Prayers for him and for yall.
Keep checking. Someday he’ll be grateful
Never give up on him
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I’m sure you love your bonus child just as much as you love your own but think of it this way… if he were truly your own child would you ever stop reaching out? Just keep trying I know it’s discouraging not getting any type of response but at least you can say you tried and hopefully one day he’ll learn to appreciate that so much more and he’ll realize that he shouldn’t have pushed you guys away.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I reach out and check on my bonus child? - Mamas Uncut
Never stop loving and caring for your kids! But truthful I couldn’t tolerate the no response! I think it’s time for dad to sit that boy down and explain that disrespect is not something this family excepts!
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I think this goes for any parent (bio or not)… reach out to him and let him know that you love him, and that he understandably has other priorities as a teenager, but you are there when he needs you. I would even state, “We don’t want to feel like we are badgering you, so we will wait for you to reach out to us. You’re always welcome back home.” Is mom having trouble even getting him to come home? As a mom, I think that I would push my children to be with their dad at least once a month. Visits shouldn’t stop just because they’re a teenager.
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I would absolutely keep reaching out!! He definitely knows you care, but just isn’t in a place where he is ready to accept your help/encouragement/love/etc. There will be a time when he does respond, and, of course, you’ll still be right there supporting him. My thinking is once he works through everything, he WILL reach out to you because he knows you love & support him! It’s better that he knows you’ll be there, rather than him thinking it’s too late & feeling like, “Well, I can’t reach out to her because she gave up on me”. Sending positive thoughts & keeping you both in my prayers. 
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Do not stop. Keep showing him you love him and care. If you stop (especially since your husband doesnt reach out) im afraid hes going to feel abandoned. Im a bonus mom too and this is such a hard decision. My husband and I separated for 2 years and my step kids wanted nothing to do with me during that time. I refuses to give up even though it tore me apart! We thankfully got back together and my relationship with them is so much stronger than it was. Teens are hard. Being a bonus parent of a teen is harder. But no matter the age, they need to see consistency and I feel if you keep reaching out, it will show him youre there when hes ready. I could be wrong. Just my opinion
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Keep sending love and open arms. One day he may chose to walk right into them. Don’t get discouraged if he doesn’t respond. Just letting him know you and his dad are there for him regularly without judgement is huge 
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I think because of the time you have been like a parent to him, the fact that he’s not yours is not relevant. He is practically yours. I would say, do what you want your parent to do regardless of your response. Parents regardless of whether your children are young or adults forget they are still parents. So yes check up on your child. It doesn’t have to be insistent but at least text once in a while. Make a call. This is not some stranger or old friend. This is actually a child of yours. I think just the fact that you are asking means a big part of you believes that morally you should be trying. Most importantly though if contacting him distresses more than it brings any relief or peace then it’s ok to stop too.
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Please don’t stop trying to reach out. Assuming he is being told you are, he will remember that. This is such a tough age. It’s obvious that you love this kid and even if he doesn’t respond, he will know he is loved
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Keep checking, keep reaching out. In our darkest days when we can’t talk to anyone it helps to know you’re loved no matter what. It may just be that little bit left of normalcy he has left to hold onto and could help him turn around one day.
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Keep trying. Show him what unconditional love looks like. Just be there for when he is ready and keep reminding him you’re there for him.
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Never stop reaching out. He’s a teenager, lack of communication is bound to happen. Just don’t stop trying, he will always remember.
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Omg please call me I’m going through the same thing ish honestly your both doing amazing never stop reaching out he’s family and needs guidance his dad needs to step up and confront him tell him how much you all love him and give him reassurance xxxxx
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I say to keep trying. When he’s older, he may appreciate it.
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Honestly do not give up I’m quite sure he’s used to people giving up giving up on the marriage between his parents getting up on him is how he sees it well I think he needs someone else to give up on him don’t walk away
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By the way hard work being a stepmom but well worth it in the end cuz he’ll be the one that respects you the most
I would keep reaching out to him. Keep letting him know that you love him and will always be there for him no matter what. Let him know that you won’t give up on him. Even if he’s not ready right now he may be again some day and being reminded that he matters may help that along. JMO.
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I don’t think you should stop. One day he may grow out of whatever phase he is in and remember that you cared. That little bridge may make a world of difference in the future.
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You can’t make him want to talk to you. But you can show him an adult way to give him space and be ready if he changes his mind.
Please keep reaching out to him. Call. Send a card or small letter. Please dont give up on him. It sounds like your the only one he has in his corner. Please keep trying.
I’m not a fan of giving up on people, so I would keep trying. Even if it isn’t reciprocated, at least he knows that he’s loved and thought of and it’s also the path of least regret for you and your husband!
Check if you are concerned. Calling him your bones child doesn’t sound good. Maybe I have it all wrong but that praising sounds hard like you dont want to claim him to me.
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Always reach out! Always let him know you are there for him.
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Keep reaching out.
