Should I say something to my step daughter about her sucking her thumb?

So I have a 10 year old step daughter who still sucks her thumb and carrys around her blanket she’s had sense a baby. Is that normal or am I wrong for voicing my concerns about it? I been saying something now for the last few years that it isn’t normal. But then I’m the bad step mom. I have 5 of my own. My oldest is 10 and non of them nor my nieces and nephews have ever done that. But her mother only has 1 and can’t have anymore so she baby’s her really really bad. It’s very clear who rules the roost in that family. But this sucking her thumb and clinging to her blanket thing is weird. I just don’t want her picked on and bullied


It’s not weird, its her comfort.
You are already very judgemental of her and what she is doing. Its very clear how you feel about it. It doesn’t hurt anyone or anything. My son is 7 amd has 2 blankets he carries everywhere but school. He is well rounded, very social and never gets made fun of.
Leave the child alone, you sound jealous and bitter over a 10 yr old. You may want to look within yourself. Best of luck.


Those are her comfort items… aka when she feels worried, sad, mad, ext those are the things that calm her. You are being very judgemental. And probably part of the reason she always has the blanket and sucks her thumb.


Leave it alone! I promise you she will stop
When she is ready. I sucked my thumb until I was 22 because it was my comfort, then one day I realized I didn’t need it anymore. It did not mess up jaw or anything. My parents tried everything to get me to stop and nothing worked.


I’m 27 and pregnant and I still have my raggedy, ripped up blankie from when I was a baby. I even still sleep with it on occasion and rub it on my face for comfort. I feel like I’m a perfectly normal adult. :woman_shrugging:t2::rofl:


If yr concern is her being bullied don’t bully her.
This is a comfort to her look beneath for why she feels insecurity. It sound like yr part of the problem rather than the solution .with yr rules the roost comment.


The fact that this bothers you says more about you than I’m sure you wanted us to know :woman_shrugging:t4:

How does this bother you? It’s her comfort just let her be.


I sucked my thumb until adulthood. There were security issues but I was embarrassed by it. She will stop on her own. Don’t add to her insecurities. You don’t know all that she is dealing with.

This should be a discussion with her parents. If you’ve already voiced your concerns that’s all you can do. She isnt hurting herself or anyone else with those comforts. Leave her be and keep those thoughts to yourself because you sound awfully close to being the bully yourself.


Leave her alone! I’m about to be 29 and still have my ragedy blankie from when I was a child and still twirl anytime I’m home :rofl: I also sucked my thumb till I was 15. I was never picked on :woman_shrugging:t2:


Dayummmmm this page is so rude and judgmental anytime anyone uses the word “step” :roll_eyes:
I’m with you I think it’s weird… The blanket not so much but the thumb definitely
But it’s true that being the step mom there’s really not much you can do if her mom doesn’t want it to change except try and get her to stop while she’s with you
She’ll probably most definitely get picked on at school :slightly_frowning_face:
Best of luck mama!

Please understand that she may never stop finding comfort in this and instead find a way to be supportive. Its not going to be easy, but think about this… how does she feel? As an adult, its easy to want to help her stop but she’s already doing this for comfort. How will reminding her to stop help her? Can you find what is causing the stress, is there a pattern? For example, she may do this when sleepy, hungry, emotional, not feeling well, etc… this is an instictive response she may not even notice as to her it is self regulating and normal. Please be patient! I’m so glad she has an understanding and caring bonus mom to help guide her… you will be a comforting and safe feeling that will help her as she grows!! Keep up the good work mamas!


She’s 10……
I doubt she will be dragging a blanket around at 16. She may still sleep with it then or want it around if she’s upset or something but other than that what’s it hurting?

The thumb sucking I wouldn’t tolerate though. Only because if didn’t mess up one persons mouth doesn’t mean it won’t hers.

Blanket is w.e, it comforts her so i would leave that alone. But thumb sucking, i never let my kids do that as babies & I wouldnt let them at 10. Horrible for your teeth & also so dirty

We had that same problem with our son. From 2 months old til he was 7 years old. He’d suck his thumb and play with his nipple at the same time. It didn’t matter what he was doing. We finally went with a thumb guard in his mouth. That was a bust bc he’d pull it out. So bc he loved his video games. We would put a dot on both his thumbs and told him if the dots were gone his games were too. He hasn’t sucked his thumb since. He’s almost 15 and every now and then I’ll catch him putting his thumb up to his mouth but he won’t put it in his mouth. Bc of his thumb sucking he’s 3 years into having braces and has to go thru another phase once he finishes the first round :weary:
Good luck momma!! I get it’s a comfort and a security thing for kiddos however, we were worried he’d get bullied for that and having jacked up teeth. He even says looking back he wished he’d never been a thumb sucker bc he hates having braces.

