No. Don’t give up…whether he acknowledges it or not…he will always know he is loved 
"my opinion only "
Never stop. Kids need to know they have at least one significant adult in their lives that they could reach out to if needed. Be that person. 
Keep reaching out. Even if he doesn’t respond right now, he will eventually. He will remember that you are there for him. When he is 30 he will remember.
I am only saying this because I’ve been through a similar thing myself but on the other side. Not so much in my teen years but early 20s not much difference. Anyways, I’m just throwing this out there but maybe he is possibly using drugs & I only say as a possibility because it is common for people to stay away from family, or friends that do not have anything to do with drug life especially if they know something like that is not accepted of course. Avoiding anyone outside of that lifestyle is how that goes & again, I’m just saying it could be maybe possible in what is going on but hopefully that’s not the issue!. I would definitely keep trying to reach out though no matter what the situation is because that is showing & giving unconditional love above anything else. I am almost positive he will be thanking & appreciating you guys for it down the road. Never give up & always let it be known that the love & care is there no matter what. Good luck to you all & hoping things get better.
He sounds like hes really having a lot of big feelings and going through some stuff. I wouldnt give up. Keep reaching out every now and then just have low expectations so you arent disappointed so much if he doesn’t respond. Send bday and holiday presents with a note reminding him that you love him and miss him.
The kid is old enough to decide! All you can do is sit back and wait! He will come round at some point!
Please don’t give up on this child. Keep reaching out even if it is not reciprocated.
Never stop. One day he might decide to respond and it lets him know that he’s never alone.
Keep reaching out and let him know you love him and are still there
5 Likes
Basically from what I interpreted from reading this was you all probably enforced rules and bio mom doesn’t. He called you all in JDC because maybe he was hoping you all would try to help? Did you all? Like put money on his books or whatever? Or he may have been really just wanting to talk. I don’t know. But then when he gets out he goes back to his moms and doesn’t answer because as I said before, does she let him basically do what he wants when he wants?
I feel you should continue reaching out, but, i also feel, your husband needs to continue reaching out as well.
This was me as a kid. I felt more comfortable coming around when my mom would text me small text sayings “Thinking about you heavily today” or “would love to grab lunch together” “miss your face” etc. even tho at the time I never responded back.
Dad needs to try harder. See about a trip or something. Always show you care.
Wow this helps so much! I’m putting my carrear dreams on hold to raise my kids. I’m giving up thousands of dollars for it. I know no amount of money can buy they time I spend with them. I’m so grateful for this post
I’d step back an let him do his thing. Just be there for him when he needs you two to be! At this point it sounds like really that’s all you can do!
Don’t ever give up… A mother never gives up on their child. May that child be the best or the worst. A mommas love is or should be eternal.
Would u want someone to give up on you if you where being difficult?
2 Likes
My oldest son doesn’t always answer calls/texts/invites. It hurts me a lot but I continue to reach out anyway. I always want him to know I’m thinking of him and am just an answer away. Consistently means everything. Don’t give up.
Teens and even into the early 20’s will “test” you. I think it’s really shitty that your husband has given up on his son. Your bonus child is most likely feeling angry with and rejected by his father and then projecting that onto you.
You continually reaching out is the only way you or your husband will be able to one day be back in his life. Please remember that the brain is not fully formed until 21, and that people don’t have a decent amount of experience using that brain/reprocessing old memories with that brain until around 24-25.
Continue reaching out until he’s 25. At that point, if it’s too much and he still won’t respond, then stop.
I would continue to reach out if it was my bonus daughter. But I would do it maybe once or twice a week. And each time you do, if it’s through text, I would I would put that you are always there if he needs to talk no matter the day or time of day, even if it is just through him sending you a text. But if you call just say 2 times a week jt doesn’t mean you can’t text him more and just say that you were thinking of him and that you miss him.
But also, I would stay in touch with his bio mother about him too.
Keep reaching out❤️ Maybe even just in the form of note cards with a I’m thinking if you and I love you. Have no expectations of a response but you will know he gets the card and will know he is not alone when things get dark❤️
Do a weekly check. Or send a pic of something that reminds you of him and say, so glad I got to think of you and smile.
He will come around. It’s the age.
Don’t give up on him. Keeping doing what God is telling you to do… check on him!
4 Likes
What would you do if he was your bio child? Answer that and then choose that.
Keep reaching out
It doesn’t have to be lengthy: we love you, we miss you, & we hope you’re okay. We’re here.
3 Likes
You can lead a horse to the water. But you can’t force him to drink it.
Keep doing it! One day he’ll be thankful to know you cared so much!