He sounds like he’s got the world on his shoulders and he’s too young to know right from wrong and how to reach back. Just keep trying and show him that no matter what he’s got you. You’re probably making a much needed impact from the act of trying than you even know.
I going threw this with my own son, because of getting in trouble he went to Dads at first he answered me every time but now it takes weeks to get him on phone, but I call and text almost daily… he knows I’m there and when he’s ready he calls or text… it’s a difficult age, so my advice is keep sending them texts about your week and asking about his end it with I love you son and leave it at that
Don’t ever give up. He may not appreciate or Show that he appreciates it now but he will someday.
I’m proud of u they still neeed all the love they can get it eventually makes them stronger and u being there he will never forget
Personally I would continue sending messages regardless if he responds or not. When he gets older and grows out of what ever he’s doing he’ll remember that you guys never stopped reaching out. I know it gets frustrating but you gotta be the adult n let him go through what he’s going through.
Don’t give up!! He will need you one day and will come back to you.
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continue to reach out, send him Birthday cards, And the let it be, When he is ready he will reach out
Don’t stop. It won’t make a difference yet, this storm will carve mountains though. He will look back and reflect at some point of maturity and will remember that you never gave up despite differences.
Never. Reach out every single day and never stop.
Don’t bother. I’m sure he’ll reach out the next time he’s locked up. Gonna need money for store.
When they are pushing you away is when they need you the most. Don’t give up on him yet.
So where is this is the child still in the same state as you and the father
Don’t ever stop. One day he will reach back.
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Please keep trying…it does matter and will eventually matter to him too!!!
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You’ll never regret reaching out but you will regret not reaching out. Even if he doesn’t reply, I’d like to think it makes him feel good to know that he’s loved. 
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Definitely dont give up on him
Never stop reaching out.
Never give up on the child. One day he’ll appreciate you were always there.
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Please don’t stop reaching out. These phases come and go and it is so important that he continues to see the effort and love on your end. Until he sets a boundary asking you to stop or cut back I think it’s in his best to continue to reach out.
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Never stop reaching out please. The worst case is hell feel completely alone when he gets older. But if you keep contacting, even if it’s just a once a month text, eventually you’ll get a text back. (good or bad)
I would invite him and his bio mom to lunch. If they don’t show you know it is bio mom freezing you oit
Keep reaching out! Every time you think about him! Keep the door open and maybe just pop in for a visit since he won’t answer messages. Sometimes kids/people want to see someone put forth the effort to show that they’re loved and cared for. Even if it’s not received well now, he will remember it one day, and who knows, it may lead him back to you both one day when he needs help or grows out of this stage.
Might not be completely relevant here, but based on the background you gave- this is a quote I keep in mind while at home with my bonus kids and boys & at work (as a teacher). No judgment and not saying he’s unloved but always a good reminder for anyone involved with children.
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Always leave your info update it … make yourself available in that aspect
One day he will call
I would always keep trying
I would keep trying.
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What’s a bonus child?
Don’t stop. Don’t enable, but don’t stop showing him that you love him.
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If he wanted you in his life, he would talk or visit. It’s that simple. I have an estranged relationship with my father and he constantly bugs me with communication that I don’t want. It’s annoying and it pushes me away further. If he wants you guys in his life, he will contact. Simply let him know that you will ALWAYS be there for him.
Always let him know he has a friend. No judgments. Just a friend.
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don’t give up on him, he will remember you always checking in
You reach out…teenagers battle things differently when he finally comes around he will know you never stopped checking in… some people stop and it just causes further damages
Keep reaching out, it lets him know that you are still there for him. As he gets older he will see how much you have tried and maybe them he will respond but don’t give up on him.
Never give up, keep on trying, reinforce that he can call you anytime he needs you and there will be no judgement passed. He will remember you never gave up on him. There are many reasons we push people away - shame, guilt, feeling not good enough etc. Teens often respond better to texts. Even a nice text he will maybe keep and look at that reiterates you’re there for him. Keep going, it’s tough! Xo
If you really cared about him, to stop trying would not be an option.
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So he was getting in troube so that is when you decided to let him go? He probably feels rejected and abandoned to some degree. Sounds like mom’s house was not good for him and not in his best interest in the long run. There is probably a lot of repairing and healing needed, but that will need to be done on his terms🤷🏻♀️
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I would. It doesn’t have to be bothersome. Just keep up with things like thinking of you, miss you, if you ever need anything I’m here, hope things are going good etc.
Don’t stop. Hopefully one day this may be just what his troubled self might need. You just never know. Your good will not be wasted on trying. There are times when we need to let go but not when it’s a child!! It does take a village. 
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Don’t give up ,he needs to know you love him no matter what, his a kid ATM he will grown up ,most teenagers only want you when they are in trouble or they need money ,but they soon grown up and start behaviouring normal again
Keep checking. Never stop. I wish my bonus mom had done that when I was sent to live with my bio mom. When she did, it wasnt often enough for me to be honest with her. My 3rd week there and wanting to go “home” I was told my " bonus mom" didnt really want me there. So whenever she asked, I would lie and say I was fine where I was. I was not fine… Not even close. The daily abuse I was subjected to would have put them in prison if I had been brave enough to disclose.
