Should I take away soccer since my son isn't doing well in school?

I think thats to far that could be a positive thing for him

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This child has a focus issue. Allowing him to do what he enjoys but not those that he doesn’t is not good. You need to replace the soccer with an alternative like chores. Teach him to work responsibly first, (it’ll take him much further in life) he can play later.

I wouldn’t take away a sport. I still sign my kids up for all their extra curriculars regardless of their school grades. Maybe sign him up, but keep it a secret for now, and tell him he has to earn it. Be very clear in your expectations of what he needs to do before he goes to soccer. If he is struggling at school you should try to find the root cause and help him.

I try my hardest to treat my kids as small individual humans, not my possessions to exert my will over. I wouldnt allow someone to remove my leisure activity after a bad day at work, so I wouldn’t think to remove my children’s.

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Ummmmmm no. Sounds exactly like my kid at that age. Thanks to therapy and actually digging in to get to the root cause, he was found to have several diagnoses that were simply out of his control. His football was then used as PART OF HIS THERAPY!

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That’s a long-term “punishment” that I feel would do more harm than good.

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I never understood taking away sports when they do bad in school.
Get to the root cause. Try to help encourage and motivate.

Take away privileges and bonus things, not important things.

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seek professional help as it could be adhd or autism or something.

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Has he ever been evaluated by a doctor for ADHD/ ADD?

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Sounds really cruel. Why take away something he loves because he’s struggling at school? There’s a huge difference between being lazy and struggling. May be ask the school what support there is so he doesn’t fall further behind. Also worth checking out for ASD or Dyslexia too. Instructions get more complex at that age so it could be an issue with understanding work.

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The question to ask is why is he struggling at school? It could be a learning disability like dyslexia.

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Take away his games, Tv, phone etc have your son do more chores but keep him active in soccer; if not give him extra chores of responsibilitiesto have! He might just like that better than all electronics he has. If not its a reason to start acting better. Your child is old enough to know right from wrong!

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If your child’s coaches are the kind that you can open up to, maybe try seeing if they can get your child to open up about what’s causing the issues. Sometimes all it takes is another trusted adult to talk with them.

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Have you looked into why he is struggling and not being able to focous? I woukdnt take anything away from him untill you have looked into it, my son really struggles at school, he’s bright but can’t focous very well, same with my daughter, they both have been diagnosed with adhd due to the fact they don’t focous at school. Obviously not saying that’s the case with your child, but would be ashame if he was being punished for something he could not help, also it has been very hard on kids with schools closing and that.

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Soccer is barely an hour of his time a day, and game time on weekends it is a physical activity that is good for him. Try talking to his teacher and his doctor and maybe look into testing for learning disabilities, ADD, ADHD, even food allergies and parasite problems can cause those kind of things. If you have to punish him by taking things away take his electronics away no tv until homework is done, and that does mean all of the tvs are turned off in the house.

I don’t see a problem with taking it away I would take all games and things away as well maybe not so much as a punishment but a means for him to focus on school and behavior with no distractions! (Soccer is a privilege not a right)!

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NO KIDS NEED TO BE BUSY!! figure out why he is having trouble! Not punish him because he doesn’t get it !

Give back soccer not all kids are great / enjoy everything let hem enjoy what he does and its healthy

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If he’s struggling at school or learning in general, try to get to the bottom of it, taking away sport won’t solve the underlying issue, he will only act out more.

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Cbd oil… life changer for everyone

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Give back the soccer take away extra chores, if he’s doing homework that is a chore in itself for boys

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Omg this makes so made. Honestly kids act out when their not receiving something of a need. Either it’s something from their parents or something they need internally. But of all the years to not be doing so great in schools the last year and this are it. All children are suffering with their education because of COVID. I spoke to many teachers who have confirmed this. Give the kid a break.

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Do what you need to do .
Sports was my last punishment because they learn from it so it’s not just “fun”.
It never got that far for us .

