawing give an x amount of time…then dim the lights or use a bed lamp (so it isn’t too bright) for them to read their story. Reading at night can be very relaxing…when my daughter was younger that was our routine for her, it was always supper,outside to play, bath time, drawing/coloring then a story with snuggles before time for sleep.after all of that I always asked her what was her favorite part of the day ,she would fall asleep talking about her favorite things…enjoy them while they are small… I think what you are doing is fine as long as they are not grumpy in the mornings and able to get up on time.
Being too lenient is giving ice cream for dinner every night or something like that. Having some quiet time before bed is an excellent idea. It helps calm the kids mind plus gives parents a little break. Tell your hubby to stop criticizing you. Pour a glass of wine or a cup of tea and enjoy some quiet time yourself!
I wish my parents would’ve allowed something like this. As an adult I read to tired myself. I think as long as they do end up sleeping and don’t need naps they are fine and you aren’t “too lenient” ,you are understanding.
How’s this a question
You’re doing just fine. It’s a good habit. I do something similar. I give her an extra 30 mins. Which means she has to go to bed 30 minutes earlier. Her dad & I call it her wind down time. Besides, it helps soothe them to sleep. Sets their mind up for a good rest.
My 8 year old has a book light and reads every night. As long as he’s in bed, we’re fine with it. He never stays up late and ends up going to sleep normally. I think it’s wonderful you are trying something different for your children.
Your definitely not to lenient and writing and reading is fantastic for them to do,tell your husband if he’s not aware that reading and writing is fantastic at bedtime than to look up facts about it. If he thinks that’s to lenient than does that mean he’s a monster and wants them be asleep by bed time instead of doing something to help them fall asleep?.
That’s actually a great idea. I may try that with mine.
You are doing fine. Each child is different and has different needs. As parents we rarely think of kids as needing specific care for their mental health. Growing up we were told “your a kid what do you have to worry about” not understanding that kids process everything around them with less understanding than adults. Or sometimes more. Don’t feel guilty about doing what your kids need as long as it’s not harming them.
My girls are 12 and 13 and I send them up a half hour before their “bedtime” to wind down to read, write, or draw. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. I think as long as they are getting sleep at night and aren’t staying up until all hours it’s ok.
My kids read every night before bed. If I could get them to write too, I would! lol! You are doing an awesome job! Having empathy for your children is often labled as “too lenient” I have found.
thats exactly what you should do. even doctors recommend reading before bed. it helps their minds wind down
Journaling would be amazing, reading is fantastic too. I’d put mine in bed a little earlier and ignore 30-45 minutes of lights on to let them be absorbed like that. Phones and iPads probably have an adverse effect on sleeping, but good old fashioned pen and paper and/or a real book would probably unwind them.
My daughter is 3 (I know bigger age gap) and we let her play quietly in her room or read books in bed when she can’t sleep.
I say NEVER discourage reading or writing!
I let my kids read at bedtime, nothing wrong with that. You are encouraging them to enjoy those things. My girls love to read and go read when they don’t want to play.
I’d just say maybe put a limit on it
Bed time is 9, light have to be off at 10:30
That’s gives them over an hour to relax but they still go to bed at a reasonable time
Cuz I would be getting frustrated to if I sending my kids to bed at say 9 but they are still up past midnight.
My wee girl does the same if she can’t sleep read draw or write
Reading and writing before bed is amazing. When I have trouble sleeping I’ll do one or the other which calms my brain enough that I can sleep.
i would 100% let them read/write at bedtime. if staying up too late is affecting their (or your) day to day business, THEN start taking it away… but if they’re getting to school on time and not having a “too tired” bad attitude, let it go. staying up late to read is one of my fondest childhood memories
I agree with the reading. I know that once I’m in bed and reading I fall asleep a lot faster.
Sounds like a good problem to have I would just set a limit to the amount of time so they aren’t up too late. Sounds like a good way to wind down from their day.
