Think about this good. If he wanted to get back at you he could fight you for custody. If he wins you loose your child, or worse you get 50/50 custody with a man who will mistreat and neglect your child.
I didn’t put my son’s sperm donor on the birth certificate and I’m so glad I didn’t. Now when I get married if my man wants to adopt my son he can and we won’t have to fight over parental rights with the sperm donor.
You don’t need to have him on the birth certificate for child support there are other avenues. Whether he is on the birth certificate or not, doesn’t make him anymore or less of a father, his actions will determine that. If you want to move states or holiday outside of your country, just remember you won’t be able to do that without his permission if he’s on the birth certificate.
Put him on birth certificate and get child support. He does not get a pass.
I think that you should give the man a chance to be a father. Of course he suggested an abortion if he’s not a huge pro-lifer; especially since y’all don’t have a committed relationship. Most ppl don’t have a goal of parenting with someone they’re not interested in having a life-long relationship with. However, that doesn’t mean he wants his kids to be in the world fatherless. So when he’s officially a father, he may very well take on the responsibility of fatherhood. As far as last names, it really depends on how connected the families are. I can’t say that I ever cared what my last name was because I don’t feel that connected to any family for it to matter. There’s no legacy for me to carry on. However, your situation may be different and the last name may carry some significance to you or to the father.
I don’t know how it works where you’re from but here in UK you have to both be there to sign for him to be on it unless your married. My oldest doesn’t have his fathers name on the birth certificate he wasn’t there to sign he’s useless anyways and never bothered my son knows who he is.
You told him already. In the future if he decides he wants to be part of your child’s life, he could go to court and request a paternity test.
In my husbands case he didn’t even find out until he was 50 years old that the man he called Dad was not his biological father. His mother kept it a secret and told him when she thought she was about to die from a heart attack. He was an only child…so he thought! He discovered he has a half sister and two half brothers. It hasn’t been able to connect with them. Mother would not tell him any details. She passed last June. So, It becomes important when medical issues come up and you are asked by doctors what kind of of medical issues does your mother have or your father have.
Had the same issue with my daughter. I’d say wipe your hands clean and walk away. Don’t give him rights to the baby when he doesn’t want it.
Child support has nothing to do with his name on or off the birth certificate
Honestly, I say consult a lawyer. Find out the benefits of having him on there and the risks and then decide what makes most sense for you and your child.
His name does not have to be on birth certificate to get child support. Im sick of guys washing their hand of financial responsiblity.
My advice. Don’t do it. If he later proves he wants to be apart of your child’s life, than you can give him rights or work out an agreement. If you put him on the certificate you have no choice, and front he sounds of it this isn’t a typically situation so the question is up to you. If you trust this person enough if your child, then by all means put them on cause then they have just as much rights to their child as you you. However, if you don’t, like I didn’t. I wouldn’t. They don’t need to be on the certificate in order to be apart of their child’s life
Putting his name on the birth certificate does not mean you have to depend on him. Just gives your child the right to know who his father is.
If not married no… it’s a bitch lot of paperwork to change it to your name in court. Especially SSN…as long as his name is on birth certificate he’s responsible… even if he challenged dna…
Leave him off and be done with it… Women have the right to choice if they want to Continue a pregnancy or terminate so why can a man. If he wishes to terminate being a father than that’s his right doesn’t make him a dead beat any more than it would the mother.
As ur not married you cant even put his name on a birth certificate without him ccomming to the registration and as it sounds he doesnt want anything to do with his baby id say that extreamly slim hewould concent
How about only think of your child. They need to know who their father is whether or not the two adults have financial or parenting arrangements. My opinion only.
Still early days, shock does alot to a person, perhaps he comes around to his senses and wants to be a part of the child’s life.
Try again in a few more weeks or couple months from there you can make your decision.
Yeah that’s not how that works… A) depending on where you are, the father’s name on the birth certificate doesn’t necessarily establish paternity b) if he acknowledges the child once born he still has rights regardless of whether or not you apply for child support
If you’re not married he can’t go on the birth birth certificate unless he is present at the appointment
I think what’s best for the child is to know where they came from, and it’s up to them.
I’d say ask him if he wants to be a part if the child’s life. If yes, put him on and have him sign. If no, get legal documentation kf him stating he doesn’t want to be the father nor have any legal ties to your child and give up his rights. That way he can’t flip flop like a fish on dry land whenever he sees fit. Gives him the choice but makes him stick to his choice.