My 6 year old sucks his thumb and has a blanket he absolutely has to sleep with he’s had it since he was brought home. He used to suck his thumb a lot and I always use to say things then once I stopped he doesn’t do it so much anymore and if he does it’s to fall asleep and I just pull it out his mouth once he is sleeping. My other two never did this or needed anything special to go to sleep. Every child is different

Butt out! Unless your the perfect mother, that is between her PARENTS!! Her father and mother. She is dealing with with a split family…and unless your a certified psychologist, which, judging from your post you do not have the education, butt out or talk to her father.

My daughter is almost 10 and does the same thing. Her drs have always said it’s a sensory/self-soothing thing. I’m still trying to break it with her too :woozy_face:

I don’t think it’s weird at all. I sucked my thumb and had a pillow (which I still have ) until I was 16 and started smoking so I stopped because I didn’t like the smoke smell on my pillow. I think it is a pretty normal thing for a lot of people. You should be building her confidence and telling her to be herself :blush:

I sucked my thumb much longer then I should have. Everyone in my family would make fun of me and teachers at school would constantly tell me to stop. I ended up needing braces and had a severe, I mean SEVERE overbite. Telling her to stop won’t help. She more then likely needs therapy to work through issues with in that no one else may be aware of. No amount of shaming or hot sauce will “fix” her unless you do it correctly. I don’t necessarily agree with “letting it go” because unfortunately the amount of damage she will do to her bite will be expensive and painful, just approach with caution and do it with the intent you would like to help.

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My 9yo son has a stuffed bear that used to be mine, it’s like 18yrs old, but he walks around the house with it and sits on the couch with it. He doesn’t take it to school or anything obviously, but it’s his comfort item and I would never force him to give it up just because I think it’s “weird” Also, you sound kind of bitter with the whole “rules the roost” thing. Like you feel you should be the one in charge just because you have more kids than her and equate that to you knowing better than her.


I sucked my thumb until I was 19. I still have my tickle(blanket) and I’m almost 40. She will either grow out of it or she will do it for the rest of her life. I think she will be ok.

This isn’t uncommon and very normal you just sound like you want control over her. Leave her alone. :woozy_face::roll_eyes:

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No, it’s not that you don’t want her to be picked or bullied. It’s that YOU don’t want to be embarrassed by it.

Some children are less mature than others and I am sure being the step child and step sibling in a large family causes her to seek comfort. Let her be the child that she is. Eventually when she is ready she will out grow this.

But for now stop picking on her, 2 years of you bullying her and telling her she isn’t normal will definitely cause her to seek extra comfort while in your care.

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I’m 39 and still have a blanket I sleep with. It’s a comfort thing. I sucked my thumb till I was 16.


Obviously both of her parents know about this and don’t have issues. You aren’t the parent,so your worries don’t trump mom and dads. Leave the poor girl alone. She’s self soothing. Maybe you’re stressing her out, you sound kind of controlling. And just because you’ve had more kids doesn’t mean you know more than her mother about what’s best for her.

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Don’t want her picked on an bullied. Proceed to call her weird and convince us she’s “in charge” of her own mom. Hmm

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My 10-year-old has had a blanket since she was a tiny baby I adopted her and that is her security

Sucking her thumb isn’t good for her teeth but her blanket is her comfort. At that age pick your battles. She does need to stop sucking the thumb though for oral hygiene reasons

My sons 11 and has stuffies that he has had since birth. It’s his comfort.

My only concern would be for her teeth but other than that leave it alone :heart:

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Totally normal. You need to leave it alone-sounds like you might be the one bullying a bit. I know numerous adults that still have their childhood blankets. They are all well adjusted adults. The only concern of mine would be the thumb sucking because it could cause her to need braces, but that isn’t your problem. That’s between her and her, her mom and her dad.

It’s her normal and you need to leave her alone. Many children have blankets, teddy bears or other comfort items. I’m sure she only sucks her thumb when she’s tired or anxious. You need to provide understanding and love, not criticism and judgment.

My youngest still has a favorite blanket and yes, occasionally sucks her thumb. She’ll be 10 this summer. It’s a habit we tried to break but she still did it when tired. It’s less often now but it’s not hurting anyone and it gives her comfort. Just leave the kid be. At least she has something that gives her comfort which is more than we can say for most adults. Heck, my best friend still has a piece of her baby blanket that she keeps with her and she’s in her 30’s. No big deal. Of course me being me I gently tease her about it but I don’t care. It’s not hurting you and if it’s not inhibiting her in other ways, why should you care?