1 Like
Keep reaching out. He’ll be grateful for it one day
2 Likes
Who pays for his phone? No way I’m paying the bill and they get away with not answering it ever 
Leave the door open for him to come around if he wants, but I think you need to protect your feelings too and take a big step back for now 
2 Likes
Keep reaching out
One day he may need to talk and will be happy you are there
2 Likes
Pray for him that whatever is going on is fixed. And God will bring him back home to you guys. All the best love
Just keep sending those messages so he will know y’all haven’t given up and do still love him
1 Like
Keep sending him messages. Don’t expect one in return. He reads them, he knows your there. Be there for him. Even if he doesn’t respond
Yes continue. Because at least he knows you care.
Keep reaching out show him u will never give up on him that he is worth the fight. Tell him what he means to u x
Continue to reach out. One day he will respond. Always let him know you’re there for him.
Keep reaching out never give up he may need you some day but dont be so hard on yourself
Just send him messages like, “love you kid. Miss you.”
Short and sweet so ur not getting so hurt and hes also being given space to be himself.
Never give up I know it’s frustrating but at least he’ll know you cared and tired
Don’t stop. He needs to know you and his father are there if he needs you.
1 Like
#1 You called the real Mother, “Bio Mom!”
#2 He is NOT your child. It is non of your business!
1 Like
I do daily.i may get an answer i may not.Dont care.he knows iam here if he needs something.
Don’t ever stop, even if you just text him telling him you love him
Never stop reaching out!! Never stop caring
1 Like
You are a good momma! Don’t even give up on him. Keep reaching out!
Keep trying. He is a teenager who has a lot of growing to do. He will be ok.
Never give up on a child
Keep checking on him let him know your still available to him
Never stop reaching out.
1 Like
I needed this entire comment section 
not my post but I’m being pushed into a similar boat…
I was much the same with my mom when I was in my teens. She resorted to sending cards/letters on holidays and my birthday, letting me know she loves me. Then, when I finally realized I needed her, I knew the door was still open because she kept that small amount of contact consistent.
Text him on holidays and his birthday. Let him know you love him and are thinking about it. Leave it at that. When he is ready to open up more, he will.
2 Likes
Sounds like he’s going through a lot. Hopefully he’ll come around and you/ your husband can be a soft landing for him.
2 Likes
Never stop. He’s going to look back on it and be like “see? They didn’t care about me.” if you keep the line and door open he will either eventually come around or still stay distant but what wouldn’t change is you continuing to show him you are there if you are needed. He’s a troubled young man right now and for all you know it’s the bio mom’s doing that he’s not in contact. You don’t know what’s going on there.
Just continue to show you love him and you will be there for him. Sometimes whether he wants it or not.
1 Like
Never stop reaching out no matter what.
Don’t ever give up on him!
No keep trying , because he probably already feels lost and alone if u stop trying he’ll just believe he is alone and you’ll never get him to come back around, its hard but it sounds like he needs alot of support and love
I’d say keep reaching out. It’s important for young people to have someone in their life that never gives up on them. I’ve definitely had times where I pushed the adults who cared about me away when I was younger, and when their love and concern never wavers even when you’re not at your best, it makes a huge impact on you.
My dad called me every single day. At that age id reject his calls all the time. Now that he’s not with us anymore I miss those calls more than ever. Its an age thing forsure.
This is the dumbest question I’ve read to date
You should both continue to reach out, no matter how frustrating, to let him know y’all are still available to him and you still care
Special occasions birthdays etc. Continue to let him know you love him and youre there if he needs you. He will eventually grow up and come back. Just don’t give up.
Tough situation, but I’d continue to reach out and send cards/letters. One day he will grow up and realize you never gave up. Or he might be in a really bad situation one day and need you. He needs to know that you are there for him, no questions asked, if he really needs you.
Keep planting the seeds that you care but don’t make extreme effort until he shows he is willing to receive it.
1 Like
He needs the affirmation and reassurance of your love and support. When everyone else is against him you are his constant. It may not feel like it now but one day he will be able to tell you how much it meant. He is young, clearly troubled, and the product of a broken home - and a pretty absent bio mother. A lot if hard lessons already in his young life. There will be shame and a lack of ability to respond in an adult manner. Because he isn’t one. Keep being there. I was that person for my stepdaughter. Until we lost contact when she was 14 thanks to her dad. (my ex) Now, at 30, she has found me and we are so close. I have three extra grandchildren! She never stops saying I was a light in an otherwise bleak place, and I am so glad I persisted with letters etc. I had no idea but her mother was an addict. She suffered depression and could not find it in herself to maintain contact and respond. I also thought it was futile at one point, but I am living proof it isn’t. Keep doing it. He needs you.
never give up…it will only add more space, and someday he will really want to re-connect. keep sending encouraging messages, dont be angry at him. he’ll come back around if you let him know you still love him and the path is clear to your door and your door is always open.