To collect child support you should. He may not want and contact but hes responsible for the child. Check your state laws to see if I’m correct. Best wishes for you and baby
If you happen to choose to put him on the birth certificate, I would 100% suggest from personal experience giving your baby YOUR last name. If it was me I wouldn’t put him on it
The birth certificate is what makes him the father in the eyes of the law. If you plan on taking him for any kind of child support, the answer is yes. If you just want to wash your hands of him and forget he exists, (which is what I would do in your situation since he obviously wants nothing to do with your child) then no leave it off. It will be much easier for you long term. Just know down the road if he has a change of heart he can sue for paternity to be established and get rights to the child. That would mean owing back child support so in most cases it doesn’t happen.
Depends on the state you live in too… I had to put my last name on the birth certificate even though the father was standing right there…
Ladies, please research the laws concerning this in the state in which you reside. Naming the child’s father on the birth certificate does not necessarily give the alleged father any rights, other than paying support. However if you are married to the father that is a game changer. Learn the laws concerning this before you advise someone on this. It might prevent the child from accessing important medical information (genetic information) at a later date.
No don’t do it of you have to ask… I did not on my son his father was never around…
My daughter did her baby daddy was abusive and has no contact order… but now she is trying to get a passport and can’t with out father on birth certificate signing or she goes to court gets full custody than father has opportunity to find out where she lives and my 9 year old granddaughter may have to do visitation after 5 years of no contact or support…
Let him pay maintenance for using you and mentally abusing you
It will be his loss not being part of something so precious
It’s easier said than done but you need to take this situation as a lesson not a lose
Good luck xx
way too many women often do the same thing … wether your in relationship or not with this man he is still the childs biological parent and shuld be named as sutch… it’s wrong for women to use the breakup as a line to give the child a unarmed farther just becouse they’ve splitt up that’s not the childs falt …
I can’t help but wonder what the Ex would think of this upcoming “bundle of joy”. Since he scurried back to her after the play time was over, I sense she has no knowledge of any of this rebound mischief.
I don’t know what the law is in england but if ur not married or living together the father would have to come with u to the register office and sign the birth certificate together x
the father would have to be present to sign the birth certificate so just leave the name off . if in future, you have to sign up for public assistance they will ask who he is and the state will go after him for child support if he pays taxes .
I mean, he wanted you to abort…so I’d say fine, he missed his chance. Your little angel deserves better than that. And you do too.
Put him on the birth certificate. Then sue him for support until your child is out of college.
Do not put him on the birth certificate especially bc you don’t really know him. Once he’s on the birth certificate you both have equal rights if you decide to give him the baby for the weekend and he takes off with it there’s nothing you can do about until the courts are involved
Depends if you can financially support you and the baby alone. I don’t think you can stop him from coming back later and filing for parental rights, even without his name on the certificate.
Don’t put him. Ur better off doing it alone in the end everything you go through will only make you a stronger person and mother!
Consider the child-she is not to blame for a mistake you made-live and learn
I wouldn’t, just give the baby your last name and if he wants to petition later then so be it. Your life and the baby’s life will be so much easier
I know several people in real predicaments because they put the father on the birth certificate. One had to pay thousands in legal fees to prevent the drug head from having access to her daughter. The other didn’t want to force the father to pay, but the court made him. Since he was paying child support, he decided he wanted visitation and he lives out of state. Now he’s married and wants to give up his parental rights, but the court won’t allow it. She’s terrified that he or his wife (who hates the child) will harm or mistreat her while she’s there. I say keep him off the birth certificate if you can afford to raise the child without his support. But don’t keep his identity a secret from the child. If he changes his mind later and becomes responsible, then you can help your child build a relationship with him at your discretion.
In missouri you need fathers consent to be on birth certificate. Whether he likes it or not he’s fiscally responsible til 18.
Yes, I didn’t and my child was very disappointed about it
Casual sex with no thought of repercussions. Now we got a fatherless child who will have issues later in life. WTF is wrong with people. Single moms asking for government handouts cause you wanted some casual sex. SMH
I would put the child up for adoption after birth and swear to not have flings ever again! The child would be adopted and have two parent who love it and can provide for it well.
By the sounds of it you need to wipe your hands of him and be happy without him being involved
If you do it do it in your own as he already expressed no interest and doesn’t want the baby.