Personally, no I wouldn’t take soccer away. Taking away sports I feel like shouldn’t be a punishment. Sports help children out. This year for school has sucked for kids with how it all has been, I know I have a 12 & 13 year old and even if there grades aren’t the best which at one point they haven’t been we never took away basketball or gymnastics. Look into what the root of the problem is. I know for our kids it’s simply submitting the work since it’s all online either it won’t go through, or they forget to submit it and it’s the reason for a low grade. With my daughter I take the time out with her to make sure it’s all completed and if she doesn’t understand something to wait until I am home to complete the work and make sure I work with her to get through it and I’m in constant communication with her teachers.

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No pass no play is what they teach in High school. We taught our daughter that early. She still was able to practice/ play at home, she just wasn’t able to play with friends. Unfortunately this year she found out the hard way we weren’t making it up, and received her first F. So guess who has straight A’s after riding a bench? Sure, taking the electronics helps, but if he is anything like my daughter and most of the kids she grew up with, its out of sight out of mind.

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If you’ve taken away all that can be taken and focus us still a problem, maybe test for a deeper issue? From dyslexia to ADD/ADHD to simply having to deal with 2020 into 2021. Im the last yi say drug him, but sometimes, even for a little but until other coping skills can be learned and adapted into daily routine, the medications can help.

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Children need exercise. Don’t take away Soccer. Counseling/Therapy is worth a try. Much Love. <3

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Don’t take it away. If school is challenging, then he needs something to feel good and confident about.

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You are his mom, and you know what is best for him. I will tell you what has worked for me in the past. Taking away screen time and tv has worked to a certain degree. I have found that rewards and positive reinforcement worked better at that age. If he is being destructive, he needs a physical outlet. Soccer would be a good outlet. Looking forward, once he is in high school, the expectations of the program is to keep grades up. Not doing so can either be embarrassing for him, or feeling like he has let his team down if he has to sit out a game in order to get his grades up. I know this from experiencing this very situation! Much love! Good luck to you!!!

Sports are a great outlet for stress, and by taking it away you just made things worse. Obviously something is going on and you haven’t identified the problem

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I wouldn’t take away soccer personally. It is an activity that he learns things at.

My mom took away sports when I started slipping

Not all kids are good at school in general it is very structured and some kids don’t do well in that. I know friends who had hard times in school and their parents punished them for it and it made them mad,sad,bitter,etc. There’s probably a reason he’s not doing well on his school work. You should help him not punish.

School first in our home with 3. 2 graduated

Sure take it away if school work is suffering… that is more important then going to soccer. Get him a tudor for the subjects he is suffering in and make a goal…if u pick up your grades by a certain time then we can add soccer back. He needs to understand that soccer is a privilege and school work and chores takes president over anything else.

Sounds like he is struggling and needing help. IMO if he has an interest in soccer at 8…please let him have that outlet. Good fresh air, team work building and physical activity. That would be the last thing I “take away”. I would start with positive reinforcement. Homework together? Maybe a behavior reward system? See where and why hes struggling? Maybe its an attention issue? Too chaotic to focus? Maybe occupational therapy could help? (This was a great help for my son). There are so many reasons to struggle in a class setting. Then at home more work is sometimes just too much to take. Around age 5-7 in school is where sensory needs, eyes, ears etc issues start to show themselves. I would definitely look into these things before taking things away. Good luck and try your best to communicate with him.

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Ok without knowing the full story no one can say definitively either way… however as a last resort I pulled my son from footy when he kept mucking up at school and home. Yes sport can help but at the same time they need to learn that the extras are treats not a given.
It worked for me and my son. He has now returned to footy and is very aware that if his grades slip or his attitude returns then he will loose it again

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Are you not checking his work daily? He’s only in the 3rd grade. This is on the parents. He should still be in soccer and y’all need to step it up to continue to train him to do his work daily , by checking, and doing his “chores” by setting time limits (make bed when he up,) pick up toys once he’s finish playing with them.

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This person asked for help. Not criticism.
We don’t take our kids out of sports, we Do walk by their side-to do Chores-schoolwork-sports. We DO take away all electronics if not right by our side. We do not take away arts, bikes, books, instruments. We do spend more one on one time…not always fun…like, “I need to do the dishes, so you can help me or sit next to me and read or visit. I feel we need to get to know each other better.” Some help, some run away (follow and sit with them), and some sit and read or visit or write/draw. Best thing…it works for all ages. Trust me, some love this, some hate it, but they all leave feeling better about themselves. Not a lot of talking needs to happen.