Never stop trying because eventually it may save a life and because no matter what he will always know that somebody made an effort.
Keep doing what your doing…at least he knows u love him n are not going to give up on him.
If he’s contacting u when he away but not when he back with mum…maybe mum is stopping him. (Maybe)
Hopefully he’s getting your messages n knows your always gonna b there if and when needed xx
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Reach out to him and let him know you care. He may not seem to care when you do but it will make a difference. He will appreciate it when he becomes and adult as well.
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Don’t give up keep showing him you care
Teens are complicated. Teens who get in trouble to the point of detention are even more complicated. Don’t blow up his phone, but send regular “reach out” texts on behalf of yourself and his dad. Keep the communication lines open, but don’t try to drag him into conversations.
Be stable for him. Pick a day to send the messages. Maybe once a week or once a month? That way he will always know that he can depend in that message at that time, and feel like he has something that will always be that way.
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Never stop reaching out . Even if the child doesn’t respond, he will know he is loved by you and may one day come
Around . I wish his dad would do the same . Unconditional love
Reach out occasionally to let him no u still care and r there for him. Rest is up to him. Dont try to “buy” back his attention or love, just makes them more ungrateful.
All you can do now is just be there if he needs you. No matter what that’s love. Good luck
Never never never stop trying!!! It makes a difference to them even if they don’t show it. You will one day reap the benefits of never giving up.
Keep reaching out. Let him know he is still loved and never forgotten. Never stop showing him that you care. When he gets older he will reach out
Never give up, just keep saying you are always there, the door is always open
No, do not stop. Continue to show him that your love and presence is consistent because he will deeply appreciate that one day, even if right now it seems he couldnt care less.
Don’t be a doormat but don’t stop showing the kid you love him. Write him a letter on how you feel about him and how his behavior is making you feel. There is something about receiving a letter that makes what is inside sink in.
Bonus child. As in you can live with or without it. Fuck um. Let them go.
i would always keep the door open and periodically let him know I care and if and when he’s ready to turn his life around I would hope that he comes to me.
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I would say continue reaching out even if he doesn’t respond if you guys haven’t had communication with him who knows what he’s going through even if they aren’t the best choices I believe it’s good he knows he still has someone in his corner and that you are there for him.
Keep reaching out. Obviously this young man has been through alot and is hurting. He might not have the maturity now to appreciate your love and concern, but one day he might. When he does, he’ll remember that you cared enough when he was a child to reach out repeatedly. Sometimes adults don’t know what’s best for them, a child even less
I was a very troubled teen I didn’t have a good family life and spent most of my life in care it always hurt the most that everyone who said they loved me and cared gave up on me… please don’t give up he may not respond but at least he knows you are there and that you care x
I wouldn’t give up. It may take him a long time to come around, but knowing you were there no matter what is reassuring and shows trust and love.
Just here to say I was that troubled kid parents stopped reaching out too and you should keep going. He will appreciate you one day
Continue to reach out and let him know he still matters. It is hard when you get no response, but he will at least know that someone genuinely cares and doesn’t want anything in return.
Keep reaching out…every week even without getting a response…he will know you’ve tried and when he’s ready he will reach back out…do not give up he needs love and it will be worth it
I’ll add to let your husband (the dad) know to not stop. Speaking from experience the son will find it hard to forgive. Kids are difficult but a parent should never give up on their kids, or put it on them to reach out. Keep that door open.
Never stop reaching out. He’s a troubled teen now but that doesn’t mean he always will be.
I would say, as frustrating as it must be, don’t stop. One day he may need someone and he’ll know that you never gave up. <3
Dont stop…that will just makr the kid think oh they dont care but iff you keep on they will see that even though they didnt answer you you sgill loved them enough to check on them.
Please don’t stop. No matter if he don’t answer you. Jut let him know your there for him when and if he needs you. Tough love is hard.
Don’t stop, add inspirational messages every few days. He is probably reading your texts just give hope and a place to go when he comes out of his funk.
Sounds like drugs are involved. Don’t give up on them. Keep trying. Never stop.
You’re a good mom. Keep reaching out for him. Let him know you still care and you’ll always be there for him. Maybe one day he will come around and start appreciating your love.
Never give up, he’ll reply when he’s readyxx
Try reaching out with different things like “I was just watering the lawn and started to laugh remembering when you were 8 and got soaked when the sprinklers turned on while you were playing; thanks for the smile today”. It doesn’t have to be anything overt to show you are thinking of and living him. Good luck!
Never give up, he may not answer for many reasons be he will always know you love and care for him
Just send a letter to him telling him your their if he needs or wants to be part of his life then let him decide
Keep letting him know you’re there and you love him no matter what, and you’re always ready anytime he wants or needs someone to talk to. Unless he blocks you or tells you to leave him alone, don’t.
That’s one thing I wish my mom would have done when I was younger and pushing her away.