1 Like
Keep doing what you’re doing. Eventually he will mature and come around.
He’s a child, you are the parents, it’s your job to reach out.
Your husband should be the one reaching out…
Keep checking on him. Please don’t wait to tell him he matters to you. Kids need to hear that from adults.
3 Likes
Keep trying everybody need to feel that somebody in their life is fighting for them:100:
1 Like
Well, just don’t go to far with contacting him, because then trouble may start coming to your house.
Never stop trying. My stepson never wanted to stay with us or make his relationship work with his dad. Well fast forward, his mom abandons him with a stranger and goes to California for a guy. Eventually she loses interest in wanting her kids back. Unfortunately she refused to communicate with what was going on and we had to file a missing juvenile report. It was enough for him to want to come 
home. He is happy and celebrating his birthday today
Unconditional love is The greatest gift you can give. You never know when that seed will finally breakthrough that hardened heart.
Keep reaching out & I would encourage the dad to do so, as well. He’s a kid. As much as it sucks & he should put in effort, it’s not his responsibility to maintain a relationship. Even though it feels defeating getting nothing in return, if you stop he may just see it as someone else giving up on him.
1 Like
Keep reaching out it will mean something to him some day he wasnt gave up on …coming from someone who was a troubled teen and did alot of bad things to get attention even if it was the wrong attention
1 Like
Never give up on your children. Never stop trying. Even if they don’t respond, they’re seeing and reading your messages and maybe your words aren’t sinking in right now, but in the past when they look back, they’ll remember that even when they were a little teenage asshole, their mother still loved them through it and gave them her best!
And definitely encourage his dad to start again even if he doesnt get a reply he will know he is loved by him
He knows where you are when he is ready to reach out. He is in a really impulsive and emotional age, but don’t take his silence to mean he does not notice your love. Keep doing what you are doing Mama. This too shall pass, and he will grow up and mature.
Keep reaching out to him. Knowing that he is loved, even when he is not being lovable may be the difference in how his life eventually goes. Love always makes the difference.
Keep trying dont stop…or he will notice and itll hurt…sounds to me like hes probably just busy running around causing trouble with his friends…priorities arent there yet but hell grow up hopefully
If you’ve already reached out and not had any response… Personally I would step back for a while.
The child is most likely (and rightly so) thinking that it’s his actual dad that should be contacting him and trying to connect with him. (Teen life is tough without this added into the mix. Teens are working things out. Who they are. What they stand for etc. Boundaries. Everything. Maybe the bio Mum has bad mouthed you too. Blamed you. Saying things like “why isn’t your dad contacting you? He never cared etc”
Dad should reach out. If he cares of course.
Regardless I want to say Good for you at you have tried… one day when he is an adult he will remember that! Trust me xxx
Since you been in his life since he was 6, I wouldn’t give up on him. He’s basically like one of your own children, and you would never give up on your biological child so I think you should just be available to him if he does decide he wants a relationship
My stepson hates my husband. They got divorced when he was 12 or 13. He got with me right away and hasn’t spoken to him in years. The mom HATES ME and says I’m like stalking her if I reach out. I tried to keep them talking. Oh and my husband adopted him at like 6 months old
Don’t stop!!! He is a kid struggling!! And in a few years he will come around. He will tell you at some point in the future how much it meant to him that you continued to try. Kids are damaged and it’s hard so please just keep showing up! Don’t take it personal, just keep it up
1 Like
Maaaaaaaaaaaan, all these comments have me tearing up. Gives me a little extra faith to see so many that wouldn’t and don’t give up on kids.
Any one of yall looking to adopt a 30 year old daughter? I’m married and have a house and all that, I just want a supportive mom that gives a shit. 
Keep reaching out even if there’s no reply: one day when he needs someone you’ll be the one he knows he can count on, even if it’s a few years from now.
Is it possible bio mom isn’t allowing it? Is she possibly trying to “poison him” against you & dad? Are you sure he’s even receiving the messages & such? Seems like he wants to communicate but maybe there are other factors at play idk
I’d step back … let him come to you when he is ready xx
Never stop reaching out. Always leave the porch light on.
Remember the story of The prodigal son?
I would open communication w a card, a thoughtful gift , asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer
Keep reaching out. You’ll never live with doubt or regret, it’s on him if he doesnt respond
It’s ok to send a text like I love you I hope all is we’ll tell door is always open for you we are here for if you need us.
Keep letting him know you care
Always keep trying
Always keep trying.
Continue to check in
Keep doing it. He will realize
Say a prayer for him and let him be
Don’t stop! It could make all the difference one day.
1 Like