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There is more going on than you are telling. Personally if you have not already you need to have your son evaluated for ADHD. If he has ADHD what your doing is actually harming and not helping him. Please take him to a neuro psychologist and have him fully evaluated. If he does have ADHD he need that physical activity and most likely more. If he has it work not only with a psych but also an occupational therapist who works with children with ADHD to help him learn skills to help him focus. FYY you can not tall those of us with ADHD to just focus and expect it to happen we actually need to learn skills to help us focus because unlike other people we can not just focus our brain on one thing unless it is something we a extremely interested in and then we will hyper focus on that for a long time. FYI do not listen if you have a teacher telling you Oh he would listen if he wanted too teachers are NOT doctors and should not be say they think a child is or is not ADHD. So please seek help of professionals and stop punishing your kid until you know foe sure what is going on because you can not punish ADHD out of a child.

This year’s been very hard on the kids with doing their schooling online if he’s still doing schooling online I probably would not take soccer away it’s his only outlet his only interaction with kids his own age but if he’s in school learning in class then I would probably take it away. And if he does better whatever sport comes next maybe let him do that one even if it’s not his favorite

As crazy as school is right now I’m surprised any kid is doing well I’d let him play sports we all need a little pleasure in this crazy world get a tutor for school work

I don’t think you should, I believe that if a child is struggling in school/ getting bad grades/failing/ or falling behind that they shouldn’t get punished for that. They should get extra help. :heart:

When I was around his age I was struggling really bad and my parents punished me for it and I remember hiding one of my papers because it was a D and I was terrified of getting in trouble when I tried hard just couldn’t focus and when they found the paper they were scolding me and I cried that I needed help not yelled at or punished because those things weren’t helping me learn more. Don’t take away something he loves or he will fail more, instead help him. This year has been really tough for kids cut them some slack

With the type of issues you’re having I’d say mabe not. We don’t really have all the details which is important. But it sounds like he’s acting out. Have any changes happened? Is he on a specific routine? Does he get one on one time with you? Take him on a trip just you and him. It can be quiet, or let him talk about whatever he needs to talk about. Taking tv/electronics and things like that would be better than a structured sport. I agree in part with Jane Degen. While you’re home, have him do things with you, and do things with him. Kids thrive off of structure and security. You want him to have a healthy outlet for his feelings. And I also agree with Chanel Geanette, sit down with him during homework time. Help him if he needs help, but knowing you’re there may help. I’d also add a reward system for his time limits. Find a good routine, stick to it, and make sure you’re taking time to have one on one time with him to build trust for him to open up about anything free of judgment. Once you find what’s bothering him things should get exponentially better.

Has he been evaluated by a doctor for any underlying condition?

He’s still little maybe find a hobby at home something he can enjoy check his work daily and find something at home you can both do together my youngest likes to help with my garden my youngest son likes to paint and my oldest 11 loves to bake mostly decorating but he does like to help me prep dinner and cook that seems to help with a lot of things helps them calm down focus a little bit more on school and also teaches them a new skill

My daughter is 15 after talking to multiple people we have decided to take away everything that isnt a necessity in life she won’t clean her room pickup after herself help around the house she has school 4 days a week I get her there 2 days for sure sometimes 3 now she says she don’t do anything cause we don’t do for her she has everything she needs plus some and were not buying her anything else til she starts helping out alot of people I talked to said they’d be the same way as long as she has what she needs which she does all she does is lay on the bed with her fine chrome book for school or tablet

Kids act out when there not being shown enough attention or if there not getting help enough, kids also act out when there doing school and they feel embarrassed that they cant do something that’s new or understand or if you yell at them to do it they wont or if your telling him to do things kids wont do it if they need help

He’s too young to understand such longer term consequences.

Punishments need to be in real time.

Like no computer today. Etc.

No, that is a positive outlet. Get him help

Tell him that you .
Love him