This is your choice now but I would focus on doing it by yourself and don’t hit him up for child support as it will just cause you stress and problems down the track as I doubt he would pay it
Please do. As a kid who don’t know her father and my mother keeping me from him… I feel that at least his name should be on the certificate so that If your kid is wanting to find him in future there is a trail
My almost 7 year old son doesn’t have a father listed on his birth certificate. His biological dad and I were together when I got pregnant but he left me for another woman he was cheating on me with. Found out I was pregnant and he told me to abort cause he wasn’t ready to he a dad and now he’s single parent to his almost 7 year old daughter. My bf I’ve been with for almost 6 years is the only dad he knows and one day my bf wants to adopt him. Don’t put him on the birth certificate, he will regret not ever wanting to do anything with the baby. Don’t give him that power unless he comes to his sense and by then baby bean with have a real father who loved them from day one not years later down the road. I’ve went through that experience believe me it’s better not to put him on it
If you’re not married you can’t put him on the birth certificate unless he is present
This may seem like a pessimist view but, it costs LOTS of money to raise a child. You needn’t put his name on the birth certificate but take him to court for child support, and medical costs co-pays and such. In addition, if anything were to happen to the bio father you would be entitled to social security. I believe in my heart and soul if men BELIEVED they would be financially responsible for offspring they would be more responsible in making sure they didn’t have them!
Hard question. But for medical history that might be important info later in the child’s life.
You will never get a dime of support if he doesn’t want to pay it. Trust me. Wash your hands of him and move forward with your blessing. He doesn’t sound like he would be a very good male role model
No, you don’t want to have to fight for custody later. Kids will want same last name as you
Its a decision only you can make. Pros and cons on both. I didn’t and my daughter when she got older didn’t when she had a kid. The law gives your child a chance to collect child support if she wants to. Until she turns 21 . Men always want to play they just don’t want to pay. It has to be your decisions. Do a pros and cons list. If he’s not going to be involved I would say no. Good luck.
Wipe your hands clean. I was alone with 3 children, 2 boys, 1 girl. It is really hard to be alone but far easier than a child going between parents with different rules, values and priorities. I was so angry that he was how he was but now, I am so grateful. I have 3 amazing grown children who do the right thing, are hard workers, value and respect their mom and my sons are incredible dads. They do not need a sperm donor to confuse things or add hardships for you down the road (and he will if he is like this now). Find some solid support systems (I had zero support but did it anyway) and do this. Make yourself and your child, proud. Keep a couple of things in mind from day one; you are your child’s parent, not friend. You can be friends when he or she us born and paying their own bills. Be a parent!! Secondly, teach your child about trust and responsibility. I had to trust my children, especially as teens, since I was in school and working. They knew that if I could trust them and they did what they needed to, the reward was more freedoms. If trust us broken, freedoms disappeared. But if you don’t instill that from the beginning, it will be impossible when they are teens. So as a 2 yr old, helping to put toys away. As a 5 year old, brushing teeth etc. Set expectations that are appropriate but set them. Stand by them. They get extra play time, choice of food or other benefits. Teach daily. It will pay off.
Don’t put him on the birth certificate, child support is NOT worth it.
From my experience, you would be best to go it alone, There is help for single mothers.
If he doesn’t come to the hospital to sign it, it doesn’t matter. He won’t be on it. He can do it later but for those that don’t want to sign, there’s nothing you can do.
Not a chance.
He’s made his position clear and you’ve made yours clear.
Move on and be happy.
Keep him off it you won’t need him & your child will probably hate him for being an idiot to you. My real dad was a right arsehole to my mum I will never forgive him for it. You & your baby are worth more than being ignored by a runt like that.
Give the baby your last name. My daughter did this. You can leave the daddy part blank. Through court he’s still going to owe you baby support. Unfortunately in our case daddy stayed in prison. In prison no money. Every time he got out he’s go right back in.
One day your child will want to know their ancestry.
You can put him on the BC and not sue for child support…
You may want to see a lawyer but if you put his name on the birth certificate then doesn’t he have to help in child support?
Look into your specific state laws…as each state is different…then go from there. If he doesnt want anything to do with the baby tell him peace out and forget him…he doesnt sound worthy anyways!
You have to fill out an affidavit and have it notarized to even put him on the birth certificate being unmarried. He also has to be present and agree. You will have to file.for a paternity test and then he can be put on the birth certificate and yoy can file.for child support
Do you actually want to be tied to this azzh*le for the rest of your life?? Because once his name is on the birth certificate you are chained to him.
A birth certificate isn’t an award, it’s a legal document. Both parents should be on there.
