Hello! So, my sons biological Mother has never really been very involved in my sons life despite my husband’s efforts to involve her. That being said, her parents and family are AMAZING. We spend whole weekends at my son’s grandparent’s house. They treat mine and my husbands biological child that isn’t related to them like he’s just another one of the grandkids and I cherish those people so much and I am SO GLAD that my son has them in his life. Now I know that not everyone will have an experience like that, but what I am saying is that we have made sure they have had the opportunity to be in our son’s life and they have been so grateful for it. It’s worth a shot. Worst case is they say no and you at least tried! Also what I’m saying is that you don’t have to force a relationship with the father in order to have a good one with his family. (I’m aware not everyone is so nice though and they could be just as awful, but you won’t know until you try!)
Simple yes!! Always reach out and well if they say no move on!
I reached out to my childs family and her Grandfather was thrilled and had contact with her until he died… her father was a waste of space.
Kids need family … if they dont want to know her? Adopt some grandparents. There are so many older people out there who never see their grandkids.
They would love to have adopted ones. You can police check them and I’m sure 5here are volunteer organizations that match kids with adopted grand parent…
so you two options, reach out and see what happens or adopt a grandparent .
Either way someone will reach back .
Did I just read that you were not expecting him to pay child support but then got on government assistance And now you are pregnant again. And you think your biggest problem is dragging a family that wants nothing to do with your son into his life you’ve got to be fucking kidding me
So when I got pregnant 16 years ago. Do you poorly made decisions their were two possible father’s. I contacted both and left it to them if they had any interest in the child.
With answer from either, by word of mouth I had heard where one of the man’s family was. I proceed to inform possible father A family I was pregnant and all I wanted was a DNA test, and if his father (A’s dad) was willing to test just to prove or disprove the DNA. Possible A’s dad went and found him picked him up, brought him to the testing place and said the least you and do you jurk is tell me if I’m a grandparent. I was lucky! Father A Dad loved me and my son from the word go. We did find out the he wasn’t my child’s father but I was never turned away and the family loves us to this day. Bio father was found. Still wanted nothing to do with my child. Which was fine.
Theirs state DNA offices which will fight for you with out you needing to do anything. But if you feel you need to have a test done. You can ask a family member to do a DNA test. They will be able to tell even not being an 99.9% match it will show some form of % if they match in some way.
Good luck!!
But DNA doesn’t make a daddy or mommy. A true mommy and daddy it made from loving a child with your entire heart. Sometimes water is better and stronger than blood. (Coming from a mother with 1 bio and 4 bonus children and 1 star child ( star child is a child that is neither parent in the home. Foster child))
Always get child support whether you need it or not. Your child is entitled to it. If you’re too proud to take it, then put it in an account for when the child’s older.
As far as involving the family, that’s a personal choice. Does your fiance plan on adopting your older child as his own??
You’re not the first or the last to have a one night stand.
Would I reach out to the family? If I was pregnant no, it’s more added stress.
By the sounds of it, you have had enough drama in your life. Don’t worry about father or his family and just worry about the family you have now.
You don’t have to force anyone for anything they don’t want to have anything to do with, why not just ask your fiancé now to adopt that child of yours and form a family together. Talk to him, if your fiancé loves you he would surely agree. Your son is only a year old it is good for him to have a complete and loving family of his own.Do your best to be a good wife and a loving mother to your babies. Good luck to you and happiness to your family.
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Let it go your guy will be his daddy live in peace and your son and your guy start fresh
I was in a similar position when I was pregnant with my son, me and his dad split up before I found out I was pregnant, he was very inconsistent, never came to appointments and let me down all the time. I knew his mum’s name and almost messaged her to let her know. He did eventually come to a scan and I met his mum.