Their is nothing wrong with them at this age, to read a book, color/draw, watch a movie ( to help fall asleep) your doing a great job!
I’m pretty lenient on technology in my house(after chores and homework) but every bit of technology is shut off in our house at 7:45pm. From 7:45-8:30, they can read or journal and then it’s lights out. The older kids get to have soft lights on until 9pm if they are reading or writing. I think you’re doing a good thing!
Reading will actually help them sleep better. Maybe set a time limit…like an hour before lights out. Sounds like your doing good job mom…you know your child better than anyone else.
I always read and write things in bed. When I was young , and now I’m mum to five kids. All of which read and write. If they appear to be tired next day, just put a limit on amount of time, but still let them for that limit.
My daughter has to do bed time routine of brushing teeth, hair, lay down and say prayers. If she feels as though she can’t sleep we allow her to play or drawl quietly. It helps her decompress from the day and since she can’t write yet I like her draw bc she can vent her emotions. We homeschool so it’s not like she gets up super early, but I don’t want her to just lay there and have a bunch of feelings when she can privately express them in a healthy way in her own room. Their room should be their safe place to decompress just like we as adults watch tv or read in bed before we go to sleep
If your kids take an interest in reading and writing, especially at that age, that’s great! I would let them. I too had insomnia as a kid and wasn’t allowed to turn on a light to read. I would let my kiddos♥️
Your the greatest of parent ?( think about they have slept most of days 10 hers and few more nap) tell dad to nice they still babies when they sleep on a book is the best learning
That’s way better then letting them use electronics. Reading and writing are very relaxing and highly recommended for falling asleep. That’s great that they’re so young and choose those activities before bedtime. Way to go mom!
I agree to reading at night. It helps with vocabulary development and it’s something they actually chose. Even though it may not be the desired timing for up husband, they are learning to self soothe with an activity that will benefit them later in many ways.
Of course it’s a good idea as long as they don’t take advantage and think it’s something that will keep them from falling asleep. So maybe a little lamp of some sort otherwise it’s not healthy for them to go to bed late especially if they are keeping the big light on that won’t help but sounds to me your doing it the right way
Too lenient??? I think this is wonderful. My children had bedtime routines that included bath time, snuggles and then reading for 30-45 minutes before lights out. Routines help too. I suffer with anxiety and insomnia myself. Your understanding is loving not lenient❤
I think that’s amazing!!! Let them read and write!! Good for you and them!
Writing is such a healthy outlet for wandering minds and reading is a great way to wind down. Totally appropriate and healthy ways to get ready to sleep. Especially being their age… Great routine and habits to get into!
I think what you’re doing is a good idea as long as they are hurting anybody and they are safe I’d rather they do that then compared to what other kids their age is doing nowadays I wouldn’t change it if I was you unless you’re kids aren’t for it then y’all come together and find something that works and y’all can agree with
Would you tell an adult not to read or write before bed? I think if we all started having the same expectations we hold ourselves to for our children, we wouldn’t beat ourselves up for parenting decisions and would would have children that have realistic life expectations and communication skills.
Doing a great job mom!
That’s an awesome idea. I’m totally gonna start letting this happen in my house.
You’re doing great. Why make them stop something that isn’t an issue?
I think you’re mom and you know how much sleep they really need.
Thats beautiful!! Way to go Mom
If they behave, and stay in bed. Then why take that privilege?
I have 1 who sleeps with a flash light & books. She’ll read until she falls asleep. Why not? She’s winding herself down & READING. I don’t get his problem.
Idk man. My kids watch TV to go to bed
Reading always helped me to fall asleep
I love this so much
I read every night in bed for that reason. My mom encouraged it and that was years ago before we had real diagnosis. As long as it’s something that relaxes them I don’t think it’s a bad thing.
Reading and writing can actually decrease stress and anxiety and in return, help them sleep better
My son reads and draws in bed it’s relaxing and makes him tired nothing wrong with it it helps his mind
Your husband is too controlling. Ever, at any time, discouraging reading and/or writing is downright ignorant. In private only, away from your children, put him in his place!
