I am now engaged with another baby and life is amazing, my daughter adores the man in her life and after the wedding we were hoping to look into adoption, will him paying £8 a week put a spanner in the works as at the minute I don’t Evan know wear he lives or have his number but is money classed as some sort of contact (so Ild have to go threw court with him for adoption) as befor hand from what Iv read it would be classed as abandonment…. I’m just so worried that he’s going to come for my daughter,
( just so I don’t sound horrid when we spilt I told him he could see her as often as he likes and wouldn’t of stopped contact, he got married and chose not to have his kids “he has 3 all together and doesn’t see any”
Is this his claim to my daughter? How can I reject unwanted money?
Thankyou
Don’t ask facebook, hire an attorney. You’re going to need one anyway.
Don’t reject the money. Open a saving account for the money to go to for her in the future.
Take the money and move on. Save it for college. Better late then never.
Take the money and put it in savings for school.
Invest the money in your daughter’s behalf for her future.
He probably did it so you couldn’t go for adoption. It’s his way of being in control.
Hire an attorney for this
That may be owed money however I would file adoption and u probably should have already because it is I think 6months no contact is abandonment and she is 4 so huh if anything maybe he is just trying to give u some money and he doesn’t want anything to do with her still !! Shit have your fiance call him and find out
He might be trying to get split custody or visitation, any man that I know that does this , that’s their next step, I advise you get a family attorney they’ll make sure the correct steps are taken , (side not) I raised my 2 oldest by myself 20/19 their father was not around, but I let him see them whenever he popped up because I wanted my kids to see the person he was rest his soul!! Let your child find out herself the parent he is!!
Seek legal help. Facebook isn’t the place for that.
Throw it in a savings account and go file properly to have him removed from “parental rights”. Sounds like he doesn’t care anyway.
Or file for proper CS amounts and still throw it in her savings🤷🏻♀️
Set in up for her in the bank for when she gets older their is no need for a thank you later as she gets older
You might not want the money an that’s all good. However what you should do is put that money into a savings account for her. That way when she graduates she will have money…she will be able to get a car an help her self get the things she needs as an adult in life. An who knows it might even be able to put her threw college. Sometimes we don’t think about the bigger picture. We just think about the now… I truly understand your reasoning… However there is always more to life. Set that money up in account for her an let it sit until she graduates an give it to her as a graduation gift.
It may seem like a little bit, but it into a savings account and give it to her when she’s an adult. I know in certain states in the US, someone can’t adopt a child unless the other parent signs rights over
If that’s the case the take it to court and they will make him pay what they see is fit, put all the money away for her and let her decide when she’s old enough what to do with it. The $8 a week she would have about 5k saved by time she’s 18 assuming he keeps paying that Amt
Hes trying to sneak back into her life…and get visitation…put his lousy 8£into a bank acc for whens older but see a lawyer before the trouble starts
Why would she have to thank him tho
It depends on ur state. In iowa child support doesnt count as involvement…u can have abandonment even if they pay child support monthly.
This sounds like it might get messy. I would contact a lawyer even if you grab a “free consultation” if available where you are. Honestly though I feel deep down inside you know and I feel I need to say it. IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM even with the $8 a week no matter how old should your daughter feel obligated to thank a man that was never really there.no matter what you do just do it legally. Good luck mama! Wish you all the best!
How is he a multi millionaire and not known? I means most millionaires don’t just dissappear like that. And just because he is paying doesn’t mean he wants the kid could mean he just wants to pay you (so you leave him alone) and leave things the way they are. Also your boyfriend can’t adopt her if her father signed anything at birth unless he is willing to sign rights over now. Which means the money stops and your boyfriend is paying for college a car everything.
take it and save it all… when she turns 18 take her on the vacation of her life
Put the money in a savings account and don’t even bother telling your daughter about it
You need a custody lawyer. My bet is he somehow knows what you’re up to and it’s his way of controlling your life. I am in America and judging by your currency I know laws are different there, so I don’t even have any real advice other than find a lawyer that does custody situations.