I would do it, he may have not told them about your son and as much as they deserve to know they have a grandchild/nephew your son also deserves to know his grandparents and possible aunts and uncles
A DNA test needs to be done as the other family will have doubts and depending on the country the courts can force the father to do one. After that’s all said and done I’d personally reach out and just explain, I understand the father doesn’t want to know his son but I wanted to give you guys the opportunity to know him. Then the balls in their court and you can explain to your son you tried
I have guardianship of my great-nephew. I’ve had him since he was 9 months old and he is now 8. I’ve reached out to his mother so many times through the years because regardless of the circumstances I didn’t want my son (my great-nephew) to miss out on that relationship. I never met his bio dad but make sure his family has my contact info and I’ve made it clear he is allowed to contact me about his son.
After years of being disappointed I just gave up. I explain to my son in 8 year old terms how he ended up with me as his mom. I tell him that his parents loved him so so so so much but just could not take care of him. I never speak bad of them. My husband and I are his mom and dad. I realized it is better for all of us if I didnt try to force those relationships. The lines of communication are open and they know that. It’s up to them to use them.
For your child’s sake,leave it alone for now,he sounds like a flake and would only end up hurting your child. My opinion he is an idiot who hasn’t grown up yet!
Focus on your present. Your past wants nothing to do with your present.
First of all, why are you being bossed around lile a child? He doesn’t want you talking to your son’s father? Who is he to make that decision??? Do you have no backbone? Your fiance is the only one who can talk to him? Wow. Girl, I am saying this because you need to hear it: please don’t let men run you like that. Do not feel bad about filing child support!! That is his responsibility.
I personally would leave it alone. You AND your child just may be better off. If it was a one night stand. You don’t know much about him or his family. You’ll be better off leaving it alone. He doesn’t want his child obviously. Pushing him on him might end up turning out to be horrible for your son.
I would want to know if I had a grandchild out there, just saying…But I’m only thinking as a grandparent…As a mom, I would figure out all of this before you get into any new relationships. That’s just me, idk about everyone else
My daughter’s biological father is a man I had known for over 20 yrs and we were living together when I became pregnant. He chose not to be a father. I did reach out to his family and they didn’t want to be in her life either. Their loss. Let DSS handle the child support and DNA test. You have no reason to keep reaching out to this guy. Your boyfriend is controlling and because of your history with abusive men, it concerns me that he is also abusive. Forget baby daddy and get yourself into counseling asap.
First off this is NOT your fiance’ to interfere in. You have a bit of a mess but pursue the child support, even if it means going to court (you can bank the money for his college tuition). If it goes before a judge he can order him to do DNA and pay support, and hopefully set up visitation. As far as his family goes, that is their decision, nothing you can do on that. I’m guessing none of them want anything to do with your child, which is sad and their loss. Best you can do is not talk bad about them but be honest if he asks when he’s older. The less you discuss it in front of him the less interested he’ll be in the future. Some people think if they ignore something it will go away, usually it sneaks up and bites them in the ass. Move on with life, you have another baby coming and should be happy about that and Congrats! Good Luck
I wouldnt necessarily reach out to his family, at least not til DNA test done. They honestly may b like him and not want anything to do with ur son. Not knowing his family makes this decision even harder. I also think that u should b the one talking to him. Dont do it behind ur fiance’s back but it does need to come from u
Girl u can’t make no Nigga b there that don’t want to b fuck him raise ya son & live ya best life with no regrets. Been there done that no looking back it is wat it is. Look at ya baby you’re BLESSED soooooooo
A child can never have too many loving family and friends! Do it. The worst thing they can say is no, and we have all already heard that word a time or two!
Girl, this FUCKERY, you are hooked on the baby daddy. Your inability to leave him alone is obvious. Leave his family alone(are you psychotic.)You’re on public assistance and dont know what planned parenthood is? Birth control you needed, and condoms. There are things you can catch from all that raw dogging. You are worrying about the wrong things.
Let it go speaking from experience
Tell the parents I’d want to know if I had a grand baby I’d be very present
Talking from experience sister just take care of your child and let him decide when he’s older the father’s family will always support their own not u so if he’s not interested they won’t be be strong and be the boy’s father and mother