Not weird at all maybe your just a bit judgmental have you lived through the trauma of a split home have you ever grieved something or someone if so how did you cope did you do things that comforted you yeah that’s what that little girl has subconsciously been doing leave her alone

It’s not abnormal nor weird lol. It’s also not your place to voice your concerns about it. It’s her way of comfort which is completely normal. Just because your kids don’t do it doesn’t mean the next kid can’t either. Not all children are the same so you can’t compare. Leave it alone.


I honestly suck my thumb when I am extremely stressed like when my husband had an affair and I was sobbing for days in my bed. It does not hurt anybody and I don’t drink or do drugs so to each his own

That’s not weird at all, my 19 year old son still has the same pillow he had when he was young. He won’t travel (on a bus or fly) anywhere without it. It’s a comfort thing. My 4.5 year old daughter also has a blanket that she sleeps with and sucks her tumb. She is slowly starting to go without it sometimes. It’s just a comfort thing.

If she had said she needed advice for her daughter I have a feeling some of these answers would be different!
Thumb sucking past 4 or 5 needs to be addressed. If it’s comfort she seeks there are other ways to learn to soothe… soothing isn’t bad but thumb sucking can and usually leads to alot or oral issues later… not all cases but many (before I get the … I’ve been sucking my thumb for 40 years comments…) nothing wrong with a blanket/stuffed animal but I would definitely discourage the sucking. Like I said just because it’s a self soothing habit doesn’t mean it’s a healthy one.

Sounds like your the one picking on and bullying her…unless her dentist has said its messing up her teeth i dont see how it’s hurting her or anyone else. leave her be.

Maybe that’s how she finds comfort and feels safe, you already sound bad just comparing her to your bio kids, in this case I would honestly say mind your business and your kids and if her parents find it a issue they would address it.

My neice has sucked her thumb with her blanket since she was a baby. She’s 15 and she still does it and still has a small piece of the blanket left. She has autism and it’s a life long comfort for her. Idk if she will ever stop but as she got older she stopped doing it Infront of people and only does it at night.

One of my friends daughter is 9 and she has her “ducky blanky”. The blanket isn’t such a big deal to me as sucking her thumb. Just because I think it’s bad for their teeth and also if they don’t wash their hands it can be icky like biting nails.

You are the one bullying her and judging her for it, so yeah you would be the bad step mum in my eyes too, we all need comfort and she obviously doesn’t get it in any other way so harmlessly she sucks her thumb and has a blanket !!! Leave her be

My son sucked his thumb forever, never in front of people once he got older, but I would catch him sometimes when he was that age. He’s 12 now and I don’t think he does it anymore, but I never made a big deal of it, just reminded him that the less he had his hands in his mouth, the more likely his thumb rash would go away. Kids do things in their own time. I’m willing to bet she doesn’t do it in front of her peers anyways. Honestly, with the blanket, my daughter still has two noodle blankets that she smells and cuddles, she’s 13 haha it doesn’t hurt anyone and she brings it with her to sleep overs and no one bats an eye. Heck I have a friend who has a 19 year old of her own and still sleeps with her childhood teddy. Comfort comes in different forms for everyone, I would just leave her alone.

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I would encourage her to stop the thumb sucking as it can really screw up her teeth but having a blanket isn’t too strange. Some people carry their baby blankets into adulthood. If it makes her feel better why stop it?

I mean… I’m 37 and still sleep with my baby blanket I’ve had since I was born… and there is nothing wrong with that and I am perfectly normal. As far as the thumb sucking goes, I know for some kids its a soothing tool for them.

I’m 32 and still have my childhood comfort pillow and I sleep with it every night. leave her be, it’s totally normal. and I know grown adults who suck their thumbs, it’s not that big of a deal

Apparently I’m the odd one out lol I agree that she’s a little old to still suck her thumb although the blanket is fine. But if her mother refuses to do anything then that’s on her. I would talk with your husband about maybe just encouraging her to only do it at home or in her room. But again it may not work if bio mom isn’t on board.

Just be there and support her as much as you can. It’s her comfort obviously and you don’t know what she is needing comfort from. Just be there for her continuously. Maybe she will talk to you about it.

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The blanket thing isn’t an issue. My twelve year old still sleeps with it and it goes to any stressful event (dentist, shots at the doctors) or if he thinks he will fall asleep on a trip. The thumb sucking can definitely be an issue. I had a friend who sucked her thumb through middle school. She had to have her jaw broken and realigned the spring of our Junior year. She told us it was due to her extended thumb sucking. Maybe suggest your husband consult with the child’s dentist. A pediatrician isn’t going to be able to make that judgement, but a dentist will.