It really depends on your kids. I’ve always had issues with insomnia and if I start reading or writing at bedtime I will be up all night long. Same for my kids. They hyper-focus on it and cannot let it go.
Both of my boys have some major sleep issues. I do a “progression” bedtime routine with them.
They “go to bed” about 630-7. They’re allowed cartoons until 8 provided they lay down and are quiet (to help their bodies relax and prepare for sleep). Then at 8 I switch it over to classical music.
When we redo their room next week the routine is changing a little because we bought an alarm that does a light show on the ceiling and plays music.
Maybe something like that would be a good compromise. They can read/write for so long then it’s time to put it away and use some kind of lighting and music to help relax them into sleep.
There isn’t anything wrong with reading and writing before and in bed. It is a relaxing way to end the day.
Id do what I want to do its great hes comminicating with you. I wouldn’t let them read all nighy or write all night. We have a lights out. So after 9 you need to go to bed that means no reading no tv etc
let them read at bedtime it will give them better dreams and help tire them out xxx <3
My 8 and 6 year old have books until they fall asleep. They are in bed around 8 and depending on our day asleep by 8:30-9. As long as they are not making a ton of noise, and bouncing around I don’t see a problem.
Just commenting to say you sound like an AMAZING mama
My daughter reads in bed shes 6, she’s an exceptional reader for her age, I’d say yes let them! It does help so much if they aren’t too tired to go to sleep too. She doesn’t read for too long and it helps her sleep x
I wish you were my mum! All I wanted to do was read but my parents would take my books away if they caught me reading in bed. I encourage reading and collect every single book set they want. My husband also supports our book hobby.
I still read every night. It’s a great took to relax and unwind from the day.
Your husband sounds like a controlling dickhead. My kids read or draw every night until they fall asleep. They have lanterns that sit on their bed so the room light isn’t on. As long as they aren’t staring at a screen before bed I wouldn’t worry about it.
I think that is lovely i actually think it myt have been some of my problems to lying awake in bed thinking! Xx
Sometimes we do run away from opportunity because of our past experience but sometimes we just have to keep trying and never give up, I was afraid when i make my investment deposit but i thank God she’s not like others, she returns my profits in 4trading days, you can message her Kira Belenkaya
I usually read to my oldest who will be 7 next week but here lately she’s been playing house a lot so she reads herself and her ‘babies’ to sleep last night. I think it’s a great habit, it works their mind and helps them relax and regulate in their own.
I read my 6 year old a story every night before bed. Helps with nightmares
Hell my kid watches tv or her tablet for bedtime love sound n lighting
My 7 year old is in bed at 9 then we let him read until he falls asleep. Usually around 10. Sometimes I worry he’s staying up to late. But i cant really complain that he’s reading an hour a night you know? Plus he does fine the next day and doesn’t act tired.
I say as long as they are laying in bed and rest and not making a lot of noise let them read. I know on nights that I can’t sleep if I start reading I will get sleepy after a few pages. Also if I have a lot on my mind at bedtime it’s hard for me to fall asleep and if I take the time to write what is bothering me in my journal it helps clear my mind so I can get some rest
No your doing a good job! My daughter also reads in bed. It helps het sleeping a lot better.
As someone that struggled to sleep as a kid, I think it’s great.
absolutely agree with those saying let them read and write–helps them to unwind and relax for better sleep, and encourages reading and writing! No devices at bed time though–only actual books, paper as the lights will disturb their hormones. The only thing to be aware of is when they are teens–that they are not reading books that are too exciting which they don’t want to put down. I have to follow that myself as an older adult! I keep biographies, histories, comedic writings by the bed and save the historical fictions, mysteries for earlier.
As long as my kids stay in their rooms Idc what they do. My 3 year old us good at going to sleep. I pretty much let my 11 and 13 year olds go to bed when they want