Offer, he sounds immature anyways so probably won’t want to do it but best to offer so you’ve done your bit
I wouldn’t. My firstborn doesn’t have his father in there and it’s the best decision I every made.
Depending on the state you have to pay extra add his name on the birth certificate because your not married, I said if he doesn’t want to step up and not be a present father he doesn’t need to be shown on the certificate. You could always add him later if you guys chose to.
He has to be there yes to sign the birth certificate but even if he’s not on there, I think u can still take him to court and get paternity established and still make him pay child support, don’t let him get away with using u!
Put his name on birth certificate. Child has right to know who his father is.
I would not put him on the birth certificate file for child support and let the courts deal with him. They will either make him take a DNA test so he has to pay child support or he can terminate his own rights which will help you in the long run for getting help from the state if need be.
Just be sure he pays child support. It takes 2 to make the baby. He should not get off Scott free.
I’d name him on the birth certificate, so if there is anything medical that was passed on but if he doesn’t want the child tell him to sign over all parental rights and that be that.
Make it clean break and don’t put his name in the birth certificate and don’t pursue child support since he wants nothing to do w the child. Be forewarned though, if you apply for ANY kind of public assistance they will require you to state the father’s name and open a support claim against him (they’re going to seek support from him to offset any public assistance).
Basically what it boils down to is do you want this man in your child’s life? If you do then put it down if not then leave it blank if he really puts forth effort he can get a DNA and visits
Just cuz he’s not on the birth certificate doesn’t mean that in the future a DNA test can’t be done to prove he is the biological father & he be made to pay financially for his responsibilities tho…
A decision made now is not going to be the final one forever…I would keep him off now tho & if things change in the future, if your child wants to know who he is, if you need financial support, if he wants to be involved, if the grandparents want to be involved, what ever the scenario you can face it if & when they happen.
But for now enjoy being pregnant & preparing for being a knew mom
My wee fella is nearly 10 years old and he never asks about his biological dad and hes not on his bc because when i was pregnant he got my mate pregnant and now they are married with 3 kids
Put fathers name on certificate and go to public aid and make him pay support…if if you two can’t be human and work something out
I think your answer should be based on how you want to deal with it when baby is older and asks you.
Child support is for the child. You both made a child and you both need to support it for THEIR sake. Just because he can’t give birth doesn’t mean you’re stuck with the repercussions. Get that money for you kid not just for you.
In NZ you cannot put the father name on the birth certificate unless he gives permission
It’s hard to answer this bcuz later when the child is old enough he/she will ask the hard question who’s my dad, if you are prepared to answer it than absolutely don’t put him on the certificate. You will have to answer the question without bias bcuz you don’t want your child to feel like he/she wasn’t wanted bcuz in the end you love him/her enough for the both of you
I would say after a four week fling you probably don’t really know this guy well and what he may be capable of. I would leave it off. If anything ever comes up you can always do DNA testing to prove paternity should he want rights and you want them given. Play it safe in the meantime and protect that baby.
Depends if you are capable of raising solo. But keep his name on file case medically needed.
Child is entitled to child support and potentially to social security or other benefits. Keep the interests of the baby at the forefront of all decisions. Dad’s name on birth certificate, no matter what your “feelings” might be. Child will one day want to know plus legal documents like passport require parents names.
Put his name on and get support or have him lump sum pay you to allow him to give up parental rights . Either way he needs to pay
I would say no but you never hide who his or her father is
All these selfish comments. It is not about the mother. This is about the child. Of course she should. For medical reasons and also so the child knows who the father is if something happens to the mother.
Your child has rights too, the right to make up their own mind about him later on in life without any input from anyone. He or she has a right to their rightful last name with their right heritage.
Even if you don’t put him on the birth certificate he can still fight for rights and you’ve already given him proof to start that. By not listing a father when you know for a fact who it is, you’re only screwing yourself out of services and setting yourself up for legal trouble.
Think of the child! If you know who he is name him! Forget the child support, chances are he won’t bother you, start making demands he will, nothing more embarrassing for a child than… father unknown!
He made his own mind up by saying abort .
I wouldn’t put it on there . if later on he wants anything to do with bub he will have to go to court for Dna .
I would so your child knows who his/her father is for legal reasons, heritage, etc.
You put the fathers name on the birth certificate solely for the reason that he is the child’s father. You also file for child support.
The father must have a paternity test to be put on the birth certificate or you must be married to him.
I wouldn’t… also when I had my baby they wouldn’t allow me to put my sons dad on bc until he was back in the room he went to get food they said he has to sign paperwork