Put all of the money in a savings account and when she is 16 or 18. Give it to her.
Put the money in an account for her, let her buy her first car, college or a down payment on a house.
He’s still trying to control you smh… what a jerk
This is another way to control you. Put the money in an envelope and give it to your daughter on her 18th. Or same envelope but give it back to him in front of the judge
Just never use it. And when she is older if she ask say oh yeah here is the $200 that he sent over 18yrs time.
I would tell him to shove his money where the sun don’t shine… 8 pound a week lol makes me angry
Its for your child not you…let her spend it or save it but dont let him keep entering her life coz it will ruin her long term relationship with him
Any lawyers in here? No ok. Go see a professional.
Put that money in a savings account for her. If he comes for you, you have lawyer money.if not your daughter has a savings
Take it and put it into an account for the child and let it add up so the child has it.
Keep it and put it back into an account for her. She can get a car or help with school later on.
Don’t reject it. Put it in a savings account for your daughter. Even if he hasn’t had anything to do with her or support her, he IS still her father. One day when she’s older she may want to connect with him but until then there’s no reason to not accept the money. It’ll probably come in handy for her at some point. Don’t do something that you’ll regret later.
If he pays you he can come get the kid. Don’t do it. I have a friend who is going through the same. As long as you take the money he can do whatever and take it see the kid.
Leave the money in an account for her to use for higher education or something when she becomes an adult.
That disgusting 8 dollars what the hell does that cover not even lunch
I see where your coming from 2 little 2 late for him however she is only 4 and plenty of time to bond yes it will hurt ur partner … but the other side of that is would u feel the same if u didn’t have a partner and another child …
Why not put the money in a savings account and give it to her when she reaches adulthood.
Also, I have no idea how 8 pounds equates to US dollars.
I put all money he gives me into an envelope and send back at end of year. I don’t say anything.
Do the same but give to her when she’s 18 or ppen a bank account and put in the $8 every week. I think a judge would find this laughable.
put it in the bank for her
Too bad you didn’t file for abandonment years ago. That would have helped you immensely. You’re probably going to need a lawyer at this point 
best of luck to you and your family. Just try not to let this small part of life get in between you and your now partner/family. This too shall pass.
Put it straight into an account for her she dies t need to be thankful for it, it’s the least she deserves. There are 1000’s who don’t get a penny from shitty absent parents so rather than being thankful that he’s paying something, just accept what pittance get pays snd give it straight to your daughter x
Have it go into an account you’ll forget about until she’s 18, then she can donate it if she likes or… have a fun vacation. Thanks dad.
My advice is talk to a lawyer.
You’re going to have to go through court at this point, but get a lawyer asap. I wouldnt take a dime, you’re not required or obligated to. Your daughter doesn’t need that kind of confusion in her life, if she’s happy with your new man then do everything you have to to keep her life stable and happy.
The court is making him pay. Take it to pay you back for doing all on your own. Put it towards her needs, savings. If courts find out he is making more or has made more, they will make him pay, even if it is years from now.
That’s like 380 a year. Maybe you and step dad match it and invest. Or just high yield savings. Or just take the child for a weekly happy meal. 
My friend had Same issue. She didn’t use the money. She left it in an account for when her daughter turned 18. Her daughter was Abel to buy a really nice car w it and help get her rent and books for college.
In ohio if he is behind and hasn’t paid anything in a year or more or hasn’t had any contact with you or the child in a year or more. One of the 2 has to be in play. Then you can file for step parent adoption. After you have been married a year.
It’s not much but take it and put in a savings account for her. When she’s 18 it’ll be almost 5,000 plus the interest of the account and she can use it as she pleases.
And she doesn’t have to thank him for anything. A real man would be there or give more he owes her everything and she owes him nothing.
