Should I reject unwanted money?

All these mums on here “that’s not your money”, the question isn’t about her lack of money or how to get more.

Best bet is to speak to a lawyer, to me, it sounds like abandonment but if he is on her birth certificate, I think you still need his signature to go ahead with it but I don’t know for sure.

Happy you have found someone for you and your daughter :heart:

Take the money put in a account for the child it’s her money not yours

Take the money. Create an account just for her that she can access when she is legally allowed. At that age you can also explain, when she sees the pathetic amount she will also make her choices about the man (or lack there is) he is.

Why do you all keep saying it’s “her money” like it’s a child’s allowance, no it’s not, that is not what child support is. It’s to help take care of the child, not to pay the child. Good lord! Do I think it is a good idea to save it for her, yes… but that is not what it’s meant for.

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Save it for her future don’t hold
On to those feelings it’s in the past I’m sure she will need things as she gets older and it’s hard making a living.I barely get help and any help would be great …

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Like the others have said, put it into an account for her when she turns 18. She’ll know who was there and who wasn’t. Let her make up her own mind about her dad.

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It’s your daughter’s money, not yours. It wouldn’t be a smart move to reject it. Stow it away for her future so she can have at least a bit of a head start.

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I’d ignore the letters

Look at it this way what if your child wants to go to college and college is not cheap this is her money it was supposed to be given to you to help raise her clothes are feeder buy her a few extras and you got along without needing that money okay put it away for college she benefits and isn’t that the main thing

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Take the money and put it savings for her college education - - -

From the original question asker… I just want to say Thank you for all the comments
Also my daughter is well aware that the man in her life if not her dad, she has asked questions about her bio dad for years and has always been told that adults make choices and decisions some good and some bad and he chose that he wasn’t ready to be a daddy, although far from the truth he was a vile man that not only tried to cut the brakes on my car to “finish me and his daughter” but after a car crash he held a gathering to morn his dead daughter “that was alive and well I’ll add”
He left us with absolutely nothing wouldn’t Evan let me have her cot or clothes
So when I say we don’t need his money I mean we have struggled to get wear we are today, she has a savings account that I provide as her parent, she has everything because I provided that not to mention to stability love and care every child deserves,
My daughter also knows that when she is older I know she will have questions I cannot answer and I will help her to find him,
My partner has been in her life for 3years and also provides her with everything she needs and has shown nothing but love and he him self answers questions she sometimes has,
I posted to see what others have done and if me sat hear worrying that a stranger because that is what he is will come and take my daughter and there’s nothing I can do,
Adoption is something my daughter has asked my partner for in her words “when you and mummy get married will you be my real daddy and I can have your name” bio dad let me change her name to my surname not long after we split

After years of abuse and abandonment not just to me but my daughter I don’t want her first car or collage fund coming from someone that showed no interest in her up bringing, when asking how did I get this money I don’t want her sitting there thinking o I wasn’t good enough to visit but you want to throw money at me!
Non of this is for me, like said I just don’t want him trying to control our life 4 years later when we are all so happy,
I never stopped contact because I wanted my daughter to have a dad and for her to make her own mind up “I have my opinion” and I know she needs to make her own

I just want to keep her safe happy and stable

Thank you for all the comments I appreciate it

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Talk to a family lawyer. They might be able to give you better answers to what you can or can’t do about it :woman_shrugging:

He’s a multimillionaire and no one knows and you haven’t taken him for any help? Really? This sounds extremely fake :neutral_face:

Child support is exactly how it sounds… it’s to help support your child. Whether that’s using it for bills, food, gas to make sure u can take them where they need to go. It’s basically making the absent parent do their part even though they’re not physically there. Take the money. Itll help. Dont even think twice about it.

In the state of Texas my ex was only court ordered to pay hundred dollars a month for my two children out of 18 years of life I got $50 and he gave it to me in person did not send it to the attorney general. I was very honest with my children as to what my ex did. they knew how he was and when my my oldest son turned 18 the support went down to $50 a month for one child and he didn’t pay one red cent of that. My children were 8-10 when we separated for Good. I would have used every bit of child support for my children had he sent it, but he was a selfish person.

I tried to reject mine. Human services forced me to take it, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten my full payments.

If you don’t need it to feed,or cloths or for her schooling ,put it into account, then she can see what a tight arse he is, you should go to a solicitor to see about adoption

Put it in trust for your daughter and let her decide when she’s old enough

£8 a week? That’s not even enough to do anything with. That’s just insane. If he’s a millionaire why haven’t you taken him to court for your daughter?

Isn’t 8 pounds like maybe 20 bucks?

Your daughter isn’t going to grow up owing him anything :roll_eyes:
If you’re truly not going to use it, save it. Donate it. Take what you see as unwanted and useless and put it to good use. Make it useful.
It’s not your daughters money. Ignore the imbeciles claiming it is.

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Depends on your state in Indiana if it’s over a year no physical contact ot child support it’s abondment and your husband (have to be married) can ask to adopt and the judge will decide to either terminate rights to bio dad and let adoption happen or it could back fire and he’ll be made to pay the support and also get visitation.
Seek legal advice