My son is 18 yrs old and he still has his blanket and a stuff elephant from when he was just a wee boy and he still sleeps with them There is nothing wrong with it
Leave her be she will grow out of it or not

No, your step daughter is likely doing it because it’s a self calming behavior. Having separated parents can be extremely difficult and it doesn’t sound like there’s a great relationship between parents.


my niece is 30 years old. She still sucks her thumb.
 She has her bachelors  and masters degree She owns her own house, cars and everything under the sun. If that’s her comfort, let her be!!
you don’t want her picked on or bullied, but look what you’re doing …… Sad

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It’s her comfort. My step kids are teenagers and sometimes still bring their blankets. You need to pick your battles and this isn’t one

It’s a comfort thing. Unless it’s messing with her teeth I would let it go. I would maybe limit blanket to only naps, bedroom, lounging around. Def not at kitchen table, places etc. if that becomes a big deal let her dad talk to her.

My mom sucked her thumb until she was 12, no matter what Mamaw did she wouldn’t stop. It was her left one only, then she fell out of a tree broke her left arm, and couldn’t get her thumb to her mouth, she stopped…lol

It’s a self soothing behavior. I had a cousin that did it until she started middle school and got bullied

I sucked my thumb till I was 15 and anyone that got on me about it I started to shy away from if you want to have a good relationship I wouldn’t

It’s not ur child let the mom and dad figure it out and it’s not hurting anything her doing that!

Let it go! The job of a grandparent is to love unconditionally and let them know how amazing they are. It is actually a great position to be in. I have 12 grandkids. Happy to not be the parent now and enjoy the grands!

My sister sucked her thumb till she was like 17 :rofl: leave the poor kid alone everyone comforts them selves differently .

Going agaist popular opinion here keep encouraging her to stop with the thumb sucking and limit home or overnight trips for her blanket. She will start to get picked on by her peers eventually for these behaviors

My nearly 19 year old has a blankie she’s had since she was a baby. You’re the one that’s weird picking on a child for their security items


That is not your place. She has a mom and dad. Leave those type of issues between them.

Please be a loving friend to her. I sucked my thumb till age 12 & also wet the bed. I was so embarrassed but my body wouldn’t wake up. Did you know some babies suck their thumbs in utero?

My 7 year old still sucks her thumb. The more I say about it, the more she does it.

I had my baby blanket until I was 16 and the only reason I stopped then is because it was lost when I was put in foster care.

Not to be mean but at this point it appears the only person picking on and bullying her for this is you. Maybe accept a child for who they are. It’s very clear who rules the roost in YOUR nuclear unit. Yuck, sort yourself out lady.

She is self soothing. It’s her calming mechanism


Leave her be. Your probably making her feel bad enough.

Rather then telling her to give it up all together. Why don’t you explain it to her that kiads are cruel. And there is potential people well say stuff. Maybe just doing these things are home to avoid anything from happening is best.

Nope, leave that child alone, and definitely leave that blanket alone. I’m nearly 50 years old and I’ll throw hands with anyone that messes with mine.

My daughter has the same blanket since she was 7 days old, she’s now turning 14 and she sleeps with that blanket every night.

You don’t have a right to say shit. Keep your nose out of it. Its not your damn place to tell a child something that’s not yours amd no its not weird :woman_facepalming: your the only weird one here

Leave her alone!!! She is not hurting you or anybody else, And stop comparing her to your kids, my aunt is over 60 and still sucking her thumb

She’ll need to find another way to cope and soothe herself, keep working on breaking that bad habit!

The blanket isn’t such a big deal but thumb sucking at that age can have seriously negative consequences on her oral health

It’s not weird. It’s her comfort and soothing.


Just leave her alone. That’s her comfort. Both my kids are blanket chewers. It’s normal.


I know adults who still suck their thumb. It is called self soothing. One friend started it up after a DV

Switch this out with daughter and see how answers change :joy: I would be asking a medical professional/dentist not asking a facebook group


I know 20 year Olds that still suck their thumb… No winning this battle. Let this one go. Not worth the stress or thought.

She knows. You don’t need to tell her.

It’s not weird to self soothe. Leave her alone.

Sounds like the only person picking on her is you.

My son is 10 and still has a blankie and teddy sometimes

That’s her comfort blanket

Sounds like she’s only being bullied by you :woman_shrugging:t2:

Definitely weird if they bring it in public! They thumb sucking part isnt any better

it’s actually normal. so there’s that.

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It’s completely normal…

Don’t sweat the small stuff…

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26 and still do it :woman_shrugging:t3:

You don’t want her picked on or bullied…so, you do it instead?

I’m 55…and have the desire to suck my thumb E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y!:rofl:

That’s not your job all correction should come from her dad or mother

Leave her alone!! It’s a comfort thing and she’s not bothering anyone!! Ahhh I had parents who screamed at me and dumped nasty things on my thumbs, adults are F’in weird with control issues!! I’m 29 and would have never bothered any of my kids if they did it!!


Not all kids are the same.

I say mind your own business …