… did u say 8 dollars …lol is this a joke?! … how insulting. He’s clearly never had to provide any thing for any kid. Let alone done groceries. I’d tell him to keep his measly 8 bucks and try not to spend it all in one god damn place lol 
But seriously… get a lawyer. Asap. Unless he signed his rights away… a bio parent still has rights… my kids dad is sent straight from hell lol and he still won joint custody. Evidence from the previous DV will help you if you have it, but hearsay will not. Good luck
Just put the money in a savings account. That way youre daughter has some savings for when she becomes an adult.
Well I do know the biological father has to agree to sign rights over. And since he’s paying now, I’m gonna assume he’s not gonna do that. When u have kids with someone, no matter the situation, that’s their parent. Even if he was absent 10 years. Doesn’t matter.
I don’t need to be a Lawyer been threw this 4 times 3 with the same father. And Lawyers care about one thing $$$. Period…Do what’s best for the child. Not what you want but what is best. And remember they grow and get curious…you may have control now…but one day you won’t…children are naturally curious this child will find their Father guaranteed. Even if he never sends a dime or sees this child…He or She will seek him out. Do what’s best…not what you want but what’s best for the child. Regardless you cannot protect them forever they will do what they want 
. This money you speak of is not yours anyways remember that it’s for and is the child’s. Unless the Father is a DANGER you need to keep your heart open. This child may end up getting hurt by his or her Father in the future you need to let them find out for themselves who their Father is. If you don’t do it now it will happen eventually. I knew my daughter was going to get hurt he had a new life…but she wasn’t going to listen to me…she had to find out for herself…it was painful for me it watch but she had to know. And remember not all Returning Father’s have bad intentions and they are the ones who have to answer to God and that Child why they disappeared. You are in a hard position but it’s Not about You it’s about the Child.
I don’t know if you can reject the money or not. Probably best to consult a lawyer about the support and about the adoption. If you have to take it you could put it in a separate account and then when she is older either give it to her or give it back to him.
if you accept money you also accept giving him more rights too her. don’t take it
I wld put it in an account for her for when shes older.
Just put it up for her
It doesn’t matter if you accept it or not. He’s probably doing it to show that he is trying. Courts don’t care if you accept it. What matters is that he tried to give it to you. My son grew up not knowing his father. That was his fathers choice. But when he was old enough to realize that his real dad wasn’t around he was hurt. Just be cautious. My son met his dad at the age of 15. His dad walked out again. My son passed away. I can tell you that I have no regrets on how I handled things. I was very opened with my son. He came to me and told me he didn’t need his biological father. He had a dad that chose him and was an amazing dad to him. Good luck.
Get a lawyer.
Get a custody agreement if you don’t have one.
In the US, if you get assistance, they want child support paid. In some states, he can sign away this rights & still be forced to pay.
Regardless, get a lawyer.
It’s pretty insulting but if you are looking into adoption after you get married, the best advice anyone can give you is to seek legal counsil.
Get a savings or a bond for it to go directly into & give it to the child when she is done with school & goes to live on her own.
Let it go to a child support card and give it to her for her 18th bday or an emergency fund or college fund. Life changes to quickly to determine you may never need that money backed up somewhere
Put money in trust fund and / or start a pension in childs name
You should be able to get him for abandonment or something what I would do cut all ties!
Put it in an account for your daughter.
So why not just keep the money and put it into a savings for her if anything
Only my opinion…get a lawyer to protect her and send all the money that may be sent into an account for later.
Speak to a lawyer. You can put the money into a savings account or money market for your daughter. She has the choice to use it someday or not.
Maybe he’s actually trying to be a dad now. Your fiance can’t adopt her unless the bio dad signs off and gives up his rights. You rejecting the CS will make you look uncooperative as well.
Go see a lawyer. Maybe they can consult for free.
After a year is concidered abandoned…six is way past…money or no money.
put the money into a savings account for your daughter, No matter how much or how little it is, End of story
Honestly from what I’ve read, even if there were a court case where bio dad needed to come, do you really think he would? After the first court date with a no show that’ll be more in your favor than his
Save the money for her as an inheritance if you don’t need it, for college etc.
That money is HERS not yours!
Stick it in a uni fund or car fund for later.
It’s not your money to reject. You should put the money in an account for her when she turns 18. Also, every child has a natural right to know where they come from.
I bet it’s for his taxes.
Well first off that’s not for YOU that’s for your daughter 
put it in savings and give it to her when she’s old enough
Take the money it is not meant for you it’s meant for your daughter. It’s her right to be supported. Even if you take it and put it away for college it’s hers
That money is for her , not you. That could be saved to buy her a car or a deposit on her first apartment or towards college. Who cares if he complains about it?
Speak to a lawyer if he’s had no visitation in 4 years look into taking his rights does your new man want to adopt?
You can’t reject it. Especially if you get assistance in anyway.
Put it in an account for whatever she wants to do after high school, and give it to her at graduation. It’s not about you. It’s not about him. She’s only six. If you put it in the bank and let it accrue interest, it’s something more than nothing for when she actually needs it.
That’s your daughter money, not for you. Put it in an account and start saving it for her schooling, first car, first move, whatever, but don’t deny her because of your anger with him. She may choose to see him someday, and she’ll be angry at you for making the choice to keep her away from him and his support.
I would take it and re direct it into an account. When your child turns 18 give her the account and say that’s all the money your dad has paid for you over the years.
£384 a year. She will end up with about 5k. Tell her to do with it as she wishes. But she will see right in front of her the little effort made.
Listen NO MATTER how happy she is with the stable guy in your life. She’s gonna go looking for her father teen through young adult. It doesn’t matter
Every girl I know like me including my siblings are all like this and we all had different dads. Some drug addicts and that didn’t stop us!
I was adopted and I wanted my real parents to it was a giant missing peice that you can’t fill with nothing
Only she can with her Dad or God.
Just think about how that man can spin this all on you and be careful with your choices that it’s not out of selfishness or hurt. Do what’s best for her and know you won’t be able to keep them apart forever if he pops in as minor randomly after all this time.
She will go off on her own.
Wow that’s about $10 a week, is that correct? Yea put it in a savings and give it to her when she turns 18, then he didn’t contribute anything to her as a child.
I would let it go so you do not look like the parent in later life. Start a savings account and put it in her name and when she goes looking for Dad which she will give her all the money and let her decide what to do. Also, have a nice reason to talk to her when asking about the missing Dad in her life You never want to look like that nasty person whom kept her from her Dad. Let him explain when they finally do meet and hold back regarding trashing him as she grows up… You are the better person and always remember that.
All these people talking about the money!?!?! I would definitely hire a lawyer right away to have on retainer. Things get ugly real fast in court when children are involved.
Take the money and open a savings account for her for when she is of age. The money is for her anyways.
Take the money.
Start a college fund for your daughter.
I totally understand wanting to reject this money. He hasn’t been around, you’ve been successful enough to provide on your own. I would contact csa and see what there options are for you. Yeah you could save the money towards stuff for later, but if you have a plan for the rest of her finances and don’t need it, I’d be trying to reject it too. I have a son with an ex an I never took him for child support or nothing. I wanted to show my kids to be independent and not need anything from anyone else. My ex definitely wasn’t no multimillionaire either lol he struggles and taking more from him would only prevent him being able to see his child even more.
The reason he will have done it now is if you hadn’t received any money for 5 Years you can apply to have their parental rights took away x
I strongly urge you to take peoples advice and put it into an account for your daughter regardless of the amount.
My mom made the decision you’d like to make and I resented her for quite a while for it. She lead me to believe for a long time my biological father wanted nothing to do with me, only to find out when I got older that he had wanted to send support and she told him not to, and then had me legally adopted by the man she married.
To you there may be resentment towards the man that he is, but to her at one point or another that will be the other half of her DNA and she has right to search for him or have a relationship. The money if for her, not for you, and even if it’s a small amount, it could be put towards her future.
Take it. It’s for your daughter, not you. Start a savings account for her that she can’t touch until she’s 18.